Custom CSS of Section contains Conditional Preview for See Life Campaign Elements

Five Ways to Add Fun to Your Marriage

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Illustration of husband and wife singing joyfully while he drives their car
Glin Dibbley
Where you are and what you do are simply factors in the equation, but they are not the summation of a good time. Stop looking for fun in your marriage and start creating it!

My wife, Amy, is a foodie. I am not. Her favorite restaurants serve small portions and many courses. I prefer large portions served all at once. You would think these differences might drive us crazy, but they don’t. We decided a long time ago to find fun in every nook and cranny of our marriage.

Our foodie differences first surfaced at a fancy restaurant in a big city. When we walked in, I knew immediately that I would leave hungry. It was the type of restaurant our friend Dr. Kevin Leman calls a “four forker.”

The friendly host seated us at a table near the front window. We had a welcoming view of the garden terrace and plenty of privacy. It was a cute, cozy and romantic environment.

Then the waiter approached our table with a thick wooden plank that presented us with two mint leaves. My immediate question was, “Is that the salad?” He assured me it was not.

He invited us to each take a leaf and rub it over our lips, under our noses and around our chins. Amy was all in, but I hesitated.

“I grew up in Illinois where we grew produce, but we never rubbed it on our faces,” I said in jest. Our waiter didn’t laugh. Come on, shouldn’t rubbing herbs on your face be something a couple does in private? This was certainly one of the most awkward moments I have ever experienced in a restaurant.

The waiter stood waiting, so I gave him a show he would not soon forget. I took a bath with that mint leaf, and then discarded the wilted leaf on the plank. He took our order and left.

Amy giggled with appreciation. She knows how awkward those situations can be for me, but she loves how I push myself and work through the awkwardness. No matter where we are, no matter what we are doing, we try to make it fun.

Marriage should be enjoyed. Ecclesiastes 9:9 says, “Enjoy life with the wife whom you love, all the days of your vain life that he has given you under the sun, because that is your portion in life and in your toil at which you toil under the sun.” God declares that you can enjoy life with your spouse, even through the pain and challenges that life often brings. God did not give you your spouse to be the grind; He gave you your spouse to be a companion through the grind.

Here are a few ways that you can find fun and marital satisfaction in the random moments of life:

Decide your way into fun

Fun is a choice, not an outcome. You decide your way into fun; you don’t just stumble into it. As a couple, you get to choose whether an activity, date night or event is fun or frustrating. Where you are and what you do are simply factors in the equation, but they are not the summation of a good time.

For example, can you remember a day when everything went wrong, when everyone and everything seemed to be working against you to the point that it became comical? That’s when Amy and I simply shake our heads and say, “What else could go wrong?” Every bad thing that happens after that question becomes one more punch line in our day. This kind of perspective can give you and your spouse one more fun story to tell friends and family.

When fun is an outcome and not a choice, the quality of your marriage is determined by the words and actions of others. But when fun is a choice and not an outcome, the quality of your marriage is determined solely by your attitude.

If you desire more fun in your marriage, start by creating it rather than waiting for it. Fun as a couple can be found while lying on a beach, stuck in traffic, standing in line — even while eating a holiday meal with your parents. The choice is yours.

You may resist the idea of deciding on fun and think, Yeah, this is all good and well, but it takes two people to make a marriage fun. I submit that it often takes just one spouse to get the ball rolling. So let it start with you. Decide for yourself (not your spouse) to loosen up, not take yourself so seriously and enjoy what life and marriage throw at you.

Create fun in everyday moments

Your marriage needs daily time free from conversations about serious matters, such as the budget, parenting, jobs and household chores. All it takes is a few minutes of spontaneous fun to lighten up the rest of the day. So inject a little humor into your everyday routines and schedules.

For example, all I need to do to turn an ordinary meal into fun is to grab a vegetable off Amy’s plate and start rubbing it on my face. It immediately takes us back to that mint leaf. We laugh, reminisce a bit and plan for another foodie experience.

Your lighter moments may have nothing to do with food. Do you need to run errands? Break into a spontaneous dance to a familiar tune while you’re waiting in line at the DMV. While sitting in traffic, turn on the radio and belt out a song. Better yet, turn off the radio and invite your spouse to join you as you belt out a song. If you can’t sing or dance, that’s even better! Uncoordinated dancing and out-of-tune singing usually guarantee a laugh. Make it a goal to get your spouse to smile, chuckle or even belly laugh. Laughter is good for the soul. Proverbs 17:22 says, “A joyful heart is good medicine.” Your marriage needs a daily dose of laughter.

Find fun games to play anywhere

Every marriage needs a go-to game. A simple game like “Would You Rather” requires no set-up time, game pieces or box. It travels with you everywhere you go, and it’s ever evolving. Ask each other a series of questions like …

  • Would you rather live on a lake or on the ocean?
  • Would you rather have dinner at the White House or take an all-expenses-paid two-week tour of Europe?
  • Would you rather be Batman or Superman?

Amy and I love playing “Would You Rather” because it helps us dream. We rapid-fire questions at each other, often pausing to ask, “Why?” This game even has the potential for fun debates. If you’ve been married for some time, you just might begin answering these questions for each other. When you hear an unexpected answer, respond in jest, “And I thought I knew you!”

Plan for fun times

Once you find fun in everyday moments, you may start craving it in larger doses. Make time for fun dates. Schedule one night a week to hit the town and unwind. Studies show that quality couple time on a regular basis relieves stress, increases sexual desire and lowers your chances of divorce. Quality time evades many couples who get stuck in the rut of “dinner and a movie.” If your marriage lacks in the creative dating department, try something new. Consider roller-skating, hiking, spelunking, water-skiing, zip-lining, fishing, bowling or cooking classes.

A weekly date night is good, but an annual abandon is even better. Plan a getaway every year while the kids are at camp, with grandparents or on a school trip. Going on a trip is exciting, but you can get just as much excitement out of planning a trip. If you haven’t been on a vacation since your honeymoon, it’s time to plan some out-of-town fun where you get away from work and the kids.

Budget for fun times

As you work on your family budget for the new year, add a line item called “couple fun,” “marital satisfaction” or “one fun marriage.” Investing in your marriage is as important as investing in your child’s education and your retirement plan.

I often hear couples say, “We can’t afford to date or take vacations away from the kids.” Blogs and social media posts offer penny-pinching advice like, “Dating your spouse does not need to be expensive or extravagant.” I agree. You don’t need a yacht to enjoy time on the water, and you don’t need a five-star hotel to enjoy a romantic vacation. However, occasionally spoiling your spouse is not a waste of money, and it just might be more affordable than you think. Review your other expenses while looking for the funds to invest in your marriage. That might mean buying a used vehicle rather than a new one, or eating out with the kids less and with each other more. Some couples even choose to buy tiny houses with no mortgage so they can do more together.

These ideas may seem drastic, perhaps ridiculous, to you, but your marriage is worth it. Your children need a mom and dad who invest relationally, emotionally, physically and yes, even financially, in their marriage. Don’t go into debt for the sake of your marriage, but don’t give up on some great experiences together because of the stuff in your life. To paraphrase pastor Mark Batterson: “Invest in experiences, not stuff.”

Amy and I choose to drive a minivan that has over 180,000 miles on the odometer. When people ask, “Ted, when are you going to get a new car?” I respond with, “I’m driving this one until the wheels fall off because I love dating my wife.” Our van may be falling apart, but our marriage is stronger than ever.

One final thought: Many couples believe fun is the result of compatibility. In other words, the more compatible you are, the more fun you will experience. But the biblical definition of compatibility is found in Mark 10:8, where it says, “The two shall become one.” Compatibility is not something you discover or find online. You choose compatibility. You choose to blend your differences. Some call the process of two becoming one “hard work,” but I call it “fun work.”

A senior lady in our church has worked for the same missions organization for over 60 years. She often says, “Find a job you enjoy, and you won’t work a day in your life.” The same is true for marriage. Find fun in your marriage, and it won’t seem like such hard work.

Dynamic CTA Template Below

Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
Emerson-Eggerich4-840w

Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

About the Author

Read More About:

You May Also Like

Communication

5 Sweet Texts To Send to Your Spouse

Sending sweet texts can be an easy yet powerful way to connect with your spouse during the work week. It communicates that they’re top of mind and that you want to be part of their day.

Bible Study

Reconnected Resources

Get the tools, assessments, articles and videos mentioned during the Reconnected Group Study.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!