Preview
Kevin Thompson: I think for so many of us, so often what we do is we deny what’s ours. We try to control what’s theirs and we fight about what’s God’s. Instead of accepting, “God, you know what’s best. I’m going to lean into what you’re doing in this moment. I’m gonna trust you and I’m going to accept what’s taking place.”
End of Preview
John Fuller: That’s Kevin Thompson here today on this Best of 2024 episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Kevin will be sharing with us the importance of setting boundaries to reduce stress in relationships. Thanks for joining us. I’m John Fuller.
Jim Daly: John, uh, let me ask you, I think, a loaded question.
John: Okay.
Jim: Do you get frustrated driving? (laughs)
John: (laughs) Uh-
Jim: (laughs)
John: Yes, I do. All the time.
Jim: Yeah, g-
John: I’m getting better, I think, but yeah.
Jim: Good answer.
John: How about you?
Jim: No, the same.
John: I mean, you’ve sai-
Jim: I mean, driving is such a, uh, personality profile test. (laughs)
John: (laughs)
Jim: You know. Uh, it is funny. It’s a great anecdotal kind of approach to life and-
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … how we drive and how that plays out in our personalities. And today we’re gonna apply that to a great guest, Kevin Thompson. We’ve had him here before, but he’s written a wonderful book. Stay In Your Lane: Worry Less, Love More, and Get Things Done. I think it’s a good Christian application to our driving frustrations. (laughs)
John: Okay.
Jim: So I’m looking forward to it.
John: And I think there are practical applications to all of life-
Jim: (laughs) Yeah.
John: … beyond driving, uh, frustrations. Kevin, uh, is the married life pastor at Bayside Church in Roseville, California, just outside Sacramento. And he and his wife, Jenny, have two children, Ella and Silas, and he regularly meets with and counsels couples and families and is a marriage and parenting conference speaker as well. Uh, he’s written a number of books and, uh, the one, as you said, Jim, uh, that we’re going to talk about today is Stay In Your Lane: Worry Less, Love More, and Get Things Done. Stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast for details or give us a call.
Jim: Kevin welcome back.
Kevin: Hey, thanks so much. Great to be here.
Jim: It’s good to see you as always. I’m laughing a little bit as we get started because Jean and I, when we first got married, uh, we fell into a job where we were traveling the country doing drug and alcohol abuse shows at high schools. And given this is a driving analogy book, this is what I think you’ll find funny. So of all the states we drove in, we grew up in Southern California, we got to Colorado here. We, we made the (laughs) decision, the worst drivers in the U.S. were actually here in Colorado.
Kevin: (laughs)
Jim: ‘Cause the slowest people drive in the fast lane, fast people drive in the slow lane. Nobody uses blinkers.
John: Uh-huh.
Jim: And I was thinking, “Man, California drives pretty well.”
Kevin: (laughs)
Jim: I mean, people drive fast in California, but we’re kind of going with the flow. People do use their blinker, they do move over when somebody’s coming up behind them. What have you found coming from Arkansas to California?
Kevin: Oh, it’s amazing.
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: Even the difference between, uh, Northern California and Southern California.
Jim: Yeah, yeah.
Kevin: There’s a different pace but, you know, I, I grew up in Arkansas, so I got a f- I got a 16-year-old-
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: … about to be 16-
Jim: Okay.
Kevin: … right, next month. And so we’re, we’re right there.
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: A- and I remember it was my grandfather that taught me how to drive, which I think is a great way to go about it, by the way.
Jim: In a pickup truck, no less?
Kevin: In b- in, in a pickup.
Jim: Oh, my goodness.
Kevin: In his pickup.
Jim: Okay.
Kevin: No doubt, 20,000 miles, he had had it for 20 years, right?
Jim: (laughs) Yeah.
Kevin: And so, I remember the advice that he would always give me is, “Just keep it between the ditch and the double yellow line.” That’s all I had to do, right?
Jim: Okay, that’s good. (laughs)
Kevin: Because in Arkansas, I mean, that’s, that’s where I, I grew up driving, right? So a couple of years ago, we fly out to Sacramento for the interview at Bayside and I get out on the interstate. It’s six lanes of traffic going one way, six lanes coming back the other way. And I remember distinctly thinking to myself, “There is no way I’m moving here.”
Jim: Yeah. (laughs)
Kevin: And, of course, what happens?
Jim: (laughs) You moved there.
Kevin: I end up moving there.
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: So my mom flies out about a month ago and I pick her up from airport. Now, we’re six lanes of traffic one way, six lanes coming the other way. I’m going 85 miles an hour, right? My mom, her head snaps and looks at me, she goes, “Who have you become?” Right?
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: But you know what amazes me, Jim, a- about the interstates in California? You get all the pictures around the holidays and things like that of the gridlock. The gridlock doesn’t surprise me. The amount of traffic that’s being moved, of course that’s going to happen. What amazes me is when it works well.
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: How fast we can go.
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: And with such tremendous proximity. I can almost reach out and touch the person-
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: … next to me. A- and there’s absolutely no danger. And do you recognize the technology that allows that to happen is paint on concrete?
Jim: (laughs) Yeah, it’s pretty intense.
John: (laughs)
Kevin: That’s all it is. Is paint on concrete that as long as I know the two of you are going to stay in your lane, I know what you’re going to do and we can move with tremendous speed and great proximity with no fear. And yet the moment one of us gets in a place we should not be, it’s chaos.
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: And that’s true not only in driving, I think it’s true in life.
Jim: Yeah. And now you’ve taken that application to life and I think that’s great. That’s what we’re going to spend our time talking about. Let’s kick it off with Bob and Sarah’s story. Y- you’re a pastor, you’re hearing very difficult things most of the days that you’re working. What was happening with Bob and Sarah?
Kevin: Yeah. So this was a scenario where they would always take an annual family vacation and everybody loved it and adult kids and grandkids. And, of course, grandparents absolutely loved it. Uh, but the daughter-in-law was having some difficulties. She came from a background that didn’t have quite a- as healthy of a family. Then there were probably some attachment issues that were basically going on. But in the previous trip it had gotten extremely uncomfortable. A- a- and now here they were coming up on the next trip and the, the, you know, the grandparents paid for everything, it was their trip. And they were really concerned that some of their kids weren’t going to go. So they just came to me to ask, you know, “What do we do? How do we reconcile all of this?” And so I just took out a sheet of paper, I drew a couple of lines, a- and I wrote the questions down. “What’s mine? What’s theirs? What’s God’s?”
Jim: The three lanes of traffic. (laughs)
Kevin: The three, what are the three lanes of life?
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: I think in many ways. A- and I said, “Hey, y’all just need to… Let’s just work through this and figure out what do you own, what do you not own, and ultimately what does God control?” A- and I look at it this way. Think about what’s mine, what do I control? What, what is it that I actually control? What’s theirs? I can’t control that, I can influence it. And then what’s God’s? I can’t control (laughs) that either. I have to accept it. Control, influence, and accept. I call it the CIA.
John: (laughs)
Kevin: You need to know the CIA because the CIA knows you.
Jim: Right. Here we go. (laughs)
Kevin: A- and so if we can figure out the things in life that we control, influence, and accept, it changes everything. And what happened to Bob and Sarah is they were so wrapped up with the chaos in their family, they lost sight of the control they had. And they were beginning to fixate on trying to control things they could not control.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Kevin: Which is their daughter-in-law’s behavior, the, the behavior, the decisions of their other children th- and I think that’s where we spend a lot of time. That’s how we don’t stay in our lane primarily. Is we tend to ignore what’s ours and try to control what’s theirs and that is a recipe for disaster. That’s worry. That’s concern. A- and so we just began to list out the things that they control. The number one thing they control that they had no idea. You’re paying for the trip.
Jim: (laughs) Right?
Kevin: You control who you invite. A- and the, the concept of not inviting their daughter-in-law was unacceptable, which that’s totally fine. If you don’t want to do that, that’s totally fine.
Jim: But you do have control over that.
Kevin: But you have to see that.
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: That you are making a decision here in who you invite and those kinds of things, the conditions that you allow. The, and so basically what happened at the end, I did not show them exactly what they should do. Uh, I helped them begin to see the decisions they actually had and to fixate on those and to give up trying to control things that they simply could not control. And what that did is it gave them a sense of agency, gave them a sense of empowerment. And it lessened their, their anxiety.
Jim: Yeah, which is good. Uh, so let’s, let’s crack it open, the what’s mine category. So in that, uh, why do we as human (laughs) beings have such a strong desire to control everything around us? There’s an answer, huh? Is that called the Garden of Eden?
Kevin: No, I would say so I think that goes back to the very foundation origins of who we are, right? A- and so we have this desire and it’s fascinating to me that God has given us so much control that we don’t take hold of and then we spend all of our time trying to control things that really aren’t our concern or our business. A- and so what amazes me is how much control God has given me over-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Kevin: … my own energy, my own effort, my, my own inputs, my own sense of attitude, my sense of hope. All these things, my character, all these things now belong to me. My relationship with God, He has made the pathway where I can have a relationship with Him. And now I’m supposed to work out that salvation with fear a- and trembling. All these things that now are actually in my possession on a daily basis, I almost push to the side and think, “I’ll get to that later. I’ll worry about that later.” Or, uh, I lose sight that I have that kind of control and then I fixate on things that are in no way mine, which is, “What is Jim gonna say next? What is, how is John feeling in this moment?” A- a- and I just try to control other people. Not in a, in a cold way, but with a caring pastor’s heart-
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: … uh, of, part of it is love, part of it is probably an anxious attachment where I’m trying to get my identity out of you liking me in some way. But any time I begin to fixate on these things that I don’t control, I lose this sense of empowerment. A- and the next thing you know, I feel somewhat helpless and hopeless in life. And I think that’s where a good number of our listeners are today. Is they’re in situations and they feel like there is nothing they can do. And I can almost assure you there is no situation in life in which you are totally helpless and totally hopeless. The key is to get back to what is it that you actually control? What’s mine?
Jim: Y- you speak to the power of owning our “no.”
Kevin: Mm-hmm.
Jim: I think of people pleasers. I can do that from time to time. I think we all can, as people. I mean, we want to, and even in a Christian context, we want to make sure we’re doing what we can to serve you, to please you. Uh, but you do use that power of owning your no. I see that, specifically being able to say no to some invitations, being able to say no to the church asking you to maybe do things on an already overloaded plate or, or even your work or whatever it might be. But speak to the power of owning your no.
Kevin: Yeah, I wrote that section of the book while looking in the mirror.
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: Because I, uh-
Jim: That’s honest.
Kevin: … I don’t, I don’t do that very well at all.
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: I am a people pleaser. I’m a pastor, right?
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: All those kind of things. Uh, but, uh, I was on stage doing a live Q&A a couple of weeks ago and, and they were looking back to the holidays. And they said they had, they had some family that came over and they didn’t leave. And they said, “Kevin, what, how do we help them-”
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: “… understand, next time, to leave?”
Jim: See the door.
Kevin: A- and I said, “Well, the, the problem there is actually not your guest. It’s you. You gave them, ‘Hey, why don’t y’all come spend the holidays with us?’ No beginning date. No end date. You left everything to them, hoping that they would read your mind of what you want. Now, you’re frustrated that they haven’t properly read your mind. Why didn’t you from the get-go, say, ‘Hey, we’d love to have you come spend the holidays with us. We hope you show up around these dates. What’s good for you? Uh, we, we’re going to have some other plans around these dates. When do you want to leave?’ And to have clarity before all that shows up.” But what happened is that couple now took the invitation and put it into the what’s theirs column and then was frustrated when they didn’t do it right.
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: I- in- instead of understanding, “No, I control what’s going on here.” And so, one of the things is, all the time, if you look how often we hope that people will read between the lines and hear our no, in- instead of just coming out and saying, “You know what, that’s not something I want to do right now.”
John: This is Focus on the Family with Jim Daly and our guest today is Kevin Thompson. He’s, uh, written a terrific book called Stay In Your Lane: Worry Less, Love More, and Get Things Done.
Jim: (laughs)
John: And you can find out more about the book and ways to donate to Focus on the Family online at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.
Jim: Uh, Kevin, let’s move to the second one because, uh, that these are three great ones. I was laughing there because of the title, it’s so funny. Worry less, Love more. Those feel so good. And get something done.
Kevin: (laughs)
John: (laughs)
Jim: I think I’m resonating to get some more-
John: Do life.
Jim: … get more things done. I like that. I must be a goal oriented person. But in that regard, the second one is what’s theirs. And this can be a little tricky because this is where we play back in the garden, “You know what, I want to own some of those outcomes. So I’ll, I’ll own what’s theirs.” And that’s not a good place to go.
Kevin: So this is a human condition that goes all the way back to the garden. It continues in the New Testament.
Jim: Yeah. (laughs)
Kevin: Uh, you know, think about after-
Jim: It’s called sin nature.
Kevin: Exactly.
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: Think about after the resurrection, uh, disciples are out fishing, right? Jesus on the shore, right? John 21. Uh, disciples swim, recognizes Jesus, Peter swims to the shore. Eventually, Peter and Jesus are on a walk. This is now the Restoration. That’s when Jesus asked Peter three times, “Do you love me?” All those kind of things. A- and the text says that Jesus told Peter, “Hey, whenever you were young, you went wherever you want to go. Whenever you’re older, somebody else is gonna dress you.” And the text says, “Jesus told him this, to tell him what kind of death he would experience.” So think about this. Jesus is prophesying to Peter about the future. Peter’s first question, “What are you gonna do with John?”
John: (laughs)
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: Now, consider that.
Jim: It’s trying to own the other guy’s stuff.
Kevin: No. Exactly. It’s this idea of, “Okay, if that’s my deal. I’m okay with that as long as John doesn’t get a better deal.” And in that moment, he is more concerned with what God is, what Jesus is going to do with John than what he’s going to do with himself.
Jim: Right.
Kevin: Right? A- and what amazes me a- about that concept is how fixated we become on the decisions and the choices of other people and how that ruptures relationships, how it strips us of any ability of agency within ourselves. And how really this is what begins to increase our anxiety level, specifically as parents.
Jim: Uh, Rosie and Troy were an example that you use in the book. Describe their situation, which may be a little different from Jesus and Peter.
Kevin: (laughs) Th- this is one of these fun s- meetings you get to have as a pastor, right? A great family, raise great kids. Now, they’re kind of college age, some are just out. But, but all in that kind of young adulthood, right? So some were in the house, some weren’t, some were back home for college. And, and they were just kind of having a little bit of frustrations. And so we sat down, a- and I was just gonna assist them as best I could. And in the midst of the discussion, the mom mentioned that the, one of the sons had a girlfriend that, that she didn’t necessarily care for. A- and that’s totally fine. You have every right not to care for, for a (laughs) girlfriend, right? Especially if you’re a protective mom. And I said, “Now, you, you didn’t tell him that, right?”
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: And, and she goes, “Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.” I said, “So, so he asked you?” And she goes, “No, no, no, he didn’t.”
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: I said, “Hang on. That, that’s the problem. Y- you’re, you’re still treating him as though he’s 14. He’s 22. He’s 23.”
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Kevin: Now, if he comes to you, and I hope that he does, that’s wisdom, to come to your mom and say, “Hey, what do you think? What do you see in this relationship?” But, but until he does that, you, you literally kind of need to hold back to some extent a- and allow him to make the decision that he’s gonna make. Uh, I tell my kids all the time, right, 15 about to be 16 and 18. We sit around a dinner table with six chairs. There’s four of us. Sometimes we have guests but I tell them often, “H- hey guys, e- eventually you’re gonna get to pick who fills these other two seats.”
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Kevin: Now, I do have a standard. It is my house. A- and so if it’s, if they’re unsafe, I can say they’re not gonna be here, right? At 15, I get to choose if your girlfriend’s coming to Thanksgiving dinner or whatever. But a day is gonna come where you’re going to choose who sits in those seats. It is my job then to respect the decision that you’re actually making. But that is a very difficult thing, uh, for parents.
Jim: Well, and I think, I mean, this is really critical. So we got to slow down for a minute and speak to the parent that is parenting a 20 something the way they did it at 15, 16. Uh, you, you’ve got to punch this bec…. I’m living in this (laughs) right now.
Kevin: (laughs)
Jim: I didn’t say punch me. The, uh, but you, you do. These are lingering aspects of parenting, a- and but you have to mentally change gears or suffer the consequences of the damage of that relationship. So, yeah, y- just i- if you could hit that again in terms of how a parent disengages from a teen parenting approach with a 20 something and h- how you really let go. This is their stuff now and you’ve done your job. And you have to look in a mirror and say, “Okay, I did, I did the best I could do.” Hopefully Focus provided some resources that helped you in that journey.
Kevin: Yeah.
Jim: But I mean, that part of it is done. How do you pull back the over influence that you might be demonstrating?
Kevin: So when Ella and Silas were born, what’s mine, what’s theirs, what’s God’s? Everything is either in the what’s mine category or the what’s God’s category. They had no ability whatsoever, nothing belonged to them.
Jim: That’s parenting a child.
Kevin: That, that’s, that’s an infant, right?
Jim: Right.
Kevin: Well about the time of two or three they start experiencing the power of their own choices. A- and so every day I have to take things out of the what’s mine column and put it into the what’s theirs Ella’s column, what’s Silas column. And the older they get, the more and more I need to be shifting over. A- and the image I get is, imagine driving down the road and you see a solid yellow line and a dotted yellow line. What does that mean? That means the car on one side can go over to the other lane, but the car on the other lane can’t come over this way. It’s not an equal relationship-
Jim: Does everybody know that rule?
Kevin: … as, as far as they-
Jim: (laughs)
John: (laughs)
Kevin: (laughs) No. Not in Colorado.
Jim: I know that rule, I don’t think others know that rule.
John: Not out in eastern Colorado. (laughs)
Kevin: I see that as parenting, right?
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: So, so Silas, now I, I get to swerve into his lane whenever I want to. He, he’s 15 about to be 16. I get that. There are times if he wants to swerve into my lane, I can say, “That’s not your business. This is, this is mine, that’s not, that’s not yours.” But a day is gonna come in which it’s gonna be a double yellow line between us. And I’m gonna have to hand over the full responsibility of his life to him. Right, Matthew 19, rich man comes to Jesus, said, “What must I do to be saved?” And Jesus says, “Follow the 10 Commandments.” The rich man said, “Done that.” Jesus, the text says, “Now knowing his heart-”
Jim: Right. (laughs)
Kevin: “… says, sell everything you own, give it to the poor and follow me.” And the man, dejected, leaves Jesus. You know what amazes me about that story?
Jim: Uh-huh.
Kevin: Jesus let him walk.
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: I would have chased him down. I’m a pastor.
Jim: “Did you hear what I said?”
John: (laughs)
Kevin: I know I would have chased him. “All right. Hey, that was hyperbole 100%. Don’t give up. What if you just sold 10% of what you had and gave it to the church, right? Let’s negotiate in some way.” I would have tried to manipulate the man into the decision that I wanted. Jesus, the Son of God allows that man to make his own decision, even the disaster that’s coming to it. He honors the humanity of that man. If Jesus does that with one of His children, aren’t we gonna have to do that with ours? What God does with your adult children ultimately is between God and them.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Kevin: Now, it doesn’t mean you’re helpless or hopeless. That’s, that’s the key of this, what’s theirs column. It, it’s not that we can’t do anything, but it is this idea of as we control less, it actually empowers us to influence more. It’s an amazing thing. I don’t know, John, I don’t know if you’ve ever had a boss that likes to-
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: … micromanage.
John: (laughs)
Kevin: I mean, hypothetically.
John: Certainly not the current boss.
Jim: Never. Never.
Kevin: But-
John: He doesn’t know ha- half of what I do.
Jim: (laughs)
Kevin: The, the more a boss empowers you and respects you, the more likely you are to turn to them for advice, to insight, the more they influence you.
John: Mm-hmm.
Kevin: But the more they try to micromanage you, the more frustrated you become.
Jim: Are you talking parenting or what?
Kevin: It’s, uh-
John: (laughs)
Kevin: (laughs)
Jim: (laughs) Sorry.
Kevin: The same thing is true of parenting.
Jim: (laughs) Yes.
Kevin: That as our kids grow, as soon as they are able to make a decision, we need to empower them to do that. And if we will recognize their humanity, it will actually make it more likely for them to turn to us to where we can actually influence. So the irony to me, especially in parenting and other places, whenever it comes to the what’s theirs column, we’re fixated on controlling it. And it causes us to lose all influence. Well, if we will give up control, that will actually increase our influence.
Jim: Well, that’s so good. Kevin, we got to cover what’s God’s, obviously, the last of the three lanes and, uh, describe what is God’s.
Kevin: Yeah. So there are, there are some things that, some stuff is just God stuff, right? A- and so you think about a diagnosis that comes in into your life you didn’t ask for, you didn’t control. And so in the end, listen, we stand on the foundation of God’s providence under the umbrella of His sovereignty. And we can trust Him wi- with things that we never would have asked for, right? I have a daughter with Down Syndrome. A- and so when, uh, when Ella was born, uh, the doctor came in, gave us the diagnosis, walked out and left. I walked over, looked at Jenny, and these were Jenny’s first words to me, having just delivered our first child, now hearing this diagnosis we didn’t expect. Jenny said, “Well, this is a road we never would have wanted to go down, but I bet you we never regret going down it.”
John: Yeah.
Jim: Well, that’s powerful.
Kevin: That is accepting what’s God’s. And then saying, “Okay. Now, what do we control? Let’s get with it.” And I, I think for so many of us so often what we do is we deny what’s ours, we try to control what’s theirs and we fight about what’s God’s.
Jim: Yeah.
Kevin: Instead of accepting God, “You know what’s best. I’m going to lean into what you’re doing in this moment. I’m gonna trust You and I’m going to accept what’s taking place.”
Jim: You know, Kevin when it’s in that what’s God’s category sometimes, uh, you know, Jesus spoke very bold truth. Sometimes He wasn’t very popular. And I don’t think He was in a popularity contest, obviously. He was here to speak truth and to love each one of us and to demonstrate love for God and to turn to us and give us that same challenge, right? Love the Lord your God with all your hea- heart, soul, and mind and love your neighbor as yourself. Those are the elements of what He put on display. The, the question becomes when you are trying to live that life, I mean, look at the culture and you speak truth in that way, hopefully lovingly, uh, you are not gonna be a popular person. How, how do we manage that emotionally? How do we, uh, make that decision that… This is true in marriage, true in parenting, and true in culture.
Kevin: Yeah. I’m the married life pastor in the capital of California. (laughs)
Jim: (laughs) Right.
John: (laughs) Yeah.
Kevin: What’s God’s? The definition of marriage. Not mine. I don’t get to vote. I don’t get to say. I don’t get to, I don’t get to influence.
Jim: You don’t get to edit.
Kevin: He created, He decided, I have to accept that. What’s mine? A- am I going to speak that truthfully? Am I going to lovingly try to persuade people, influence in, in that way? But if, if I try to start rewriting what marriage is, rewriting what gender is, rewriting what God has actually said, what I’m doing in that moment is I’m not accepting what is God’s, I’m trying to control what is God’s. A- and that’s a recipe for disaster.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Well, you think about that, that is hurtling toward chaos. When you s- when we’re messing, when humanity begins to mess with what’s God’s.
Kevin: Yeah.
Jim: And that is really true of a very clear example-
John: Yeah.
Jim: … of where we’re going to totally mess this up if we don’t pull back from trying to own what’s God’s and own what is ours.
Kevin: Well, it’s almost a guarantee. Here’s the thing. If, if you deny what’s yours, you try to control what’s theirs a- and you fight against what’s God’s, uh, I can, that is a perfect prescription o- of a way to worry more, to love less, a- and to get stuck.
Jim: Right. Get nothing done. (laughs)
Kevin: And yet, if you will recognize the CIA, what you control, what you influence, and you accept, you truly can worry less, love more, and get things done.
John: Well, Kevin Thompson on this Best of 2024 episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Uh, such good content. I trust you’ve discovered, uh, through the conversation, some ways that you can stay in your lane and have clear boundaries to protect your relationships.
Jim: You know, John, Kevin’s message is so applicable to every area of our lives. It’s simple and straightforward and you worry about what’s yours, let others worry about what’s theirs. That’s usually the toughest lane, right?
John: Mm-hmm. Very hard.
Jim: And then let God deal with the rest. And, uh, let me simply remind the listener, the viewer, Focus on the Family is here for you. We want to help your relationships be the best they can be. And that’s why we would run a program like this-
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … to help you.
John: Yeah. That’s why we’re here as a ministry for 47 years. Uh, we want to be able to offer resources to you to help your family thrive.
Jim: You know, John, it’s scary, I’ve been here 35 of those 47 years. (laughs)
John: That’s a long time.
Jim: How long have you been at Focus?
John: 33.
Jim: I mean, that’s amazing. And we’re committed to the mission. I think that’s why I’m here. It’s just been such a great run and Dr. Dobson laid a great foundation. And man, we taking it forward, which is-
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … what should happen. Uh, but we want to continue the work that we do together and we need your help to do it. Uh, this past year has been kind of stressful. There’s been a lot going on with the elections and everything else. And we realize some families are struggling for hope. And that’s such an important ingredient to a thriving family.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: And this Christmas season is the perfect time to share the hope of Jesus Christ. Uh, that’s what Christmas is about. And you can come alongside hurting families and give families hope through your support of Focus on the Family. And it’s so important. I don’t want to sound, you know, trite or just the way it goes. Folks, we do it together. The Lord sees you give out of what God has given you and we’re able to save a marriage, save a baby’s life from abortion, uh, help a parent do a better job parenting that child in the name of Christ. Uh, we get so many affirmations about the good work of Focus.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: And you could be part of it and I want you to be part of it. And I hope you can support us at this time of year. And when you give any amount today to the ministry of Focus on the Family, we will send you a copy of Kevin Thompson’s book, Stay In Your Lane, as our way of saying thank you.
John: Yeah. And right now, through a special matching gift opportunity, your year-end contribution will be doubled dollar for dollar, and God is going to use your financial support to Focus to bring healing and redemption to twice the families.
Jim: And, you know, John, just so people understand that, that’s probably a hundred, maybe about a hundred donors that we have talked to, to say, “Would you be willing to do this?” And they said, “Yeah, that’d be great, we’re willing to do that.” And we usually get three, four, five million to be that match. So God bless them for putting it forward, but just see it as a, as a fun way to raise money for the ministry.
John: Mm-hmm. Donate today and request your copy of the book, from Kevin Thompson, Stay In Your Lane when you call 800-A-FAMILY. That’s 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. Or online, you can donate and request the book at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. While you’re there, look for our Best of 2024 audio collection. It’s free. Sign up and you’ll receive access to an entire library of our best episodes from this past year, addressing marriage, parenting, and faith. And plan to join us tomorrow for another Best of 2024 program, British evangelist J.John will remind you of your true value as a son or daughter of God.
Rev. Canon J.John: Have you heard this, “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never harm me.” Has there ever been a greater untruth sung in the playground?
