We don’t think so. The proof is in the pudding, and the validity of the principle we’ve tried to establish has been amply borne out not only in the research of qualified marriage-and-family experts, but even in the experience of people who have tried to disprove it.
There’s a good reason for this. Secular and feminist dogma notwithstanding, the implications of the divinely designed male-female dichotomy run deep in the individual human psyche. They aren’t simply physical, nor are they merely the result of cultural conditioning. Accordingly, when ideologically driven moms and dads try to put their ideas into action, they discover that the issue is a bit more complex than they had suspected. In fact, they find themselves parenting in sex-specific ways in spite of their progressive doctrines.
At the same time, they discover that the inborn male-female distinction is equally strong in their children. For the most part, experiments in gender-neutral or unisex play have been dismal failures. Give a little girl an airplane or a truck to play with, and she’ll probably cuddle it, feed it, and put it down for a nap. Give a little boy a baby stroller, and he’ll likely try to see how fast he can make it go.
The moral of the story should be obvious. “Equal” doesn’t mean “the same,” and “different” doesn’t mean “unequal.” It’s like comparing apples with oranges. A sirloin steak is very different from a chicken salad, but either one can make an equally good meal. We need to learn how to apply this principle to our personal lives, especially in the realm of the fundamental distinctions between men and women. God made us male and female for a reason.
If you think it might be helpful to discuss these ideas at greater length with a member of our staff, don’t hesitate to call Focus on the Family’s Counseling department for a free consultation.
Resources
If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.
The Intimate Marriage: A Practical Guide to Building a Great Marriage
Books on Fatherhood
Books on Motherhood
Referrals
Marriage Alive
Articles
Healthy Gender Roles in Marriage
