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Faith Conversations: Ways to Show Love to Your Spouse

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A husband and wife are embracing each other with smiles on their faces as they look into each others' eyes, demonstrating the importance of making your spouse feel cherished.

Denying our own interests doesn't come naturally, but it conditions us toward a more sacrificial love. Dying to self proves we're serious about loving our spouse in the same way Christ loves His church.

Estimated reading time: 4 minutes

When it comes to ways to show love to your spouse, God has given us several options. These four short devotionals that you can do with your spouse will help you discover God’s love for each of you and will help you to show love to each other in new ways.

1. Love on Purpose

As a couple, discuss the book of 1 John. Read each chapter together or individually, then focus your conversation on the following passage and discussion questions. “Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God” (1 John 4:7).

  • What actions or words make you feel loved?
  • Which day-to-day events can cause us not to act loving toward each other?
  • What steps can we take to show love to each other consistently?

The distractions of life often make it difficult to show love to our spouse. Since love is shown through purposeful and consistent action, we need to find ways each day to make the expression of our love a priority. Just as we study God’s Word to know Him better, we must also study our spouse to know what makes him or her feel loved. Ultimately, love is from God, so we can ask Him to help us love our husband or wife better each day.

2. Show Sacrificial Love

As a couple, discuss 1 Corinthians 13. Read the chapter together or individually, then focus your conversation on the passage below, discussing the questions that follow.

“If I give away all I have, and if I deliver up my body to be burned, but have not love, I gain nothing” (1 Corinthians 13:3).

  • What is the most recent sacrifice you’ve made in our marriage?
  • How did you feel when you made the sacrifice?
  • What is the key to joyfully serving and sacrificing for others?

Marriage requires sacrifice. Sometimes, the sacrifices are small, like giving up your favorite television show. Other times, they’re life-altering, like taking a second job to pay for your spouse’s medical bills. No matter the size, the sacrifice means nothing without love. But we can’t muster up love on our own. We only have the ability to love others sacrificially when we’re connected to the source of love, Jesus Christ (John 15:4).

3. Show Unconditional Love

“I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me” (Galatians 2:20).

  • When did you first know that you were in love with me?
  • What events in your life helped you better understand God’s unconditional love?
  • In what ways do you think we could work together to show God’s love to our friends and family more effectively?

It’s easy to put conditions on the love we have for others, including a spouse: “I love you because you buy me nice presents” or “I will love you as long as you make me happy.” It’s a good thing that God’s love doesn’t work that way. Love is not only something God does; it’s who He is. Spending time with Him in prayer and studying His Word helps us discover and appreciate this aspect of God. Then His unconditional and sacrificial love can overflow into our marriages.

4. Show Unselfish Love

As a couple, discuss 1 Corinthians 10. Read the chapter together or individually, and then focus your conversation on the following discussion questions.

“Let no one seek his own good, but the good of his neighbor” (1 Corinthians 10:24).

  • When do you feel the most appreciated by others?
  • Tell me about a time you felt I honored and valued you.
  • What are some ways we could model Christ’s unselfish love toward each other?

Denying our own interests doesn’t come naturally, but it does condition us toward a more sacrificial love. There are plenty of opportunities each day for us to lay down our desires and put our spouse first — choosing a television program, adjusting the thermostat, or doing a chore that our spouse hates to do. Dying to self proves we’re serious about loving our husband or wife in the same way Christ loves His church. Those selfless acts clearly demonstrate our commitment to each other because commitment is the foundation of a deeply connected marriage.

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