Serving Together as a Couple

By Susan Mathis
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email
Wavebreakmedia/iStock/Thinkstock

When couples choose to unselfishly serve others together, they experience peace, contentment and a deeper bond that strengthens their marriage.

When my husband, Dale, and I counsel premarital couples, we encourage them to intentionally start serving together, right from the start. In our book  Countdown for Couples: Preparing for the Adventure of Marriage (Focus on the Family, 2008), we talk about the importance of having a “servant’s heart” toward each other – and to everyone.

The apostle Paul put it this way: “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4). This passage encourages us to have a servant’s heart, to have an unselfish determination to serve others. And when couples choose to unselfishly serve others together, they experience peace, contentment and a deeper bond that strengthens their marriage.

This is easier to do with God’s help, of course, since selfless behavior doesn’t always come naturally for many of us. But where do we start?

Thankfully, there’s a promise in Acts 1:8 that tells us how we can accomplish this: “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.” Practically speaking, you can consider your “Jerusalem” to be your local church, “Judea” is your neighborhood, “Samaria” is your community at large and “to the ends of the world” is a call to support and serve missionary efforts across the globe. Adopting this perspective makes fulfilling the Great Commission quite doable.

Serving as a couple has benefits that go beyond bonding, contentment and peace. There’s a sweet intimacy that comes with working together on a service project or giving together to those in need. Couples who embrace God’s call to serve others experience an added closeness, and there are special moments and memories that naturally come when you do things together.

Moreover, participating together in ministry opportunities – whether in your church, neighborhood, community or the world – can also help you to grow in your faith as a couple. Working side-by-side to fulfill the Great Commission – in whatever capacity – deepens your spiritual intimacy like little else can. Being the Lord’s witnesses by serving, giving, encouraging, caring and loving as Jesus loved is rewarding beyond words.

But in the end, it’s not really about you, is it? It’s about them – the poor, the needy, those who need a touch from God. Serving others strengthens the infrastructure of your church, your neighborhood, your community and the world. It transforms lives – theirs and yours – and brings people together. Whenever you serve others, you become the hands and feet of your Savior. You change lives.

As you consider the ideas in the following articles, remember that it’s not about duty or the amount of projects you do. It’s about demonstrating the love of Christ to those around you. It’s about being unselfish, considering others better than ourselves. Do this, and you will be His witnesses, during the holiday season and all through the year.

Copyright © 2011, Focus on the Family. From the Focus on the Family website at FocusOnTheFamily.com.

Share:
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on print
Share on email

You May Also Like

Thank you [field id="first_name"] for signing up to get the free downloads of the Marrying Well Guides. 

Click the image below to access your guide and learn about the counter-cultural, biblical concepts of intentionality, purity, community and Christian compatibility.

(For best results use IE 8 or higher, Firefox, Chrome or Safari)

To stay up-to-date with the latest from Boundless, sign up for our free weekly e-newsletter.


If you have any comments or questions about the information included in the Guide, please send them to [email protected]

Click here to return to Boundless

Focus on the Family

Thank you for submitting this form. You will hear from us soon. 

The Daily Citizen

The Daily Citizen from Focus on the Family exists to be your most trustworthy news source. Our team of analysts is devoted to giving you timely and relevant analysis of current events and cultural trends – all from a biblical worldview – so that you can be inspired and assured that the information you share with others comes from a reliable source.

Alive to Thrive is a biblical guide to preventing teen suicide. Anyone who interacts with teens can learn how to help prevent suicidal thinking through sound practical and clinical advice, and more importantly, biblical principles that will provide a young person with hope in Christ.

Bring Your Bible to School Day Logo Lockup with the Words Beneath

Every year on Bring Your Bible to School Day, students across the nation celebrate religious freedom and share God’s love with their friends. This event is designed to empower students to express their belief in the truth of God’s Word–and to do so in a respectful way that demonstrates the love of Christ.

Focus on the Family’s® Foster Care and Adoption program focuses on two main areas:

  • Wait No More events, which educate and empower families to help waiting kids in foster care

  • Post-placement resources for foster and adoptive families

Christian Counselors Network

Find Christian Counselors, Marriage & Family Therapists, Psychologists, Social Workers and Psychiatrists near you! Search by location, name or specialty to find professionals in Focus on the Family’s Christian Counselors Network who are eager to assist you.

Boundless is a Focus on the Family community for Christian young adults who want to pursue faith, relationships and adulthood with confidence and joy.

Through reviews, articles and discussions, Plugged In exists to shine a light on the world of popular entertainment while giving you and your family the essential tools you need to understand, navigate and impact the culture in which we live.

Have you been looking for a way to build your child’s faith in a fun and exciting way?
Adventures in Odyssey® audio dramas will do just that. Through original audio stories brought to life by actors who make you feel like part of the experience; these fictional, character-building dramas use storytelling to teach lasting truths.

Focus on the Family’s Hope Restored all-inclusive intensives offer marriage counseling for couples who are facing an extreme crisis in their marriage, and who may even feel they are headed for divorce.