Parenting Twins

Is there anything special we need to know about raising twins? We just became the proud parents of two precious children, and we'd like to get our family off on the right foot. Any advice or suggestions?

Apart from the fact that it’s twice the work ( and twice the fun), raising twins doesn’t differ significantly from the rearing of other children. Generally speaking, it’s based on the same foundational principles of love, control and close parental involvement. There are, however, some special considerations to keep in mind, particularly if you’ve been blessed with identical twins.

The natural closeness and identification between two kids growing up in this situation is a wonderful thing, but it can also tend to obscure the individual identities of the children involved. There’s nothing wrong with highlighting the similarities between your twins – for example, by dressing them in identical clothes when they’re small. But you should also be looking for ways to appreciate and emphasize their differences. Make a point of allowing each child to be himself. As much as possible, love and discipline each one individually, according to his or her own temperament and personality. As they grow older, check in with them from time to time to see how they’re doing. Ask questions like, “How does it feel to be a twin in this family? What can mom and dad do to help you figure out exactly who you are and what you want to do with your life?” In short, do everything you can to ensure that the uniqueness of each child isn’t overlooked.

In the meantime, don’t neglect your own needs as parents and as a couple. We recommend that you invest some time and effort in building and maintaining a strong support system. Don’t be afraid to request help from parents, relatives and friends. Get babysitters as often as possible, plan regular date nights, and work hard to keep your marriage healthy and strong. Raising twins is a big job, and it can be exhausting at times. But with prayer, faith, God’s grace and generous amounts of help from other people we believe you can manage it successfully. We want to encourage you to tackle it with courage, composure, confidence and a deep sense of joy.

For more information and details about finding support from other parents of multiples, visit the websites of The Center for the Study of Multiple Birth and Multiples of America. (Both of these organizations are secular, so Focus on the Family can’t guarantee that all aspects of their philosophy are compatible with our own. Still, we feel they can be very helpful in the area of parenting multiples.)

And if you need some extra help, don’t hesitate to contact Focus on the Family’s Counseling department. Our licensed Christian counselors would be more than happy to discuss your situation with you over the phone.


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Focus on the Family Complete Guide to Baby & Child Care

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