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Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence (Part 2 of 2)

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence (Part 2 of 2)

Rhonda Stoppe explains how a mom with sons can shape them into becoming good and godly men. She offers moms practical guidance for spiritual training, effective communication, supporting the father-son relationship as a wife, and more. (Part 2 of 2)
Original Air Date: February 26, 2021

John Fuller: On today’s episode of Focus on the Family, we’re going to return to a really powerful challenge for moms from Rhonda Stoppe.

Preview:

Rhonda Stoppe: God calls us to obey because it’s what he calls us to do, not because we feel it. And as I said, thank you with my lips. And as I chose to think on what was good, eventually we started noticing this amazing musician emerge out of our son, Brandon. And I would have raised an arrogant little athlete. I wanted to hear the crowd glory in my son’s accomplishments. God got me out of the way, that Helicopter Mom, the one that would have, you know, mad because the lion and the bear came, but God sent that ’cause he was molding my son’s character. And God said, “I don’t want to bring the cloud, crowd to glory in your son’s accomplishments. I’m gonna use Brandon. I’m gonna raise him up to bring the crowd to glory in my son’s accomplishments through worship.”

End of Preview

John: Well, God can use moms to influence their sons in some pretty amazing ways, and sometimes that means learning how to let go and let God have control of your precious boy’s life. We’ll hear a lot more from Rhonda today. And thanks for joining us, your host is Focus president and author Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: John, as you mentioned, this was one of the most popular programs we’ve aired this year, and the takeaway for me was how teachable Rhonda was as a mom. You know, we hear from a lot of women who feel isolated as moms. They struggle with the daily grind of raising and feeding and caring for their children. And maybe you felt that way. But as Rhonda shared last time, she realized she needed help from other moms, older women who mentored her. And I think she called it her mommy club, which is a great name.

John: Mmm Hmm, it really is.

Jim: And we encourage you to do the same. That’s what Titus 2 is all about. Older women, likewise, are to be reverent in behavior. They are to teach what is good and so train the young women to love their husbands and children. That’s a beautiful scripture, and Rhonda’s lived that out in her motherhood journey. Of course, that same principle applies to us as men. Young husbands and dads need wise counsel from an older man to help them be the best father they can be and husband they can be.

John: That’s why we’re encouraging men to lean into this conversation as well. There’s a lot we can learn about how our wives think and feel through what Rhonda is sharing with us. Now, if you missed the program last time, we have that available online or as a CD, or you can go to our YouTube channel to see the whole thing. We also have a focus on the family app. All the details to hear or watch are at our web site, focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. We also have Rhonda’s terrific book Moms Raising Sons to be Men. Call 1-800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY to get your copy. And now here’s part two of our conversation with Rhonda Stoppe on today’s Best of 2021 Focus on the Family.

Jim: Rhonda, welcome back to Focus (laughs).

Rhonda: Thanks, it’s great to be back with you.

Jim: It’s good to have you, your energy abounds (laughs). And I love that. You… I would think you were a…

Rhonda: Did you just say I’m crazy (laughs)?

Jim: Yeah, not, not quite.

Rhonda: (Laughs). I heard crazy (laughs).

Jim: On the edge, no. But I love that. I just think what great energy you must have brought to your home with those kids.

Rhonda: My, my girls always say that “Mom’s a little bit crazy.” (Laughs). You love her, but you go a little bit crazy.” (Laughs).

Jim: I think every child should that about their mothers, but I think it’s fun. Let me ask you, and it’s very intriguing, um, to think about women of the Bible. I mean, because we’re often focused on kind of the core personalities, whether it’s the disciples, of course, Jesus, but you know, even Old Testament figures, et cetera. But we rarely don’t consider their parents and particularly their moms. Uh, what role did they play, et cetera. Um, you have so many good collections and, um, observations of mothers in the Bible. And I think one was the mother of James and John. And that’s a kind of a fun one because it’s so human.

Rhonda: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Describe what went on there, why she’s kind of outed (laughs) for being that mom, that mom.

Rhonda: The first section of Moms Raising Sons is called Moms of the Bible. And then the second is pa-, Practical Application. So, it’s written in two parts. And the reason I did that is because these are just people in their generation that God called to be the mother of the son of God, to be the mother of David, King, you know, King David’s mom. And then to be the one who raised the sons of thunder. Um, I’m thinking the sons of thunder-

Jim: (Laughs). You’re right the mom of, the moms of thunder.

Rhonda: Uh, but she didn’t have any Bric-à-brac in her house, (laughs) any knickknacks, I bet those Hummels were broken all over the place because they were the so-, sons of thunder. I mean that defines the rough and tumble, you were talking about wrestling in the basement. I think with your boys, we were talking about last hour. So, her sons leave the family business to go follow the one that they believe is the Messiah. And at some point, is it Salome, is that her name? She comes to follow and she’s there and she’s like, “Jesus, let me talk to you for a minute.”

Jim: Yeah (laughs).

Rhonda: And there’s a, there’s a family relationship there. So, she feels like she’s got the in. When you’re King, ’cause they expected Messiah to be King and sit on a throne right then and there.

Jim: Right.

Rhonda: Um, can my boys sit on either side of you? Would that be cool Jesus? (Laughs).

Jim: Sounds like a college entrance issue (laughs).

John: Ooh.

Rhonda: Ooh, too soon buddy (laughs).

Jim: Yeah, ouch, that’s cutting close (laughs). But it’s true, right?

Rhonda: But the disciples heard mama pull Jesus aside and try to pull some strings for her boys. And there’s a section in Moms Raising Sons and it’s called Mama’s Boys Get Beat Up. (Laughs). Because immediately these disciples are pretty mad and they take it out on the boys, they take it out on the sons of thunder. Like look at your mom is trying to pull some strings for you, putting your mama up to that. (Laughs). But we do that as moms, you know, my kids on the, the football team, you know, the, or the what’s it little league people, parents are crazy when their kids are playing ball, I’m going to breathe a snack bomb. I’m going to bring this; I’m going to butter up the coach. So, they play my kid. You know, we, we try to pull strings. If your kids are in school, you know, I’m going to be the, the classroom volunteer. And, and we try to manipulate people around our children.

Jim: I know we’re just enhancing their opportunity.

Rhonda: Yeah, yeah, you go with that (laughs). To make it so that my kid gets the advantage, right.

Jim: That’s what’s really happening.

Rhonda: It is.

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: And, and in the reality of it, we hurt our kids. We hurt our sons, we hurt our daughters when we try…

Jim: Now, in contrast you point to Hannah, who is a different type of mom, describe her and what she was good at.

Rhonda: She was good at prayer.

Jim: Huh?

Rhonda: And one of the prayers that are the most that stands out to me in scripture is the prayer of Hannah. And actually, I think of, um, uh, the prayer of Mary, as we’re talking about that, you know, she says, “My soul magnifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God, my savior for he who is mighty, has done great things for me. And Holy is his name.” And I know we’re talking about Hannah, but I don’t know Hannah’s prayer by heart, but I know Mary’s (laughs) I wake up and I pray that often. He who is mighty has done great things for me. If he’s called you to be a mother, whether it’s through adoption, whether it’s through foster, whether it’s through having children of your own, it is a calling, a privilege that God has called us to. Hannah couldn’t have children. And then her husband gets this great idea, “I love you, Hannah girl, but I want to get married to Penny over here. And she’s going to give me babies, but you’re still my favorite, but she’s going to make the babies.” And Hannah year after year was infertile as Pen-, Penny was having baby after baby. And she was weeping before the Lord. She took her sorrow to the Lord. In fact, she, Christ, her husband. He’s like, “Am I not good enough for you? You got me. Am I not better than, you know, however many sons.” And he didn’t get it. Poor guy. (Laughs).

Jim: Right.

Rhonda: He’s like, “No, you have kids through Penny. I’m childless.” Plus, it also made a reflection in their culture. Something’s wrong with me.

Jim: Right.

Rhonda: God’s not blessing me. And I’m speaking to some that are out there that are infertile, that are listening to this. And our hearts are with you. We need to pray for you, and we need to encourage you. And Hannah kept her eyes on the Lord. And she went and she prayed before the Lord. And when God finally did bless her with a child, she promised God, “I’m going to give him back to you.” And she brought this child to the temple. She’d come and see him every year. She’d make a little coat for him, but she gave her word that she would give this child to the Lord. And here’s the thing, she took him to a priest that wasn’t a very good guy. He had raised some rascals. He didn’t do a good job raising his own kids.

Jim: Right.

Rhonda: I’d be bargaining with God at that point, right. Okay, God, I know I promised that I was going to, but I’ll wait till-

Jim: But he’s not the guy.

Rhonda: -I’ll wait, wait till Eli dies. And then you bring in a really cool guy. I’ll take my son there. She kept her word to the Lord. And God raised up in Samuel to be one of the few prophets in scripture that has no scandal attached to his name. He just followed God. And it was her effectual po-, uh, powerful prayers that began that life that sent her son to be such an amazing man of God.

Jim: Yeah. You know, when we, when we look at, um, another aspect that you mentioned in the book, uh, the mother, son communication, there’s so much there and I observe it as the husband and father of our two teen boys and watching, uh, Jean, you know, communicate with our boys and vice versa. But, um, you, you mentioned something in the book, and I think it’s, (laughs) I don’t know if it’s a chapter title, but because I told you so, (laughs) I mean, I can hear that and my own mom even saying that.

Rhonda: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Jim: You know, just do it because I told you so, wh-, what’s a good way to motivate, and what’s a bad way to motivate.

Rhonda: We need to earn their respect from the time they’re very little so that, because I told you so can be an answer if it needs to be, and they have to …

Jim: And it works when they’re pretty young.

Rhonda: Yeah, and, and we want to establish that. (Laughs). And again, because I had mentors in my life that helped me from the time my kids were le-, young to build that respect in them. Um, but what we have to realize is there’s a section in the book, Moms Raising Sons called Train His Brain.

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: We had to teach them to think. Uh, my son-in-law worked at a Christian college down in Southern California. And he said, the kids that were raised in a really secure Christian home, but we’re kind of in a bubble, uh, that maybe never had the internet, never had video games, were homeschooled, all of those things left their home doing very well, but they did not know how to self-discipline. They did not know how to discern. Uh, we’re not trying to raise perfect kids. We’re trying to raise kids who know how to recover when they make a mistake or when they sin.

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: The normal Christian life is we sin. We as moms, I’m on the phone and my three-year-old’s listening to me as I’m talking about somebody that, you know, sister Betsy in the Cold Water Committee that didn’t like my pastor husband’s idea. I hang up and there’s my three-year-old looking at me. They just heard me sin. I gossiped. What am I going to do with that? Am I going to gloss it over or say, “Well, mommy was upset.” Or am I going to, ’cause we can cause our weaker brother to stumble by glossing it over or say, “That was sin. Mommy needs to ask Jesus to forgive me. And I’m going to ask the person I was talking to.” We have to live in a way that they see the normal Christian life as we move forward. When we sin, we repent, we pick up and we keep moving on. And training our kids’ brain, uh, I think of, uh, what Jake was saying when these kids would come to college, they would miss classes to play video games, their, their roommates’ video games. They would be on the internet, seeing things they had never learned to discern or, or guard themselves from. So, it’s learning to have them think and walk through the process, you know, as a man thinks in his heart, so is he. If, if this internet, if you’re looking at that pornography, it is going to make you into a man that I know you don’t want to be. And I know that I’ve lived long enough to know, or, you know, I’ve heard stories of this or that, that God’s gonna, Satan’s gonna take you down a path that you’re going to battle the rest of your life. I’m here to help you get away from that to be the man I know God’s calling you to be.

Jim: That’s good. Those are good, healthy connections. Um, you have a great quote in your book, Moms Raising Sons to Be Men, where you say, “The best time to neutralize conflicts with your adolescent son is a decade earlier when he’s two or three.”

Rhonda: Mm-hmm .

Jim: I mean that that’s powerful. Explain why it’s essential to teach a son about that authority as early as possible.

Rhonda: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Because I think even as a dad, I might wait. I’ll have that conversation when he’s 12-

Rhonda: Mm-hmm.

Jim: -Whatever it might be, but why start early? What’s the wisdom of that?

Rhonda: ‘Cause we become who we are from a very young age, it develops in us. And we talk about the story of Jochebed in the, in Moms Raising Sons, how she only had a window of time with that little boy before God told her, “Send him down the, the river in a basket.”

Jim: That’s Moses’s mother.

Rhonda: Moses’s mother. And you know, a lot of times with stuff going on, these people are like, “We’ve never lived in a worst time to be alive or to raise children.” I think not. This woman, they were having their children ripped from their breast and thrown into the Nile River. It’s a pretty rough time to be alive. She followed God’s plan and sent Moses out of the security of her own hands down a river, where there were crocodile and there were snakes, and she didn’t know God’s plan. She just obeyed what he told her to do. And he ended up right where God wanted him in Pharaoh’s household. And then she was able to nurse this child. If you don’t know the story, you have to read it in the Bible.

Jim: It’s a God story.

Rhonda: It’s a God story. (Laughs). But she had, you know, she nursed him maybe four years, culturally, maybe five years. We do so much in that first season of their lives to put an imprint on their mind about their, their biblical worldview. How we want to direct them to even see themselves as this creation of God. And in, in the light of that. It’s not wait until they’re 12. If, if I let my two-year-old scream in my face or say, “I hate you.” And you know, which they’re going to do whatever it takes to get what they want. If I don’t handle that, and fortunately, I had a husband that came and involved too, and he was a “You will not talk to my wife like that.” So, I was always like, “Talk about Knight in shining armor.” So, if your husband listening, your wife needs you. We’re worn out by the end of the day. In fact, by the time I had my third child, I was like, he’d come home and be like, “You’ve said no to her three times, and then you gave in.” I’m like, “I’m tired.” (Laughs). But establishing that respect so that… I always say terrible twos and adolescents, there’s really not a whole lot of difference except one has acne. Otherwise, they’re doing the same, trying to get their way, trying to get their independence. And we have to learn to establish it when they’re young. And if you’re listening and you didn’t, it’s never too late to apply biblical principles to parenting. And that’s why I wrote Moms Raising Sons to Be Men to give you the resource you’re looking for, the mentor that you had hoped you had. And I would like to say about mentors, if you’re an older mom, we need you to step up. We need you to be a mentor.

Jim: Yeah, no, that’s all good.

John: Well, our guest today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly is Rhonda Stoppe and, uh, she is a very popular author and speaker. And she’s written this book, Moms Raising Sons to Be Men. We’re going to encourage you to stop by our website or give us a call and get your copy today, uh, while you’re at it, get a copy of this broadcast. We have other help as well for you. The starting point, focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY.

Jim: Rhonda, describe the common battle moms have with teenage sons. Uh, it’s like a tug of war between the boy’s independence and mom’s perception of her little boy.

John: Yeah (laughs).

Jim: We’re looking at pictures right now. (laughs). So, we’re seeing all these, you ever done that-

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: -I mean, you find a file on the computer that has all the kids’ pictures from like two to five.

Rhonda: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Jean and I had just been sitting there (laughs) looking at these pictures. You got to check this one out.

John: He’s such a little boy.

Jim: …so cute. You know, you remember that little boy and now, you know, now they’re independent more and more, and they’re not the same little boys that we were raising back then. So, it’s a sweet spot and good memories. But, but that tug of war and that little boy ho-, how you, how does a mom, you know, allow that independence to occur because you can go one of two directions, you smother it, or you help feed it.

Rhonda: Mm-hmm. Or the third option is you just give up.

Jim: Right.

Rhonda: A lot of times, moms are just like, “They’ll figure it out.” And off they go. And if, you know, it’s the best I can do. Uh, I think for me, uh, as Brandon and I were wrestling with him, trying to break free from me as his authority figure, uh, men crave respect. We know that. And I talk in here about how sons crave our respect. So, when I’m talking down to him as a little boy that is just raising up in him, like, why don’t you see me as a man? And I remember like, just trying to get Brandon to do the chores he’d always done. And Steve would come home, I’d be in tears. And so, one day I was just like, “I can’t do it anymore.” And he said, “I will take over, but you have to tap out and let me have this.”

Jim: And not nag Steve.

Rhonda: And, and here’s the thing…

Jim: (Laughs). Is that what you were saying.

Rhonda: Yes, yeah. And not-

John: How did you know?

Jim: You just clarify the vocabulary.

Rhonda: -And, and not rescue him.

Jim: Yes.

Rhonda: ‘Cause that’s what we, as moms do. Look, your son is blah, blah, blah. And then dad says, “You’re grounded, and you can’t go to that thing you were wanting to go to.” And then, you know, we’re like, “Oh, not, not that. Let…” And then we do it in front of the kid and we pull the kids respect right out from under dad because we defend them from the very person, they wanted us to rescue. Now we’re like (laughs), “He’s, he’s being too harsh. That’s too hard. You shouldn’t let him do that.” So when, one of the stories that I love to tell was when Brandon was doing all of these things and not doing it with the respect that I thought that I deserved, Steve said, “Okay, I’m in control, your mom. You no longer answer to your mom.” And you could tell Brandon kind of was like, “Finally, she’s nuts.” (Laughs). And he said, “But now you work for me. And I’m not an easy task master. Tomorrow, I want you to dig a ditch from our house to the wood barn.” And it was quite a distance. And, uh, the section…

Jim: It sounds like prison (laughs).

Rhonda: Yeah, yeah. Right. The section in there is called the Ditch Digger. And it’s that story.

Jim: Yes.

Rhonda: And he dug with a pick and shovel and the ground is super hard where we live. And he came in at the end of the day, wasn’t done. And he, and he had blisters on his hands, and I fully expected Brandon to be angry that he had to work so hard all day. And Steve had set up to back up he’s, in the morning when he left for work, he said, “Do not remind him if he does not do it, do not coax him to do it. So, he doesn’t get in trouble. He’ll answer to me when I get home, you are out. Do not even mention it.” Which, you know, you’re like, Oh, okay. So, when Brandon comes in the house, when Steve came home, Brandon popped up his little chest and said, “Dad, come let me show you how far I dug.” And I’m like, “Who is this kid?” Like freaked out over having to sweep the kitchen. And now he wants to show this ditch that he had dug. And then he said, “Dad, I’ve got blisters on my hands. And I have to play my guitar on Sunday for worship. Can I have some gloves? So, I can do more tomorrow?” (Laughs). Who is this kid? But you know, we as women, we know we’re going to sweep the floor today and probably tomorrow, unless we let the dog and eat the crumbs and (laughs) get by. But that’s just a menial task that we know has to be done and we’re going to do it. But what I found with Brandon is he was not energized by that task, at that adolescent age, he wanted work that he felt proud of, of something that he accomplished at the end of the day. I don’t, didn’t see that as a mom. But through Steve’s eyes, I saw what Brandon was longing for. So, as I just tapped out and let him answer to his father, I remember when Brandon was asking permission to go somewhere. I’m like, “I, I am not allowed to give you permission. Well, dad’s counseling. I can’t knock on the door.” I’m like, “I’m, I’m not allowed. I’ll get in trouble.” And that was a turning point for Brandon and me, ’cause he knew he couldn’t manipulate me to get his way to do whatever. Uh, and then I handed him his manhood, “Hey dude, can you help me lift that? It’s really heavy for me.” It, I watched him rise to the occasion. Now some are listening, going, “I don’t have a dad like that in my life. I don’t have… I’m a single mom.” And we talk about single moms in here. Or you’re a mom, but your husband just doesn’t want to be involved. You need to expose your sons to godly mentors. And I think of Lois and Eunice in scripture who raised Timothy and the Apostle Paul came along and he said, “It’s because of the influence of your mom and your grandma-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Rhonda: -That you were ready to receive the gospel.”

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: When Paul delivered it to him. Paul handed the very mantle of his ministry to a son that was raised probably by a single mom at that point because his father who was not a believer had probably died is what historians believe. His mom and his grandma prepared him for the ministry that God was going to call him to. And the Apostle Paul became his Godly mentor.

Jim: And that, that’s an awesome thing. And I, I love that concept of, for a mom handing manhood to her sons. And dads got to play that role.

Rhonda: Mm-hmm .

Jim: That’s a delicate balance though, too. And you know, I think a lot of, uh, couples suffer from the busy-ness of life. And I, you know, the dad may not be engaged to look at the research right now. And it, it seems to suggest that dads may not be that engaged with their sons. What about that perspective? Where the, the marital issue is dad is not showing up and wives are struggling. And so that I guess nagging can occur where, hey, where are you? And…

Rhonda: Mm-hmm, mm-hmm. And then the resentment. I think the wife starts-

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: -Resenting the husband and then those digging comments or those undermining, you know, ways that we interact with our spouse. And, uh, in fact, my daughter, Kayla, she just told this story. She did a devotional at a, uh, baby shower and she was in the car waiting for her husband to come. And the three girls in the tr-, in the back seat. And when they got in the car, the little girl mentioned how long it took dad to get to the car. And he looked at Kayla (laughs) and she’s like, “They get it.” They hear even under your breath, those little things. And we can steal the respect from our husbands. So, we have to forgive them when they don’t measure up. So, we can pray for them to find godly mentors or for God to give them the wisdom and discernment to lead our families.

Jim: Well, and the, the awareness.

Rhonda: The awareness.

Jim: I mean, this could hopefully serve as an awareness for dads to wake up and engaged.

Rhonda: Wake up guys (laughs).

John: Yeah.

Jim: Rhonda, sometimes moms can feel, they have a short period of time. Maybe they’ve blown it for a long time. And now they’re, they’re down to a couple of years. Um, you make that reference. In fact, you experienced that with, uh, the son that you brought into your home, Tony. Describe that story. And then did you panic about, okay, I’ve only got a little bit of time to work with him, or how did you process that. Jean and I have done foster care, and that can be a challenge too, but when you have a young man come into your home, for whatever reason, how do you manage the short period of time that you have to influence him for a lifetime?

Rhonda: So, when Tony became a part of our family, he was 15 years old, and he related to Steve as a father right away. In fact, uh, graduation, high school graduation card, he wrote to Steve, just related his, uh, appreciation. And he’s quoted in Moms Raising Sons to Be Men saying, “I have no doubt that God caused me to be a part of this family to show me what it looked like to be a godly husband and father.”

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: Uh, he came to Christ when he was 15. I wanted to just jump in and mother him.

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: Uh, but you know, men interact shoulder to shoulder more often than eye to eye. So, I needed to find ways to speak to Tony, speak truth into his life that wasn’t just me following him around. And he had a Jeep that he would work on. We lived in Austin, Texas. It was super-hot. He’d work on it at night, out in the driveway and I’d sit in the Jeep. It didn’t have a top on it. And as his head was down in the motor, he and I would talk about girls (laughs). We talk about his dream to become a fighter pilot, which he is now, he’s a Lieutenant Colonel in the air force, flies the F-22.

Jim: Way to go.

Rhonda: Getting ready to retire.

Jim: Amazing.

Rhonda: Uh-huh. And he wanted to, he, and then we would talk about girls and then he would talk about going to A&M University. ‘Cause that was his dream. And he graduated from there. And then we talked about girls. (Laughs). And we did it all with his head in the engine.

Jim: Right.

Rhonda: If I had sat that young man down at a table in my kitchen and said, “Hey, we’re going to talk about girls.”

Jim: Right. No way.

Rhonda: He would’ve said, “Talk, I’m listening.” But he wouldn’t… Just because he was super respectful and-

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: -Respected Steve and Steve laid down ground rules when he moved in with our family. And that doesn’t always happen, I think when you’re taking in a foster child-

Jim: It can be difficult.

Rhonda: -Like this is the rules of the house, this is what we will do. But as I spoke into Tony’s life, I related to him as an older woman, godly mentor who loved him. But he went away to A&M University, his freshman year of college, he became, he got picked for the A&M drill team, the A team of the A&M Drill team. That’s the best of the best, if, if I can just point that out (laughs). And he came down with pneumonia and it was bad. And he called tearful that the, the nurse had said, “You need to drop out of the, the, the drill team.” And he was not gonna drop out. And he was super sick. And I asked him, I said, “Can I step in and be your mama?” And he said, “Okay.” So, I called the, the attorney who lived in Austin that kind of, uh, helped him get into A&M and, and said, “Hey, do you know this commander of the drill team? This is what’s going on.” That commander called me back and said, “I want you to know your son…” And he said some amazing, wonderful things about Tony. And he said, “We won’t drop him from the drill team. You come and get him.” I’m gonna cry. “You come and get him and take care of him. And you bring him back when he’s healthy.” And I had, we drove out to college station to pick him up, brought him back home to our house in Austin. And I took care of… He should have been in the hospital. I took care of him for two weeks, that he was in bed, completely bedridden. And that is when my relationship with Tony bonded where I, his, was his mama. Not only that I took care of him when he was sick, he gave me permission to step in and, and on his behalf when he was needing-

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: -Help and be a mother for him. And I, I believe that’s when Tony and I bonded, not when I forced him to listen to me, not when I, you will respect me as your mom. Sometimes God creates, we talked last, last show about God sending the lions and the bears in our kids’ lives. Uh, God sent that into Tony’s life. It, it did a work in him, but it also bonded, he and I as mother and son.

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: And I’m the grandmother of his two children. And he’s married to a really amazing woman that just got her doctorate in nursing. They’re precious-

Jim: Yeah.

Rhonda: Their love story is wonderful.

Jim: Well, and I so appreciate that. And I think the, the thing that I’m hearing that’s so critical is you, you did ask permission-

Rhonda: Yes.

Jim: -Can I do this? And I’m sure that spoke volumes to him to be the mom-

Rhonda: Mm-hmm.

Jim: -That you need right now. Um, well, how many biological adopted sons need to hear that? It’s everybody, everybody wants to hear that, that you care about them. And that they’re accepted for who they are, even with all their warts and wrinkles, right? (Laughs). It’s so beautiful. Rhonda, that’s a tough place to end, but what a great place to end in terms of hope and restoration and this idea of a mom’s relationship to her boys. That’s a beautiful story.

John: And that’s how we concluded our conversation with Rhonda Stoppe about her book Mom’s Raising Sons to Be Men and it is a terrific resource. We’ll encourage you to get a copy. And if you can make a donation of any amount to the ministry of Focus on the Family today, we’ll make sure to send the book to you is our way of saying thanks for joining the support team and helping Focus equip moms and dads in their parenting journey. Donate and get Rhonda’s book when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459 or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: And let me also remind everyone here in the final weeks of 2021 that hundreds of thousands of parents will be contacting Focus on the Family in the coming year. They’ll be looking for resources for the spiritual discipleship of their children. Or maybe they’re navigating a transition in their family, like the first day of school or moving into the teen years. And some families will need help because of a significant crisis with their children. Working together, we can give these families hope and we’re counting on your ongoing financial support because you provide the fuel, we need to get this job done. We have a matching gift opportunity thanks to some generous friends, which means anything you give will be matched dollar for dollar. In other words, you’re giving will be doubled to help more parents and more children. So please be generous with your support of Focus on the Family right here at the end of the year.

John: We really do need to hear from you today, so please call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY or donate online at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Coming up next time, some better ways to manage conflict in your marriage.

Preview:

Amber Lia: We always tell people if it feels like the death of you to yield in that moment then you’re in the right place. Because it should be the death of you, it’s the death to self.
End of Preview

Today's Guests

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to be Men

Receive Rhonda Stoppe's book Moms Raising Sons to be Men for your donation of any amount! And when you give today, your support will be DOUBLED to Give Families Hope!

Recent Episodes

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How I Found God Through My Abortion Journey (Part 2 of 2)

Cynthia Wenz shares her incredible testimony of discovering God’s love and forgiveness. As a teenager, Cynthia lived recklessly and strayed away from the Lord. By age 29, she had three abortions, numbing herself from the reality of killing her children. After realizing her mistakes, Cynthia became pro-life and experienced many years of turmoil and grief before undergoing post-abortion recovery. She now advocates for pregnancy resource centers across the nation. (Part 2 of 2)

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How I Found God Through My Abortion Journey (Part 1 of 2)

Cynthia Wenz shares her incredible testimony of discovering God’s love and forgiveness. As a teenager, Cynthia lived recklessly and strayed away from the Lord. By age 29, she had three abortions, numbing herself from the reality of killing her children. After realizing her mistakes, Cynthia became pro-life and experienced many years of turmoil and grief before undergoing post-abortion recovery. She now advocates for pregnancy resource centers across the nation. (Part 1 of 2)

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Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

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Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

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Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

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Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

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Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

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Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

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“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

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Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

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Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

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Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

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God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

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As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!