A few months ago, my family moved to a different city for my husband’s new job. With all the change this move entailed, it seemed as if my husband and I were adjusting to a new marriage. I didn’t understand why my husband couldn’t make it home from work on time when I was lonely and trying to unpack the house. I also felt that he rearranged everything as soon as I could find a place for it.
I realized that I had to put a stop to my negative thoughts about my husband. He was not intentionally trying to upset me. He was simply learning a new job and a new routine. Allowed to go unchecked, my negative thoughts and feelings could have created fissures in the foundation of our marriage.
My mind needed to be transformed and renewed. Following encouragement from Scripture to “take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ” (2 Corinthians 10:5), I tried to turn each negative thought into a prayer.
Sometimes, it was a prayer of thanksgiving: Thank You, Father, that my husband now has a job. Sometimes it was a prayer for my heart: Lord, remind me why I fell in love with my husband. Reframing negative thoughts into prayers helped stop my destructive thought patterns. It also led me to pray for my marriage, which I had neglected to do.
I read the Bible, allowing God’s Word to renew and transform my mind. When I was reminded of God’s generous and overwhelming love for me, I was better equipped to love my husband.
Transformation starts with renewing our minds. When we let go of our destructive thoughts through prayer and fill our minds with reminders of God’s perfect love, more than our thoughts change. Our words, attitudes and actions change to be more like those of Christ.
Talk About It
- What area of our marriage is filled with the most tension?
- How can we pray about this to allow God to slowly transform our marriage?
Sarah Stirman is a freelance writer who lives near Frisco, Texas.
Do you know of a marriage in crisis? Learn more about Focus on the Family’s marriage intensives by visiting HopeRestored.com.