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Dr. Steve Farrar: You know why you exist? Because God determined before the foundations of the world that you would exist. That’s why.
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John Fuller: Today we have a fascinating look at how to find meaning in life featuring the late Steve Farrar. Welcome to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller.
Jim Daly: You know, John, Steve Farrar had so much wisdom to share in his almost 50 years of ministry. And as I’ve said before, I am so grateful that much of that wisdom was recorded in some form or fashion. Today, Steve will explain how each one of us can embrace God’s purpose for our lives and live it out. And he’ll close his message with some great advice, specifically for teens and young adults. Let’s get to it.
John: Okay. Well, here’s Steve Farrar speaking at Oak Cliff Bible Fellowship in Dallas on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.
Dr. Farrar: Well, as we, uh, begin, I’d like to ask you a question. And it’s a very simple question, but it’s a profound question in some senses. The question is, why are you here? When I ask the question, why are you here, what I’m really asking you is, why do you exist? Why are you alive? Why are you walking the earth now and not 300 years ago or 300 years in the future?
Why are you alive? Why do you exist? Is that just the result of the Darwinian hypothesis of time and chance coming together and here you are? No. You’re here for a reason.
You’re here for a purpose. “Why am I here? Why do I exist?” is a question we ask throughout life. And in Psalm 139, David is gonna answer the question, “Why am I here?” The first 12 verses are about God. If you wanna know why you’re alive and why you exist, you don’t start with yourself. You start with God.
If you don’t start with God, you’ll never figure out why you’re on the Earth, you’ll never figure out your purpose, you’ll never figure out your meaning. So what does he say about God? Verse one, he says, “Oh Lord, you have searched me and known me.” You got me wired, you know everything about me. “You know when I sit down, you know when I rise up. You understand my thought from afar.”
He- he says, “You scrutinize my path and my lying down. You’re intimately acquainted with all my ways.” So all your little quirks, all your little idio- idiosyncrasies, so He knows all about them. And He’s still for you and He still loves you. He’s still on your team. He’s not against you. He, this is amazing, verse four, “Even before there was a word on my tongue, behold Lord, you know it all.” Every word you’ll ever utter for the rest of your life until the moment of you die- you die, God already knows what you’re gonna say and the intonation with which you will say it. He knows it now. He knows all things.
He goes on and he says, verse five, “You’ve enclosed me behind and before.” He says, “You’ve laid your hand on me. Such knowledge is too wonderful for me, it is too high. I cannot attain to it. Where can I go from your spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go to heaven, you’re there. If I make my bed in Sheol, behold you are there. If I take the wings of the dawn,” what’s the speed of light? 186,000 miles per second? That’s moving. And then in 13, he answers the question, “Why do I exist?” See, now you can deal with the question because you started with God. Verse 13, “You form my inward parts, you wove me in my mother’s womb. I’ll give thanks to you for I’m fearfully and wonderfully made, wonderful are your works, my soul knows it very well.” He’s not on an ego trip, he’s just saying, “God, you put me together.”
Uh, l- l-, you formed my inward parts, you wove me, you put me together. Let me ask you something. Why are you tall? Why are you short? Why are you white or Black or, uh, Hispanic or Asian? That’s all up to God, that’s all His doing. Wh- why are you good with people? Some of you have an unbelievable gift with people. You love people and they love you. Where’d you get that gift? When He formed you and fashioned you in your mother’s womb, He gave you that gift. He gave you gifts and He gave you skills. Why? Because He has a work for you to do.
There’s a purpose, there’s a reason you’re alive. Note the next verse here. He says, he’s still back when he was in the womb, asking the question, “Why am I alive? Why do I exist?” It’s the central question of life. Uh, “My frame, or my bones, were not hidden from you when I was made in secret and skillfully wrought in the depths of the earth.” Let me ask you a question. If your father had not have married your mother, would you be here? This is not a trick question.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: Ugh.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: Let’s say your father, uh, that cheerleader from that other high school, he had a crush on. You don’t know anything about this.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: But let’s say your father, when he was in high school, he had a crush on that cheerleader from that other school, let’s say he married her. Would you be here? No, you wouldn’t be here. But see, he didn’t marry her, he married your mother.
You say, “What do you mean I wouldn’t be here?” Well, for you to get here, it took a ps-, a particular sperm and it took a particular egg.
Congregation: Yeah.
Dr. Farrar: And that cheerleader didn’t have the egg.
Congregation: (Laughs). Yeah.
Dr. Farrar: Your mother had the egg. But he didn’t marry the cheerleader, he married your mother, here you are. We’re glad you’re here.
(Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: Have you ever thought about what it took to get you here? Have you? Do you realize that for thousands of years, God has been overseeing your family history? For thousands of years from day one? He’s watched it. He’s overseen everything. And if just once in that cycle, if just once in that multi-generational process, one sperm had to miss the right egg just one time, you would not be here, but you’re here by the predetermined plan of Almighty God. That’s why you’re here. That’s why you’re alive. That’s why you exist. That’s why you’re not a mistake. That’s why it’s not chance. It’s from Almighty God.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: There’s a reason you’re alive. You know why you exist? Because God determined before the foundations of the world that you would exist. That’s why. And if you don’t believe that, note the next section of the verse. “Your eyes have seen my unformed substance.” This is amazing. “And in your book, they were all written, the days that were ordained for me, when is yet there was not one of them.” Staggering statement. What this is saying is, the reason you exist is that God willed that you would exist and before the foundations of the world. And here’s why you’re here today, before the foundations of the world, He determined the moment of your conception, He determined the moment of your birth, He’s already determined the moment of your death. Did you know that? Hebrews says, “It is appointed for a man once to die.” The moment of your death has already been set.
Now, how else can I encourage you?
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: But that’s kind of encouraging. You know why it’s encouraging? You can’t die until the work that God has for you to do, you can’t die until it’s done. He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion in Christ Jesus.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: You can’t die. You cannot die until you’ve done the work that God has called you to do. They may rough you up. They may knock you around. They may talk about you behind your back, but you can’t die. They can’t kill you until your appointed time has come. So you can be bold and you can stand for Christ.
It’s amazing stuff. Now in Ephesians 2, the familiar words of 2:8, how is it that we exist spiritually? Well, you gotta be born again, Jesus said. Well, how does that happen? Well, Ephesians 2:8 simply says this, “For by grace,” and this is so familiar to us, “For by grace you’ve been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves, it’s the gift of God, not as a result of works that any man should boast.” You can’t do enough to earn salvation. “For by grace you’ve been saved, through faith, that not of yourselves, gift of God, not as a result of works.” When you say, “I- i-, that not of yourselves,” well, what does that mean, “That not of yourselves?” You can’t write enough checks to the Red Cross; you can’t do enough good works to be saved. You can’t save yourself. Jesus saves us. By dying on the Cross, His sacrifice paid for our sins.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: That’s why we celebrated communion. We remember what Jesus did. So we don’t save ourselves, He saved us. I can’t do that. So, uh, grace isn’t of myself, salvation isn’t of myself, for by grace you’ve been saved through faith. Is faith something we do or is faith a gift of God? It’s a gift of God. Well, you say, “Well, Steve, we gotta exercise faith.” Uh, that’s exactly right. And that’s how we come to know Christ. In faith, we ask Christ to come into our lives. But let me ask you something. Where did you get the faith to ask Him to come into your life? He gave it to you. See, none of it is of yourself, it’s all of Him.
Ephesians 2:1 is an interesting passage. A lot of people, a lot of Christians who believe the Bible, have really, uh, don’t believe Ephesians 2:1. So what do you mean? Well, it says, “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins.” Most Christians think that anybody can come to Christ at any time they want to. Many of you think that. That’s not what it says. It says, “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins.”
Imagine on a, maybe Sunday afternoon, you’re taking a ride out in the country, kind of nice to get away, two lane road, it’s just kind of calm and quiet and you’re driving out there and you’ll see an old church and a lot of times those old churches had cemeteries next to them. And you’re driving by this little country church and there’s a little curve and you’re making the curve. And as you’re looking there, you- you see the old cemetery and s- and suddenly you see a hand come right out of the ground.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: And you say to your husband, “Hey, s- slow- slow down here.”
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: And- and- and then he s-, he- he, you pull off to the side. And then you see another hand break through the sod and then- and then you see a- a head come burrowing up.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: And there’s some activity and there’s, and it’s- it’s an elbow, and another elbow. And this guy- this guy in this dark suit, it’s kind of frayed because he’s been down there a while, this guy pulls himself up out of the grave. He’s got dirt clods all over him, he’s kind of cleaning himself off. And- and he looks over and he sees you parked there, he goes, “Hey, can I get a ride into town?”
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: Now that is absolutely ludicrous. Why is that ludicrous? I’ll tell you why it’s ludicrous. Dead men can’t will to become alive. “You know, I’ve been dead 17 years, I’m getting sick and tired of it. I think I’ll go into town and get a cappuccino.”
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: You don’t do that. Dead men can’t change their condition. This says, “And you were dead in your trespasses and sins.”
Congregation: Yes, yes.
Dr. Farrar: Do you know why you know Christ? Do you know why you asked Christ to come into your life? Because He made you alive.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: He did for you what He did for Lazarus. He ma-, He resurrected you. So- so let’s get this straight. Why are we here? Why are we here? Wh- why- why do I exist? Well, God gave you physical existence, He made you, He created you, gave you gifts, gave you abilities.
And by the way, let me say something to you. Those gifts and abilities that God gave you in your mother’s womb, He designed those in your life. He gave those to you because that’s going to help you accomplish the work that He has for you to do. You need to pay attention to those gifts. You need to pay attention to those interests. Some of the angriest men I meet are men that are not working in an area of God-given strength.
They’re working in an area of weakness. They don’t have an aptitude in that area, they don’t have a strength in that area, so they hate to go to work. And when they’re at work, they watch the clock and they’re bored and they can’t wait to get home. And then they get home, they’re miserable because they gotta get up in the morning and go back. There’s no motivation. They’re not good at it. What do you love to do? What are you interested in? You love to work with little kids, then work with little kids. You wanna be an architect? You wanna- be an architect. Are you good with languages and you good in other cultures? Great, God will use you over there.
You- you see, but He’s hard-wired us and you pay attention to that. You don’t ignore that. And- and when you’re in an area and you’re working in an area of God-given strength that He put in you when you were in your mother’s womb and you’re an adult, you can’t believe you get to go to work. You can’t believe they’re paying you. You can’t, you just can’t believe it because you’re loving it and you’re good at it because that’s what He intended you to do from the very beginning.
You say, “Well, do- I might have to go back to school.” Then go back to school. “I might have to go to school at night.” Go to school at night.
John: You’re listening to the late Steve Farrar on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, and young adults in particular are gonna want to get a copy of this book. It’s called How to Ruin Your Life by 30. What a great title. We’re gonna send that to you for a donation of any amount today to the ministry of Focus on the Family, and we’re going to include a free audio download of Steve’s entire presentation. It’s got quite a bit of extra content. Donate today and request those at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. Let’s return now to more from Steve Farrar.
Dr. Farrar: Let’s wrap this up. He formed you, He created you, He gave you gifts, He gave you abilities in your mother’s womb, and then at some point, He brought you to Christ. So He gave you physical existence, then He saved you and gave you spiritual life, and you’re saved, and that’s it. No. ‘Cause see, there’s verse 10. And we gotta pick up eight, nine, and 10 to get the context. “For by grace you’ve been saved, through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God, not as a result of works that any man should boast for.” You see that connector? “For we are his workmanship, created,” now catch this, “Created in Christ Jesus for good works.” Not good works to be saved, you’re already saved. “Created in Christ Jesus for good works,” this is amazing, “Which God prepared beforehand.” Before you were ever born. See, that’s the work that He has for you to do, that you might walk in them.
You see, God really does have a purpose and a plan for your life. You’re not a mistake, you’re not an accident, you’re not here by chance. It’s not coincidence. The sovereign hand of God is over your life and He’s leading you, and you say, “Well, Steve, not everything’s going my way,” because that’s part of the process of maturing, you’re in Christ.
“Well, I’m having hardship, I’m having difficulty.” You know, well, tha-, okay, that’s- that’s okay. That’s normal in the Christian life. It has been granted to you. Uh, Philippians 1:29 says, “It has been granted to you, not only to believe in Christ, but to suffer for His sake.” “Well, I don’t wanna suffer.” Well, guess what? You’re gonna suffer.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: “Well, I don’t wanna take that class.” Oh, you’ve already been signed up for that class.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: And it’s too late to drop it.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: Acts 14:22, “Through many tribulations, we must enter the kingdom of God.” Not some, not a few, many. That’s why you’ve got many. “Well, I don’t like this.” Well, join the club.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: But see, He’s gonna use you. And if He’s gonna use you, you’re gonna have some pain in your life, because if you’ve never had pain and you’ve never suffered, and if you’ve never suffered, you’ve got nothing to say to anybody.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: And you can’t help ’em. So that’s why you’re going through some hard things, but He’ll get you through it. He’ll take you through it. You see? Hey, there’s a sign in every weight room in America, “No pain-”
Congregation: “No gain” (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: And that’s true in the Christian life. Now think about this. He’s got a work for you. He’s given you physical life. He brought you to Christ. He gave you a spiritual life. Why? Well, you’re His workmanship. You don’t need to be like her, and you don’t need to be like him. You see? Different gifts, different abilities. There are no little people, there are no little places, Francis Schaeffer used to say, but He’s got a work for you to do. Now, some of us over 40 wish we had paid attention 20 years ago to some good advice we got some, from older folks. But we didn’t, we had to learn the hard way.
A couple of years ago, I did a- I did a little book called How to Ruin Your Life by 30. And I was speaking for a week in chapel service, and the kids all had to be there, and they didn’t wanna be there at the first one. And half of them are bored and they’re not paying attention.
So I got up and I said. The first chapel service, I s- said, “Some- some of you are 18, some of you are 22. The average age in here is 20. The first 20 years of your life, your parents have made the significant decisions for you. Now, the next 20 years, you’re making the significant decisions, all of them. So I wanna, what I wanna talk to you about this week is how you can ruin your life and be utterly, u- utterly miserable by the time you’re 30. I wanna talk to you about how you can get venereal disease. I wanna talk to you about how you can get divorced and remarried. I wanna talk to you about, uh, how you can become financially destitute. I wanna talk about how you can utterly ruin your life in the next 20 years.”
Suddenly they’re looking up. “And all you have to do is ignore God’s wisdom.” That’s all you have to do. Because He’s given you everything you need, but if you wanna go your own way, you can go your own way.
Let me finish up by talking to the young people. Let me start with the guys. God’s got a plan for your life. Let me tell you something. Let me tell you something this culture needs. This culture needs some godly men.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: That’s what it needs. A godly man can turn a culture. You say, “Well, I’m just a young guy.” God loves young guys. And here’s what you do. You give your life to Christ; you give your whole heart to Christ. You follow Him. You know that verse, “Seek ye third the kingdom of God?”
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: (Laughs). “Seek ye,” what?
Congregation: “First.”
Dr. Farrar: “First.” You put Christ first in your life. You put Him first. And you know what He’ll do? He’ll bless your life. He’ll bless your life. And then I’ll tell you what else you do. You start looking for a woman to marry. To marry. You’re looking for a wife. You’re not looking for a Barbie doll.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: You’re looking for a woman to go through life with, who’ll stand with you. Who’s got some grit, who’s got some guts, because it’s tough. You need a strong woma-. So start looking for that kind of woman. “So I- I got a girlfriend.” Great. Good. How’s her character? Her what? Her character.
Congregation: Right. (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: By the way, how’s your character, man?
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: I meet all these guys, these young guys, you know, strutting around, “Man, I can bench press 575 pounds.”
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: Well, pin a rose on your nose.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: Hey, let me ask you something. How much can you bench press with your character? Can you fight off sexual temptation on the television in a lonely hotel room? Huh? Don’t tell me how much you can bench press if you can’t touch a remote, if you don’t have the power of Christ to change that remote.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: You know what I’m talking about? That’s what you need to be working on. And you’re honest. You don’t lie on your resume. Say, “Well, they won’t hire me.” Let me tell you something, you don’t lie on your resume. “Well, I didn’t do well in college.” Tell them you didn’t do well in college, say, “I was an idiot in college.” The guy hiring you was probably an idiot in college; he’ll appreciate your honesty.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: But let me tell you something, don’t lie. You say, “Well, I won’t get the job.” Let me tell you something, the Lord Jesus will get you a job-
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: … If you’re a man of integrity. By the way, you and your girlfriend, keep your hands off her. You’re not married to her. She’s not yours. You wanna be a man of God, you want God to bless your life? Then you seek sexual purity. You say, “Well, we haven’t done that.” Well, then you start today, you’re gonna follow Christ.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: This is the will of God that you abstain from sexual immorality. You don’t excuse it; you don’t rationalize it. “Well, what do you mean? Um…” That’s what I mean.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: You say, “That’s hard.” You bet it’s hard.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: And by the way, let me say something to you young ladies. Don’t you act cheap.
Congregation: No. (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: And I’ll tell you something else. Don’t you dress cheap.
Congregation: Yeah. (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: Some of you ladies need to cover up.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: I- I’ll tell you what, I’m in churches-
Congregation: (Cheering).
Dr. Farrar: … I’m in churches all over America. I’m in churches all over America and I am stunned at the women I see walking in and how they’re dressed. And- and it’s all they can do to keep themselves from falling out, if you get my drift. Don’t do that. You don’t need to dress like that.
Number one, let me tell you something. If you know what that does to men, why would you dress like that?
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: Secondly, if you don’t know what that does to men, you need to know. It doesn’t help them. You love Christ? Let me tell you, you love Jesus? Then don’t you act cheap because let me tell you something, you’re not cheap, you’re valuable. He bought you with a price.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: Therefore, you glorify God in your body. And you- and you say, “Well- well, I- I- I can’t find any guys and if I don’t dress…” No, no, you know what? You dress stylishly and modestly. And let me tell you something. You say, “Well, there aren’t any guys.” Yeah, let- let me tell you something, you only need one guy. So you honor Christ, you follow Christ, and you trust the Lord. At the right time, then you find that guy, the two of you- you get married, then you have a bunch of kids, then you get all stressed out and you get pains in your chest, it’s great.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: And you raise those kids and you’re trying to make ends meet and, uh… Oh, it’s great.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: And you love each other and you show your kids how to have a good marriage and you go through, b-, uh, w- what’s does the marriage vows say? Better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness and in health? ‘Cause see, when you’re young, you think it’s always gonna be better. But guess what? It’s gonna get bad. It’s gonna get worse. It’ll be good, then it’s worse, then it’s b-, good again, it’s worse. It’s rich and it’s poor, it’s sickness, it’s health. See, when you’re young, you don’t even know you can get sick. You’ve never been sick. See, you get old, sickness is an issue. I mean, you get old, you get my age, you start breaking down. I got on an escalator the other day and I pulled a hamstring.
Congregation: (Laughs).
Dr. Farrar: It’s sad. Just breaking down. And you get, hey, you get married and catch this, and you stay married-
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: For life. You don’t have to be famous; you don’t have to make a lot of money. You just love Christ. You work hard. You love your family. You say, “I’m not making a difference.” You’re making a huge difference.
Congregation: (Clapping).
Dr. Farrar: And He’s using you. He’s got a plan. He knows what He’s doing. Let’s trust Him. Let’s listen to Him.
John: Such great advice from the late Steve Farrar on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly.
Jim: John man, we’re running out of time here. So let me just say that if you’re thinking about a young adult who needs Steve’s wisdom, he’s written a great book called How to Ruin Your Life by 30: Nine Surprisingly Everyday Mistakes You Might Be Making Right Now. Uh, Steve combines humor and biblical truth to help young adults focus on God’s will for their lives and how to live it out. Get the book from us here at Focus on the Family. And for a donation of any amount, uh, we’ll include a free audio download of Steve’s entire message with quite a bit of extra content. You won’t get that from any other online bookseller.
Let me also remind you that we have caring Christian counselors here who would be happy to listen to your concerns, uh, f- for yourself or for a child or grandchild and help you find a like-minded counselor in your area if that is needed. That’s a free service that we provide thanks to donors just like you. So get in touch with us today.
John: Yeah, and our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY, to request a counseling callback. Of course, you can, uh, get your copy of How to Ruin Your Life by 30 and donate, uh, when you call that number or online. We’re at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
And thanks for listening today to Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.
