Real Families. Real Hope.
Offer God's hope to hurting families.
Yes, I will help struggling families!
$

Giving Your Spouse the Gift of Self-Care

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Young loving couple practice self-care by having fun with gardening work on a wooden floor during spring day
©loreanto
Self-care is an act of stewardship, or caring well for the life God has given you. Rightly understood, self-care in marriage becomes a gift to your spouse.

Like many couples, my husband, Kevin, and I are busy. Between work, raising four children, and myriad extracurricular activities, we can find ourselves with full schedules and little margin. 

One evening, during a conversation about how stretched thin we were feeling, Kevin and I realized neither of us had been paying much attention to our individual health. As a result, we were maxed out, burned out and felt we had very little to offer the other person.

Self-care as stewardship

Rob Jackson, a licensed professional counselor, says self-care is an act of stewardship, or caring well for the life God has given you. It can involve caring for your physical health, your mental health or your spiritual health. “Rightly understood and balanced with other responsibilities, self-care in marriage becomes a gift to your spouse,” Jackson says.

When regular self-care is taking place, both spouses will feel less depleted and have more to give. Here are three ways you can give the gift of self-care to your spouse:

Make spiritual self-care the priority

A healthy, Christ-centered marriage requires that husband and wife are actively growing in their relationships with God. “Spiritually, one needs to stay in love with God,” Jackson says, “so time in the Bible and private worship are foundational.”

Have a conversation with your spouse about his or her spiritual self-care needs. Maybe she needs uninterrupted time to do her devotions. Maybe he wants to observe a “Sabbath” rest each week to slow down and focus on God. Every few months, my husband likes to spend a day alone in a natural setting to read his Bible and journal. I am spiritually encouraged by participating in a weeknight inductive Bible study. We find that being supportive of each other’s spiritual health pays dividends in our marriage relationship.

Participate in joint self-care

While you and your spouse will have individual self-care needs, you can also experience soul care through joint ventures. I have friends who love to go to the gym together. Another couple loves hiking — and another gardening together.

Kevin and I like taking walks and drives, drinking good coffee on slow Saturday mornings and attending church services together.

Find healthy, refreshing activities you and your spouse can do together to ward off stress

Make time for your spouse’s self-care

When Kevin and I discovered we were running on empty, we immediately scheduled how each of us could integrate self-care into our lives. He wanted morning gym visits and an occasional fishing trip with a buddy. As an introvert, I wanted alone time to process my thoughts … and lunch or a coffee date with a girlfriend several times a month. Each of our needs required the other spouse to be “on duty” with our kids. But we made an intentional decision to alternate and support our individual self-care needs. 

When Kevin and I brought up our feelings of burnout that night, we were thankful to discover it was nothing a little self-care couldn’t fix. As we allowed each other to focus on our own needs through self-care, we found we had more to give and a stronger marriage.

Dynamic CTA Template Below

Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
Emerson-Eggerich4-840w

Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.
Book Cover: Aftershock A Plan for Recovery

Aftershock: Overcoming His Secret Life with Pornography: A Plan for Recovery

This book is for women who have discovered their husband’s struggle with pornography and other sexual infidelities. Based on biblical principles and psychologically sound advice, Aftershock is designed to help women heal, grow, and receive restoration for themselves, their husbands, and their marriages.
ttwmk-3

That the World May Know

Join renowned teacher and historian Ray Vander Laan as he guides you through the lands of the Bible. In each lesson, Vander Laan illuminates the historical, geographical, and cultural context of the sacred Scriptures. Filmed on location in the Middle East, the That the World May Know ® film series will transform your understanding of God and challenge you to be a true follower of Jesus.
Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

About the Author

You May Also Like