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Navigating a Toxic Culture With Your Daughter (Part 2 of 2)

Navigating a Toxic Culture With Your Daughter (Part 2 of 2)

Dr. Meg Meeker explains how parents can shape their daughter's character and faith so that she can successfully navigate our culture's most difficult challenges, which include the toxic elements associated with social media, feminism, sexual identity, and more. (Part 2 of 2)
Original Air Date: March 2, 2021

Preview:

Dr.  Meg Meeker: Developing a strong, deep relationship with a father with a daughter or a mother with a daughter, that’s what’s going to change that daughter and root her so that when she hits her 20s, she has her wits about her, she has her faith, and she knows who she is.

End of Preview

John Fuller: That’s Dr. Meg Meeker, who has a wealth of information and help for you if you’re a parent with daughters, and she really has a way of getting to the heart of the issue and identifying those core needs that our kids have. Uh, Dr. Meeker is with us again on Focus on the Family to continue the discussion we began last time. Your host is Focus president and author Jim Daly, and I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Uh, John, last time we spoke to Dr. Meg about a variety of things. Feminism, uh, the things that moms need to make sure they’re doing to ensure, as best as possible, uh, that their daughters are understanding their identity, who they are, and answering those tough questions. And if you missed last time, uh, get the download… download the app, you can listen, uh, off your smartphone and, uh, get that content. We’re covering her excellent book, uh, raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture, and I’m looking forward to today’s conversation.

John: I am too. We’ve got that book here at Focus on the Family. Do give us a call, uh, for your copy.

Jim: Dr. Meg, welcome back to Focus.

Dr. Meeker: Well, thanks for having me, Jim.

Jim: (laughs) It’s so good to have you here. I don’t want to, uh, ask a leading question, but, uh, how long have you been practicing as a pediatrician?

Dr. Meeker: Oh, my. It’s about 32 or 33 years.

Jim: So, the point of that is, experience pays off.

Dr. Meeker: Okay.

Jim: You have seen a lot of, uh, teenage girls particularly, right?

Dr. Meeker: Thousands.

Jim: Thousands?

Dr. Meeker: And, and I… you know, and one of the things I love, I love to see and answer questions of parents and kids who are really struggling with tough issues. And-

Jim: Give us an example of that.

Dr. Meeker: Kids who are wanting to run away, kids who are on drugs, and they have two parents at home and parents are beside themselves and they don’t know what to do. One of the struggles we have now is around the gender issue.

Jim: Sure.

Dr. Meeker: And, um, the… or the other thing, you know, we have some Christian parents, and their daughter comes in at 16 or 17 and they find out she’s sexually active. What do they do? So, I have to deal with parents who feel very, very guilty, and then I have to deal with a daughter who feels guilty and sort of reset them, so… and I love to talk to kids and teenagers about sex.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: Isn’t that crazy?

Jim: Oh, no, it’s healthy.

Dr. Meeker: And, and high school students. I mean, and parents say, “Well, they don’t wanna talk about that.” Oh, yes, they do. And it’s really fun because, you know, God has given us a healthy path through just about everything. And when you bring that in the path and you talk to kids or parents about that path, it feels so good, it feels so right, it’s so healing. And you can see eyes light up. I see eyes light up in kids when I’m talking to them about why having sex with three partners when you’re 17, 18, you’re 20, can cause depression. The boys say, “Well, no one told me that.

Jim: Hmm.

Dr. Meeker: “Is that why I feel so bad?”

Jim: Yeah. Uh, you know, we’re here. I was wanting to ask these questions in a moment but since we’re here, let’s go for it. Uh, something like 40%… in your book, you state 40%, uh, of teen girls are sexually active. Um, that is lower than half-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … which is good, but it’s still an incredibly high number.

Dr. Meeker: It is. And I will tell you, I think the reason they’re sexually active is, um, they get a lot of pressure from boys. And as we were talking before, girls who are nice and kind and conscientious don’t wanna say no because no one’s taught them to say no. They also have a lot of pressure from the media. And everyone is saying-

Jim: Oh, is that one of them?

Dr. Meeker: “… Media, media,” but, but social media-

Jim: Peer pressure?

Dr. Meeker: Peer pressure. As a matter of fact, I routinely say to girls in my practice, high school girls, “What are the two or three biggest, um, trouble spots for you? What are the biggest pressures that you deal with, if you just could boil it down?”

Jim: It’s a good question.

Dr. Meeker: And without skipping a beat, they say, “Being thin enough and having sex.”

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: Always. And I say, “Well, tell me about that.” “Well, I’m, I’m just never thin enough, okay? So, I always have to diet.” And they get that message from third grade on.

Jim: Wow.

Dr. Meeker: A- and then the messages about sex because they see it everywhere. I’m sure you’re aware of the recent movie, Cuties?

Jim: Yeah, I’ve heard a little bit about it.

Dr. Meeker: On the cover-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: … there are 11-year-old girls-

Jim: Yeah, it’s terrible.

Dr. Meeker: … dressed in black stuff in sexual postures and positions. And so many parents… Netflix is bringing out, so many parents wrote and so they changed the cover. Well, I don’t know, they changed the movie. But even seeing a photo like that, if you’re 14-

Jim: Right.

Dr. Meeker: … and these girls are 11, you’ve missed the boat. And so, they need to engage in sexual talk. They need to act like they’re open, at least to boys, to be accepted. And remember, as we talked last time about having, “Am I significant? Do I have value?” One of the ways they can feel significant, even if it’s superficial, is to act sexually attractive and sexually open, even if they don’t want it. And I think, um, the other reason girls are sexually active is they don’t feel they have a good reason not to be.

Jim: Yeah. What is that reason, for that mom, particularly, who’s gonna have that discussion with their 15-year-old girl in their Christian home?

Dr. Meeker: Okay.

Jim: What’s that answer-

Dr. Meeker: Oh.

Jim: … the one that mom has to deliver?

Dr. Meeker: Easy. Easy, easy. I’ve delivered it a million times to girls I don’t know. First of all, God made you to respect and love and protect yourself. God made you so beautiful. You’re the temple. You’re a temple. The Holy Spirit lives in you. And um, the next reason is that you were created to be strong and to say no to people and to not accept things, um, before you want them. We know, we have great studies to show that it leads to depression. We know that sexual activity in young girls and-

Jim: It’s gonna be damaging.

Dr. Meeker: Damaging-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: … psychologically. You’re gonna feel worse about yourself. “No, I won’t, mom. No, I won’t, mom. I’ll be accepted.” No, you don’t. Um, and then third, physiologically. Um, and then I say to them, I pull out the zinger, “Do you know why you got your Gardasil? Did your doctor ever tell you why you got your Gardasil?” “No.” Well, I say, “Then we need to have that conversation.”

John: And for those listening, Gardasil is-

Dr. Meeker: It’s, it’s a vaccine for HPV, human papillomavirus, which causes cervical cancer in girls, in young girls. So now I say to girls, “We are… diseases are such an issue among young kids, particularly young girls, ’cause your anatomy… we have to immunize you now against a sexually transmitted infection. That’s, that’s serious. Sexual activity is so serious, um, that we need to do that.” So, he-

Jim: Hmm.

Dr. Meeker: … those are just a few of the big reasons. So, you don’t even have to say, which you certainly can, “It’s wrong to do.” You can start with a medical stuff and then move into, “Your body is too precious-

Jim: Hmm.

Dr. Meeker: “… and, uh, the temple of the Holy Spirit.”

Jim: Well, and I so appreciate that. You know what I’m trying to teach my boys, I don’t have, again, the, the honor of raising girls, but trying to teach them that, you know, “God’s given you this wedding present-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: “… and he wants you to keep it wrapped.” (laughs) You know?

Dr. Meeker: Exactly.

Jim: And he wants you to explore that-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … when you get married with that woman he brings into your life-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … for a lifetime.

Dr. Meeker: I used-

Jim: I’ve tried to continue to message that-

Dr. Meeker: But, but-

Jim: … since they were little.

Dr. Meeker: Here’s… exactly. And I find, in many instances, teen boys are more sensitive than teen girls. That’s exactly-

Jim: Interesting.

Dr. Meeker: … yeah, what, exactly what I taught our son. And after he went off to college, a couple of years into college, he (laughs) and a friend of his called me with questions about why he should continue to stay abstinent. And I thought, “That is so cool.”

Jim: (laughs) It is.

Dr. Meeker: But here… but here’s, here’s what I tell kids, particularly boys, “You know, God you… made your body to be sexually active from 15 to about, you know, 75 or 80. So that’s a lot of years.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: “That’s maybe 70 years.” And the look over their faces is, “Are you kidding me?” And I say, “Are your parents alive?” “Oh, that’s horrible.” And then I say, “Are your grandparents alive?” And they wanna rock, either run, but I say, “Here is my point. If you want a great 40 years, you need to listen to what I’m gonna tell you over the next 10 years.

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Meeker: “And if you really want great, uh, relationships, your wife for that long a period of time, then you need to pay attention to what you do in the next five years.”

Jim: Wow.

Dr. Meeker: They get it.

Jim: Yeah, that is so good. Uh, let’s move, uh, toward how Christ views all of this. In your practice, you’ve seen evidence that belief in Jesus, uh, actually changes a girl’s entire outlook on life. I would embrace that; it changed my life. In practical terms, how does her faith make that difference? So, what have you seen in your practice with these teen girls, particularly?

Dr. Meeker: Oh, I… well, I think they’re so grateful to have depth. Nothing in our culture teaches them to live deeply, okay? It’s the sex-

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Meeker: … and the thinness thing. So, on a, on a very basic like… and some parents don’t teach their kids how to live deeply. They are all into sports and making sure their daughters look good and making sure their grades. So having a relationship with Christ is something deeper than they know. So-

Jim: It’s the core core.

Dr. Meeker: It’s the core core. So, it opens up a whole new world for them. And then for them to see, gee whiz, this is a person that came to me because he loves me and gives me deeper value than I’ve ever known before-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: … and it allows me to experience a love I’ve not known before, particularly if a girl’s grown up in a tough situation, been abuser so forth, so it w- younger girls, teen girls, are so much more open to Christ than adults are, in my experience.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: Now, people say during the teen years, they walk away. In my experience, and maybe it’s just my patient population, I’ve seen a lot of girls very open to Christ because they’re so desperate to feel good about themselves, good about life, and understand there’s more than the way they look, the way their friends are acting, the grades they get, and how well they sing. And a lot of parents, unfortunately, even Christian parents, we’re feeding into that ’cause that’s what our peers are doing.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Well, it’s giving them meaning. In fact, in the book, you mentioned faith helps the girls with moral guidance-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: … understand they are part of the larger story. So, they fit into a picture. That’s good. It reduces narcissism, right?

Dr. Meeker: Yes, huge.

Jim: Um, have a healthy sense of realism, delay the onset of sexual activity, be less rebellious, set boundaries, and stay out of trouble, be more likely to get higher grades, be less likely to have depressive symptoms.

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: So, parents are going, “I’ll sign up for that.

Dr. Meeker: Exactly.

Jim: “That’s what I want for my teen girl.”

Dr. Meeker: Yeah, exactly.

Jim: And isn’t it amazing that it starts in a relationship with Jesus Christ?

Dr. Meeker: It does.

Jim: But there’s no sprinkled dust. I mean-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: … that’s something that has to be from their heart.

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: They have to say yes to Jesus.

Dr. Meeker: Exactly.

Jim: And, uh, you as a parent, have to provide the groundwork for that to be done, which means you need to live it well-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: … honestly, openly, correct?

Dr. Meeker: And… exactly. And you need to teach why Christ wants these things for you, and in a positive way, not in a shaming way.

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Meeker: Um-

Jim: … ’cause that’s really important-

Dr. Meeker: It’s very-

Jim: … explain that.

Dr. Meeker: Because a lot of kids who’ve grown up, been taught abstinence, um, and they wait until they’re married or, or say they, you know, are sexually active with a fiancé or boyfriend right before they’re married, and they feel shame. I said, well then you weren’t taught abstinence correctly because we’re supposed to teach that so beautiful that it’s worth waiting for, and that Christianity and the lives we live and the restrictions we place on ourselves are for good. They’re, they’re to make us feel better and be better. Um, you know, living a certain way, you know, not swearing, not lying to people, um, not cheating on things. Um, that’s a lifestyle that we believe Christ set forth through his life, that when we begin to mimic that, we grow closer to him, him, but all of these wonderful things come forth from it. Staying in school, getting better grades. So, you wouldn’t ever say, “I wanna have a relationship with Christ ’cause I want better grades.”

Jim: Right.

Dr. Meeker: They wouldn’t buy it.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Meeker: Or, you know, “I, I am less likely to be depressed. Would someone just give me a pill?” You know, “We’re saying, “No, no, no, no. It’s a relationship you come into that out of this comes a, a way that you want to live because it’s so beautiful.”

Jim: Right. Which is the calling God places on us, right?

Dr. Meeker: Yes.

Jim: That’s the thing. And Paul writes about that so beautifully. It’s not out of the law-

Dr. Meeker: Exactly.

Jim: … that we behave that way, it’s out of our love for God.

Dr. Meeker: It’s out of our love.

Jim: And then the, the rebound is the fact that blessings flow.

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: You know, you’re protected from these things that we’ve been talking about, whether it’s STDs or other things-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … but let me ask, perhaps, the question-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … um, wh- what are some of the ways that parents… and I… in the context of moms and daughters, what, what are some of the things that those moms can teach their daughters to turn to God and to trust Him?

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: I mean, that’s a big question.

Dr. Meeker: It’s a big question.

Jim: And it’s not formulaic. And I know some parents who have 20-something daughters right now are going, “We failed. Somehow, we missed it and we thought we were doing all the right things.” And my heart goes out to them.

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: And some parents are grieving that right now ’cause their daughter is living with the boyfriend.

Dr. Meeker: Right.

Jim: So, speak to that idea of formula versus predictive inputs, but what are those things a mom needs to be doing-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … to turn their daughters toward God?

Dr. Meeker: Well, I think one of the things we do, and I did this as a mistake, you know, with our kids when… particularly when they were young, we do sort of follow the formula. Ask Christ into your heart-

Jim: Right.

Dr. Meeker: … and when you ask him into your heart, then you’re saved. When I did that with our daughter when she was four or five and now, she’s told me this, it scared her. And she prayed it over and over and over because she couldn’t see that he came in. And so, you wanna be very careful when you tell kids to do things and that will help them love God more, become a Christian.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Meeker: It has to start backwards. It has to start in the heart. So, I think with young children, you share your heart, you share your love for Him, and you share why you love Him, and you are very, very positive about it. And then you can come into, “Here is why I do what I do. Here is why I don’t swear. Here is why I don’t want you to have an iPhone until you’re 16.

Jim: Yeah, that’s great.

Dr. Meeker: “I know you think I’m weird and creepy, but this is why I do it.” Um, because I think that what we tend to do as Christians, in our culture, we see so much bad stuff out there, is that we want our kids to be Christians, we talk to them about behaviors that are gonna counter that. And we do that sort of saying, “Here’s how you live as a Christian. Don’t do this and don’t do this and don’t do this.”

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: Kids don’t want that. They don’t want that. They want something authentic and deep. And they don’t also just want our story, so we can tell them, you know, how we love Christ and why we want… they want the deep and the good stuff. They don’t… just don’t want rules. So, I think it’s important, I’m really a big proponent of service, service work-

Jim: Yeah, volunteerism.

Dr. Meeker: Volunteer.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: And don’t let the kids do it alone. You take them-

Jim: Oh, yeah. You go.

Dr. Meeker: … and you say, “Here we go.”

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: And you keep your mouth shut. And… because kids, one of the complaints parents have is their kids are narcissistic, very self-centered, and feel very entitled. That’ll take it out of them.

Jim: Yeah, that’s true.

Dr. Meeker: Okay. And if you need to get on a plane to go there, go. But you usually don’t look within a mile radius of your home-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: … and find a place, you know, a lady who li- needs her lawn mowed or something. And so that really helps kids see Christ alive.

Jim: (laughs) And we did that early on. The boys were probably like 9 and 11 and Jim found a animal rehab firm. So, you can imagine what we were doing. We showed up and we shoveled the back-end-

John: (laughs).

Jim: … of animal stuff.

Dr. Meeker: There you go.

Jim: And, uh, it was pretty, uh, humiliating, but it was a good lesson-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah, yeah.

Jim: … and they loved it, actually.

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: They really enjoyed it.

John: Well, this is Focus on The Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller and our guest today is Dr. Meg Meeker. Uh, we’re talking about some of the great content in her book, Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe. And, uh, it’s a great book. We’ll encourage you to call or stop by our website to get your copy, focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Meg, let me ask you about young… the young daughters’ appetite for spiritual things.

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: I mean, I saw some research long ago that said parents have a 78% influence on their kids even into their teen years.

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: We don’t typically believe that-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-mm (negative).

Jim: … because of the behavior issues and stress and tension between daughter and parent and those kinds of things. But parents have to be the adults in the room, right? And realize that in their heart of hearts, they’re still yearning for that guidance and that relationship, even if it’s smothered with rebellion.

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: It’s just this weird time. And I think the right question is to say, how do we understand that, as moms and dads, and then how do we apply that, so it best helps that daughter, you know, through the heart stuff?

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And how do we encourage their own, uh, faith journey-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: … when it doesn’t seem like they could care?

Dr. Meeker: Oh, yeah. Yeah. You know, whenever you see a teenager who’s really snarly and is piercing everything she can find, I’ve done a trick. When I see that kid, the, the more scary they look, the angrier they look, I see small, little girl on the inside-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: … balled up in a fetal position-

Jim: Wow.

Dr. Meeker: … going, “Please, please, please, please, mom. Please, mom, help me. Please, mom, help me.” Because every teenage girl that I… has gotten into a lot of trouble, by the time she’s a senior, they’ll say, you know, “Nobody cared to listen. Nobody wanted to hear what I had to say.”

Jim: Wow, that is powerful.

Dr. Meeker: It’s very powerful. And so, what girls crave, and it’s hard for parents to hear, is the simple things.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: They want you to look at them and listen and let them know you want their company, you’re not always running off to work, you’re not always running off to the gym, you’re not al-

Jim: That I mean something to you.

Dr. Meeker: And I mean something.

Jim: Uh-huh.

Dr. Meeker: And so not just that I love you, but that I like you and I want you to go help, help me change the oil in my car because I just wanna be with you. And I wanna hear what you have to say. If a parent only did that one thing, said, “You know what? I haven’t seen you all week. Come sit on the couch by me.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: “I just want to hear what… how your week was.” And be quiet.

Jim: Yeah, yeah.

Dr. Meeker: Don’t teach preach in there because if you just teach a child that you want their company, you love them, you value what they’re here to say, that would put them 90% on the right path. Because the way we help those kids who are going crazy in their teen years and you know, kind of wanting to run away from home, the key to getting back on the same track is reconciling a healthy relationship with one parent.

Jim: Yeah. In fact, in the book, you have a story about a patient. You named her Eliana, she probably has a different name, but what was her story and how does it fit here?

Dr. Meeker: You know, one of the great things about being older is that I get to follow kids over a long period of time. So, Eliana was a girl that I knew, really since a baby, which… so I knew her whole story. Her mother was not well mentally, and her father didn’t live anywhere near here. He lived out of the country. And so, she really didn’t know her father. And around 14, she started to act out.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: She started to get bad grades, she started dating a guy who was 18, um, she really started to cry out for help and her mother had no idea what to do with her and, again, her mother was ill herself. So, this girl literally sort of began raising herself as a young kid. So, she would come in, and I encouraged her to go in, um, you know, to just meet some Christian friends. And at first, she said, “I don’t wanna do that. They won’t have anything to do with me because I went to youth group once and nobody talked to me.”

Jim: Mm-hmm. Well-

Dr. Meeker: And I said, “Okay.” And then one… another day, she came, and she says, “Well, I’m gay, you know.” I said, “Okay.” So… and I think she was upset because I didn’t, you know, jump out of my seat-

Jim: You didn’t overreact.

Dr. Meeker: … and go, “No, no, no. You can’t do that.”

Jim: She was looking for the response.

Dr. Meeker: Totally. Totally. She wanted-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: … a response… she would do anything to get somebody’s attention. So, she came back and came back, and I said, “Okay, we’ll deal with that later, but right now I wanna deal with you and your heart, okay? Because you’re really, really hurting here.” So, we worked and worked and really by the time she was in her late teens, um… and she kept coming in one day, she came in and she was particularly angry. And she sat in my room for 45 minutes on my stool and she just spun around. And she wouldn’t talk. And I said, “Do you wanna leave?” “Nope.” “Do you want another doctor?” “Nope.” I said, “Well, I don’t really… you’re not gonna talk to me. What should I do?” “I don’t know.” She kept on spinning. So anyway-

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Meeker: Kids will do anything. Well, long story short, as she got older, I said to her, “Who loves you?”

Jim: Hmm. Hmm.

Dr. Meeker: Who loves you?

Jim: What a question?

Dr. Meeker: Yeah. 17 years old and I can’t believe I didn’t ask her. She looked at me kind of funny and she goes, “Well, I know my dad doesn’t ’cause I never really met him. My mom, I don’t know. I, I know she’s supposed to. Um, gee whiz, I don’t know.”

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: And I said, “Well, what about God?” “I don’t know. I don’t know about God.” So that’s how we started talking about God and, miraculously, she was very open to hear about them and did learn about Christ and started to get on the right path. And it was so beautiful. And she finally went off to college. And I’m not saying that I evangelized her, but here’s my point. Even a girl who looks so locked down and shut away and, and appears to hate people-

John: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: … was so crying out for love-

John: Hmm.

Dr. Meeker: … and to just be validated and seen. You know, even if I just-

John: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: … sat there and watched her spin-

John: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: … that was good enough for her.

John: Somebody had to take time to pay attention.

Dr. Meeker: And here’s the thing that absolutely blew me away. She said at… before she left, she said, “You know what…” because she went off to college, “I really appreciate you being in my life because, you know, you’re one of the people who knows me best.”

John: Hmm.

Dr. Meeker: And I probably saw her two or three times a year.

Jim: Wow-

Dr. Meeker: I almost bu-

Jim: … that’s lonely.

Dr. Meeker: I almost burst into tears.

John: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: “You’re the person who knows me best.” And um-

Jim: Just like nobody had stopped to talk to her.

Dr. Meeker: No one.

Jim: Yeah, nobody close to her. Uh, Meg, in that context, everywhere around us, the culture, you know, tells parents and their daughters to find self-fulfillment. Um, how damaging is it that… to push young girls into a worldly pursuit for happiness? I mean, this girl’s story is kind of that. She was-

Dr. Meeker: It is.

Jim: … looking in all the wrong places-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … just to restate a cliché, but how do we help our daughters to understand the greatest fulfillment, the greatest identity, is gonna be found in God-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … in Christ?

Dr. Meeker: Well, first of all, our teaching has to be authentic. But I think we need to really look at ourselves squarely in the face and say, “Where am I spending my money on my kid? Where is my s- kid spending their time, and who are my kids’ friends?” And if we come down to what we realize that we are pushing our kids into all sorts of extracurricular activities after school they don’t need and we’re praising them for the stuff they do and how they look, um, and the as they’re getting. But rather than do that, excuse me, we need to back up and start looking at their character. Change our focus about our kids and focus on their character. And when we start to praise fruits of the spirit in them-

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Yeah, that’s good.

Dr. Meeker: … you are so patient. “Man, I saw you with your three-year-old little sister. And I know, you know, sitting and coloring with her for 15 minutes was painful. Man, you’re patient.” “Well, I saw you. You had so much perseverance.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: “I know you hate math and I know you’re… you know you’re getting a C but look at you, you stuck with it, and you studied and studied and studied.” So, we looked deeply into our kids, we praise their character, we praise what Christ would praise, we let the rest go even though we’re criticized as a mom or a kids criticized. I’ll tell you something. When your kids are in their 20s, and it won’t take them longer than that, they will thank you so much because the, the parents who praise their kids for the stuff they do, they boast about taking them all around the country skiing ’cause they’re gonna be on the Junior Olympic Ski Team-

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Meeker: … those kids get what’s going on, and they get that their parents are using them to look great.

Jim: Uh.

Dr. Meeker: And those kids turn away from their parents in their early 20s because they never felt accepted and loved for who they were.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: And I said every parent needs to be able to look at their child at any age and say, “Let me tell you something. If you sat in a closet the rest of your life, I couldn’t love you any less.”

Jim: Uh, Meg that is so good. And unfortunately, this is where we have to end. And there is so much more material in your book Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture. And, you know, like we often do, John. We’re going over the surface material, but if this is speaking to your heart last time and this time, call us get a copy of the book. If you can participate with us in ministry, make a gift of any amount. We’ll send you a copy of Meg’s book as our way of saying thank you for standing with us to give other families hope. And right now, because of some very generous friends of Focus on the Family, when you send a gift, it will be matched or doubled for twice the impact.

John: MmHmm. We really need your prayers and your financial support to continue our great work of helping families and encouraging parents like we have with this conversation with Dr. Meeker. So please get in touch today. Make a donation as you can and we’ll send a copy of this book, Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture. Our website is focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: Dr. Meg Meeker, thank you again for being with us these last couple of days. It’s been great.

Dr. Meeker: Well, thank you, Jim. It’s been really, really fun.

John: And thank you for joining us today for Focus on the Family. On behalf of Jim Daly and the rest of the team here, I’m John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

Today's Guests

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Receive Dr. Meg Meeker's book Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture for your donation of any amount! And when you give today, your support will be DOUBLED to Give Families Hope!

Recent Episodes

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Taking Courageous Steps to Save Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Ann White’s marriage was in desperate trouble, but she was terrified to let anyone know. She discusses how God helped her to break through dysfunctional patterns and finally ask for help. Hear this courageous story about a marriage restored. (Part 1 of 2)

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Discovering Freedom In Your Faith

In this inspiring conversation, Gary Thomas describes the joy-filled pursuit of growing in the virtues and becoming more like Christ. Tune in to hear how foundational virtues like humility, surrender, and detachment can shape your family and relationships.

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Taking a Health Journey With Your Spouse

Dave and Ashley Willis offer tips for you and your spouse to get healthy—mind, body, and spirit. With personal stories about Ashley’s journey through anxiety and depression and Dave’s health issues, you’ll see how your overall well-being affects your relationship.

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Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

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Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

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Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you! 

Focus on the Family

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