A Laugh Between Us

By Kathi Lipp
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Comstock/Stockbyte/Thinkstock
Laughter was natural when you were newly married. But sometimes you have to work a bit harder at laughing together. If you want to put the laughter back in your marriage, we have some ideas for you.

One tough year left my husband, Roger, and me with a stress-filled marriage. We were trying to handle it by doing the right things: praying through troubles and showing each other love every day. But when I asked Roger what he thought was missing, his reply took me aback: “We’ve forgotten how to laugh.” 

He was right. Laughter was so natural when we were dating and newly married. But in recent years we’ve discovered this truth: We have to work harder at laughing together. If you’re like us and want to put the laughter back in your marriage, the following ideas may be a good place to start:

Share inside jokes. The funny moments and sayings understood between only you and your spouse are a special part of what makes you a couple.

For the first six months of our marriage, every time my husband left the house he yelled, “Shut the door!” Strange. After all, he was the one leaving. So one day I followed him and asked why he was reminding me to shut the door. He looked puzzled, and then it dawned on him: He was actually saying, “Je t’adore” — a French expression meaning “I love you.” Now when we sign a card or leave a note for each other, we write, “Shut the door!” It’s our inside joke.

Surprise your spouse. Some of the best laughs come when least expected. Slip your spouse a fun note, or declare your love in a creative way.

Recently, Roger found a unique way to make us both smile. He knew I was facing a tough day, but he had to leave for work before I got up. Still, he made me laugh. How? It was the “I Love You, Baby!” note leaned up against the coffee maker. I couldn’t help but whoop with laughter when I saw it — because it was written on a banana!

Make time to laugh. Activities that involve letting your guard down and playing together are a great way to infuse laughter into your marriage. But be warned: It’s easy to lose sight of laughter when everything is a competition.

So mix it up! The goal isn’t to be a professional mini-golfer or set the record at Nintendo Wii Hula Hooping. The object is to laugh together in a nonthreatening environment, one without winners or losers. Maybe try a cooking class or take dance lessons. (The only loser will be the one who gets her toes stepped on the most.)

Copyright © 2012 by Kathi Lipp. Used by permission. From the Focus on the Family website at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

About the Author

Kathi Lipp

Kathi Lipp is a popular public speaker and the author of 16 books including Clutter Free, Hot Mama: 12 Secrets to a Sizzling Hot Marriage, The Get Yourself Organized Project, The Husband Project and You Don’t Have to Try So Hard. She is a frequent guest on radio and TV, and host of the podcast Clutter Free Academy. Kathi and her …

You May Also Like

Thank you [field id="first_name"] for signing up to get the free downloads of the Marrying Well Guides. 

Click the image below to access your guide and learn about the counter-cultural, biblical concepts of intentionality, purity, community and Christian compatibility.

(For best results use IE 8 or higher, Firefox, Chrome or Safari)

To stay up-to-date with the latest from Boundless, sign up for our free weekly e-newsletter.


If you have any comments or questions about the information included in the Guide, please send them to [email protected]

Click here to return to Boundless

Focus on the Family

Thank you for submitting this form. You will hear from us soon. 

The Daily Citizen

The Daily Citizen from Focus on the Family exists to be your most trustworthy news source. Our team of analysts is devoted to giving you timely and relevant analysis of current events and cultural trends – all from a biblical worldview – so that you can be inspired and assured that the information you share with others comes from a reliable source.

Alive to Thrive is a biblical guide to preventing teen suicide. Anyone who interacts with teens can learn how to help prevent suicidal thinking through sound practical and clinical advice, and more importantly, biblical principles that will provide a young person with hope in Christ.

Bring Your Bible to School Day Logo Lockup with the Words Beneath

Every year on Bring Your Bible to School Day, students across the nation celebrate religious freedom and share God’s love with their friends. This event is designed to empower students to express their belief in the truth of God’s Word–and to do so in a respectful way that demonstrates the love of Christ.

Focus on the Family’s® Foster Care and Adoption program focuses on two main areas:

  • Wait No More events, which educate and empower families to help waiting kids in foster care

  • Post-placement resources for foster and adoptive families

Christian Counselors Network

Find Christian Counselors, Marriage & Family Therapists, Psychologists, Social Workers and Psychiatrists near you! Search by location, name or specialty to find professionals in Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselors Network who are eager to assist you.

Boundless is a Focus on the Family community for Christian young adults who want to pursue faith, relationships and adulthood with confidence and joy.

Through reviews, articles and discussions, Plugged In exists to shine a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving you and your family the essential tools you need to understand, navigate and impact the culture in which we live.

Have you been looking for a way to build your child’s faith in a fun and exciting way?
Adventures in Odyssey® audio dramas will do just that. Through original audio stories brought to life by actors who make you feel like part of the experience; these fictional, character-building dramas use storytelling to teach lasting truths.

Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored all-inclusive intensives offer marriage counseling for couples who are facing an extreme crisis in their marriage, and who may even feel they are headed for divorce.