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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Understanding How Birth Order Impacts Your Marriage

Understanding How Birth Order Impacts Your Marriage

In this broadcast, Dr. Kevin Leman explains how birth order affects your relationships with your spouse, and offers advice on managing challenges in your marriage that stem from your placement in your family of origin.
Original Air Date: February 16, 2015

Preview:

Dr. Kevin Leman: We tend to marry outside of our birth order, and that’s a good thing because, simply, marrying outside of your birth order increases the probability of success in marriage.

End of Preview

John Fuller: You’re going to hear more from Dr. Kevin Leman today on Focus on the Family. Your host is Focus president and author Jim Daly, and I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Every time Dr. Leman’s with us, I mean, he knocks it out of the park. Yeah, his sense of humor, his stories, his practical applications, uh, all make for a great conversation. He’s known as the birth order guy, and he has some strong insights on how the order in which you were born affects your personality. His groundbreaking book, The Birth Order Book, uh, really helps you better understand yourself and how birth order plays a role in who you are. Today, we’re coming back to a program with Dr. Kevin Leman about improving your marriage relationship by knowing more about your birth order and your spouse’s birth order. Uh, this was really fun and eye-opening.

John: It was and, on previous programs, as we’ve talked with Dr. Leman about birth order and how it influences us as individuals and as parents, this was the first time we talked with him, though, about how that birth order affects the marriage relationship. And Dr. Leman is an internationally known psychologist, radio and television personality, educator, speaker. Uh, he’s written over 50 books on parenting, marriage, and family living, and we’re going to pick up the conversation as he describes how he developed an interest in this concept of the birth order.

Dr. Leman: Well, I was sitting in a college classroom and, uh, I studied … I’m an Adlerian psychologist, not that I expect anybody to even know who Alfred Adler was, but he was, uh, he was a friend and a colleague of a guy named Sigmund Freud in Vienna, and, in public debate, they found out they were very, very different people. Uh, for example, Freud would say you smoke cigarettes today because you were fixated, at the oral stage of development, on your mother’s breast. Alfred Adler would say you smoke ’cause you’re stupid (laughing).

John: A little straighter.

Dr. Leman: I liked him right off the bat (laughing). But I was sitting in a college classroom and my professor, uh, was talking about the first-born child and he described the first-born as organized, doesn’t like surprises, reliable, conscientious, a list-maker, an achiever, there’s a right way to do things. I said, “Oh, my goodness, he just described my sister.” And then he went to the middle child, opposite from the first-born, yeah, check, uh, hard to pin down, plays off of what’s ever above in the family, a mediator, a negotiator, huge with loyalty and friendships, and I thought, “Oh, my goodness, he just described my brother.” And yet my brother was an A-student like my older sister, okay, so he was the first-born male, let me point that out, as well as the middle child, okay?

Jim: So both attributes.

Dr. Leman: Yes. And then he went to the baby, and that was the clincher for me, (laughing) attention getting, uh, fun-loving, never met a stranger, could sell dead rats for a living (laughing). Well, listen, one of my claims to fame is I talked my way into Disney World.

Jim: That’s pretty good (laughing).

Dr. Leman: Now check this out, not one ticket, not two, but nine.

Jim: Don’t tell Disney World.

Dr. Leman: I, I won’t. I, let’s keep this a secret, but I’ll tell you-

Jim: Okay, have you ever paid them back for that (laughing)?

John: A lot of publicity right there in the making. (laughing)

Dr. Leman: Well, really, I mean, uh, babies have the skill to sell dead rats for a living (laughing). In the business world, your CEOs or your presidents, your accountants, your engineers, are your first-born children. Anything where technology pays off huge, you’re most likely to find the first-born. Your entrepreneurs in the business world, Donald Trump, Steve Forbes, Bill Gates Jr., I mean, I know he’s a college dropout, but the guy did pretty good, he’s a middle child. So middle children tend to roll differently than the rest of the flock. Babies, charming, could sell dead rats for a living, like I said, uh, got away with murder, most likely to retain their pet’s name. Her name might be Mary Lou, but the, everybody still calls her Buffy, you know. Uh, so it’s interesting to me how all these cubs come out of the same den and yet they’re all unique. Now, today, we’re having smaller families, so we have a lot of only children, who are step-cousins, so to speak, to the first-borns. They’re everything we said the first-borns are, only put the word super in front of it, super conscientious, super reliable, super … you know. They’re little adults by age seven. And so a lot of families, like we, we have five kids, but we’ve got an only child in that five. Well, how do you do that? Well, there’s variables that affect birth order.

Jim: Well-

Dr. Leman: Big age gaps, for example, set that up.

Jim: Right. Let me ask you this question, that, that 80/20 rule, do you find that, um … because some people say, “Well, that’s not me. I’m first-born, but I act like a last-born.” Is, does that happen and how frequent is that?

Dr. Leman: It happens all the time, and the variables of birth order, you really have to understand the variables, or you won’t grasp what we’re talking about today. The variables are sex, number one. You have five kids in the family. One of them is a male. There’s something special about one child in the family, so that kid could be in the second, third, fourth, or even fifth position, it still will have first-born-like qualities.

Jim: Because of his, his or her gender?

Dr. Leman: Because of their gender, okay. Then you have age gaps. A five-year age gap between same sex kids, you would draw another line in the family, so that’s where it splits off, okay?

Jim: Well, let, let me ask you about that. So there’s five kids in my family. I’m the fifth born, the last born-

Dr. Leman: Uh-huh.

Jim: … but I’m six years from my closest sister.

Dr. Leman: Right.

Jim: They’re all one year apart-

Dr. Leman: Yeah.

Jim: … so what category would that be?

Dr. Leman: You’re a first-born son. Are you the president of Focus on the Family (laughing) or, or did I not hear John Fuller right (laughing)? Are you the boss?

Jim: Okay, yeah.

Dr. Leman: Are you the boss?

Jim: Uh, well-

Dr. Leman: Bo-, are you the boss? Answer the question. You’re on.

Jim: … I’ve got the title; I’ve got the title (laughing). I don’t know.

Dr. Leman: Do you see what I’m saying?

Jim: Actually, Jean’s, Jean’s the boss.

Dr. Leman: But do you see what I’m saying?

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Leman: The gap sets those things up. Our youngest, little Lauren is very creative, uh, and very detailed oriented and she’s the baby of the family, but she’s a functional only child.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Leman: So, again, only children do logarithms in their head at age seven. I mean, they’re advanced from the rest of us.

Jim: But I would think, uh, especially, you know, in my case, I would say I, I’m average in those kind of discipline categories, but I’m more extroverted, I like, uh, people.

Dr. Leman: But that’s the influence of those sisters above you.

Jim: Okay.

Dr. Leman: We’re always affected by what’s above us in the family, not what’s beneath us.

Jim: Well, let me say publicly, thank you, Kim and Dee, for that influence (laughing).

Dr. Leman: Well, and here, here’s the other thing, twins-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Leman: … twins break up the birth order. If you want to pray for a kid, a special prayer, pray for the kid that follows the twins

Jim: (laughing)

Dr. Leman: because the twins, whether they’re fraternal or identical, get an awful lot of attention, so people who say … I, I get letters from people, “Oh, this is non-Biblical.” I say, “Well, yeah, okay, mm-hmm, okay, Cain and Abel.” Uh, the original title on The Birth Order Book when it went to Revell publishers with rubber bands and cardboard was Abel Had It Coming (laughing) and the publisher said, “Kevin, you cannot have a title like that.” I said, “I like it. It’s got a nice family flavor (laughing). How about Jacob and Esau and a bowl of porridge?” I mean, there’s a lot of things where brothers or sisters are diametrically different personalities.

Jim: Well, that gives us, uh, kind of a good background. Let’s dial it up now. When those, uh, first-borns, middle-borns, and last-borns get older and now they’re going to marry somebody. Uh, we often talk about how opposites attract, I think in our marriage counseling here, um, similar to what you experience, Kevin, you see that that 80/20 rule usually applies. About 80% of us are attracted to people who are different from us. Talk about that magnetism and talk about how birth order plays into that attraction.

Dr. Leman: Well, let’s start with, if both of us were the same, there’d be little use for one of us, (laughing) okay?

Jim: Well, some opposites may have that thought (laughing).

Dr. Leman: But opposites do attract. I mean, as the baby of the family, I can tell you, I married Mrs. Upington. Now this is-

Jim: And where is she?

Dr. Leman: Mrs. Upington, of course, is my pet name for my first-born wife, who loves restaurants with four and five forks (laughing). There’s a right way to do things. She was color-coordinated at birth, I believe. But, you know, I can still remember, as a young husband-to-be standing at that aisle as she walked down the flower-strewn aisle, we spent $29 for flowers at our wedding, it was a big affair, and I remember looking at her little daisy she had, to this day, she hates daisies, but I didn’t realize that underneath that bouquet was a rule book, and first-borns tend to be the rule-makers.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Leman: First-borns are good at spotting flaws. That’s why they’re good engineers and good accountants. Astronauts in outer space, of the first 23, 21 first-borns, two only children, not a middle or a baby in sight. So here I am, baby of the family, now I knew nothing about birth order at that point, very, very little, but I didn’t realize that what happens in marriage is that, when two people marry, it’s not two, it’s at least six.

Jim: How do you get that math?

Dr. Leman: Because you marry your in-laws and you either reap the benefit of what happened in that family, or you pay for it. So it’s not only your bride or your groom’s birth order, but what kind of family did they come out of, was there a critical-eyed parent there? Now we talked about age gaps, gender, we didn’t mention physical handicaps or mental handicaps, but that’s part of the variables. But put a critical eye, and that means a person who can spot a flaw at 50 paces, in the marriage and you got trouble because they’re going to be a flaw-picker. That person isn’t going to feel like they’re loved. Women in particular, who thrive on affection, need to know that their husband has their back at every moment of their life, okay? And many of us, as men, who aren’t great wordsmiths, but we’re great critics, can take the spirit of a woman and just level it with just a word or a look. So-

Jim: That’s the majority of the relational component, isn’t it?

Dr. Leman: It is.

Jim: When you describe that, that’s most marriages.

Dr. Leman: I, I wrote a book called Smart Women Know When to Say No and I contrast the controlling male and the pleasing female. It’s a very neurotic relationship and, like a moth to a flame, these people find each other out. So there’s opposites that attract that aren’t good, healthy marriages because one person does all the controlling and the other is beaten over the head like a baby seal.

Jim: Let me ask you this, some people are listening thinking, “Okay, this sounds good. This sounds psychological and I get it. Where is God in this whole thing?” Why did He design us like this so there’s only so many emotions that we can feel, there’s only so many attributes that we have, there’s only so many positions in birth order that you can be? And he puts that all together and then you’re attracted to your spouse and yet, in most marriages, you have to learn to be selfless. Is it fair to say that, if you put Christ at the center of your relationship, He can, uh, smooth out some of those rough edges?

Dr. Leman: Well, that’s what you hear all over the Christian kingdom, just put Christ at the center of your life. The problem is, if you’ve married a woman who came out of a very dysfunctional family, who didn’t have a loving father, number one, she’s got all kinds of issues with God because she-

Jim: So it’s going to take a lot of sandpaper (laughs).

Dr. Leman: … she doesn’t even see God as the loving father. She sees Him as the critical-eyed person. She runs on guilt. Now I know I’m stepping on some toes when I say these words, believe me, but we tend to, in the kingdom of God, come up with these little platitudes and so, yes, you want to rely on God for all things. If anything is going to overcome this great dysfunction in a family, it’s the love of Jesus Christ in one’s life. What I’ve learned is it takes people sometimes decades to get to that point where they really understand that the sin, I’m going to commit next week, you know what, Jim and John, it’s already forgiven. See, Go-, Jesus came to this Earth to put an end to religion, to put an end to religion, not start a religion. You know, it’s all about a relationship. So, yeah, I mean, I can tell you, I don’t know how people make it without God in marriage, if that’s the question. I know people do, but I don’t know how they do it. Uh, because there’s times when you’re, you have this intimate union with this person where you want to either UPS them to a far-off land (laughs) or or kill them.

John: Well, here at Focus on the Family, we want to help you in your marriage. We want to help you thrive and, uh, Dr. Kevin Leman is our guest today on the program and, uh, if you’d like to find more, we do have details about his book, The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are, over at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And, uh, I encourage you to call us today, make a donation of any amount, and we’ll send the book to you as our way of saying thanks for standing with us and supporting this family outreach. Our phone is 800-232-6459, 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: Uh, Kevin, let’s get practical. Let’s talk about those combinations and put some meat on the bones of what we’ve talked about. Talk about two first-borns who marry. Uh, is that typical? What percentage of the population would that represent?

Dr. Leman: Not typical.

Jim: Okay.

Dr. Leman: We tend to, uh, now I’m speaking in generalities, we tend to marry outside of our birth order, and that’s a good thing because, simply, marrying outside of your birth order increases the probability of success in marriage.

Jim: So opposites attract really does apply?

Dr. Leman: Oh, they do, yeah. Now, when you have first-borns and first-borns together, they spend a lifetime, it seems like, should-ing on each other, (laughing) “You should do this. You should do that.” They’re the great improvers. Okay, they see something that’s out of place and they immediately go over and straighten it up.

Jim: So what are some tools that you would recommend that they could, uh, do it better?

Dr. Leman: Well, the division of labor is really important, “I’m going to take care of this, and you take care of that. Now we’ll report back and, and trade notes.” I always tell women at my seminars, “Where, where are the first-born women?” and I see all these hands go up. I say, “I got a great suggestion for you. Have a wallpaper party, and just invite your first-born girlfriends to help you wallpaper a room, and here’s my prediction, by 11:00 in the morning, you’ll have blood on the floor (laughing).” Why? Because you have all these people who know exactly who life ought to be. So you’re a first-born and you’re talking to your first-born wife, okay? Now, lots of times, you might just say, “All right, listen, this is what we’re going to do,” then go (laughing) … the hairs go up. I mean, the ears are back. “Hey, honey, um, I’d like to ask your opinion about something that I’ve really been struggling with.” Now the ears are open, the heart’s open, you’re on the right track. So, when you say put some meat on the bone here for us, those are the kinds of things you learn to say to your bride or to your groom.

Jim: Well, there are so many combinations, Kevin, and we can’t cover them all, but, uh, let’s go through a couple more.

Dr. Leman: Yes.

Jim: Let’s talk about first-born and middle-born.

Dr. Leman: Pretty good match. Why? Because middle children never had their way at anything. No one ever said to a middle child, “Honey, what do you think we should do?” They were submerged by the first-born, little Miss Bossy, little Miss Goody Two-Shoes, or Mr. Great Student in School, and little Schnooky, the baby of the family that got away with murder (laughing). So middle children are a little bit like going down to the blood bank and finding a universal donor ’cause they go with about everything.

Jim: Ah.

Dr. Leman: A middle child is a good match for a baby. A middle child, uh, is a good match, a great match, for either an only or a first-born. They add balance in a very natural way. They never had Mom and Dad to themselves. They negotiated for everything they ever had in life (laughing). So-

Jim: And they’re comfortable with that.

Dr. Leman: … so that’s a good skill to bring into marriage, so hooray for the middle children.

Jim: They’re the ones that keep peace.

Dr. Leman: Right. They’re the peacemakers, they are.

Jim: Le- let’s talk about the other combo, the oldest and the youngest.

Dr. Leman: Well, that’s a naturally good, uh, combination. It really is. A first-born and baby, uh, an only born and baby are very good. I remember coming home from CBS television in New York and I said to Mrs. Upington, I said, uh, “Hey, you never said if you liked my spot or not,” and she said, “Oh, you were good.

Jim: (laughs).”

John: Ouch.

Jim: That communicates a message (laughing).

Dr. Leman: Oh, yeah, that, that’s what you call a spit in your soup, by the way, “Oh, you were good.” So that just sets me up to say, “All right. What’s the problem?” And she’s, this is a quote, this is so embarrassing to say, (laughs) she says, “Did you have to blow your nose in your tie, really?”

Jim: Oh, my goodness (laughing).

Dr. Leman: She says, “People read your books. They look up to you. You’re a respected a psychologist and, there you are, blowing your nose in front of Harry Smith at CBS.” I said, “Well, honey,” and I explained to her, I said, “The floor director was giving us the wrap, okay? I know Harry did not see that signal, and so Harry went to ask a question, in fact, we were talking about birth order that day. He said, ‘Dr. Leman, we never got to your birth order. What’s your birth order?’ Well, the guy’s counting down with fingers, you know. I mean, we’ve got 10 seconds. So I took my tie and feigned that I was blowing my nose and that this communicate that, uh, a baby of the family would do anything for a cheap laugh.” Well, Mrs. Upington did not appreciate her husband’s humor, let’s just put it that way, but she straightened me up lots of times. But I would tell you, in reverse, that a Saturday night dinner at our house starts on Thursday and I’m the one that helps lighten her up with things because she takes things way too seriously, okay? And, uh, she needs me, to put it bluntly, and I think that’s the message with the first-born and the baby, that we really need each other ’cause the first-born can be too perfectionist. Remember, perfection is slow suicide.

Jim: Is it possible for, uh, a child that’s in the middle … I mean, Jean, last-born daughter, but, uh, she tends to have first-born attributes of a bit of perfectionism. Is that typical?

Dr. Leman: It can happen all the time. Once you get to a large families and, again, today, uh, a large family is a family of four, for Pete’s sake, but you have those families that are eight, nine, 10 kids, within the family, there’s at least three sub-families in all probability.

Jim: Just because of the age grouping?

Dr. Leman: Because of the age grouping or the sex or some, one of those attributes, and I think that’s what made The Birth Order Book sell well over a million copies because everybody’s got a birth order and everybody understands that all the cubs came out of the den, same den, and yet they’re very different.

Jim: Uh, so let’s also include some of those things … we talked about first-borns who marry and some, uh, things they can do intentionally to communicate better. Uh, talk the other birth combos. How does, uh, a last-born and a middle child, in a marriage, how do they communicate better?

Dr. Leman: Well, last-borns have to understand one thing, that they’re not the only person in the union, (laughing) and I’m here to tell you, that’s what us babies are good at (laughing). There’s times I’m ashamed of how I think, ashamed of how I act, ’cause it’s so easy, as a baby, to think about only yourself.

Jim: Center of the universe.

Dr. Leman: We practice what we call natural tithing in the Leman family, which means, if we see a need in someone’s life and we could help meet that need, we do that. That’s really good therapy for me, just to give things to people without anything coming back. And I think babies, in particular, have a harder time being a good husband or a good wife because they tend to be, by their nature, too self-centered, and you have to be other people centered. Middle children are great at other people-centered and that’s why, I mentioned earlier, middle children are tremendously loyal, they have friends outside of the family, which is key, outside of the family. Usually, if there’s a kid that’s ostracized in some way from the rest of the family, your best guess is it’s that middle child. So you learn to communicate, like a youngest to a middle, no one ever asked a middle child, “What do you think?”, so you always want to be making sure that you’re tapping into the feelings and ideas and concerns that your middle child spouse has. On the other hand, as a middle child, you have to understand this spouse needs a few, uh, fish thrown their way, like, uh, like you throw a few fish to a seal, “Arf, arf (laughing).” And us little babies need strokes.

Jim: Kevin, that is good advice. Let me, let me ask you this, so many, uh, young people are waiting to get married, um, so we have more 20-something singles and 30-something singles. Uh, they’ll hear this too. Thankfully, they’re listening to Focus on the Family and I’m grateful for that. How do they apply that? I would think a first-born applying what they’ve heard in, in the broadcast, uh, could take a real technical approach and begin, uh, their search for a spouse and that could be the topic of discussion-

Dr. Leman: Great question.

Jim: … “Where’s your birth order (laughs)?”

Dr. Leman: Listen, that is such a good question. For all of you who are looking for Mr. or Mrs. Right, listen to what this old man has to say. This one ought to get right to the heart of the matter. Does this person love God? If a person really loves God, if they really love God, they’re going to do what the Bible tells them to do and they’re going to be a good husband and good wife. You’re already on first base. Now does this person you’re marrying have a temper. Uh-oh, yellow flag big time. Now why would I pick on temper? Because temper equals control, and that’s why I say to all you parents who are listening, you got kids who, when they lose, they throw a temper tantrum and stuff, you better deal with that stuff right up straight right now, quickly. And so it really gets back to, uh, does he love God, does she love God, does this person have a temper, and what’s the relationship like between this woman you’re going to marry and her father? “Well, he was abusive.” Well, get ready for a long road, a tough road, in that marriage, okay?

Jim: But understand it. That’s a good thing.

Dr. Leman: You have to understand it, yes, but, uh, it’s like making a cake, Jim. In one of my books, I talk about Daddy attention deficit disorder, and it’s like making a cake. If you make a, I’m not much of a cake-maker, for sure, if you make a cake and you leave out one major ingredient, I got news for you, the cake is going to fall. It’s not going to be a good cake. Now, again, I’m stepping on a lot of toes here ’cause there’s a lot of women and men who have grown up in a home where the critical eye reigned and you were put down, you were discouraged, you weren’t encouraged, you were just hammered, and, in fact, in many cases, you were at least verbally abused, but sometimes physically abused. Think of the kind of husband you need to have. You want to pray for something? Pray for a husband that’s near superhuman because he’s got to come around and just love you. He’s a guy that needs not ever demand anything from you and just to accept you so that you have a chance at loving this husband that you’ve fallen in love with. And, when you reach for imperfection and understand how broken you are, and, “I need this man, I need this woman in my life,” that’s the point where you have the intimate connection to realize that this person loves you whether you have morning breath that could kill a cockroach at four and a half feet or whether you have a habit that drives you up the wa- … I mean, that’s what’s great about just being thoroughly married and thoroughly connected. But isn’t it nice to know that God loves you despite all of your frailties that you know that’s a part of your life? That’s what’s cool about marriage, I think, that this person loves me at an intimate level, and I can connect. And, and then there’s not the performance stress, I think, on the kids. We’re creating adults. You’re not rearing kids, you’re really rearing adults, and that’s why you give responsibility to kids. That’s why you don’t let them run over you. But you’re training that son or that daughter to be a good husband or a good wife.

Jim: Well, and that’s what’s so wonderful. We have to, especially again, I would say to the Christian community, we have to celebrate our differences and understand how to deal with the, uh, the noise and the, uh, the pain of being different. So, Dr. Kevin Leman, author of the book, The Birth Order Book, uh, we’re grateful to have you here. Thank you for being with us.

Dr. Leman: Oh, my pleasure. Thanks.

John: It’s always good to have Dr. Kevin Leman here at Focus on the Family and it’s really interesting to think about how your birth order in your family of origin can impact you as you interact, uh, as a couple.

Jim: It’s interesting and I know, with Jean and me, uh, she’s number five out of six kids, while I’m number five out of five, but she’s that last daughter. She’s more like the middle child negotiator-type, trying to be the peacemaker, and I think my spontaneity kind of drives her a little crazy (laughing). I learned early in our marriage that I can’t just say, “Hey, let’s go do this or do that,” because Jean needs time to plan it and that’s where the birth order lines up for Jean and me. Uh, you know, Focus on the Family cares about you and your marriage. We want your relationship with your spouse to be thriving along with your relationship with Christ.

John: Yeah. We have so many resources to help you in that. Uh, that’s one reason we created the Focus on the Family Marriage Assessment. It’s an online tool. It’s a quick little quiz you can take, uh, maybe five, six minutes long, and you’ll get immediate results, uh, to help you have some insights on how you’re succeeding in your relationship and maybe an area or two that needs a little bit of work.

Jim: I always love that, a little couple of areas to work on (laughs).

John: Yeah, always some improvement.

Jim: You know, another great place to start is to get a copy of The Birth Order Book by Dr. Kevin Leman. It’s packed with solid insight and wisdom like you heard today and, in fact, when you make a monthly pledge today, of any amount, we’ll send you a copy of The Birth Order Book as our way of saying thank you for helping us support families like your own. And, if you can’t commit to that monthly pledge, we get that, a one-time gift donation goes a long way too. So join our support team. Do ministry with Focus on the Family today.

John: Donate and get your copy of The Birth Order Book, uh, when you’re at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY, 800-232-6459. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller inviting you back as we, once more, help you and your family thrive in Christ.

Today's Guests

The Birth Order Book

The Birth Order Book: Why You Are the Way You Are

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Recent Episodes

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Caring for the Forgotten Generation

Chaplain Bill Goodrich of God Cares Ministry describes the vibrant opportunity to befriend and share Christ with the elderly in your community. He shares his heart for this forgotten generation of precious people who deserve our love and attention.

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Reflecting on Our Blessings at Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the blessings God has given us and express our gratitude for His bountiful grace and mercy. Becky Kopitzke will share fun ideas to incorporate gratitude into your family’s Thanksgiving traditions.

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Removing the Barriers Between You and Your Prodigal Child

When someone you love makes poor choices in their lifestyle, relationships, or moral decision-making, there IS hope! Phil Waldrep provides concrete steps to removing any barriers that might stop your prodigal child from coming back to the Lord.

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A Legacy of Music and Trusting the Lord

Popular Christian vocalist Larnelle Harris reflects on his five-decade music career, sharing the valuable life lessons he’s learned about putting his family first, allowing God to redeem a troubled past, recognizing those who’ve sacrificed for his benefit, and faithfully adhering to biblical principles amidst all the opportunities that have come his way.

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Accepting Your Imperfect Life

Amy Carroll shares how her perfectionism led to her being discontent in her marriage for over a decade, how she learned to find value in who Christ is, not in what she does, and practical ways everyone can accept the messiness of marriage and of life.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!