The Progression of Pornography Addiction
My story followed the typical progression of addiction to pornography: early exposure, addiction, escalation, desensitization and acting out sexually. Then one person’s response to my story changed my life.
Imagine your spouse coming to you and saying, “Honey, we need to talk.” As the words come out, your heart is broken, and reality sets in: your spouse has a problem with pornography. If that’s you, you’re not alone. Welcome to No Porn Marriage, a podcast series from Focus on the Family, hosted by Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley. In this series, they discuss why pornography hurts a marriage and the freedom found in God’s grace. Whether you’ve struggled with pornography or been hurt by your spouse’s usage of it, this series will help you start a journey toward healing.
Dr. Greg Smalley serves as the Vice President of Marriage at Focus on the Family. He develops and oversees initiatives that prepare individuals for marriage, strengthen and nurture existing marriages and help couples in marital crises. Prior to joining Focus, Smalley worked for the Center for Relationship Enrichment at John Brown University and as President of the National Institute of Marriage.
Erin Smalley serves as the Marriage Strategic Spokesperson for Focus on the Family's marriage ministry. In addition to her work at Focus, Smalley is a conference speaker. She presents with her husband, Dr. Greg Smalley, at marriage enrichment seminars where they guide husbands and wives in taking steps toward enjoying deeply satisfying marriages.
Pornography is a dark epidemic in our world today, even within many of our churches. But through God’s grace, men and women are experiencing the bright light of freedom. Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley share part of their story and talk with Pastor D.A. Horton and his wife Elicia about their healing process from past pornography abuse.
A pornography addiction usually starts with something small, like seeing an online ad or hearing a song with explicit lyrics on the radio. Erin and Greg give some practical ways for protecting your heart from sexual content in the media; Dr. Juli Slattery and Dannah Gresh talk about the dangers of erotic literature; Pastor Levi Lusko shares about the modern-day abuse of dating apps; and author Jamie Ivey explains how pornography affects men and women differently.
Like mold on dinner, pornography can spoil the precious gift of intimacy in your marriage. Chris and Cindy Beall discuss how sexual addiction led him to have an affair; Jonathan Daugherty tells the story of how pornography nearly cost him his marriage; and Greg and Erin share more of their story of taking steps toward healing.
Confessing a pornography problem may have shattered your spouse’s heart, but your marriage doesn’t have to end there. Greg and Erin give tips for walking through the process of healing with your spouse; Jamie Ivey shares her story of asking a friend for help; and Jonathan Daugherty explains why restoration must be intentional.
As your marriage is healing from a pornography problem, rebuilding trust with your spouse will take time. Greg and Erin explain the importance of allowing your spouse time to heal; and Nick and Michelle Stumbo share their story of learning to rebuild trust.
God’s gift of sex creates a special bond between you and your spouse. Greg and Erin talk about the blessing physical intimacy can be for a marriage; Linda Dillow and Dr. Juli Slattery explain how wives can approach sex in a healthy way; and Dr. Gary Chapman gives husbands tips for letting go of sexual selfishness.
My story followed the typical progression of addiction to pornography: early exposure, addiction, escalation, desensitization and acting out sexually. Then one person’s response to my story changed my life.
After your spouse confesses a pornography addiction, you might feel stuck. The journey to healing starts by acknowledging that you’re not alone. Here are some mile markers to guide you along the way.
Ultimately, pornography addicts are dependent on God for recovery. But certain patterns lead to healing, and others result in heartbreak.
Erectile dysfunction (ED) is not new, but ED is no longer occurring only in middle-aged and older men. Many men with ED are under 40. Research suggests this might be the result of pornography addiction.
Does viewing pornography as a couple enhance intimacy in marriage? Marital sexuality is to be exclusive. So, pornography not only decreases true intimacy in marriage but actually prevents it.
Counselors have seen that the major benefits of truth-telling are worth enduring the challenges. Before you tell your spouse about your secret past, you have to admit a few things to yourself.
This is the story of one pastor’s battle for sexual integrity and how God helped him overcome pornography so he could help people with similar struggles. God transforms us so we might help others.
Karen was raised in a dysfunctional home where family members did not discuss issues. But as painful as talking about her husband’s use of pornography was, Karen simply could not ignore it.
We may stereotypically think of sexual temptation as a man’s problem, but women are not immune to the lure of romance depicted in new and graphic forms of entertainment.
