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Discovering God’s Freedom From Pornography (Part 1 of 2)

Discovering God’s Freedom From Pornography (Part 1 of 2)

In this Best of 2019 broadcast, Nick Stumbo and his wife, Michelle, describe how their marriage has been restored after he found freedom from a long-time addiction to pornography and the overwhelming guilt and shame that accompanied it. They offer encouragement and hope to troubled couples who are struggling with the impact of pornography and infidelity on their marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

Original Air Date: February 27, 2019

Teaser:

Man #1: Just because I look at certain magazines or websites doesn’t mean I don’t love my wife.  Just a little bit here and there helps me relax.

Man #2: What’s the big deal?  I’m not hurting anyone, and it’s legal, isn’t it?  At least I’m not an addict like other guys I know . . .

Woman: I know men are more visual. And maybe they can’t help themselves.  But it makes me feel sick and dirty inside.

Man #3: No matter how hard I try, I can’t look away.  And every time I promise I won’t look again . . . [Sigh]

End of Teaser

John Fuller: Well if those comments reflect any part of your own personal experience with pornography we urge you to keep listening to this “Best of” edition of Focus on the Family.

We’re returning to a powerful story from earlier this year that generated a lot of response from listeners like you.

And of course, this is a sensitive topic and it’s not appropriate for younger listeners.

Your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly. And I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Pornography is one of the hardest topics we address on this broadcast, John. And I know people will want to write us or send an email to let us know how inappropriate it is. But it’s not. That’s one of the problems. You know, God has given us this incredible gift of sexuality meant for the context of marriage. In the world, and within the church, we’ve so mishandled it that it has created chaos in families. It has broken families apart.

And I think that is the core reason I want to come back to it from time to time – to teach our kids, particularly, and to equip parents to teach kids how to think of sexuality in a great way, as God’s wedding gift to us. And I’m determined to do it.

So, I know that some of you might be offended by this. Please open your heart up to the discussion, what God has intended for good. Don’t shut down. That is exactly, I think, in part why the church is in the mess that it’s in because we’re not open about this discussion. And we want to keep it behind closed doors. It’s OK. Man, the Bible is full of sexual stories that went awry. So, let’s do it the God way and do it in a healthy way. And that’s the purpose for the program today.

John: And if this is a struggle for you, let us just tell you right now we have caring Christian counselors that can walk through how to bring this issue into the light and how to find some steps on a recovery journey. Um, our number is 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459.

Jim: As I think about it, you know, during the last Super Bowl I remember watching with my boys. And I found myself scrambling for the remote every time those commercials came on. Our culture has become so saturated with sexuality. And when you’re raising kids, boys or  girls, you can’t shield them from everything. That’s why we need to teach them, especially as teenagers, about how to navigate their sexuality, and pornography and every other magnet attraction that goes right to the core of their nature as sinners.

I’m so glad we’re coming back to this Best of 2019 broadcast with Nick and Michelle Stumbo. It’s really solid stuff that will equip you to deal with these issues in your own life and in the lives of your family.

John: Nick Stumbo is the executive director of Pure Desire Ministries, which is a parachurch organization helping provide hope, freedom, and healing for those dealing with sexual brokenness. And together Nick and Michelle lead group sessions for men and women who are pursuing sexual health and purity. They share their story of working through these issues in their own marriage, often, as we’re about to hear. Nick has written a book called Setting Us Free: An Unexpected Journey Of Grace. And you can get your copy at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Here now, Nick and Michelle Stumbo on this Best of 2019 episode of Focus on the Family.

Jim: I know this is a very difficult subject. But you are so open about it. I think a lot of people are going to be helped and hopefully healed from some of the, you know, the things that they’re dealing with…

Nick: Yeah, we hope so.

Jim: …So thank you for that transparency.

Nick: Yeah.

Jim: Nick, I’m going to start with you and go through a few questions. And then we’re – Michelle, I’m going to get you in there pretty quickly. But you grew up in a godly Christian home. I mean, you are going to be the, kind of, the terror of all of us Christian parents who think we did the formula correctly. But describe that. Your dad and grandfather were pastors. You became a pastor yourself. And then that addiction took over, of pornography, for, like, 17 years.

Where did it start for you? What was the shame factor? Just give us a picture.

Nick: Yeah, my family is, I think, very typical of what we see in Christian homes. When we do events around the country with Pure Desire, we’ll routinely ask, you know, “How many of you grew up in a home that discussed sexual things or sexuality in an open and honest way?” And routinely, only 2 to 3 percent of the audience will raise their hands.

So, the vast majority of us are growing up in very spiritual, godly homes that have disconnected from our sexuality and don’t know how to handle it. And so, I learned at a very young age that anything sexual was secretive. And because of that, it felt shameful. That there was this sense the church taught me, um, sex is only for marriage, and anything outside of that is wrong. And I knew that message clearly. But when things started to enter into my life that were of a sexual nature, you know, being at a friend’s house and being shown things or on a bus at, you know, sporting trips, that sort of thing, your immediate reaction is, well, this isn’t something safe to share with my parents. I need to figure it out alone. And so, I just entered into that struggle of never wanting to do it. You know, I didn’t ever live a double life – right? – of the secret stash that I was just trying to keep from people.

In my life every time – and I think this is common for Christian men – every time was going to be the last time. Never again, I don’t need it. I don’t want it. And yet, there are systems being established in your brain and in your thinking, um, and how you’re dealing with life that just continue to take you back.

Jim: Yeah, you know, to paint the scope of this, there’s some data that you had in your book. Just give us some of the statistics that paint a picture for us about the depth and the width of this.

Nick: Yeah. We have been doing research through Pure Desire for a number of years. And we use something called the Sexual Addiction Screening Test to just kind of gauge a person’s level of struggle. And through years of this reporting, we found that 68 percent of men are struggling with sexually compulsive behavior.

Jim: Sixty-eight percent of men!

Nick: Yeah, and that number, I think, seems high to us because we – we dismiss or minimize a lot of these things. Just like I said earlier in my story, if a man is saying, “Oh, that was the last time, it’ll never happen again,” we don’t think of ourselves as having a struggle. But when a real black-and-white, yes-no question says have you ever, you know, struggled with something that felt shameful, and that’s a yes, that’s indicative of a problem. And then we also find that 25 to 30 percent of Christian women have sexual dependency issues of their own of some kind. Now, that might be more of a love addiction, a relationship addiction. Or it could be struggles of their own with pornography because it’s not just a man’s issue. You know, it’s men and women. In fact, the fastest growing demographic of pornography consumption is college-age women.

Jim: That’s amazing.

Nick: And I think in our society that that’s actually a reaction to what’s happening among college-age men — that college-age women feel the need to find out, well, what’s going on, what do I need to be to attract a guy and to get him to like me. And so, they enter into it almost out of curiosity and then become hooked in their own ways.

Jim: That 68 percent is within the church. Is that correct?

Nick: Yes. Yup.

Jim: I mean, again, that’s even more breathtaking, that it’s not a secular data point. And that means we have a problem within the community.

As you counsel men and women dealing with this kind of sexual brokenness, how is that women’s addiction? I mean, you describe it as wanting to understand men. Is it that simple? Or are more and more women exploring that as a means for satisfaction, for self-gratification?

Nick: Yeah, well, at its root, any addictive behavior really is a coping mechanism in our lives, whether it’s food or drugs or alcohol or something sexual, like pornography. That the root issue is we’re looking for a way to medicate pain or to deal with intense emotions, like failure and rejection. So, for men or women that can be what drives it to us. And I’m… I think for women, the curiosity of what are men looking at might be where it starts. Just like for a teenage boy, it’s probably not medicating their pain that starts them into pornography. It’s that they’ve got hormones, and there’s access to it. And so, they see these images that capture their thoughts and imagination.

And then it gets fused to a way of dealing with the unpleasant, negative emotions of life because in those moments of acting out with pornography, someone can feel all the things they’re not in the rest of their life. They feel wanted and desired and respected and like they’re perfect, that they’re everything they want it to be. And even though it can be followed by an avalanche of guilt and shame, it’s still that draw. So that – that can happen for women just as easily it can be for men.

You know, women tend not to be as visual. And so, it’s still a little less likely. But women have just as many intense negative emotions that they’re trying to deal with as men do. And that sexual outlet can become a reliable place to feel something that really fills up those holes or that sense of emptiness.

Jim: Right. You, in fact, in the book have a comparison with sexual addiction and a caged bird. Describe that because I think it’d be helpful to our listeners.

Nick: Yeah, and I think of a caged bird in the sense that, um, does the caged bird know what’s missing? Because in all aspects, it’s still a bird. It’s – it’s got wings and feathers and a beak. And it breathes. But if it hasn’t experienced what it is to fly and to soar, it may feel like, well, this is just what life is. And when we’ve entered into pornography and any kind of compulsive behavior sexually, we’ve essentially created our own cage because it becomes a really self-replicating system.

And that’s not the choice we were making initially. We weren’t thinking, “Oh, I want to have a destructive behavior that’ll be rooted in my life for years to come.” We just think, “Oh, this looks good, and I’m enticed by it.”

But it really becomes this pattern that is so difficult to break out of. And it can cause us to think that, “Well, this is all there is. This is just the way life is going to be.” And we hear that kind of language, unfortunately, even in the church. You know, “Boys will be boys. All men struggle with this.” Kind of this dismissive, minimizing attitude of, “Well, that’s kind of the best we can do with our sexuality in this world, so let’s just kind of make the best of it.” Whereas, as you mentioned at the beginning of the program, God’s plan for us is so beautiful and so wonderful. And if we’re really willing to look into this topic and see what freedom looks like – the kind of freedom and blessing he’s designed for our sexuality – it’s so much better than the cheap knockoff version the world gives us. And so that’s the imagery of a cage, that we’re kind of settling for the cage we’re in, not realizing that we have the key to open the door and fly out. But we’ve become too comfortable, um, in the cage.

Jim: You know, that applies across the culture. The least common denominator seems to be what human beings are aiming for, rather than something beautiful, something grand. And it’s so unfortunate because that is God’s plan …

Nick: Yeah.

Jim: …Michelle, I want to get you in here. I know (Laughter) you’ve sitting patiently there listening to this. But um… You guys met. Um, you have this background, Nick, that you’ve been struggling, probably for a few years, with this. What age did you meet and start dating?

Michelle: We met in college.

Jim: Right.

Nick: Yeah, I was a sophomore. She was a freshman.

Jim: OK, so you’d been battling this for a while, though – right? – as a teenage boy, et cetera. So, you met and dated for how long before you got married?

Nick: Almost a full three years, right?

Michelle: Three years, yep, uh-hm.

Jim: Yeah.

Nick: She probably knows the dates better than I do.

Jim: So, did that come up during that time? Did you have an idea, Michelle, that…

Michelle: (Laughter) No.

Jim: …There was a problem, or not really?

Michelle: Well, not till there was a speaker that came through the college and talked about, you know, “Before you get married, you should, like, air your dirty laundry,” so to speak.

Jim: Be open with each other.

Michelle: Yeah, about your past. And then if they, you know, can accept it and move with you, then you’re meant to be together. And if not (laughter)…

Jim: So how did that evening’s conversation go? I mean, that’s pretty bold.

Michelle: …Yeah, we had heard that a chapel service. And so, then Nick invited me out on a coffee date. And I thought we were going for coffee (laughter).

Jim: And what happened?

Michelle: And we never got out of the car (laughter).

Jim: Is that right? I mean, it just – the conversation got going.

Michelle: Yeah, he just, like, I need to tell you something…

Jim: So, you took that literally. And, Nick, you begin to share about your struggle.

Nick: Yeah, well, and it really represented what my Christian upbringing had taught me was the path to freedom, that confess your sins one to another and you will be healed. And so, I had taken that approach with my high school youth pastor and summer camp counselor and college dorm floor assistant. And so, to be honest with my wife just felt like, well, maybe this is one more piece of confession that will kind of open that door, let the light in and I’ll be free. So that was really my motive, was not – not to hurt her, just unload on her. But like, man, if I can be open and honest with her, even before we’re married, I think I can be free of it. So…since I’d already had that pattern of confession in my life, it was like, well, she needs to know. And I tried to, in, you know, just kind of a general overview, explain what I’d battled with and, um, where it was coming from and wanted her to – to know.

Jim: I think that’s admirable. But it is – um, it puts you off balance, Michelle, I’m sure.

Michelle: Very much so.

Jim: I mean, you think you’re going out for coffee with your boyfriend that maybe someday – maybe this is the…

Michelle: Well, actually, we were engaged at the time…

Jim: OK, you’re engaged. I mean, that’s even more so.

Michelle: …Yeah, so we had dated three years and got engaged.

Jim: So, I mean, how did that – how did that hit you? I mean, it had to be destabilizing.

Michelle: Very, yeah. I was – um, I think when I tell women, I’m like, I feel like I was getting punched, like where all the air is kind of, like, knocked out of you.

Jim: Right.

Michelle. When you can’t really breathe.

Nick: I think you said, “I feel like I can’t breathe.”

Michelle: I can’t breathe, yeah. You just don’t know what to do with that information because I was so shocked ’cause he led us in Bible study, he led us in prayer. He was, you know, (laughter) the godly man I had saved myself for. And I was just really shocked, like, that he could struggle with this, but…

Jim: But obviously, it’s interesting to me you didn’t say goodbye.

Michelle: No because I was like, well, I had been told in church also all men struggle with this. And so, it was probably because he wasn’t married, you know? So, all men probably struggle before they’re married. We’re gonna get married. And then…

Jim: Then that appetite will be satisfied.

Michelle: …It’ll fix the problem…

Nick: Everything will be great.

Michelle: …It’ll go away, yeah. I’ll be enough and it’ll go away, yeah. That’s what I was telling myself (laughter).

Jim: OK, yeah, I mean, that’s completely natural. And it also shows your commitment to Nick. I mean, that’s an interesting perspective. But how did you work through – I mean, you obviously said, “I do,” and these things were continuing or were you now hiding them, Nick? What was taking place?

Nick: Yeah, you know, looking back at that night, one of the things that she said – she just asked, “Well, why can’t you promise me you won’t do those things anymore?” And I remember saying to her, you know, this beautiful young woman that I wanted to give my life to, I said, “I feel like I’ve made promises like that to myself and others, and I end up breaking them sooner or later, so I want to promise you that and I’ll do my very best, but I don’t think I can.”

And what scares me looking back as a 21-year-old, I was using the language of addiction.  Recognizing there’s a problem in my life, I don’t want it, you don’t want it, but I’m acknowledging I’m not sure I can stop it. And it didn’t even occur to me at the time that that should be a red flag, like, “Hello, this is a significant issue.” And so, we do. We enter into marriage. And for a time, you know, that experience, um, kind of puts at bay other struggles. But somewhere within the first six months, there was a relapse into viewing pornography when I was away at work. And, um, just that guilt and shame of, “How could I be doing this? I have a wonderful wife. Our life of sexual intimacy is great. And yet, I’m still reaching out to this.”

And so, it really showed that there was much more going on than just sex or having some physical need met. That it was connected to other things. But at that time, I was completely blind to it. And so somewhere around that time, you know, had another one of those honest conversations. Like, here we go, I need to confess again because, like I said, I felt if I just would confess enough, sooner or later it would go away. It would be exposed enough that it would be better. And that wasn’t really the experience.

John: Our guests today on Focus on the Family are Nick and Michelle Stumbo. And this is obviously a very serious conversation about a topic that affects so many families. And here at Focus on the Family we want you to know we have help for you if this is a struggle. Our number is 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY. Online, we’re at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.  And we have Nick’s book, Setting Us Free: An Unexpected Journey Of Grace, as well as other resources, including caring Christian counselors who can talk to you if this is a problem for you.

Jim: Let me break in because you said something a moment ago I want to also highlight. What was the need? I mean, from your perspective and your experience, what was driving that compulsion? You alluded to stronger undercurrent forces because your intimacy with Michelle was strong and good and healthy, but something else was going on. What is that something else? For all men and women, what is it in that sexual experience that is driving us to really be disobedient?

Nick: Yeah, well, I want to be careful to say that it’s not just one thing. You’ve got multiple streams that are running together creating, um, a river of that behavior, if you will. So, there is definitely the draw of the images that were designed by God to find beauty in. There’s the chemical response happening in your brain that does create, not only the pleasure at the end, but just the excitement along the way is being reproduced.

Jim: That’s dopamine and other chemical reactions in our brain. It’s a reward system.

Nick: And the more we repeat it, the stronger it becomes and the more easily triggered it is. So, it could start for a guy – like, often for me in those scenarios, it would be being at work, feeling a sense of maybe procrastination, that there’s some hard work to do, I’m not sure how to do it. And with that can come fear of failure or that fear of not being good enough, that I need to perform well to be loved and accepted. And so, we don’t always know what to do with those feelings. And a guy might just describe it, as I probably would in those days – say, “Oh, I was just bored, and then I saw something and, you know, one thing led to another.”

Um, in my story, and I think in so many people’s stories, they never just go to the computer rushing to look for pornography. But it becomes this step by step back to where you’d never intended to go. And so, I – I really see now that in that area of procrastination and the fear of failure or of hard work that I couldn’t do well, it would open me up to something else that was just a convenient escape to start to disassociate from those unwanted feelings. And then the brain finds enjoyment and pleasure in that escape. And then the escape just becomes a slippery slope into the places you promised you’d never go again.

Jim: Yeah. And once again, that Barna Research, 68 percent of Christian men, people going to church, and 25 to 30 percent of women, Christian women, are experiencing this addiction or at least exposure to pornography.

Let’s go to the biblical component of this. And we’re going to come back next time and talk much more. But, um, help us understand the Biblical warning signs about sexual sin. And, you know, we all agree that all sin separates us from God. That’s the core problem. But how is sexual sin perhaps even more harmful than other sin?

Nick: Yeah, you know, sexual sin by its nature is always escalating. Um, it’s really the James 1 passages of, you know, what – what is it that entices you and drags you ways? And it – you know, the lust inside of you that give birth to temptation, and that temptation, uh, gives birth to sin. And that sin, when it’s fully conceived, gives birth to death. And I think that’s what we see happening in our sexuality – is the desires we feel are quite normal.

But then they’re being twisted by sin and by the enemy for unhealth. And that’s now temptation. And we cross the lines because we’re tempted into sin. And it doesn’t just stay there. It’s not something that just leaves you alone and allows you to stay where you’re at. Partly because of what we were saying earlier about brain chemicals, those brain chemicals experience a toleration where the same experience won’t produce the same kind of excitement or the chemical hit. And so, you’re always craving more. And we see that biblically. That’s what James 1 is saying why it leads us to death because it just continues to grow until it takes us places we never thought we’d go.

Jim: Yeah. Boy, that’s…

Nick: …And I like – the way I like to talk about is to say no one ever plans for death. You know, they never set out saying, “I’m gonna have an addiction to pornography that will one day destroy everything I hold dear.” But the problem is we don’t plan not to. We don’t…

Jim: Yeah.

Nick: …Plan effectively how to deal with the temptation and the sin to make sure we head towards life rather than allowing it to escalate towards death.

Jim: Michelle, let me, uh, turn to you as well. I mean, this is going on in your marriage. I’m trying to run these two tracks here – what is…

Nick: Yeah.

Jim: …practically happening and the – kind of the clinical approach that you’re mentioning, Nick. And then the real emotional side of it – your marriage. How was, uh, Nick’s addiction impacting your marriage after you said, “I do,” and you went in kind of fully knowing that Nick was struggling. Year one, year two? What was going on for you as Nick’s wife?

Michelle: I think going into it, you know, he did share his struggle. But I think it was a little, um, sugarcoated so to speak, like palatable.

Jim: Well, even what…

Nick: Cleaned up…

Jim: …You said a moment ago…

Nick: …Conditionally.

Michelle: Like, cleaned up a little bit.

Jim: …Didn’t prove true. I mean, you guys – you thought it’d be all over once you could satisfy… But it didn’t happen.

Michelle: Right.

Jim: And what – I mean, what – how did you (laughter) – as the wife (Laughter) did you go, “Oh, no, I’m in trouble now”? Yeah. Or what were those feelings?

Michelle: Yeah, so anger and, um, loneliness because I didn’t have anyone to share them with.

Jim: Because of the embarrassment of it or because you didn’t have that close a friend that you could trust?

Michelle: In college, I – I mean, he was working for the college. I didn’t want him to lose his job. And then when he’s the pastor of the church you’re leading, you can’t really tell the congregation. I didn’t really feel comfortable to tell parents.

Jim: Well, and in that way – this is a terrible place to end day one. And we are gonna come back next time and pick this discussion up. But I think as I was reading the book and, you know, getting ready for the program, the thing that caught my attention the most and the thing that I struggled with is that, um, you’re – you are pastoring…

Nick: Mm-hm.

Jim: …And you’re going through this battle.

Nick: Yeah.

Jim: And I know that you confessed it to the elders, but you didn’t step out of leadership. And that was – I guess, to me, that was a big question I had – is…

Nick: Yeah.

Jim: …Why didn’t you? Why didn’t you say, “OK, I’ve got to get healthy”? But you continued to pastor for 10 years.

Michelle: I think part of it is we didn’t realize it was an addiction. It was always just this little thing, you know, that happened. Like, it wasn’t this – he didn’t have an affair. He wasn’t, you know, doing it every day. It was, like, once every three months or once every six months, or – he would – he would even go a whole year and not have, like, what we consider a relapse. So, it’s like, well, maybe you’re getting better. Like…

Jim: Yeah.

Michelle: So, I think it – we didn’t really know how big – I feel – I didn’t really – I mean, I knew it was hurting me, and it was wrecking the marriage. Like, I was starting to not like this man and considering, you know, well, if this keeps happening, what do I do? Do I leave him? You know, is that biblical?

Jim: Right.

Michelle: So…

Jim: I mean, those are the struggles we want to pick up next time…

Michelle: Yeah.

Jim: …Because those are…

Nick: Yeah.

Jim: …The right questions, and I want to hear how you fought through the answers to those things. Because I’m sure there’s men and women right now thinking what do I do? I mean, my husband or my wife is in that situation.

Nick: There’s hope.

Jim: There is hope.

Nick: We’re living it.

Michelle: There’s hope (laughter).

Jim: We’re gonna come back next time and talk about that.

Nick: Part two of the story, right?

Jim: And, uh, you know, again, given the enormity of this issue, that’s why we wanted to cover it today and tomorrow because this is something that’s going on in a lot of people’s lives. We’ve got a pastoral anonymous call line here at Focus. About a third of those phone calls will be from pastors who are struggling, either with pornography, or they’re in an inappropriate relationship…

Nick: Yeah.

Jim: …With somebody.

Nick: And that’s just it – they don’t know where to go.

Jim: Right. And so then…

Nick: It’s a double bind for them.

Jim: …I applaud you both for having that open dialogue. And at least he wasn’t hiding it from you, Michelle. That is something that is good. Um, but now we got to struggle through the time period where you really battled together for your marriage…

Michelle: Uh-hm.

Jim: …For your ministry. And, uh, if you’re willing, let’s come back next time and pick it up there. Can we do that?

Michelle: Yes.

Nick: Sounds great.

Michelle: Yeah.

Jim: All right.

John: And that’s how we concluded part one of this Best of 2019 episode of Focus on the Family with Nick and Michelle Stumbo. And I hope you can join us next time for the continuation of the conversation.

Now, if pornography or some other hidden problem has you feeling trapped we do hope you’ll contact us. We have caring Christian counselors that are available for you. Call and schedule a consultation with them.

We also, of course, have Nick Stumbo’s great book, Setting Us Free, which can be a really useful tool for healing, as well.

We’ll send a copy of that book when you make a generous donation of any amount to Focus on the Family today.

Our number is 800.232.6459. 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY, or donate and get that book at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: And let me encourage you, as you’ve been listening to this program, to think about how Focus on the Family has benefited you during this past year. Maybe you’ve heard a powerful broadcast like the one today. Or you received resources from us. Or you found something helpful at one of our websites.

Whatever it might have been, would you be willing to play that blessing forward so that more individuals and families will be able to get the help they need in 2020? This month we’re inviting listeners like you to “Share the gift of family” by helping us strengthen marriages, equip parents, and spread the good news of Jesus Christ.

And if you’ve been a faithful supporter of Focus, thank you so much for that. But if you’ve never given before, or it’s been awhile since we’ve heard from you, can you help us financially today?

Right now, we have a matching gift which means anything you give will be doubled. So, please be generous with your giving to Focus on the Family today.

John: You can contribute to the work here at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Well, coming up next time, how the Stumbo’s finally experienced God’s healing from the trap of pornography.

Teaser:

Nick: And the nature of sexual sin – it isolates us. And so, when we try to fix it in isolation, that doesn’t work. And we want to be better and not have anyone know about it. But the pathway to being better is having other people know about it and be part of that journey with us.

End of Teaser

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How I Found God Through My Abortion Journey (Part 2 of 2)

Cynthia Wenz shares her incredible testimony of discovering God’s love and forgiveness. As a teenager, Cynthia lived recklessly and strayed away from the Lord. By age 29, she had three abortions, numbing herself from the reality of killing her children. After realizing her mistakes, Cynthia became pro-life and experienced many years of turmoil and grief before undergoing post-abortion recovery. She now advocates for pregnancy resource centers across the nation. (Part 2 of 2)

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Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Pastor Dave Carder offers couples practical advice for protecting their marriages from adultery in a discussion based on his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. (Part 1 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Pastor Dave Carder offers couples practical advice for protecting their marriages from adultery in a discussion based on his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. (Part 2 of 2)

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!