Don’t Deny Your Grief

After the loss of your baby, every moment can be a struggle.

There are big moments, like when you’re caught up in thoughts about the future you were planning. And there are little moments, like when you’re simply walking through the house and something sparks a memory.

Suddenly you’re reliving your loss all over again, facing the reality that your baby and your dreams for your little one are gone. It can feel like another piece of your heart has been ripped away.

No wonder we want to cover up our heartache like we bandage a skinned knee.

And why wouldn’t we rather conceal it, numb it or ignore it? After all, chocolate, shopping, movies and – you name it – are far more fun. Can’t we just put the pain behind us, forget the past and get on with life?

I’m glad you asked.

You always have choices. You get to choose how you deal with your loss. As you consider your options, please keep this in mind:

What you resist, persists.

It’s hard to see it through the pain, but hanging on to sadness, anxiety, guilt and anger doesn’t honor your baby. Denying or glossing over your grief doesn’t allow you to remember him or her with love. It doesn’t help you become the courageous, confident and healthy woman you truly want to be.

Grief is a fierce force that must be reckoned with sooner or later.

When you continually avoid grief, you unintentionally sign up for days of discontent, clouded by the pain you resist. Buried feelings have a high rate of resurrection. It requires enormous energy to hold grief at bay.

However, when you choose the healing path through grief, pain becomes a new opportunity for positive transformation, spiritual refreshing and newfound meaning.

Here’s the good news: With the proper care and attention, your broken heart is designed to heal.


Empty Arms

With the warmth and compassion of a Licensed Professional Counselor and writing as a mother who has suffered the loss of a baby and a sixteen-year-old son, Pam Vredevelt offers sound answers and advice. As an expert in love and loss, Pam gives reassuring comfort to any woman fighting to maintain stability and faith in the midst of devastating heartbreak. Empty Arms: Hope and Support for Those Who Have Suffered a Miscarriage, Stillbirth, or Tubal Pregnancy is the essential guidebook for anyone suffering the agony of losing a baby.

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