Mom #1: I think the biggest way in which my life has changed since I’ve become a mom is that I can no longer ever in my life be first.
Mom #2: Oh, what I thought was busy before I had children, I had no concept of what it really is.
Mom #3: The biggest change is that my time is not my own now. It belongs to my family.
Mom #4: I never realized how selfish I was until I had my own children.
Mom #5: I had the ability to remember a lot of numbers and other details. And when I had children, my memory cells are now used for other things, and I can’t remember nothing.
End of Teaser
Jim Daly: Can I – I can be a husband and father and have that one, right?
John Fuller: I think a lot of us can relate to that, but that is especially the challenge of a mom. And…
John: …Maybe you’ve had some thoughts and feelings like those in your own motherhood journey. This is Focus on the Family, and we’re going to explore some of the challenges and joys of being a mom and give you some wonderful encouragement along the way. I’m John Fuller, and your host is Focus president and author Jim Daly.
Jim: John, I’m ready to make a declaration. We love moms at Focus on the Family. And that’s about, you know, 70 percent of the audience. So we always want to connect with you. And today is that program where we plan and hope to connect directly with you. In fact, we have a wonderful guest – Sarah Parshall Perry. She’s written this wonderful book – Mommy Needs a Raise. OK, I heard it. Did you hear it? Everybody just said, “Amen.” (LAUGHTER) Amen, brother!
John: Moms are leaning in on that one.
Jim: (Laughter) And, uh, we want to talk about those things that, uh, you know, sometimes are difficult; they’re a struggle.
And we want to urge husbands and men to listen in, too, because this is a great opportunity to learn more about how your wife, the mother of your children, how she’s thinking. And, uh, that is a good thing – a little insider information. So, uh, sit back, grab a cup of tea or coffee, and let’s talk to Sarah.
John: And she is an author and a mom, and, uh, she’s been a lawyer and a professor. And she and her husband Matt have three children – Noah, Grace and Jessie. And as you said, Jim, the book is Mommy Needs a Raise (Because Quitting’s Not an Option). And we do have (LAUGHTER) copies of that at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
Jim: Sarah, welcome to Focus.
Sarah Parshall Perry: Thank you for having me.
Jim: Now, you say quitting’s not an option, but I think in your book – I’ll just start right here, (Laughter) there was a day in your mommy-hood that you yelled something. And what was that?
Sarah: Uh, it was, “I quit.” (Laughter) “I don’t want to mother anymore.” And unfortunately, because of the circumstances of that day – uh, my husband, who travels frequently for work, was gone. There were three children with the stomach flu, and I had one of them in the bathtub…
Jim: Oh, my goodness.
Sarah: …When the shower curtain collapsed on both of us. And he was fine, but it was at that point, where I hadn’t slept or showered in three days, that I said, “I quit!” (Laughter) “I cannot do this anymore” (laughter)
Jim: And what did your son say?
Sarah: Uh, “Too bad. You gotta do this.” (LAUGHTER)
Jim: He’s – he’s – he’s a taskmaster.
Sarah: Yes, he is.
Jim: “You gotta do this, Mommy.”
Sarah: And this was followed, probably a few weeks later, by a question. (Laughter) “So what do you do, Mom? Are you like a maid or a babysitter?” And after thinking, I said, “Well, kind of a little bit of both.” So…
Jim: (Laughter) Right. A gentle answer.
Sarah: There you go!
Jim: But now…
Sarah: There you go.
Jim: …You know, some moms hearing what John just described – you’re, uh, a lawyer, you trained – you, I mean you sound like you achieve things corporately and in a career. Uh, talk about that angst between the two. I mean, you’re in a professional environment…
Jim: …Driving toward a goal, prepping witnesses or whatever you’re doing…
Jim: …As an attorney, going after the bad people. And then here you become a mom, and you decide, I think, wonderfully – thank you – congratulations – you see the most important job – raising your kids.
Jim: And how different is it? (Laughter).
Sarah: Oh, my gosh. Well, I tell you what – it was so different that I had to write a book about it. (Laughter) I couldn’t find any other stories about a mom who had had children later in life. So my first was at 30. And I was done at almost 36. So I had spent so much time in, um, undergrad and in graduate school and then in the workforce that by the time I came around to staying home with kids, my entire world was thrown upside down. You know, you think you’re going to be better prepared the older you are, the more books you read…
Jim: Sounds good.
Sarah: Right. (Laughter) And yet, it is the one profession for which you cannot prepare by reading or studying. It must be experienced to become proficient. I was not used to that.
Sarah: I was very good at reading what I needed to read and preparing everything that I could control. I’m sure it does not surprise you I’m a bit of a control freak based on (Laughter) what you’ve just read.
Jim: It’s perfect for a mom.
Sarah: It’s (Laughter) perfect. Right. There’s absolutely…
John: What could go wrong?
Sarah: …No conflict. (Laughter) Right.
Jim: That works.
Sarah: And, uh, I realized very quickly it was like jumping out of an airplane without a parachute and trusting God to catch the fall. So…
Jim: (Laughter) Oh, man!
Sarah: …That was – that was the change.
Jim: That sounds a little desperate. /04:37
Sarah: Right! (LAUGHTER)
Jim: I’m just saying.
Sarah: There were some desperate moments, but I will tell you, I think I struggled so much with the question of how to value what I did during the course of these repetitive days that that, for me, was sort of incentive enough to write the book. Because…
Sarah: …I couldn’t manage that divide between, OK, I get a paycheck and a pension and a 401(k), and I get accolades. And then suddenly, you have little people, and you’re not always thanked for the grilled cheese. So that – that has a tendency to reorient your thinking.
Jim: Especially when half of it’s on you!
Sarah: Right. (LAUGHTER) Sarah: Right.
Jim: Hey, I want to go to a story that you used. I mean, it’s a serious story – the Donner Party. You’ve compared…
Jim: …The Donner Party, which…
John: The grisly story.
Jim: …Some people, you know, may not know about. (Laughter) I grew up in California, so the Donner Party’s like…
Sarah: So you get it.
Jim: …You know, third grade history class. You get it…
Jim: …Right out of the chute. But parenting and motherhood like the Donner Party. (Laughter) First, explain the Donner Party. Then…
Sarah: Well, I – I will tell you during the California gold rush, there were a series of settlers who were trying to come from the deep west out to California to more temperate climates to make their fortune. And they decided…
Jim: That still goes on today.
Sarah: It does! (Laughter) It does, indeed, um, not always well-founded. But, um, they decided they were going to take a shortcut through a pass that no one really had any experience with. And during the course of the shortcut, they were surprised by a blizzard.
And the blizzard ended up wiping out almost the entirety of their party. And so they were down to base cannibalism…
Jim: To survive.
Sarah: …To survive.
Sarah: Now, the theory here is not that motherhood is like cannibalism, OK? Um, but it is so surprising. It is something for which you wholly cannot prepare for. It is truly one of those trusting, faith-filled experiences where everything you can do beforehand – all of the books you read, all of the personality profiles that you can take, all of the perfect cribs and swings and bedding and all of the wipes, warmers and toys that they tell you about – do not prepare you for what it ultimately is like. And so the nature of surprise was such a huge theme in my life because none of this I saw coming. I thought I did, but ironically, after spending so much time in a different environment, I was as ill-prepared as anyone else to have kids.
Jim: So the blizzard of parenting…
Sarah: The blizzard…
Jim: …Is maybe the analogy.
Sarah: …Of parenting, the surprise.
Jim: And try not to die doing it…
Sarah: Right. Right! (LAUGHTER)
Jim: …Is the other side of the story there.
Sarah: You will… (LAUGHTER) If you – if you just – if you walk out in faith…
Sarah: …And commit to the Lord, you will make it to the other side.
Jim: Now, this gets us into the content of this great book. Uh, how do we make the mundane – how does a mother make that mundane routine of motherhood – the sandwiches, you know, getting the kids out the door – oh, then you turn around, and you’ve got all this stuff you’ve gotta clean up or take care of and – how do you make that enticing? (Laughter).
Jim: How do you make that something you can get up for everyday and…
Jim: …Feel like you’re contributing?
Sarah: I tell you what I had to do is I had to transfer the notion of value.
So, value was very concrete. It went from very predictable and specific and concrete to nonspecific and nonpredictable. And so I had to look beyond the daily doing of things, right? We, as moms, accomplish so much, but we have very little to show for it, right? So it’s the same laundry, and it’s the same dishes, and it’s the same dressing and bathing and putting to sleep.
And so if you’re looking strictly at a task-based system, you will be very, very quickly frustrated. And so you have to look underneath those tasks to see the value in the stage that you’re in with the people that you’re raising. So you’re going to feel very sort of unsubstantiated in the work that you do, and there will be a phase where it will feel very repetitive. It will feel very limiting. And yet, you have to say to yourself the value that I have are these little people…
Sarah: …That God has entrusted me with. They are the value of what I’m doing.
Jim: Right. In fact, you say in the book there’s these bonuses that moms get.
Jim: I love this.
Jim: And this is the positive aspect of it, but they’re kind of wrapped up in glimpses of heaven…
Jim: …You call them. Describe some of those.
Sarah: Oh, my goodness. (Laughter) Well, you know, I have this – this infatuation with my children. Um, and it drives them crazy because even my 14-year-old, he walks in the door, and I just…
Sarah: …Squeeze and hug and kiss him, and he can’t stand it. And I do it anyway.
Sarah: I think as long as you’re under my roof, too bad, this is what you signed (Laughter) on for, right?
Jim: Just never at school!
Sarah: Yes. (LAUGHTER) And – and let me tell you, there are moments, and it’s almost as though the Lord’s – the Lord’s got a sense of when a mom needs encouragement most. And so He uses these children as his vessels, right?
Sarah: And He allows His glory to shine through them. And …
And I’m telling you I’ve had moments where I have been saying prayers with my kids, and I get the youngest to wrap his arms around my neck and say, “You’re the best mama in the whole world.”
Jim: Oh (laughter).
Sarah: And I think, that’s it.
Sarah: You could not give me a raise, an accolade, a published account, anything – you could elect me president – this makes me happier. This – this is truly that experience where you think it’s unprompted. And all of the virtue of that investment of time and energy that seems to be for naught, it is ultimately for further payout, right? We are looking farther into the future, trusting God with the outcome, doing the hard work today. So when God goes, “I’m gonna give you a little look-see into what that ultimate outcome is and the person you’re raising and the way I’m going to use him,” you go, “Oh, Lord, thank you.”
In fact, uh, you said something in your book. This is probably the question because it was the insight that I saw, and that was, um, this statement – that a woman’s husband and children are more just her family, they’re an extension of her relationship with God.
Jim: Wow. Wow! What were you driving at? Because that’s just one of those stop-and-read-that-two-or-three-times moments.
Sarah: Boy, I tell you what – it was not until, um, I had a family of my own that I realized the depth of Christ’s love for us. I am convinced it is the closest that we come, while we’re on this Earth, to seeing that glory, to loving these people, to be willing to sacrifice for another person. I look at my children, and I think, yes, I would take a bullet for that person. Yes, I would jump in front of a train for that person. And you think if this is how much I love my family, how much more must Christ loved us?
And so it was really a defining moment for me. It was, in a way, a step toward understanding myself better in Christ because I understood how deep His love was for me because I saw how deep my love was for my children.
Jim: Sarah, the follow-up – the natural follow-up is the wife and the mother listening right now who doesn’t feel that way. She’s bitter. Um, she doesn’t feel like this is any kind of extension of God in my relationships with my husband or my family. She feels isolated maybe. Maybe she stopped doing her profession, her vocation, which she derived a lot of meaning from. She’s become that 30-something mom, maybe 40-something mom. And it’s not gone that well. What do you say to her about getting focused on the right things? And how do you do that?
Sarah: I think…
Jim: It’s a big question.
Sarah: Yes. You know, for as much as we are reminded to live in the present, this is one circumstance in which I would say have an eye toward the future.
What you’re doing now will not always result in immediate payoff. And sometimes we get those glimpses of heaven where we see siblings forgive one another, or we get that word of encouragement or a thank-you note, or a you’re-my-hero note. And you think, thank you, Lord, I so needed this in this present moment. But taking your – your gaze toward the future and saying, “Lord, what I’m doing now seems hard, and it seems useless and pointless, it seems repetitive” – but once I see the value of what I’m doing now, that transition to future payout, boy, that will change so much about the value of what you’re doing.
Jim: Well, in addition to that, though, is that – and if I could be bold enough – and we all have it – selfishness.
Jim: I mean, that really is what that – that is pointing to. And people are probably, you know, ugh!, even when I said that because it’s hitting a raw nerve…
Jim: …As a mom and as a dad. But more so as a mom, there’s that having to lay your life down for others every day.
Sarah: Yes. Oh, my gosh, and let me tell you, there were not – you know, I say this – this is one of those I am a broken vessel, right? I love that verse from Second Corinthians. I – I am a busted clay vessel, right? And let me tell you, I am willing to tell anyone about my cracks. And there were many an evening (Laughter) where I laid in bed grousing, thinking my husband doesn’t appreciate this work, my children don’t appreciate this work, he’s gone all the time, I have the hard work. We had just moved into a new house. I had these crawling babies around my ankles, like the sand monster from the Star Wars movies. I thought that’s it, I’m not gonna make it another day. I can’t do it. And I had gone from this perfectly predictable life to feeling like, Lord, all of this work I’m doing is for naught, and I really just need a break.
And it’s when I realized that the Lord gives children to women for a reason – He wires us in such a way that there is that nature of inherent sacrifice in us. And He uses us for the completion of a miracle.
When you say to yourself – when you realize that it is through a woman, through motherhood, that He brought His son into the world in the first place – He could have chosen any other vessel to have been part of that legacy – to me, helped me step outside where I was in that instance and go, OK, Lord, I feel selfish right now, but I have something not everybody gets to experience. And there are women who pray for this for years who don’t get to experience this. And having that gratitude, taking it away from I hate this temporary uncomfortableness and going, “Lord, you have given me an opportunity to participate in a miracle,” that helped me tremendously.
Jim: Wow, that is hope.
John: Sarah Parshall Perry is talking with us today on Focus on the Family. Uh, your host is Jim Daly. And Sarah’s book is Mommy Needs a Raise: Because Quitting’s Not an Option. (Laughter)
Jim: Love it!
John: And my goodness, we’ve covered the joys and some of the heartaches of being a mom. And there’s more here in just a moment. But let me tell you to get a copy of this book – but let me encourage you to get a copy of this book from us at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Or call and, uh, make a donation, request a copy. And if you have questions, uh, we have answers. Our number is 800, the letter A and the word family – 800-232-6459.
Jim: Sarah – uh, let me just turn to everybody. OK, Moms, roll your sleeves up. We’re gonna get into the hard stuff now. (LAUGHTER) That wasn’t hard enough!
Sarah: Oh, that was the easy stuff?
Jim: Yeah, that was the easy stuff.
Sarah: Now we’re in trouble!
Jim: Um, there was a chapter in your book, uh, where you talk about what you called mean moms.
Jim: And you said women – these are women who shame each other over how perfect their families are and why their parenting, uh, method is best. And you guys constantly compare notes.
Jim: I’m sure you do it throughout the day.
Sarah: Oh, yes! (LAUGHTER) Yes.
Jim: So what – what is this mean mom thing? And – and what would you want to say to the mean mom listening?
Sarah: Oh, my gosh, well, here’s what I – here’s what I believe – first of all, I don’t think we women, we mothers in Christendom, are any less subject to this problem, right? This issue of comparison is sort of spotlighted in this journey of motherhood. And I think it’s because we go from such a myriad of different perspectives and professions and life experiences to this one thing we all share in common.
An it’s this way of parenting and stewarding this one thing that makes us feel as though we have a better way of doing it. And so that ultimately stems from our insecurities, doesn’t it? It’s a – it’s a…
Sarah: It’s a question of how we see ourselves and what we worry about in our own journeys. Because parenting is – it is a journey that can be fraught with insecurity. Every decision you make – is this the right one? Am I doing something wrong? Did I make a mistake here?
And so when you amplify that, and you put that in a group of women, who’ve all made the same decision to have children in the first place, and yet they all have different ways of doing things, you really take those insecurities and you magnify all of them. So I think we have a tendency to do it in the church, as well. And I – I have a tendency to specifically seek out women who don’t promote that kind of a perspective, who are very open about their brokenness and their flaws. And…
Let me tell you, I’m not great about PTA meetings. I’m a PTA member. I don’t come to all the meetings. (Laughter) And I will tell you this – I don’t bake for the meetings. I will send you store-bought cookies. And that’s what I will do. And let me tell you, sometimes homework is “Jesse, sit next to me. We’re gonna read together, and I’m gonna give you a pass-over.” It’s not two hours of instruction after school, which some moms do.
I have never posted anything on Pinterest. I never will because I cannot cook or decorate like that! (LAUGHTER) And let me tell you, I have shown up to school in my pajamas. And I walked in the front door, and then I had the secretary tell me, you know, “You could have just dropped him off in the car line.” And I said (Laughter) “But, ladies, you would have missed the show.” (LAUGHTER)
Jim: Yeah, that’s good.
Jim: I could see, as an attorney, you probably have the urge to yell, “Objection”…
Sarah: Yeah! (laughter)
Jim: …At those PTA meetings.
Sarah: Yes, exactly.
Jim: I object. I can hear that now. (Laughter)
Hey, let me – let me ask you this, too – um, you mention the book, uh, this concept, and I want you to explain it – why the kindest mothers you know are also the most secure.
Sarah: Oh, yes.
Jim: That’s a beautiful statement. Connect those dots between kindness and security.
Sarah: Um, I think it goes for how we parent, as well as our relationships with our children. And that nature of kindness and security in one’s self allows us to be kind to other women who may have made different choices or who may be acting out or acting catty by virtue of their own insecurities. And it’s given me, after these years – these 14 years on this parenting journey – an ability to recognize when somebody who presents a perfect image might actually be struggling with something behind the scenes.
Sarah: And so…
Sarah: …I have gotten to the point now where the Lord has just blessed me with a level of security. And I know that I have – I have committed this journey to the Lord. I do the best I can do. I commit the results to Him. And it’s given me a freedom to be able to see other women, who I recognize as struggling with that hyper-perfection, as a manifestation of really thinking, oh, maybe I’m not good enough, and so I have to make it look like I’m really knocking everything out of the park. And it’s hard!
It’s so hard! We have to give ourselves grace. And I think a lot of people who are on this mothering journey, a lot of these women are less graceful with themselves than they should be.
Jim: It’s so true. And we talk…
Jim: …About that so often here at Focus.
Jim: The role of laughter – I can tell you have a great sense of humor. I mean, that’s part of it.
Sarah: We do love to laugh.
Jim: But – but in that context – for the woman who may not possess that kind of humor for whatever reason – why is lightheartedness and some laughter very critical to mothering?
Sarah: Oh, my gosh.
Jim: I mean…
Jim: …It’s obvious. It’s like, yes, but… (LAUGHTER)
Sarah: Well, I think because your children will provide you ample opportunity for belly laughs if you can get out of your head enough to really be present with them and to enjoy the little people that they’re becoming. (Laughter) It really is amazing how three children with the same DNA and the same parents have developed into these completely divergent personalities. Um…
Sarah: …All big, by the way. I’m sure, also, that doesn’t surprise you (laughter). I have no (Laughter) …no wilting wallflowers in the bunch of my children!
But we really have been able to weather the storms because we have been able to take a step back and go, Lord, this difficulty is temporary, this inconvenience is temporary, and I recognize the beauty, the humor in what you’ve given us for this time on this stage of the journey.
Jim: Such a healthy perspective. And sometimes it’s hard to find that.
Jim: But concentrate on it.
Jim: Try to zero in on it (Laughter) and I think you’ll be blessed. That’s so good.
Hey, right at the end here, you included a letter…
Jim: …That you wrote kind of to your younger self about the motherhood journey ahead. What did that letter sound like? What did you put in there to yourself…?
Sarah: Oh, gosh.
Jim: …As if you were – I don’t know – a 17-year-old, a 18-year-old?
Jim: I don’t know.
Sarah: Um, I think I began about talking about her 15 percent body fat, which she had at the time because she was (Laughter) working out six days a week uninterrupted by children (laughter), um, and would take the train to New York on the weekends just to catch a show. So her life was very, very different than about 10 or 15 years later.
Um, I wish someone had told me some of the things that I wrote about in the book. And it wasn’t as if there wasn’t a plethora of real wisdom out there about mothering, but it was that nitty-gritty, that difficulty of making that transition and the things that are going to be important to you as a mom that used to seem very, very important to me as a career woman. Those are the things I really wanted to communicate to myself and what I’m hoping someone will pick up and read, particularly people who’ve gone that job route first, who haven’t immediately gotten married and had kids right out of college or right after high school.
So one of the things that I included was to slow down. It really, for me, has been, um, an exercise in patience and not just patience with my children, but patience with myself. I have a nature that tends toward rushing to tend toward high achievement. And so I would always be rushing. We’d be running here to the doctor’s appointment or here to a playdate or here – it was a nature walk because we were going to do a science experiment. And we were going to press leaves between books. And …
It was interesting – I was on a walk one day with two of my three. I wasn’t yet pregnant with my third. And I had little Gracie, who was a toddler at the time in the stroller, and Noah was pushing along beside me. And in a desperate attempt to get exercise, I was pushing very fast. And he (Laughter) could not keep up with me. He was growing very frustrated.
An I slowed down. And he put his hand on the stroller. And as if the Lord knew I needed a reminder, an elderly man came walking in the opposite direction. And as he passed, he said, “You are doing a good job, Mom.”
Jim: Oh, wow.
Sarah: And I went – to this day – this is, gosh, 12 years later – um, and I still remember it with such perfect clarity. And I thought, oh, man, slowing down is something I wish someone had told me at the time. All the things, like the perfect house and hurrying up to finish dinner and hurrying up to get all the laundry done – “Oh, honey, it will be there tomorrow.”
Sarah: Do not speed through these precious moments because they will not last.
An I think, also, having grace with oneself, being forgiving – forgiving not just with your kids, which comes easier, I believe, than sometimes forgiving ourselves when we have such passionate love for them. Sometimes – and I have lost many a fragile item to those three little crumb hustlers, OK. I… (Laughter) I could fill volumes with what I have lost in my years of parenting.
Jim: I love it.
Sarah: But having forgiveness and grace with ourselves and going, man, I really messed that up, or I was – I was really harsh in my tone, and then going to your kids and having – feeling that freedom to say, “Know what?” – “You know what? Mommy was really snappy, and she did not mean to get snappy at you. Will you forgive me?”
And by doing that, we actually model the correct behavior for our kids.
Sarah: I saw him go on to exercise that forgiveness with his siblings. And you think, see, a little grace for myself, and my kids can have grace with each other. So…
Jim: It comes out.
Sarah: …It really does come out.
Jim: That is so good. And, Sarah, you have packed this great book – Mommy Needs a Raise – with so many of these wonderful insights. This – I’ll tell the husband’s out there – this is the book you should buy for your wife as a present – really.
Sarah: I hope so. I think…
Jim: I mean…
Sarah: …There are moms that would really…
Sarah: …Be encouraged…
Jim: There’s just…
Sarah: …By somebody…
Jim: …So much courage…
Sarah: …Who is on the path.
Jim: …In there. So…
Jim: And if you’re the mom that, you know, your – your husband may not buy it for you, just call us here at Focus on the Family. (LAUGHTER) And, in fact, just make a gift Focus for any amount, and we’ll send you a copy of Sarah’s book as our way of saying thank you. If you can be a monthly supporter to help us help other families, uh, to strengthen those families in Christ, uh, be part of the team and do that on a monthly basis, and we’ll send you a copy of the book, as well.
And if you can’t afford it, we’ll get it in your hands. Others have – uh, I’m sure we’ll give enough to take care of that. But, Sarah, thank you for the encouragement to moms – helping them…
Sarah: You’re welcome.
Jim: …Through tough times – that there is light at the end of the tunnel…
Sarah: Yes, there is.
Jim: …And, uh, that your days are not wasted, that…
Jim: …What you’re doing is the most critical job that anybody can do. And it’s not being an attorney. And for us…
Jim: …Dads, it’s probably not what we’re doing either. It’s, every day, spending time with those kids…
Sarah: Yes, it is.
Jim: …And grooming them for a life of hopefully Godly work and character.
Jim: Thanks for being with us.
Sarah: Thank you for having me.
John: Hm. And if you’re a mom or dad, we hope you’ll contact us about Sarah’s wonderful book, Mommy Needs a Raise. Donate and get your copy at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Or when you call 800-232-6459. 800 – the letter “A” and the word – FAMILY.
Coming up next time, Cynthia Tobias explains how to get along with family or co-workers who have a different way of thinking — and learning — than you do . . .!
Cynthia Tobias: How many – how many of you know someone who is definitely not like you, you know they don’t think like you? Did you also know this? They don’t want to think like you.
End of Teaser