Greg Smalley

When your spouse gets on your nerves, it hits much closer to home than when someone else does. If left unchecked, those little annoyances can become sources of tension and conflict. John and the Smalleys explain how working through your differences can make you a stronger couple.

Join Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley on Facebook Live as they share ideas and insights to strengthen your relationship.

It’s common for spouses with completely different personalities to find each other. The early bird marries a night owl, and an extrovert marries an introvert, With such contrasts, it’s easy to get annoyed with your spouse. But what if there was a way to have fun with your differences? John and the Smalleys give some helpful tips for couples who can’t see past their opinions.

God designed sex to be a wonderful gift for you and your spouse. Yet, many couples are trying to work through a sexual struggle. If that’s you today, we want to give you some hope. John, Greg and Erin discuss God’s design for sexuality, and offer encouragement to those with a dark sexual past. Featuring guests Milan and Kay Yerkovich.

Some of the sweetest memories with your spouse will probably involve laughing together. The truth is, appreciating each other’s sense of humor can be one of the greatest blessings in your relationship. Greg and Erin tell John about how they’ve learned to have fun and laugh together as a couple. Featuring guest Pastor Ted Cunningham.

We all want our spouse to be there for us. No matter what happens in life, having a faithful mate through the good and bad times can be so comforting. John talks with Greg and Erin about what it looks like for husbands to treat their wives well through the ups and downs of life. Featuring guest Katharine Hill.

It’s been said before that as the seasons change, so do we as people. The truth is, as years come and go, you and your spouse won’t be the same people as when you first got married. John, Greg and Erin give some tips on doing marriage well through changing seasons. Featuring guest Katharine Hill.

It’s fair to say you and your spouse are not the same person. When your differences become more evident, it’s easy to get into arguments over things like money, the kids, or having company over for dinner. John and the Smalleys give some helpful ideas for working through differences with your spouse. Featuring guest Arlene Pellicane.

Talking to your spouse about sex can be very awkward and uncomfortable. If you are trying to work through a sexual struggle in your marriage, you’re not alone. Greg, Erin, and John discuss how couples can have honest and healthy conversations about sex. Featuring guest Arlene Pellicane.

When you and your spouse run into conflict, the key to success is knowing which battles to fight and which ones to avoid. John, Greg and Erin offer some helpful ideas for working through conflict successfully with your spouse, and how to rely on God’s strength as you face challenges together. Featuring guest Leslie Vernick.

When your spouse hurts you, your knee-jerk reaction might be to hold on tightly to unforgiveness. But choosing not to forgive can cause even more damage to your relationship. John, Erin and Greg weigh in on why forgiveness can set your marriage free from resentment. Featuring guest Leslie Vernick.

It’s hard to describe the pain of walking through your child’s divorce. Here are some ways to deal with the hurt and be a safe place and a firm foundation for them.

What were some things that attracted you to your spouse? Maybe, it was his or her sense of humor, or the way he or she laughed? Greg and Erin tell John about how humor brought them together, and why laughter can help you overcome a struggle in your relationship. Featuring guest Pastor Ted Cunningham.

Political issues can be challenging in any relationship, but they’re especially challenging for a married couple. No matter how serious your political differences may be, those differences should never impact your marriage covenant.

A moment that goes wrong can turn into one of your funniest memories. The truth is, learning to laugh together can be one of the greatest blessings in your marriage. Greg, Erin and John share a funny story and give a few ideas for how to make humor part of your marriage. Featuring guest Ted Cunningham.

As your kids grow up, changes will happen in your marriage. No matter how much you love your children, your marriage must remain a priority. Greg, Erin and John discuss transitions couples go through, and adjusting to changes with your children. Featuring guest Katherine Hill.

Your spouse might be your best friend, but doing life with other couples can make your marriage even stronger. None of us are meant to go through life and marriage alone. Greg and Erin Smalley talk with John about the difference that friends have made in their marriage. Featuring guest Katherine Hill.

As your children come and grow, it’s good for you and your spouse to have fun activities you enjoy doing together. Whether they’re big or small, the ultimate goal is to connect with each other. John, Greg and Erin discuss things they enjoy doing with their spouse, and how fun activities have helped their marriages. Featuring guest Arlene Pellicane.

You come home from a busy day, and instead of looking forward to a romantic candlelit dinner with your spouse, you’re having to watch the kids for the evening. While every season brings blessings, is romance even possible on those days? John and the Smalleys discuss what a husband can do to keep romance alive in the busy times. Featuring guest Arlene Pellicane.

During those moments when your spouse is acting rude, can you extend grace in spite of how they’re showing up? Can you protect your marriage by not reacting or not engaging in an unkind way?

Everyone wants a good marriage, but having one takes a lot of work. Sometimes, a change in perspective is what you need to take your relationship to the next level. John, Greg and Erin discuss how having a “long-term lens” perspective can help your marriage.

When you and your spouse face a challenge, how you respond can mean the difference between solving the problem or letting it cause weeks of tension. Through God’s grace, you can respond to problems in a way that’s helpful for your marriage. Greg and Erin share with John about how they’ve learned to show each other grace when things aren’t perfect. (Part 1 of 2)

Time is a precious gift, but in a non-stop world, finding a few minutes together is hard to do. When your schedule is full, having a deep conversation with your spouse can feel like just another checklist item. John, Greg and Erin provide some practical ideas for spending more time with your spouse.

In the heat of an argument, it’s easy to say something to your spouse that you’ll later regret. When you’re angry after a conflict, it’s critical to deal with it rather than stuff it away. John, Greg and Erin will give some helpful solutions for dealing with anger and conflict well.

Growing together spiritually in your marriage doesn’t happen by accident. Sometimes, asking your spouse questions is one of the best ways to start. John, Greg and Erin explain the connection between asking questions and spiritual growth in your relationship.

Every couple faces hardship. Whether it’s a financial struggle, a strong disagreement, or problems with a child, conflict can strengthen your marriage, or drive you further apart. The Smalleys talk with John about how they’ve learned to work together in the hard seasons.

It’s not an uncommon marriage problem: one spouse is working hard, but the other is indifferent. When this scenario happens, it can be easy for the marriage to start coasting rather than growing. John, Greg and Erin give some ideas for how to avoid coasting in your marriage.

In a discussion based on their book 9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage, Drs. Greg Smalley and Bob Paul describe how cultural myths and fairy-tale expectations about marriage have a detrimental effect on couples, and how knowing and applying biblical truth can help those couples develop a thriving marriage. (Part 2 of 2)

In a discussion based on their book 9 Lies That Will Destroy Your Marriage, Drs. Greg Smalley and Bob Paul describe how cultural myths and fairy-tale expectations about marriage have a detrimental effect on couples, and how knowing and applying biblical truth can help those couples develop a thriving marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

Have you ever felt like you’re doing all the work in your marriage, but your spouse isn’t giving anything back? The truth is, we’ve all been selfish at some point. Erin, Greg and John describe how they’ve worked through selfishness in their own marriages.

Having a great marriage sometimes requires not getting your way. Without healthy compromise, selfishness can rob your relationship of strength and joy. John and the Smalley’s explain the difference between good compromise and bad compromise in your marriage. Featuring Katherine Hill. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

We all desire to be heard by our spouse. But in our technology saturated world, it can be easy to get distracted and tune your spouse out. John, Erin and Greg explain how they’ve learned to get better at listening and provide some helpful ideas for improving your listening skills. Featuring Katherine Hill. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

How you handle conflict in your marriage can help or hurt your relationship. Sometimes, before you get into an argument, it’s good to have rules for how you’ll handle it. John, Erin and Greg talk about the rules they have for dealing with conflict well. Featuring Pastor D.A. and Elicia Horton. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Marriage is far from perfect. We’ve all faced a misunderstood comment or a tough season with our spouse. What do you do when your spouse says or does something that hurts you? John, Greg and Erin give some helpful tips for dealing with an offense in your marriage. Featuring Pastor D.A. and Elicia Horton. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Your spouse may be trying to do a good a job, but he or she can only do so much. What do you do when your spouse isn’t meeting your expectations? John, Greg and Erin talk about letting go of unrealistic expectations and what it means to find true happiness, even when you’re facing conflict. Featuring Leslie Vernick. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

What if I told you that a small act of kindness could diffuse an argument with your spouse? While it’s not a guarantee, choosing kindness in the midst of a heated conversation can go a long way for your marriage, John asks the Smalley’s about how choosing to be kind has helped their relationship. Featuring Leslie Vernick. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Every married couple has to have difficult conversations from time to time. In those moments, it’s important to choose your words carefully and not use them carelessly. John, Greg and Erin discuss the damage that can be done by careless words and explain how tough conversations can actually benefit your marriage. Featuring Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

When you or your spouse overreact to a problem, it can lead to hurt feelings and stress in your relationship. As emotions run high, diffusing the tension is critical for the health of your marriage. John, Greg and Erin will provide some help for couples who are facing unresolved conflict. Featuring Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Pornography — whether used infrequently or as an addiction — is a big deal. And it can have a major impact on a marriage.

When you don’t feel those warm, romantic feelings, it can be a great time to remind yourself of how you fell in love with your spouse. John, Greg and Erin give some helpful ideas for bringing romance back into your relationship. Featuring Katherine Hill. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

One of the best ways to have fun with your spouse is to laugh together. John talks with Greg and Erin about how laugher has benefitted their marriage. Featuring Pastor Ted Cunningham. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

I wasn’t fully on board with my wife’s dreams to adopt. But we finally found ourselves on the same page. We have some suggestions for aligning your dreams so that you’re headed toward the same goal.

A fight with your spouse can be very uncomfortable. But after working through a conflict, your marriage can be stronger. John, Erin and Greg describe why having God at the center of your relationship can help you work through conflict with your spouse. Featuring Pastor D. A Horton and Elicia Horton. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

When you aren’t in a good mood, it’s easy to be rude to your spouse. As negative emotions come, how do you respond? Greg and Erin talk with John about how to tell your spouse the way you feel, without being rude. Featuring Dr. Josh and Christi Straub Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Communicating your feelings to your spouse is critical for maintaining a healthy marriage. It’s especially important when raising little children together. Greg, Erin and John discuss ways they’ve learned to communicate while raising young kids. Featuring Dr. Josh and Christi Straub Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

It’s usually not helpful to lecture adult children, but you can model Christ’s love for them. John and Danny describe how to leave the door open for a relationship with a prodigal child. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/parentingpodcast. Or, call 1-800-A-FAMILY.

A comforting spouse can be a great gift as you’re going through a hard season. When you receive comfort from him or her, it’s also important to give it back. John, Greg and Erin discuss some ways they’ve learned to console their spouse during difficult times. Featuring Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Everyone has a reaction to stress. In stressful moments, how do you and your spouse respond? John, Greg and Erin talk about things that have brought them comfort whenever life feels overwhelming. Featuring Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

When a hard conversation is needed, it’s critical to show your spouse a lot of grace. Greg, Erin and John talk about ways they’ve learned to make the tough conversations productive, and will provide some helpful guidelines you can apply in your marriage. Featuring Dr. David Clarke. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

All of us have baggage. The key is to not sweep it under the rug, but to deal with it. Greg, Erin and John will help couples talk about and deal with past issues. Featuring Pastor D.A. and Elicia Horton. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

We all have things we’re not proud of, but how much of your past should you share with your past? John, Erin and Greg give some advice for how to talk about your past in a healthy and productive way. Featuring Pastor D.A. and Elicia Horton. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

There are times where every couple doesn’t feel as close as they desire. How do you handle those moments? John, Greg and Erin talk about their own experiences of working through the seasons of feeling disconnected. Featuring Dr. Josh and Christi Straub. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Every couple faces times of feeling disconnected. That can especially be true when you’re trying to balance the demands of raising children and your career. John, Greg and Erin share things they learned and struggled with while facing the stresses of career and taking care of their kids. Featuring Dr. Josh and Christi Straub. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

When you feel overwhelmed by life’s challenges, having a spouse to support you is one of life’s greatest gifts. But in those tough seasons, your relationship can grow stronger than before. John and the Smalley’s give some tips for strengthening your marriage in the challenging seasons. Featuring Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

What do you do when your spouse comes from an abusive home? The pain can last for years, but it doesn’t have to be the end of your story. Erin, Greg and John give a dose of hope to couples who are struggling with abuse from the past. Featuring Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Many couples are experiencing marriage burnout because of pressures and daily aggravations related to the pandemic. Some people mistakenly start to think that something is wrong with their marriage.

You can try your best, but some things in marriage are only doable with God’s help. Without His influence, your efforts to be kind to your mate will only go so far. John, Greg and Erin discuss how God’s love helps them to talk kindly to their spouse. Featuring Dr. David Clarke. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

News flash: you and your spouse communicate differently. With such stark contrasts, you’ll eventually run into a misunderstanding. John, Erin and Greg explain how men and women are wired, and ways they’ve learned to better communicate in marriage. Featuring Dr. David Clarke. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

The number of people pursuing divorce was 34 percent higher during the period of March through June 2020 compared to the same time the previous year. But by following eight straightforward guidelines, most marriages can thrive.

In parenting, actions speak louder than words. John and Danny discuss how to follow through on your promises — and teach your kids you mean what you say. Featuring Michael Anderson and Dr. Timothy Johanson.

Most Christian couples at some point will feel like they’re not growing spiritually. How do you get out of those ruts? John, Greg and Erin lend some hope to couples who feel spiritually stuck, and give practical ideas for how you and your spouse can get closer to God. Featuring Pastor Craig Groeschel.

Whether you’re a first-born or the baby of the family, we all have a common struggle—selfishness. How do you get rid of it? John and the Smalley’s talk about learning to recognize and let go of selfishness in their own marriages. Featuring Dr. Kevin Leman.

Appreciating your spouse’s personality can prevent a lot of arguments. But what if your birth order and personality were connected? Erin, Greg and John talk about where they are in the birth-order and how it’s influenced their personalities. Featuring Dr. Kevin Leman.

We all have something from our childhood that can negatively affect our marriage. Whether it was a painful event or an unhealthy habit, we must deal with it. Greg and Erin talk with John about how they’ve learned to deal with their pasts. Featuring Milan and Kay Yerkovich.

When you treat your spouse well, you’re setting a good example for your kids. No matter what it seems like, your son or daughter is watching how you talk to each other. Greg and Erin talk about a couple they’ve seen set a good example. Featuring Milan and Kay Yerkovich. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Every wife wants a listening husband. By listening, he shows her how much he cares about her heart. Greg talks with John about how he’s learned to listen to his wife Erin. Featuring Dr. David and Sandy Clarke. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

If busyness, exhaustion, and distraction have caused you and your spouse to drift apart, listen in as Dr. Greg Smalley and his wife, Erin, offer practical suggestions for rekindling intimacy in a discussion based on their book Reconnected: Moving From Roomates to Soulmates in Your Marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

If busyness, exhaustion, and distraction have caused you and your spouse to drift apart, listen in as Dr. Greg Smalley and his wife, Erin, offer practical suggestions for rekindling intimacy in a discussion based on their book Reconnected: Moving From Roomates to Soulmates in Your Marriage. (Part 1 of 2)

Misunderstandings are part of marriage sometimes. How you respond to a misunderstanding can lead to weeks of tension or better conflict resolution with your spouse. Greg and Erin talk with John about how they’ve worked through tension in their own relationship. Featuring Dr. David Clarke. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

As a husband, it’s critically important to lead your wife and children toward God. But the big question is, how? Greg and John give advice for leading your family spiritually, and Erin talks about how she’s learned to encourage her husband in his role. Featuring Pastor Craig Groeschel. Find us online at focusonthefamily.com/marriagepodcast or call 1-800-A-FAMILY

Meaningful connection with your spouse can be very special, but finding it takes intentional effort from both spouses. It can also be easy to let those moments slip away during busy seasons. Greg, Erin and John offer some helpful ideas on making time for your spouse during busy times. Featuring Pastor Craig Groeschel.

What could be the impact of sharing intimate details about your spouse without their blessing? And what can you do about it after it happens?

There’s an old saying that in marriage, opposites attract. But what do you do when those same qualities that attracted you start driving you crazy? Greg, Erin and John talk about the difference that God’s love can make in your marriage, even when your spouse falls short. Featuring Dr. Kevin Leman.

Understanding your spouse’s personality can improve the quality of your relationship. Greg, Erin and John will explain how a taking a personality test can improve the communication in your marriage. Featuring Dr. Kevin Leman.

Unchecked stress will burn your marriage out. But having supportive, godly friends can make a huge difference in your relationship. Greg, Erin and John discuss the difference that good friends can make during difficult seasons. Featuring Milan & Kay Yerkovich.

Stressful seasons can be a big test for your marriage. How do you respond when they come? John and the Smalleys explain how stress can actually serve as a benefit for your marriage. Featuring Milan & Kay Yerkovich.

Moments of meaningful connection with your spouse don’t arrive like a free package on your doorstep. They take intentional effort and lots of understanding. Greg, Erin and John discuss how to make time for your spouse, even when one is an introvert and the other is an extrovert. Featuring Dr. David Clarke, Jean Daly & Sandy Clarke.

Communicating with your spouse can sometimes feel like trying to understand a new language. But by listening to each other, your relationship can get stronger. John talks with Greg and Erin Smalley about why it’s important for a husband to listen to his wife. Featuring Dr. David Clarke.

We all long for intimacy in our marriage, but how do we find it? John, Greg and Erin talk about why praying together leads to deeper intimacy with your spouse. Featuring Pastor Craig Groeschel.

Sibling conflict happens in every family. The question is, how should you respond? John and Danny consider how to deal with sibling rivalry. Featuring Courtney DeFeo.

Marriage is a lot of work, but it doesn’t always have to be serious. Having fun together is one of the best ways to liven up your relationship. John, Greg and Erin discuss why dating your spouse can benefit your marriage.

Learning how to bless your spouse is a wonderful thing. But what if you served him or her without expecting anything in return? John and the Smalleys discuss how to maintain a servant’s heart through the changing seasons of marriage.

Many people in our culture believe that fatherhood isn’t important or is obsolete. But a husband and a father can make a great difference in their family by using the strengths and skills God has given them.

What will marriage be like in the future after the coronavirus? The impact of the pandemic stress on couples will either strengthen or weaken their marriage.

It’s time to start gradually getting back to normal. What are your and your spouse’s expectations for this next stage? And how do you readjust — yet again?

God desires for you to deeply grasp your wife’s value. Here are some ways to cherish your wife and to recognize her value.

Many couples are dealing with difficult issues caused by the coronavirus. But it’s possible to build a stronger marriage by adopting new habits.

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley describe how you can see the challenges of the coronavirus pandemic as an opportunity to strengthen your marriage. The Smalleys share stories of their own confinement experience and insights they’ve gained that can help you reconnect with your spouse and develop a thriving relationship.

Some marriage challenges seem too big to handle. If you’re facing giants in your marriage, here’s a battle plan to help you defeat them.

Build strength in your marriage through loving routines

Uncover the lie that distorts true marital unity

It’s never easy to manage conflict in a marriage. The coronavirus has added even more challenges. Learn how to work through the conflict.

Being quarantined together doesn’t help some couples grow closer. The added strain makes existing problems worse.

Love is a sacrifice. We should treat our spouse as someone of great value and care for their needs. But sacrifice should be motivated by love, not fear.

Whenever we experience loss, we become vulnerable to getting stuck in the grief process. We need to grieve to restore balance. A husband or wife can provide healing for a grieving spouse.

The next several weeks won’t be easy. But there are things you can do to lower the stress level and find peace during the coronavirus quarantine.

Authors Greg and Erin Smalley encourage spouses to embrace each other’s differences, focusing on their good qualities instead of their faults.

When you show your generosity, you’re expressing an important underlying message that your spouse needs to hear: ‘You matter. You’re valued.’

Whether you or your spouse recently confessed extramarital affair, we want to help you recover from the affair amid this overwhelming pain.

Greg Smalley and John Trent explain how spouses and parents can avoid miscommunication and conflict by using “word pictures,” which are simple metaphors to help clarify thoughts and feelings. The discussion is based on a book by John and Greg’s father, Gary Smalley, titled The Language of Love: The Secret to Being Instantly Understood.

Your daughter’s boyfriend has asked you for her hand in marriage. What questions should you ask him before giving your blessing? Dr. Greg Smalley offers practical guidance covering a variety of topics including communication styles, handling conflict, finances, and more.

When you say, “Just relax,” the person you’re talking to hears something quite different: “I’m not taking you seriously.” So they raise the intensity level a notch or two to make sure you do.

To determine marriage health, couples need to monitor their relational fitness to catch problems they might miss. Here are some questions to help you.

Active listening is important when you’re talking to your spouse. Here’s how to focus on your spouse’s feelings and deepen your relationship.

What questions should you ask a young man who wants to marry your daughter? Answers to these 12 big, important, overarching questions might hold the key to your daughter’s future happiness.

Authors Greg and Erin Smalley offer engaged couples practical advice in a discussion based on their new book, Ready to Wed: 12 Ways to Start a Marriage You’ll Love. (Part 2 of 2)

Authors Greg and Erin Smalley offer engaged couples practical advice in a discussion based on their new book, Ready to Wed: 12 Ways to Start a Marriage You’ll Love. (Part 1 of 2)

We need the encouragement of friends and family — not just when a marriage begins, but to keep it from ending. Our loved ones can make the difference between relationship life and death.

Our kids are constantly watching us, and how we treat our spouse is probably how our children will treat their own spouse someday. Your marriage is your child’s blueprint for intimacy and relationships.

Authors Greg and Erin Smalley describe how couples can develop spiritual and relational intimacy.

Building a shared spiritual relationship can feel like a roller coaster ride. But Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley have discovered three key experiences to help strengthen a couple’s spiritual connection.

Our guests address the common concerns of moms- and dads-to-be, and explain how a couple can be intentional about their marriage – both during pregnancy and after the birth of their baby.

Kim and Randy learned to live independently while Randy was traveling for work, but they lost the sense of unity that’s critical for a marriage. Here are tips to fix the troubles caused by travels.

The goal of a great marriage conversation is to affirm what your spouse is doing right, to exchange ideas and to offer suggestions for the future. Use these questions to get that process started.

One of every six boys is sexually abused. And men carry the impact of abuse with them long afterward. Without a safe space to process his story, a man may simply shut down and lock away his memories.

God has placed passions in your heart—and also in your spouse’s. Encourage each other in following dreams, even if you have to step out of your comfort zone to do it. You’ll enjoy a richer marriage.

Why are we unhappy in marriage? How can we repair our broken relationship? We can find healing through commitment, communication and Christ.

Being a better husband doesn’t mean that you can fix everything, it means being emotionally responsive. And there are three components to that: accessibility, responsiveness and engagement.

Taking time to rest—physically, emotionally, spiritually and mentally—is in the best interest of you and your marriage. God doesn’t want you to be an empty, exhausted person with nothing to give.

Dr. Greg Smalley and his wife, Erin, offer advice and encouragement to wives in a discussion based on their new book, The Wholehearted Wife: 10 Keys to a More Loving Relationship. (Part 2 of 2)

Dr. Greg Smalley and his wife, Erin, offer advice and encouragement to wives in a discussion based on their new book, The Wholehearted Wife: 10 Keys to a More Loving Relationship. (Part 1 of 2)

Is your husband moody, angry or fearful? He may have difficulties at work. Dr. Greg Smalley offers practical methods that his wife, Erin, has used to help him navigate these work-related challenges.

We’re too busy. Instead of waiting for long, uninterrupted blocks of time to strengthen your marriage, take advantage of key moments that happen every day.

All couples fight. And it feels as if we’re fighting about something. But when we look at our conflicts, they can sound pretty insignificant. Big things don’t ensnare us as often as the little things.

Maybe you never learned teamwork. Maybe you came from a broken home. Or the dynamics of your marriage may make it difficult to connect. Whatever the reason, loneliness in marriage can be overcome.

Just as a flavors can spice up a dish, differences improve our marriage. While differences bring variety, they also create challenges. So how can a couple use their differences to strengthen their marriage?

Painful wounds can cause us to forget who God made us to be, and we start believing lies that affect what we think about ourselves and how we relate. That’s especially true in how we relate to our spouse.

A serious illness or the death of a loved one can shake a Christian’s faith to the foundation. So when your spouse has a crisis of faith and stops praying, what can you do to encourage him or her?

Health scares can test the strongest of marriages. So, when someone — or everyone — in the family becomes sick, what are the best ways to manage the marriage relationship and remain a strong team?

Family and friends have an active role to play in marriages. What can you do to build a community that encourages healthy relationships for husbands and wives?

Every popular romance story portrays a loving bond so special it comes just once in a lifetime. How can you ensure that your own romance has a lifetime filled with those happy-ever-after endings?

True romance is more about being captivated by your spouse than buying flowers or chocolate. And captivation is all about curiosity and interest — being allured by your spouse.

We’d be wise to listen to those who have been married for a long time. They have important information for us. These five lessons can help us build a strong foundation for a life-long marriage.

When pressure to have the perfect holiday builds relationship tension, we need to change our unrealistic expectations. Then we can better appreciate the time spent connecting with family members.

Although he wasn’t willing to admit it at first, Dr. Greg Smalley felt that God was making him aware of how selfishness causes issues in his marriage. Greg shares some of the things he’s learned.

Complacency and routine can push out the small, but important, acts of kindness in a marriage. But it’s not too late. You can start showing kindness to your husband or wife today.

Dr. Greg and Mrs. Erin Smalley explain how conflict, if handled well, can actually strengthen a marriage, and offer practical advice for navigating disagreements, so that they lead to relational intimacy, rather than division.

So many marriages end in divorce because husbands and wives simply give up. They lack grit. Couples who wish to succeed in marriage need passion and perseverance.

Our expressions of sincere thankfulness can bless our wife or husband and strengthen our relationship. We are to rejoice in our spouse. But how can we bless our spouse by rejoicing in him or her? 

Lying is almost always about protecting self.  When we’re tempted to lie, we can ask ourselves, What does this fib do for me? Then we can ask, What are the personal and relational costs of this lie?

Once conflict begins, it’s hard to defuse. Before you can begin to talk over the conflict like reasonable, loving adults, you have to pry your closed hearts open again.

After years or even decades of marriage, how can you pursue your spouse? Three things — understanding, action and serving — can help you get on the right track.

When we find the love of our lives, we don’t want her or him to get away. We woo. We chase. We cleave. But we often stop our pursuit when we get married.

The key to a great marriage is communication. What kind of communication? Dr. Greg Smalley recommends couples have four key marriage conversations.

When your wife says there’s something wrong with your marriage, guess what, there’s probably something wrong with your marriage. And for the sake of that marriage, a husband would do well to listen.

Celebrating an anniversary shows that marriage is a priority in our life. It gives us a chance to pull back from the daily grind and relive a moment that changed our life forever.

God wants us to have friends. And that can include having opposite-sex friendships. But those friendships should come with boundaries.

It’s time to look at some of the real-world issues that may be preventing you from reaching your full sexual potential as a couple.

Marriage is designed to be a place of trust, security and commitment, and nowhere is this more critical than in the sexual relationship between husband and wife.

For a husband and wife, the sexual act is the focal point, the symbol, and the physical expression of the leaving, the cleaving, and the becoming one flesh that define the very essence of marriage.

The bottom line is this: physical intimacy is an incredibly important component of any marriage.

The phrase “yada, yada, yada” is used to indicate that something was predictable, repetitive or boring. But the Bible intended to communicate something very different through the Hebrew word yada.

Dr. Greg and Mrs. Erin Smalley examine the various types of intimacy in marriage – physical, emotional, relational and spiritual – and offer advice for how a husband and wife can cultivate closeness.

The smartphone has become a “third wheel” in many marriages, causing husbands and wives to feel they are competing with their spouse’s phone for time and attention.

What do you do when you’re stressed out? When you deal with stressful events in unhealthy ways, you create new problems in your relationships. But there are ways to constructively deal with stress.

God created us to be in relationship — with Him and with others. This is why we need to be intentional about regularly connecting with other like-minded couples. We need a strong community surrounding us.

Good communication is the lifeblood of a successful marriage, so when spouses stop talking at a deep level, their marriages slowly die. A marriage will only be as good as a couple’s communication.

When you share the chores with a teammate mentality and when your goal is to out-serve each other, you can bring an end to the chore wars in your home.

Date night is a fantastic way to make sure you and your wife are connecting positively and enjoying each other’s company on a regular basis. It doesn’t have to be expensive or elaborate.

Grace believes the best about your spouse. It fights through the messiness of a particular moment or behavior and remembers that your spouse is a son or daughter of the Most High King.

It’s true that emotional connection doesn’t come easily for many men. But God desires that we engage our families wholeheartedly — with all our heart, soul, mind and strength!

A successful marriage requires two mature individuals who are committed to personal growth and development. You won’t reach perfection in this life, but you can continue to pursue Christlikeness.

This date idea will give you the opportunity to invest as a couple in the well-being of someone else. You’ll likely experience a deeper marital bond and sense of intimacy through serving together.

What are their rights vs. your responsibility?

As they examine the subversion of authentic masculinity in today’s culture, Focus on the Family’s Jim Daly and Greg Smalley describe how men can strengthen their family by reclaiming their authentic, God-designed roles as husbands and fathers.

There are many culturally perpetuated stereotypes about men: They’re tough, highly competitive and obsessed with sex and sports. But what does Scripture teach about true masculinity?

One of the most sacred times in a marriage relationship is from the time that you and your spouse get into bed until you fall asleep. You can be intentional with this time at the end of each day.

With personal stories and humor, Dr. Greg and Mrs. Erin Smalley reflect on the importance of marital commitment and offer insights on how you and your spouse can strengthen your relational endurance and conflict resolution skills.

Dr. Greg Smalley hated making the bed but realized his resistance had become selfish. Read how he decided to serve and sacrifice for his wife.

It’s not only possible to survive a crisis, but difficult times can also be redeemed by God and transformed into experiences that will help make your marriage stronger. 

Dr. Greg Smalley offers encouragement to parents who are struggling with the challenges of raising teens.

Sex is a wonderful gift given by God to a married couple as a means of experiencing a sacred union.

When we express contempt, we can become truly mean and disrespectful. But the antidote for contempt is to see the positive — what is true about your spouse.

The way we tell our past story reflects how we feel about our present marriage relationship.

It takes intentionality to overcome the tendency for talk with your spouse to morph from meaningful to administrative. Deep, meaningful conversation is a must for couples hoping to stay connected.

Planning for “the day” or for a lifetime? Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley discuss the benefits of preparing for marriage and the beauty of God’s design for marriage.

What does spiritual leadership mean to you? When preconceived notions are inaccurate.

In marriage, honor involves recognizing the worth of your relationship and putting that appreciation into action.

Commitment is a passionate decision to be with your spouse for a lifetime and to proactively build a future. A husband and wife must decide to love each other for a lifetime.

Every marriage has a mortal enemy, a mighty nemesis named selfishness. Dr. Greg Smalley offers insights on how to win the battle in your marriage without fighting each other.

Our guests offer parents practical advice on teaching children responsibility by giving them age-appropriate chores.

Dr. Smalley encourages couples to find a cause that they’re both passionate about, and then trust the Lord to use them and their marriage in the new year

Pride leads to conflict in marriage, so what are you doing to nurture humility in your own heart?

Dr. Greg and Erin Smalley answer listener questions on how to successfully navigate family relationships during the holidays, and help couples work as a team to balance chores, budgets and family demands.

Some marriage advice is helpful and given with the best of intentions. Unfortunately, other well-meaning counsel is misguided and useless. Here’s a summary of the worst marriage advice I’ve heard.

Of all the seasons of the year, Christmas is the best time to set our “Me-and-God” theology aside and discover afresh what it means to participate in the Global Brotherhood of the Redeemed.

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The word cherish implies a specific attitude and means that you recognize your mate’s incredible value. You have the opportunity every day to choose to see how incredibly valuable your spouse is.

The best way to understand how you can nourish your marriage is to ask your spouse to finish this statement: “I feel loved when …”   The answers are a gold mine of  information.

When we feel threatened, we build emotional walls that don’t allow our spouse into the deepest parts of our hearts and minds. The emotional distance can cause marital problems.

Infidelity is a pain that’s far too common to far too many. If you’re dealing with a cheating spouse or admitting that you are a cheating spouse, there’s still hope for restoration in your marriage.

Maybe you’re thinking, How did I get here? Or maybe you deliberately sought comfort outside your marriage. Here are tips to help you pursue healing in your marriage after being unfaithful to your spouse.

A husband should care for his wife with the same intensity he nourishes his own body. So husbands must spend time every day doing things that help a wife feel loved. 

It’s that time of year again — changing leaves and cooler temperatures. Football season is here. Does your spouse feel like a football widow?

Forgiveness is vital in marriage. The key is to seek an apology after we truly understand our spouse’s heart. Here’s a four-part process to a sincere apology.

True listening requires you to be fully present — clearly and intentionally focused on your spouse. Intent focus shows that your whole heart, soul, mind and body are present.

Focus on the Family’s marriage experts have found that genuinely thriving couples typically excel in twelve key areas of marital life.  One of those areas is mutual nourishing.

Empathy is more than feeling sorry that your spouse is burdened or troubled. Empathy takes place as you carry your spouse’s burdens.

Instead of judging or ignoring your spouse’s emotions, you have the opportunity to be curious about his or her feelings. Curiosity leads to understanding.

Validation is safely allowing your spouse to share his or her thoughts and feelings. The message is that it’s OK to think and feel the way he or she does.

Healthy conflict can facilitate communication, understanding, trust and respect if we choose to manage our differences and disagreements in nourishing ways.

The great commandment teaches that self-care is not selfish — it’s actually foundational to a healthy marriage.

Authors Greg and Erin Smalley offer couples practical tips on improving communication in their marriage.

In John 5, Jesus heals a crippled man and then tells him to pick up his mat and walk. Can our “mats” help us be grateful to and dependent on God—even in marriage?

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Working together as a couple to conquer back-to-school stress.

Have you heard about the other way of writing the word “intimacy”?—”INTO ME, SEE.” There’s a valuable piece of marital wisdom embedded in this clever play on words.

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When conflict arises in a thriving marriage, both partners win when they remember that, ultimately, they’re on the same team.

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How can a couple keep the fires of sexual passion alive in the middle of the humdrum, day-to-day routine of the average marriage? Believe it or not, this is a fairly common question. If it’s come up recently between you and your spouse, take heart. You’re not alone.

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Your spouse’s heart will open only when it feels safe. But what does feeling safe really mean?

How will I know that I’m ready to wed? Dr. Greg Smalley is often asked this question by engaged couples, so he offers his personal insights on how couples can better understand loving and being loved.

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What is a marriage? It’s a question well worth pondering.

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The parallel between romantic love and God’s relationship with His people is a theme that runs all the way through Scripture, and it has a great deal to teach us about the spiritual dimension of marriage.

Spiritual intimacy can be a confusing issue for many couples. Dr. Greg Smalley offers personal insights on how husbands can be spiritual leaders and wives can see beyond basic spiritual disciplines for intimacy at home.

If you’ve been unfaithful in your marriage and you’re wondering what to do now, Dr. Greg Smalley explains 10 reasons to have a talk with your spouse.

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The best research indicates that healthy marriages are always built around a solid core of open, honest, and empathetic person-to-person conversation.

Sex should always join two people together in love — it should always strengthen a relationship and not weaken it. Sure, sex involving bondage, dominance, sadism and masochism might be legal as long as both people give their full consent — but it is anything but beneficial for a marriage.

This Valentine’s Day, use flowers, chocolate and cards to heighten your romance, but spend your time being curious and asking questions.

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The way to stay excited about being together is to sprinkle in a judicious pinch of spice now and then.  It’s all about “getting outside the box” every once in a while.

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We live in a culture that has either forgotten or rejected the idea of marriage as a covenant.  Couples who want to go the distance in their relationship need to rediscover it.

What is the key to surviving the holiday family road trip with your spouse?

Ecclesiastes says that there is a time and a season for everything.  December is the season for singing.

If cherishing is to be pushed to an even higher level in a couple’s present experience of marriage, it will happen because they find ways not only to keep in touch with the past, but to project the past into the future.

In a marriage there is no such thing as a win/lose scenario when you are on the same team.

Spiritual friendship is eagerly helping each other know, serve, love, and resemble God in deeper and deeper ways.

Whether you realize it or not, you are living every day of your life in the presence of a precious hidden treasure.

When was the last time you and your spouse truly viewed yourselves as a team?

“To get the full value of joy you must have someone to divide it with.‚” Mark Twain

Is it possible to keep a healthy sense of mystery alive in a familiar, long-term relationship?

Counseling team Greg and Erin Smalley discuss the common traits that build strong families and encourage parents to establish and strengthen their family’s unique identity.

10 keys to help make your relationship with your spouse more loving.

Every couple knows that sexual intimacy, celebrated regularly and passionately, is vital to any healthy marriage. What many don’t understand is that sex is more than just sex.

NFL coach Mike Shanahan has said, “Individual commitment to a group effort—that’s what makes a team work, a company work, a society work, a civilization work.”

God, the grand Creator par excellence, is inviting the creatures who bear His image to join Him in the ongoing work of creation.  And He’s asking them to do this together.

Studies show that the average couple spends only four minutes per day engaged in meaningful conversation. Four minutes! Can couples really expect to foster intimacy with so little time devoted to positive communication?

Sometimes, the sweetest, most tender memories are those that happened during moments that were unplanned and that may seem unremarkable to the casual observer.

“When two people always agree, one of them is unnecessary.‚”

Looking for ideas to use when getting to know another couple? Take a look at these double date tips.

Marriage and family expert Greg Smalley encourages parents to expose their children to new challenges and interests while honing in on the abilities that best suit them.

Thriving couples need to be intentional about treasuring, honoring and cherishing one another. Do these things characterize your relationship with your spouse?

Did you know that making it a priority to regularly go on dates with your spouse can lead to increased satisfaction in your marriage?

The blessing is what we all long for – acceptance and affirmation.

Couples with thriving relationships make it their goal to function as a team, because the most important thing is how they work together, not what other people think.

Since our mate is always growing and changing, we need to maintain the mindset of a lifetime learner.

Healthy conflict can actually take your marriage to deeper levels of intimacy.

When you treat your spouse with compassion, it creates a safe environment to share your deepest thoughts and feelings.

Cultivating romance and fostering spiritual growth with your beloved takes discipline and intentionality

With the mindset of marriage being an adventure in which husbands and wives stick together through thick and thin, the words “until death do us part” take on a whole new meaning.

A marriage that can ascend to the heights of intimacy requires careful navigation and routine maintenance.

Rather than making it our goal to resolve arguments, we must learn how to manage our conflicts.

Relationships change over time. In the context of marriage, this means that there will always be something new for you to learn about your spouse

Thriving couples cultivate common hobbies and undertake shared adventures through regular Date Nights!

As the weather cools and the seasons change, we couldn’t pass up talking about a critical component of your thriving marriage — mutually satisfying physical intimacy.

Marriage encompasses the spiritual and physical act of two lives becoming one. But can that union truly thrive if one or both of the individuals involved is feeling unfulfilled?

Conflict doesn’t guarantee intimacy, but it is an open door to discover our spouse’s most important feelings and needs.

Healthy conflict can actually be a pathway to deeper intimacy in your marriage.

Developing common interests and hobbies can decrease conflict in marriage and strengthen the idea that you and your spouse are a team.

This month’s Date Night will give you the opportunity to take a break from the holiday grind—the stress, the worries, the overcrowded schedules, the race to find the perfect gift, and other stressors—and invest as a couple in the well-being of someone else.

It’s important that you take time alone with your spouse to tell him or her directly why you’re thankful. This should involve not only thanking God, but also thanking your partner—directly and specifically—for the things he or she does that bless and enrich your life. Not only at Thanksgiving but throughout the year, we should make a concerted effort to express gratitude for our spouse and to our spouse!

Honor isn’t based on behavior or subject to emotion. You grant your spouse value whether they want it or deserve it. Honor is a decision you make and a gift you give. This is exactly what the apostle Paul encouraged the early Christians to do when he wrote, “Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor” (Romans 12:10).

If we avoid conflict or pretend it doesn’t exist, the greater the problem will become.

Deliberately call to mind the highlights of your life together.

Whether we’re talking about Date Night, or any other time that you and your spouse have time together in the car . . . it’s not just about the destination, it’s about the journey!

This date’s focus on community affords you the perfect opportunity to phone up another couple — or couples — and enjoy a group date.

A working definition of nourishing is demonstrating your love. It involves a conscious resolution to identify your spouse’s strengths and find creative ways to stimulate them.

Avoid power struggles by getting on the same team as your teen.