Custom CSS of Section contains Conditional Preview for See Life Campaign Elements

Focus on the Family Broadcast

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on email
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on email

Navigating a Toxic Culture With Your Daughter (Part 1 of 2)

Navigating a Toxic Culture With Your Daughter (Part 1 of 2)

Dr. Meg Meeker explains how parents can shape their daughter's character and faith so that she can successfully navigate our culture's most difficult challenges, which include the toxic elements associated with social media, feminism, sexual identity, and more. (Part 1 of 2)
Original Air Date: March 1, 2021

Preview:

Dr. Meg Meeker: So, a healthy mother is a one who knows who she is, who knows that she’s a woman created by God, who knows that God, Christ is her everything. And if she had nothing in the world, she would be okay.

End of Preview

John Fuller: Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician and she cares deeply about the wellbeing of young girls in our rather toxic culture today. Thousands of girls have come through her office, and she’s seen the challenges and the heart ache that they and their parents often face. Dr. Meeker is our guest today on Focus on the Family. And your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly. Thanks for joining us. I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: John, today we’re going to offer help. Actually, Dr. Meeker will offer help to parents who have daughters. And that describes a lot of our listeners, probably about 50% will have daughters, maybe more. I do not have the pleasure of having a daughter, so my ears are wide open today. I do have the responsibility to prepare my boys for dating daughters and to respect them and that’s something Jean and I are certainly attempting to do with our own sons. Many young women, girls, are suffering from a, a variety of things, whether that’s eating disorders or, uh, just low self-esteem, anxiety, depression, whatever it might be. And that’s bad news and one of the reasons, again, that we wanted to bring this great content to you. The good news is that if you’re a loving, intentional parent, you can make a huge difference in your daughter’s life. And we’re gonna help you lay that foundation today.

John: And, uh, Dr. Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than 30 years. Uh, she’s, uh, written a number of books, speaks a lot. Uh, and we’re so glad to have her here today. We’re gonna be talking about a, a new book that she’s done called Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy and Safe. And we do have copies of that here at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Dr. Meg, welcome back to Focus. It is so good to see you.

Dr. Meeker: Well, thanks for having me, Jim. I really enjoy being with you and John. It- it’s just like we’re sitting at-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: … in a kitchen table, enjoying each other-

Jim: (laughs)

Dr. Meeker: … having-

Jim: That’s right.

Dr. Meeker: … coffee. And I really- and I appreciate all the work that you guys are doing-

Jim: Oh man-

Dr. Meeker: It’s a- it’s a great time in our culture to do this great work but it’s hard-

Jim: Yeah. It is hard. And I so appreciate what a great title Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture. Many parents are leaning in right now. I’m gonna start with the big question. What do we have to do as parents, uh, as moms and dads, to help our daughters survive in this toxic culture? That’s a big one.

Dr. Meeker: It’s a big one. I think that it frightens parents. I think a lot of parents, particularly younger parents that I see now, are very afraid. They’re-

Jim: Yes.

Dr. Meeker: … very afraid of what’s going on in the world in-

Jim: It’s bubble wrap time.

Dr. Meeker: It is.

Jim: And you can’t do that.

Dr. Meeker: You can’t do that. You can’t do that. And so, one of the things that parents really need to do, and this is a hard thing, I’m- I try to get parents to understand, is to really fully understand the impact that they have on their kids.

Jim: Mm.

Dr. Meeker: Because parents feel they need to send their kids other places to get good influence. Like, you know, have a soccer coach be an influencer. Maybe have the youth pastor be a good influencer. You know, the piano teacher. Um, and that’s all good. But really what it comes down to is that developing a strong, deep relationship with a father with a daughter or a mother with a daughter that’s what’s going to change that daughter and root her so that when she hits her 20s, she has her wits about her. She has a faith. And she knows who she is.

Jim: In fact, you, uh, point out in the book four key questions that moms and dads need to answer for their daughters. What are those four?

Dr. Meeker: Well, the- uh, Jim, the first question is where did I come from? And then the second is am I valuable and significant? The third is there a moral standard in the world? And finally, where am I going? Now parents will hear me say that and they’ll think, “Whoa, those are pretty existential, philosophical questions.”

Jim: Yeah. What does it mean to do those-?

Dr. Meeker: What does it mean?

Jim: … things?

Dr. Meeker: But I will tell you, most kids that I see and talk to truly don’t understand why they’re alive. And they don’t know where they came from, and they don’t know why they’re here.

Jim: Well, let’s role play. I mean, you’ve had thousands of girls come through your medical office, right?

Dr. Meeker: Yes. Yup.

Jim: So, even with your own daughters when it’s where did I come from, what do you say as a mom?

Dr. Meeker: Well, I say y- before you were born, you were crafted, created and known by a loving father. So, life for you began long before I knew you. So, you were made for a very specific purpose. And then you came to the world. And you were made to, to be in relationship.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Meeker: And to be in relationship with God and me and dad and your brothers and sisters. And even that, we know that girls are craving relationship. That’s why they’re going to social media.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: But we don’t teach them that. So, you’re born for a relationship. You’re born for a purpose that wasn’t designed by me or dad. But it was designed by God. So, let me help you walk that way. But it sounds very simple, but most girls don’t know that. They just-

Jim: Well, and have it reinforced. You know?

Dr. Meeker: Exactly.

Jim: They may be wondering about it.

Dr. Meeker: Right.

Jim: And it does address the where did I come from? Am I valuable and significant? Which is so core, in my opinion, watching daughters. Again, I don’t have daughters. But I think that’s something they seek out even more than boys-

John: Hm.

Dr. Meeker: They do-

Jim: … at that age.

Dr. Meeker: They do.

Jim: Um, but that big question is there a moral standard? You know, I’ve heard sociologists talk about the fact that women actually control the lever of the civility in a culture.

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Because they tame- and I don’t mean to reduce this to instincts or anything like that. But women influence men heavily-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … and they have a number of assets to do that. Intimacy, emotionally. Intimacy physically.

Dr. Meeker: Right.

Jim: Women are the control factor.

Dr. Meeker: Right.

Jim: They’re the ones that either say yes or no. So that question, is there a moral standard, is so critical to a daughter. How do you answer that one?

Dr. Meeker: Well, because girls don’t feel there is one because-

Jim: Well, they’re told there isn’t.

Dr. Meeker: … they’re told there isn’t one and I saw the shift of the moral standard from the 1970s to the 80s and 90s- Old enough to have seen what happened where- when women were said, um, “You don’t have to go this way. It’s fine- y- you know, with the sexual revolution, you can say yes to anything. It’s your choice.” But really, it ended up exploiting women terribly. So, but what I’m trying to say in the book is as adults, we can work through, okay, we don’t have a moral culture, but I have moral standards. This is what I wanna do. But kids can’t. Kids are very concrete thinkers. Okay, well, if that girl says … Um, if she’s in the third grade and she comes in and her name is Tammy. And the teacher says now she’s Tommy. And I don’t understand this then something’s wrong with me. And they, they lose their way.

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Meeker: They lose the ability to say, “What am I seeing? What is right? What is wrong? What is up and what is down?” And it’s very, very confusing for them because they, they need a path to stay on and move forward. And when you take that path away, they literally feel like they’re floating in no man’s land.

Jim: Right. And they’re easy prey for-

Dr. Meeker: Easy, easy prey-

Jim: … a culture that is looking to devour them-

Dr. Meeker: Exactly.

Jim: … if I could say it that way. The evil-

Dr. Meeker: Yes.

Jim: … in the culture.

Dr. Meeker: Exactly.

Jim: Meg, let me … And we’re gonna get to more of those cultural dynamics but- as we go through the content of your great book. But let me ask you about that fundamental thing which is that daughter, that mother relationship and some of the conflict that exists there. What are those common things that you’ve seen as a pediatrician in your office where that mother/daughter conflict exists? When you’re with that daughter, quietly at 14, 15 and you’re asking those doctor questions and she begins to tell you, what do you hear at the core of those mother/daughter conflicts?

Dr. Meeker: Well, that’s very interesting, uh, because I hear a lot and I like to tell the girls’ stories. One of the things that girls of all ages will tell me in private is they feel that their moms are trying to move into a space they don’t want them.

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Meeker: They’re trying to move in with their friends. They’re trying to move in- I’ve had a lot of girls say, “I am so embarrassed when my mom writes on my Facebook page. Or my mom, you know, is in Instagram-

Jim: (laughs)

Dr. Meeker: … or talking about me.” And so, they feel that these boundaries that they want as a young girl, or particularly as a teenage daughter, to them it’s creepy when mom moves into her space, wants to be her friends’ best friends. And they feel a competitiveness with their mother. And they don’t want that.

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Meeker: And it’s- and I sense mothers being competitive with their daughters, though they don’t know it. And this is the whole problem with the mothers wanting to be their kids’ best friends. Moms with a 16, 17-year-old daughter, want to wear their daughter’s clothes. And they wanna boast about it. And I say, “Don’t do that. Go out and buy a pair of mom jeans.”

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: Please. Because it’s her day. You need to be the older, wiser person that is not cool. Because-

Jim: (laughs)

Dr. Meeker: … she-

Jim: Aim to be not cool.

John: Some of us don’t have to work really hard at that. (laughter)

Dr. Meeker: Yeah. And i- and I, you know, whenever I talk to kids, I would go sometimes in the inner city and talk to these eighth graders. And I’d walk in when my Talbots pants or skirt on-

Jim: (laughs)

Dr. Meeker: … and I’d say, “Guys, I don’t look like you. I don’t wanna look like you. I’m older than you. But let’s just talk.” And you know, kids just love it when you sort of say-

Jim: It’s honest.

Dr. Meeker: … it’s honest.

Jim: Yeah. You’re not trying to be them.

Dr. Meeker: I’m not trying to be cool.

Jim: Well-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: … and Meg, in fact, in the book, you, you mention these four mom types that … And I’m just talking to Jean as we were preparing for this, but you mentioned needy mom, controlling mom, distant mom, and best friend mom. And you’ve hit the best friend mom.

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And Jean said, “What’s the healthy mom?” (laughs) And I said, I really, I said, “I don’t know if it’s you’re ping ponging between these four or what?”

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: You know, w- with those, I mean, they’re self-evident. Needy mom, that emotional need. And then controlling mom. I think a lot of moms, regardless if they have sons or daughters, it’s a natural mom instinct to be a bit more controlling. ‘Cause they fear the environment-

Dr. Meeker: Right.

Jim: … that their kids are in. Then that distant mom, see ya later. You know? Do whatever-

Dr. Meeker: Right.

Jim: … you’re gonna do. I grew up that way. I didn’t have strong parents. And you could do it too.

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And I’ll see you next Saturday. And then as you described, the best friend mom. But i- what’s the healthy mom look like?

John: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: The healthy mom, and that’s a great point, I should’ve put that in there.

Jim: (laughs)

Dr. Meeker: But I think the reason I put those in there is because each of us mothers has a little bit of each in there.

Jim: Yeah. It’s 100% of moms are gonna fall into that pit-

Dr. Meeker: Exactly. And you’re gonna identify. But what you wanna do, for instance, is if you feel you’re a needy mom and you know you’re a needy mom, and I hear mothers of 25, 30-year-olds saying, “My kids need me.” And I say, “They really don’t.” And they find it very offensive. The needy mom is the one who constantly is overseeing every minute detail in the child’s life because it makes her feel better. And so, once she begins to identify that, then she can say, “Wait a minute. I don’t need my kids. I don’t need my kids.”

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Meeker: “The kids need me to do things, but I don’t need them.” And then once you reconcile that, then you become a, a healthy mom because something shifts in your relationship. If you feel you’re a distant mom, and often we mothers are one of these things because we come into our parenting with a preload-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: … our own parenting. If we’re a distant mom and we’re uncomfortable with our daughters and we don’t want to t- we’re constantly putting our daughter’s off, once we learn to break that, then we’re a healthy mom. So, a healthy mother is one who knows who she is, who knows that she’s a woman created by God, who knows that God, Christ is her everything-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: … and if she had nothing in the world, she didn’t have a home, she didn’t have a husband, she didn’t have her children because they all died, she would be okay.

Jim: Yeah. Meg, let me ask you for the mom who is going, “Wow. I think I’m at least one of those four-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: … maybe three of the four, maybe four of the four.” What can she do differently? How does she communicate in a healthy way with her daughter? Do you sit down and say, “Honey, I may have done some things that have been damaging to our relationship.”

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: “And I have done that unintentionally.”

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: “But I heard this program today and-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: … have I tried to be your friend’s friend? Has that been embarrassing to you?”

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: I mean, I’m assuming that’s what you can do. But is it good to be that bold?

Dr. Meeker: It is. And one of the things I’ll do with our kids and even as adult kids, because I’ll notice after certain conversations, they’ll, you know, they’ll throw darts at me and they’re adult women. And so, I’ll go to them and say, you know, “Clearly something I’m doing is irritating to you. And I don’t wanna be that way. Could you tell me what that is?”

Jim: Yeah, be honest-

Dr. Meeker: And often- Be honest.

Jim: Yeah. (laughing)

Dr. Meeker: What is it? But here’s the hard part. When your kids tell you that-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: … it’s really painful because-

Jim: And don’t strike back-

Dr. Meeker: Don’t strike back-

Jim: … emotionally.

Dr. Meeker: You say, “Thank you so much.” And then change that. Because a lot of that comes through our conversation with our daughters. You know, we don’t realize our tone. We don’t realize the words we’re saying. We don’t realize what we’re communicating-

Jim: (laughs)

Dr. Meeker: … to our daughters.

Jim: I’m laughing ’cause dads do the same thing, right?

Dr. Meeker: Do they? Yeah, yeah.

Jim: (laughs)

Dr. Meeker: But in general, I think dads are a little bit better listener. But what the mother will tend to do, and I’ve done this a million times, you ask your daughter a question. She starts to tell you, her answer. And halfway through her answer, we’re formulating-

Jim: (laughs)

Dr. Meeker: … our correction of that answer. And we start it as soon as she stops. And what the daughter gets is you could care less about anything I, I have to say. You have an agenda, mom. You’re trying to push me in one direction. So, listening and- but listening and particularly listening to what your girls have to say about you and their relationship with you, is critical to a healthy relationship. But you have to be a strong enough adult to take it and say, “Thank you so much. I’m going to … From now on, I’m not gonna wear any of your clothes. And it’s your day. And I’m gonna back off with you and your friends. I’m not gonna write on your Facebook page or whatever.” And be okay with that.

John: Mm.

Jim: You know, Meg, what’s so awesome and i- of course we’re touching on those things where you can improve as you’re listening and you’re going, “Wow, yeah. I’m one of the four. I’ve got that behavior.” But the good news is, your daughters are looking to you for that unique input a mother, and only a mother-

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … can provide. Speaking to that healthiness though in that relationship. When it’s working well, what is a mom truly providing their daughters?

Dr. Meeker: Uh, that’s a great question. Mom really is a- a loving mentor. First of all, she’s showing the daughter how to live. But I think that a health mother is one who knows how to love her daughter well as an adult to a child. And a healthy mother is one, and this is so critically important, that understand that we are to discipline our daughters because discipline is what teachers them self-control. I see so many mothers don’t wanna t- correct their kids and say, “Here’s what you should do is right. Here’s what you shouldn’t do is wrong.” And they say, “I’m gonna let my child pick his way because they need to express themselves.”

Dr. Meeker: And I say, “Look. If I just sort of let myself go according to my instincts, I’d weigh 400 pounds and I’d sit and watch, you know, Monk reruns all day long.”

Jim: (laughs)

Dr. Meeker: That’s not the way you live in life. So, you’ve gotta early on teach your kids, “No, you don’t talk to me like that-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: … when you’re three. You need self-control.” But a lot of mothers, in particular, and this is- I see this routinely in the majority of my patients, don’t wanna tell their daughters, “No, you can’t do that.” And mean it. Uh, because they, they just don’t wanna get a strangle hold on their daughters and they think it’s bad for them. You have to teach your daughters how to say no. And they have to hear it from you. Because if they don’t hear you say, “No, you can’t do that.” Guess what? That- when they’re 14 or 15 or 16, they’re not gonna be able to say to somebody, “No you can’t do that.” So, you teach them boundaries for themselves so that they can set boundaries when they really need to do that.

John: Mm-hmm. Yeah. This is Focus on the Family, uh, with Jim Daly. And our guest today is Dr. Meg Meeker. And we’re talking about some of the core concepts in her book Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture. And, uh, we encourage you to get a copy of that book from us here at Focus on the Family. Our number is 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY.

Jim: M- Meg, how did your own mother influence you and become a mentor to you? Did it start rough and get better? Or was it pretty good the whole way?

Dr. Meeker: You know, my relationship with my mother was pretty good the whole way. And I will tell you, my mother was always clear about the fact that she was the grown up. And my dad supported that she was the grown up. And I don’t mean c- this to come across in a weird way. But I had a little bit of fear of my mother.

Jim: Uh-huh.

Dr. Meeker: But my mother, um, had a- had a rough childhood. She said she grew up at 14. Um, she learned to drive at 14 beca- you know, and I had so much respect for my mother.

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Meeker: Um, there were things she’d do and things she didn’t do. She was always very open and warm with my friends. But she never m- moved into territory, um-

Jim: So, she modeled it well.

Dr. Meeker: Oh, she modeled it-

Jim: She, she did find that-

Dr. Meeker: … really well.

Jim: … healthy mother spot.

Dr. Meeker: And my mother, my mother and my dad went through some really, really rough periods in their lives, you know, financial, this kind of a thing. And my mother had guts. And she stuck with it. And I thought, and I think now, “If my mom can do that and stick with that, I can do anything.”

Jim: Yeah. Let me ask this question because someone might write or call us, uh, the difference with the father’s influence. We haven’t talked about that. I d- I wanna get one question in there. How is a-

Dr. Meeker: Sure.

Jim: … father’s influence with a daughter different from mom’s influence?

Dr. Meeker: I expected my mom to support and love everything I did. Um, but I didn’t always expect that from my dad. Because as much as I respected and, uh, feared my mom a little bit, she was the comfy person. My dad was a very strong person. And I respected him in a different way. So, I felt that if I excelled at something and dad said, “Good job.” It was a good job. If I excelled at something and mom said, “Good job.” In my mind, “You have to say that.”

Jim: It’s mom. (laughing)

Dr. Meeker: It’s mom!

John: I’ve heard my girls actually say that to Dena, is, “Mom, you’ve gotta say that.

Dr. Meeker: You’ve gotta say that. And, and, and she didn’t, but that’s how we perceive it. So-

Jim: Well, it’s the loving heart of a mother. I mean-

Dr. Meeker: It is!

Jim: … moms do that.

Dr. Meeker: It is.

Jim: In fact, though, you have a story about your dad, that protector, which I really appreciated. If I had a daughter, I would want to be that kind of father to my daughter.

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: But, uh, I guess a boyfriend took you to a movie that was not the right rating, and it was risqué-

Dr. Meeker: Ugh.

Jim: … and what happened?

Dr. Meeker: Ugh. This kind of thing happened repeatedly. Uh, I was 16. An 18-year-old boy came over, which you should never let your 16-year-old daughter, um, date an 18-year-old boy. But he was kinda immature. Anyway, we went to a movie. My dad was up. He was always awake when I came home from somewhere, particularly with a boy. And said, “Hey, d- how’d you like the movie? What did you see?” And I told him. And the minute I told him, he jumped up- up off the couch. He looked at the young man. And the young man needed to use our restroom.

Jim: Oh no (laughing).

Dr. Meeker: Badly. And he said- and my dad said, “Out. You’re out.” And he said, “Can I just use the restroom?” He said, “Oh no, you can’t. Out.”

Jim: Meg, we’re, uh, winding into the end here. And we’re gonna have you back next time to continue the discussion. But I do wanna hit the idea of feminism because you talk about that, going to med school and, you know, embracing some of the feminist ideology. Uh, in fact you considered yourself a feminist in college. Describe what that was like. And I think, you know, even today with the church, so much of feminism has seeped in. Some of it is good, to be able to be strong and to stand on your own two feet. There’s many examples of Christian businesswomen, and Priscilla comes to mind. Um, so what, what are the good things from feminism and what should the church and moms, particularly, be looking out for with their daughters?

Dr. Meeker: Well, I think we’ve completely misunderstood what feminism about because Jesus was the original feminist. Look at how he treated women.

Jim: Yeah. But give us the context for that statement because people may not catch that-

Dr. Meeker: Okay.

Jim: … and understand that.

Dr. Meeker: Jesus looked at women as being completely in the exact same value as men. He didn’t see race and sex-

Jim: Oh, that’s good.

Dr. Meeker: They were all … If somebody says, you know, the, the ground is level at the foot of the cross-

Jim: They weren’t lesser.

Dr. Meeker: They weren’t lesser. They were beautiful. He revered them. In places where He thought they were being put down, He raised them up. So, he adored women. He adored men. But here’s what happened with the feminist revolution. ‘Cause I was right in the heart of it in, um, in the 1970s. Gloria Steinem and Betty Friedan said, “You can do it. You can do it.” But our goal was to beat men. It wasn’t to be better selves. It was to beat men. So, there was an underlying anger that we were taught to have-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Meeker: … and that was to grow if we were to be successful. And that’s not healthy. But we didn’t recognize it at the time. We had the right to have an abortion if we wanted to. We had the right, um, to push men out of the way if we wanted to. I saw some of my colleagues say the worst things to men. And how skewed is that? And again, we’re seeing that in other places in our culture. That if one person wants to elevate who they are racially or gender or whatever, it necessarily in their mind means you have to squash the other.

Jim: It comes from a source of anger.

Dr. Meeker: Of anger.

Jim: Yeah, that’s amazing.

Dr. Meeker: And it- that’s never healthy. And that’s where the feminist revolution really took our young girls in the wrong direction. It wasn’t, you’re not to compete with men. You are as strong. You are as capable. And that’s how I got through medical school, I think, in a very healthy way. Because my dad always treated me that-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Meeker: You can’t change the internet. You can’t change these things. But you can raise a very strong daughter in a mess. And, and have a strong daughter who can answer those, you know, four questions, who knows why she’s alive, where she comes from and where she’s doing.

Jim: Yeah. And Meg, let me ask you this to. We did a, a film called Irreplaceable a, a few years ago. And we filmed people from around the country, different perspectives, different Christian traditions as well. But there was one woman, Frederica Matthews Green, and she said something so powerful. It was the golden nugget in the entire film from my perspective. And she was like your peer at that time in the 70s and working as a feminist and believing all of it. And she said, “What we were hoping for was acceptance. And what we got was abandonment.”

Dr. Meeker: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And you think of that in the sexual revolution context and abortion and freeing men from the responsibility of childbearing, uh, it was a disaster-

Dr. Meeker: It was a disaster-

Jim: … for the culture, for the definition of family. We’re reaping still-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: … the whirlwind of all of that mayhem.

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: Speak to that issue of we were hoping for acceptance, which is such a woman’s heart.

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: I- back to your four questions.

Dr. Meeker: Exactly.

Jim: Am I acceptable to you?

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: And then what they got was abandonment from men.

Dr. Meeker: Right.

Jim: ‘Cause men got what they wanted.

Dr. Meeker: Yeah. Exactly. And I remember a colleague of mine. I’ll never forget where we were standing on a hall in our college saying, you know what? Whatever men have, we’re gonna take it.

Jim: Huh.

Dr. Meeker: You know? But we took the worst. We took the worst. And it was the same kind of thing. We wanted the best, but we took the worst. What we were trying for was to feel valuable and to get our value through our work, our- you know, money that we could make. And the only way we saw to do that was to push everybody to the side and to crush them. But what we didn’t realize at the time is breaking down a lot of barriers, we exploited ourselves. And now we’re exploiting our children. So, in our quest to find something better and to feel better about ourselves, we destroyed ourselves.

Jim: Yeah. I mean, that’s powerful. And that’s why eyes wide open is a good way to go here for moms-

Dr. Meeker: Yeah.

Jim: … wanting to raise their daughters-

Dr. Meeker: Yes.

Jim: … in a healthier environment.

Dr. Meeker: So, you teach them to be strong in character. Teach them why they have value. Um, and teach them why they were put here on earth. And then teach them strong women don’t need to hate.

Jim: Yeah. That is so good. And, uh, Dr. Meg, we’re gonna come back next time and keep the conversation going. Uh, can you do that?

Dr. Meeker: I’d love to-

Jim: Okay. Good. And we’re gonna bring some of those great tools from your book, Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture, to help equip moms to have a more predictive model. Uh, you know, the holidays can be a difficult time for families. We know there are many parents struggling, and we want to be here for you to bring encouragement every day. Your support of Focus on the Family gives families hope. And if you can help us today with the gift of any amount, we’ll send you Meg’s wonderful book as our way of saying thank you for participating in the ministry. And right now, because of some generous friends of Focus, your gift will be doubled for twice the impact. $20 becomes $40. $50 becomes $100. And I think you get the idea. It’s just a fun way to spur on giving and putting the fuel into the tank here at Focus on the Family.

John: Donate as you can and get a copy of this great book. Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY or online we’re at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team here, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

Today's Guests

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Receive Dr. Meg Meeker's book Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture for your donation of any amount! And when you give today, your support will be DOUBLED to Give Families Hope!

Recent Episodes

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

The Greatest of These is Love (Part 2 of 2)

Dutch watchmaker Corrie ten Boom explains how she got involved in hiding Jews from the Nazis, how she survived years in a concentration camp, and how the Lord helped her forgive her captors. (Part 2 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

The Greatest of These is Love (Part 1 of 2)

Dutch watchmaker Corrie ten Boom explains how she got involved in hiding Jews from the Nazis, how she survived years in a concentration camp, and how the Lord helped her forgive her captors. (Part 1 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Finding True Joy in Blessing Others

Becky Kopitzke encourages you to find small, simple ways to bless those around you. Through personal stories and practical tips, she explores the Four P’s of blessing others with your presence, your possessions, your perspective and your prayers.

You May Also Like

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Avoiding Shame-Based Parenting

Psychologist Dr. Kelly Flanagan discusses the origins of shame, the search for self-worth in all the wrong places, and the importance of extending grace to ourselves. He also explains how parents can help their kids find their own sense of self-worth, belonging and purpose.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Becoming a Clutter-Free Family

Joshua Becker discusses the benefits a family can experience if they reduce the amount of “stuff” they have and simplify their lives. He addresses parents in particular, explaining how they can set healthy boundaries on how much stuff their kids have, and establish new habits regarding the possession of toys, clothes, artwork, gifts and more.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!