Adopted Child Wonders About Biological Mother

As an adopted kid, I can't help wondering – why did my mom give me up? Why would any mom put her child up for adoption? I've been aware of the situation since I was small, and on the whole I'm very happy with my life, but I can't get away from nagging thoughts and doubts about my birth mother. Didn't she care enough about me to raise me herself?

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It’s easy to understand why you’re continuing to struggle with these kinds of questions. Every adopted child goes through the same experience. You need to understand that under certain circumstances it can be very difficult – even impossible – for a woman to bring up a child. Perhaps your father was not living at the time. Maybe he had gone away and left your mother alone. In either case, she may not have had enough money to provide for you, or she might have been in ill health. Obviously, we aren’t in a position to know the facts. But there is one thing we do know: your birth mother must have loved you very, very much – enough to give you life and make sure you were raised in a loving home where you would be well cared for.

Maybe you will meet your biological mother in heaven someday. Until then, we’d advise you to be content with the knowledge that God knows both of you, and that He has control of the entire situation. Keep trusting in Him, and some day He may reveal the answers to your questions.

If you’d like to discuss your feelings at greater length with a member of our staff, feel free to call our counselors. One of our licensed professionals would be more than happy to listen to your story and help you sort out your concerns over the phone. Don’t hesitate to get in touch if this option appeals to you.

 

Articles
Longing for One’s Birth Family

Copyright © 2010, Focus on the Family.

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