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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Fathers: Having an Impact on Your Daughter’s Life (Part 1 of 2)

Fathers: Having an Impact on Your Daughter’s Life (Part 1 of 2)

Psychologist Dr. Kevin Leman shares valuable parenting lessons with personal stories and humor as he discusses the indelible imprint a father has on his daughter's life. (Part 1 of 2)

Opening:

Teaser:

Jim Daly: Dr. Leman, you have one son and four daughters. What’s been the biggest surprise in parenting them?

Kevin Leman: Well, I mean, I love my daughters. I mean, they’re wonderful, but they’re awful weird. (Laughter)

Jim: There’s a place to start.

Kevin: I mean, it doesn’t take long for drama to come into their life. They are so different; I think that’s probably what hit me the most. They are so much more different than young men are.

End of Teaser

John Fuller: Well, there’s a stark difference between boys and girls and parenting them requires some special wisdom. We’ll hear more from Dr. Leman about how you can really make a difference in the life, particularly of your daughter as a dad.

This is “Focus on the Family” with Focus president and author, Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller and Jim, we welcome a good friend back to the studio. He always has energy and insight and we’ve invited some friends to join us in the studio to listen along and maybe ask some questions along the way, too.

Body:

Jim: We have. It’s gonna be fun today. It’s always great, as you said, John, to have Dr. Leman in the studio. It puts a smile on my face. Kevin, let me say to both you and John, actually, you both have daughters. I don’t. So, when you talk about it being weird, I think having boys is kinda weird, too. Is that natural?

Kevin: Well, kids are kids. (Laughter) I mean, kids say dumb things, do stupid things, okay? Now if anybody is offended by that, call your insurance agent (Laughter) and ask them why you pay so much money for your 16- or 17-year-old son or daughter to drive the car. And they’ll say something to the effect of, “Well, Leman, you pay the big bucks because they do stupid dumb things.”

Jim: That’s it.

Kevin: So, God gave us parents. We are the guide. You know, if you’ve ever gone rafting in the rapids—

Jim: Yes.

Kevin: –you made it through the rapids because you had a guide. And I think parenting is like that, whether you’re talking about boys or girls. But girls need a good dose of masculinity. And it’s sort of like making a cake. And if you leave out one major ingredient, the cake is gonna fall flat.

Jim: Well, let me ask you though. You know, in your book you talk about coaching your daughter’s basketball team. What was that like?

Kevin: Well, it was at my daughter’s school and I coached the seventh-eighth-grade girls’ basketball team.

Jim: (Laughing)

Kevin: And now …

Jim: Why did you do that?

John: What a good father.

Kevin: I am a former athlete. I want to go on record (Laughter) in saying that. This body, believe it or not, is the body of a former athlete. The Yankees offered me $60,000 to sign out of high school–

Jim: Wow.

Kevin: –for a contract, but I didn’t have that much money.

Jim: That was good money in those days. (Laughter)

John: You didn’t have that much money. (Laughter)

Kevin: But anyway, I digress. I was coaching and it was time out, okay? And my center comes in to me with tears in her eyes and she’s a tall, skinny great kid and she says to me, “Number 22 scratched me.” (Laughter) Well, I looked at her. I mean, I’m a man. I looked at her. I said, “What am I, your mother?” (Laughter) Well, apparently, that was the wrong thing to say, because she bolted in tears to the locker room.

Jim: During the game.

Kevin: Oh, yeah, during a time out. But this is the best part. Of the five kids that were playing, three of ’em understood the game of basketball. The other two were out there just ’cause you had to have five people, you know what I’m sayin’?

Jim: (Laughing) Yeah.

Kevin: But when she bolted, the other two players bolted with her to give her comfort.

Jim: Yeah.

Kevin: So, I’m sittin’ there with two kids that don’t know a hockey stick from a basketball. The ref comes over to my face; said, “Leman, “hey!.” He blows the whistle. “Get your team out there.” It was crazy. It was such a great learning point in my life, because I learned that you cannot talk to a young girl like you can to a young son. They are different. And women are the relational wonders of the world. So, these young little girls grow up to be what? Adult womenand there certainly is some similarities between young kids and older women. They hug anything that moves. They’re relational.

Jim: They are and Dr. Leman, there’s been so much more research coming out now about the importance of dads. Your book, Be the Dad She Needs You to Be, I think is timely obviously. It was a while ago that it came out, but that theme of the dad’s importance in families is so critical today. I wrote The Good Dad, because dads have a significant role to play and I think we’ve rightfully lifted up mom and over the last 30, 40 years and the importance of mom. But dad’s been kind of during those decades pushed to the side. But now his importance is resurfacing. You touched on it, but why are dads so critical to the development of daughters and boys?

Kevin: Wow. Again, it goes back to this basic point, that every young woman needs a good dose of masculinity in her life, as does every young man, need a good dose of femininity in his life. And you’re right, Jim. Every piece of research you look at says, so goes dad, so goes the family.

Jim: Now dads are gonna use that both negatively and positively. Describe both. What is a good dad? What is that good dad doing that’s positive, that he’s succeeding at? And where is room for improvement, where the dad may not be doing it too well. Give us examples of both.

Kevin: Well, I think if you’re an engaged dad, you have an interest in what your daughters are doing, okay? And you engage your daughter in conversation. Again, they’re wordsmiths. Most of us as men are not wordsmiths.

Jim: Uh-hm.

Kevin: So, you have to have open conversations with kids, like “Tell me more about that.” You know, I’m on record as saying, just in general when you look at parenting, “Don’t ask your kids questions.” And that’s like asking a fire not to burn for women.

Jim: What would a question be like that we shouldn’t ask?

Kevin: Well, a questions is, “How was your day at school, honey?” Well, I want to give the answer, “Fine.” “What did you do in school today?” “Nothin’.” Teenager, “Where you been?” “Out.” “What’d you do?” “Nothin’.” I mean, you might as well spit in the wind.

Jim: How should you ask or talk to your teenager?

Kevin: No. 1, don’t hit ’em with a question. And people say, well, Leman, if I did that, they wouldn’t talk. They’ll talk, because you know what? They want your approval. They really do and that’s one point that parents miss, is you just sorta wait. [The] kid says something, you say, “That’s interesting; tell me more about that.”

Jim: Hm. For dads to measure whether or not they’re engaging their daughters particularly, but this works again, for sons. You’ve got a little question sheet, which we can post, John. But you pose a few questions, which I think I could answer most of ’em.

Kevin: Well, is that the one where I ask—

Jim: I’ll—

Kevin: –about—

Jim: –yeah.

Kevin: — would you know the name of the pediatrician?

Jim: I told John the only reason I know that is ’cause I went last week with the kids. (Laughter)

Kevin: Well, read that list.

Jim: Yeah.

Kevin: I …

Jim: Yeah, I’m gonna do it. So, these’d be some of the questions. Let’s hit it, John. Let’s see how you do.

John: Oh, no.

Jim: Who is your daughter’s homeroom teacher?

John: She’s in high school. I have no clue where her homeroom is.

Jim: Name one teacher.

John: Mr. Berry–

Jim: Okay, you passed.

John: –last year.

Jim: What’s her toughest (Laughter) subject?

John: Toughest subject, math.

Jim: Hold it. Mr. Berry was last year’s teacher?

John: Yeah, minor detail. (Laughter) I know one of the teachers.

Jim: Well, that’s called cheating.

John: No.

Jim: Well, what about this year?

John: I don’t know. (Laughter)

Jim: What did she wear yesterday?

John: She wore a hoodie and jeans. She wears skinny jeans a lot.

Jim: Okay. I think everybody at that age wears skinny jeans.

John: The fun part here is she …

Jim: Kevin, you and I are not wearin’ those. (Laughter)

John: I might not be telling the truth on any of this, by the way.

Jim: Oh, you better.

John: No, I …

Jim: Okay, here’s another one. Who is her best friend?

John: That would be Claudia.

Jim: Her latest crush?

John: She has none.

Jim: Okay. What does her bedroom smell like? Boy, don’t ask that about teenage boys. (Laughter)

John: She has a hedgehog, so it smells a little bit like a hedgehog in there.

Jim: Okay, that sounds a little—

John: I take a breath.

Jim: –a living hedgehog?

John: Yeah, it’s a pet–

Jim: Is that in—

John: –in a cage.

Jim: –your HOA? Can you do that?

John: Yeah, there’s none.

Jim: I think that’s outside our HOA. (Laughter) What’s her absolute favorite food?

John: Food? Potatoes–

Jim: Okay.

John: –breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Jim: What’s her pediatrician’s name? (Laughing)

John: She does not have a pediatrician. (Laughing)

Jim: She could; she’s a teenager.

John: You know, my kids don’t go—

Jim: Yeah, that’s—

John: to the doctor.

Jim: –you’re deflecting the question.

John: I know.

Jim: That’s the point.

John: Uh …

Jim: What are you trying to say there, Dr. Leman?

Kevin: Well, I’m just telling you, it’s really easy for us to go about our business and part of the problem today in rearing kids is, our plates are full, okay? About 79 percent of families with kids under the age of 18, both mom and dad are working outside of the home. So, mom is bringing home the bacon, but she’s also frying it. So, everybody’s stressed to the max, okay. Time and activities pull people apart. And so, it’s physically hard to keep engaged in your kids’ lives unless you spend time with your kids.

Now again, I go back to daddy-daughter. These kids, when they want to talk, they’re gonna talk. I remember literally telling one of my daughters, “Honey, all right, listen. I gotta go to bed,” because they’re gonna talk when they want to talk and sometimes it’s 10 o’clock at night. I’m one of those guys that go to bed early. And we must’ve talked for 45 minutes and we’re just sitting on the edge of the bed. And it’s great, but you gotta listen to ’em, okay. Listen to ’em.

And what men love to do is tell women what to do. There’s not a woman on this earth that wants to be told what to do by her husband, okay. And little girls are no different. You have to embrace them, embrace their femininity. I mean, I bought my daughter a training bra. You oughta go through that experience some day. (Laughter)

Kevin: So, I said to my daughter; I said, “Hey, I found a really nice one here. It’s orange and got white dots on it.” “Dad, dad.” (Laughter) And you know what? One of the things the Lemans did though, I mean, we had fun. We had fun. I remember one of our daughters took liberty once and she called us “stupid,” okay. She was in seventh grade.

Jim: Uh-hm.

Kevin: I remember the day.

Jim: That’s about the age—

Kevin: Yeah.

Jim: –it happens.

Kevin: We were stupid. Well, it just so happened that, that very week was when parents visited the classrooms. And the kids had to introduce their parents. Now with God as my judge and some people will cringe when they hear this, but let me tell you what Sande and Kevin Leman did. When our daughter introduced us to her seventh-grade class, we held hands and we dipped our knees to a little tune we invented called “We are Holly Leman’s stupid parents; we are Holly Leman’s stupid parents.” (Laughter) That’s how we introduced ourselves.

Jim: Did you watch Holly’s face?

Kevin: I can tell you that Holly today is a principal, was an English major in college, graduated with honors, married to Dean. And she respects and loves her parents very much. But there was a time when she needed a little taste of what I call “reality discipline.” And I think what parents need to understand is, there’s times where I call it “parental poker.”

Jim: Parental–

Kevin: Yeah.

Jim: –poker.

Kevin: And we do have four aces. We are the authority in the home. Your daughter, dad, wouldn’t have underwear on today if you didn’t buy it, so who’s kiddin’ who? You have all the gold in your back pocket. So, my point is, there’s times where you do a little push back, that God didn’t put me on this earth to be run over by you.

Jim: Now the question is though, where’s that line of reasonableness? And where’s that line in terms of the Christian faith? I mean—

Kevin: Well.

Jim: –can we go too far in shaming our child?

Kevin: Sure you can, absolutely. That’s why I said some people’ll cringe. They’ll say, “Oh, my goodness. You are gonna damage that kid’s psyche for life.” And that’s why I told you, you know, Holly is a principal of a very tough school in Tucson, Arizona. And we are so proud of her and her wonderful husband, Dean.

But you know, kids need to be held accountable. And here’s a thing for dad to understand. You represent Almighty God in the truest sense of the word. So, the question is, are you an authoritarian father? “Hey, you listen up. You’re gonna do what I tell you to do. Hey, don’t make me come over there. Hey, you want somethin’ to cry about, I’ll give you somethin’ to cry about.” I mean, how many of us grew up with that? A lot of us, because all of our means of rearing kids today is premised on authoritarian methodologies.

Okay, now here’s the key question. Is God an authoritarian? Now here’s a brave statement. There’s only one way to rear a child today. Now when you paint yourself in that corner, Leman, you better have a pretty good comeback here when you say there’s only one way. And I said there’s only one way, because the authoritative parent—not the authoritarian—the one that stands in healthy authority; and that’s what Saint Paul tried to teach us in Ephesians 6, versus the laissez faire permissive parent. You know, “It’s 8 o’clock. Have you chosen to go to bed yet?”

Jim: (Chuckling) Right.

Kevin: Those parents are a dime a dozen. But in between there we find the authoritative parent and that’s why I say that if you’re gonna train up a child, okay, you train them up being an authority. I think most of us train children down. We don’t train children up. And I think you have to understand, these kids are all gonna grow in different directions. And I’m the guy that wrote The Birth Order Book. The firstborn goes this way, second born goes this way. I mean, does God treat us differently? Yes, He does. He made us all different. And so, that’s part of the mix that has to happen, I think in a healthy family.

John: Well, there’s a lot to chew on already in our short time in the studio with Dr. Kevin Leman so far. We have much more and if for whatever reason, you can’t stay with us, you’ll find a CD or download at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio. Or you can give us a call and ask us about that. The book that we’re covering today is Be the Dad She Needs You to Be. And when you make a gift of any amount to Focus on the Family today, we’ll send that to you as our way of saying thank you and as way to get some practical tools and some great insights into your hands. And you might know somebody that could benefit from this book. If it’s not you, if like Jim, you don’t have daughters, but you know somebody who does, get a copy of this and put it in their hands.

Jim: That’s a good idea, John. Hey, Dr. Leman, you ended there as John was describing your book, talking about personalities. Let’s dig into that for a minute, ’cause a lot of people are intrigued by that. Your daughters for example, just give us a description, firstborn, second born. How did they play out in your family? And how does that apply to my family?

Kevin: They must have all read The Birth Order Book, because they played it out pretty well. (Laughter) The firstborn, Holly was the English major, reading at age 3, even a little bit before 3 she was reading, loved words, loved school, read books voraciously.

Krissy could read people and she loved reading people. And she’s a social being, if there ever was one. And notice her name “Krissy.” Her name is Kristen. The only person that ever called her “Kristen” was a motorcycle cop one evening. (Laughter) And they’re completely different.

One son in the middle, Kevin, okay, who is functionally not a middle child, even though he’s in the middle of four girls, he’s a firstborn son, okay? And he has the calmness of his father. Things roll off him really easy, but he’s a detail person. He’s a writer. And then I have Hannah [who] was our little surprise. She’s the baby of the family.

Jim: Now you had her, I think …

Kevin: At age 42.

Jim: (Laughing)

Kevin: I was 44; Sande was 42. And we were so delighted, but that’s a kid that … I mean, I shouldn’t say. I prayed hard for that kid. I remember droppin’ her off at school one day, 10-years-old. And she’s walkin’ away from the car and her flute flies out of her backpack and she still keeps walkin’. (Laughter) And then a book fell out and another book and I thought, does she not hear? Is she impaired? And she kept walkin’. I remember extending my hand out to her like this was yesterday. I said, “Lord, keep Your hand on Hannah.”

And yet, Hannah today is creative director of Children’s Hope Chest, socially active. She’s … she does just a great job and her husband’s off to med school now, but she was our surprise.She’s the baby of the family.

Jim: Does she act like baby—

Kevin: Oh, yeah.

Jim: –or act like a firstborn?

Kevin: Oh, yeah, she could sell dead rats for a living, but (Laughter) looking back, she was manipulative, social, outgoing, never met a stranger. I mean, sugar wouldn’t melt in her mouth. I mean, she was just as sweet as they come. And she was a surprise.

Then we had the shocker at 48 and she’s like an only child, little Lauren. She’s got her own business today. She did an internship at Dream Works. She’s a senior over at a college in L.A. area. Very talented, gifted, but she’s like an only child, because there’s the big gap. So, she was a little adult by age 7.

Jim: Oh.

Kevin: And so, when you talk about birth order and personality differences, just realize that all these cubs came out of the same den and they’re all very different. And as a parent, you have to learn that God has given each of these kids a different gift and you need to be there and have their back on it.

Jim: Getting it back to dads though, how does a dad get to know each daughter? I mean, you had four daughters. How do you do that? How do you personalize your fatherhood? Because in this pressed era that we live in with all the time constraints that you talked about, a dad, in your case, having to come up with four recipes, if we can refer to it that way.

Kevin: Well, you know, we always ate dinner together, you know. We took time and I made time. The Lemans were never a part of the social scene. We didn’t get into kids’ activities. You know, we had one rule—one activity per kid per semester and that was it. So, we weren’t marshaling kids around.

And we had fun. And I just mentioned Hannah. The University of Arizona won the national championship in basketball back in ’97. And Hannah was then I think about 8 or 10 years of age. And we were gonna go down and meet the team at the McKale Center when they came in. But their plane was delayed and she had school the next day.

And so, Mrs. Uppington pronounced that would be my wife, Sandra, she pronounced that school night now, we won’t be able to go down there. Well, good old dad, the rule breaker, I woke her up at about quarter to 12. I said, “Hannah, wake up. Get your clothes on. We’re goin’ down to McKale.” And boy, her eyes got big; woke her right out of a sound sleep. And she and daddy went down and we’re down there at 12:30 in the morning when the team came in.

And the next day at school, yeah she was draggin’, but she was tellin’ all her buddies about, “Guess what? My daddy woke me up and we went down and we saw the team.” I mean, I am very close to all my daughters. And they call me all the time. We talk all the time. We cry a lot. I’m sort of a mushy dad in a lot of waysand you know, I think you make those moments with your kids and you make those judgment calls.

And people always came before things. And I have so many Father’s Day little notes from my kids saying, “Dad, thanks for teaching me that people are more important than things.” So, it’s all about the relationship.

Jim: Hey, you know, so often we talk about it. In marriage we talk about different people coming together. And that’s so common. It’s very rare that similar people end up getting married—

Kevin: Right.

Jim: –because you’re attracted to—

Kevin: Right.

Jim: –those differences—introvert, extrovert—

Kevin: Yeah.

Jim: –etcetera. When it comes to you and Sande, your wife, you’re that mushy dad, that authoritative father. What about the couple where one is authoritarian, one is authoritative and that’s part of the struggle that they’re having in the childrearing, where one of the parents, either mom or dad, depends on their personality bent, is all about the rules, the task list. And the kids figure this out and that could put a lot of stress in marriage, because you parent differently.

Kevin: Well, when two people marry, at least six people just got married. Well, where am I getting’ the six from? Well, you marry your in-laws. And whatever happened in that family, either good or bad is now part of that marriage. And you’re right. If one’s an authoritarian and one is, let’s say permissive, there you’ve got the two extremes, the kids get angry because you’re not on the same page. The kids see that.

And they will try to drive a wedge between you as a way of showing their displeasure. So, there’s your argumentative powerful child. If you have an authoritarian parent in the home, I guarantee you, you’ve got a powerful child in your home. This is a kid who’s gotta win every argument.

I wrote a book called Parenting Your Powerful Child. And I make the point that the power didn’t come out of thin air. The kid learns it. So, a kid will really arch their back psychologically and say, I’m not gonna accept this, because I’m angry, ’cause you two are not on the same page.

So, husband or wife behind closed door, if you have differences, iron them out, but be a united front in front of the kids. And if you’re in a blended family, I mean, my goodness, it takes three to seven years for a blended family to blend. And they actually don’t blend, they collide, would be a better word. You have to be shoulder to shoulder.

So, again, being consistent, being even a little mundane, being predictable. When there’s predictable things in families, kids thrive on predictability. The No. 1 fear of kids today in America is not nuclear holocaust, it’s mom and dad’ll get a divorce.

Closing:

Jim: Well, and Kevin, I think the reason for that is, it is the holocaust to them and their family. When the divorce happens, kids don’t know what to think. There is no predictability in that. What does it mean for me? All those questions that begin to rob you of your childhood. And those are great points.

And of course, these principles are timeless and applicable to almost every situation and we want to encourage you to get a copy of Dr. Leman’s book, Be the Dad She Needs You to Be. And John, I think we need to provide this as a way of saying thank you for those of you who can help us financially and it’d be a pleasure for us to do that and thank you in advance for your support.

John: Yeah and you can donate at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio or when you call 800-232-6459.

And when you’re online, be sure to check our Dad Matters blog, which has a number of articles about ways that you can invest in your child’s live.

Jim: John, also, I wrapped up a bit early today because I wanted to get at least one question in from the audience today and hopefully, we’ll have more time for Q&A with Dr. Leman next time, but if you could step to the mic, give us your name and where you’re from and then your questions.

Paul: Yeah, hi, there. I’m Paul from Toronto, Ontario, Canada. You said earlier on about not asking your daughter actual questions at certain times. How do you then get them to talk? I mean, if they don’t want to talk right away, that’s one thing I try. I do ask some questions and I get the, “Yeah,” and “Uh-huh,” and my daughter’s in her early 20s and so (Laughing), that’s tough even then. So, how do you actually get them to talk?

Kevin: Well, let me give you a few little things that I try to teach parents to almost memorize some of these little statements. They’re statements that invite conversation without asking a question. No. 1, “Tell me more about that.” “If anybody can figure it out, you can.” “That’s an interesting idea you’ve got there.” “Hey, can I ask your opinion about something?” “Sure, I’m open to that.”

So, when kids say things, just coming back with a statement that invites conversation is what you want. Sometimes you see an expression on a kid’s face, where you know it’s been a rough day. And uh … you can say something like, “Wow, looks like it’s been a rough day.” Now your kid, depending on their age, may not say a word. But they might come back two hours later and want to talk to you about something.

What you don’t want to do is do the Q & A, ’cause kids, I’m tellin’ ya, they throw us a piece of fish like you would to a seal just to shut us up. Nobody wants to be queried, okay. And as a sidebar, I see your wife is sitting right next to you. There is not a man on this earth that appreciates the “why” word, okay? And as men generally, we don’t like questions.

So, anything that just says, “Hey, I’m open to that. That sounds interesting; tell me more,” any kind of an invitation for conversation is where I’d go with that.

Jim: Would it be the same if you were to say, “Tell me about school?” versus “Tell me about your day?” I don’t know if there’s—

Kevin: No.

Jim: –a distinction there.

Kevin: That … no.

Jim: How do you start the conversation?

Kevin: So … no, I see … that’s the problem. The problem is, that we always feel like we have to start the conversation.

Jim: (Laughing)

Kevin: Why do we have to start the conversation? Why can’t we drive in silence? You know, I’m on record as saying, when a kid puts that CD in or turns on that radio station that you hate, I mean, if you really want to throw your kid a curve ball, try this. “Honey, turn that up.” And the kid is astonished. “What’d he say? Turn that up?” And they turn it up a little bit and say, “More.” And as they’re bouncin’ around, now again, you may not love the music, but I’ll tell you, you want a conversation with your kid, you want a conversation? You want to ask a question about, who’s singin’ that? There’s a question. Who’s singing that? They’ll tell you.

Now when you hear the group’s name, you’ll think it’s a mortgage company or something. It won’t sound like a group, believe me. But they have some interesting names for groups these days, but find something about the music to talk about.

What I’m saying is, you’ve gotta enter that kid’s world. If you don’t enter that kid’s world, he ends up a slam and clicker, which means he or she goes to their bedroom. They slam a door. They click it shut and they text like a woodpecker that’s got ADHD at all their buddies,

And that’s why so many Christian parents are frustrated, because they bring the kids up in the church. They bring ’em to youth group. The kids leave the home and goodbye faith. They’re gone. They don’t even know what’s goin’ on in their kid’s life.

Jim: Hm.

Kevin: And so, I’m just saying …

Jim: So, they’re not really connected.

Kevin: You have to connect and you have to get in their heads

Jim: Well, Dr. Kevin Leman, Be the Dad She Needs You to Be, man, we are scratchin’ the surface here. We’ve gotta come back next time and I’ve got a few more questions for you, for those dads who are maybe strugglin’ a bit with how to connect with their daughters in a way that has purpose and meaning. Can you stay with us?

Kevin: Let’s do it.

John: Yeah, I think there’s been a lot of hope offered to dads here and we’ll try to squeeze in some more questions next time, as well.

Now again, you can order the book from us here at Focus on the Family. Our number is 800-232-6459 or you ‘ll find it at www.focusonthe

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Avoiding Shame-Based Parenting

Psychologist Dr. Kelly Flanagan discusses the origins of shame, the search for self-worth in all the wrong places, and the importance of extending grace to ourselves. He also explains how parents can help their kids find their own sense of self-worth, belonging and purpose.

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Becoming a Clutter-Free Family

Joshua Becker discusses the benefits a family can experience if they reduce the amount of “stuff” they have and simplify their lives. He addresses parents in particular, explaining how they can set healthy boundaries on how much stuff their kids have, and establish new habits regarding the possession of toys, clothes, artwork, gifts and more.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!