“So give your servant a discerning heart to govern your people and to distinguish between right and wrong. For who is able to govern this great people of yours?” The Lord was pleased that Solomon had asked for this. So God said to him, “Since you have asked for this and not for long life or wealth for yourself, nor have asked for the death of your enemies but for discernment in administering justice, I will do what you have asked. I will give you a wise and discerning heart, so that there will never have been anyone like you, nor will there ever be.” 1 Kings 3:9-12 (NIV)
Words of Wisdom From the Holy Spirit
There have been more than a few times as a mom that I’ve felt the Lord speak words of wisdom to me to change my thinking or direction. One of those times was over internet monitoring on our adopted16-year-old daughter. Every morning, I would look at the log reports from our internet monitor and often discover a new “hidden” social media account or other defiant online activities like being online after she was supposed to be in bed, etc. The behavior bothered me because it was deceptive and, in my opinion, dangerous. The problem wasn’t monitoring her. That’s responsible parenting. The problem that the Lord gave me wisdom and correction on was that I was seeing her through the lens of her deception and not through the lens of her preciousness.
The key piece of wisdom and insight at this moment was that my crack down on her also resulted in my language and actions toward her being overwhelmingly punitive, which hindered our relationship and pushed her deeper into her deceptive behaviors. For me, wisdom as a parent often looked like doing the opposite of what I “felt like” doing or even what “they deserved.” It was often uncomfortable and required the Lord to guide and lead me. Yet, in hindsight, I can testify that this submission and sensitivity to the Holy Spirit saved our family.
A Framed Hole in the Wall
I printed out this image when my kids were teenagers. This wall with the framed hole and sign always reminded me of exactly what I would do if I walked into this room. Of course, I would look in the hole. Understanding this led me to the wisdom and discernment that a seed of curiosity, wonder, and adventure is in all of us. It’s at its highest hormonally as teens and young adults. I can’t stifle it, so I needed to learn to work with it.
The Wisdom of Choice
As a parent knowing this, it was my goal to set as few “don’ts” as possible and instead try to use the wisdom of choice and curiosity to reach my goal. Instead of, “You can’t go out with your friends on a school night.” I tried things like, “What do you think a reasonable time to be home on a school night is?”
If I didn’t agree with their response, I would say, “Would you rather compromise on the time or not go at all?” Most of the time, we could agree on a time that I felt was reasonable, and they felt it was fair. I curiously explored their idea of a decent time and offered a firm but reasonable compromise. Interestingly, more than a few times, my girls would say, “I really don’t want to go because I’m tired, but my friends want me to go.”
Then I could offer, “Would it be better for them to think I told you no?” I’m always happy to be the scapegoat for extra sleep!
In parenting, we often find ourselves in situations that require more than our understanding and strength—they require wisdom and discernment. The challenges we face can be overwhelming, and the decisions we need to make can be daunting. In these moments, we need God’s wisdom more than ever. There have been times when I felt utterly lost and unsure of what to do next. Whether dealing with a crisis, navigating complex emotions, or making tough decisions, I realized my wisdom was insufficient. I needed divine guidance to help me through.
Words of Wisdom from Solomon
Solomon’s story is a powerful example of standing firm in wisdom. When Solomon became king, he recognized his immense responsibility and the limitations of his understanding. In 1 Kings 3:9-12, Solomon asked God for a discerning heart to govern the people and distinguish between right and wrong. God was pleased with Solomon’s request and granted him unparalleled wisdom. Solomon’s wisdom lay not only in his knowledge but also in his ability to apply that knowledge to make just and fair decisions. This is the kind of wisdom we need as parents.
Like Solomon, we often face complex and challenging situations that require more than human wisdom. Take a look at these words of wisdom from James 1:5: “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.” This verse reminds us that true wisdom comes from God. When we lack wisdom, we can ask God, who will provide it generously. This divine wisdom helps us navigate the complexities of our families with grace and discernment. Standing firm in wisdom means trusting God and seeking His guidance in every aspect of our lives.
Short Prayer
Heavenly Father, we come to You seeking Your wisdom and guidance. In the midst of our struggles and challenges, help us trust in Your plan and lean not on our own understanding. Grant us the wisdom to make the right decisions and stand firm in our faith. Surround us with Your peace and assurance, knowing that You are with us every step of the way. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
