No Losers – Date Guide

By Greg Smalley
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Print this out and take it on your date!

(Print this out and take it on your date!)

No Losers.

Step 1: Go someplace different for dinner.

Step 2: Seven Steps to Win-Win.

Come to dinner with written lists of things that each of you would like to do for the remainder of the evening.  Use the Seven Steps to Win-Win to decide on an option that both of you love:

  • Establish a no-losers policy. Decide up front that neither one of you will settle for an option that the other one doesn’t love.
  • Heart-talk the question. Listen carefully to one another and try to understand each other’s feelings.
  • Pray about it together.
  • Use “blue-sky thinking” – nothing’s off-limits – to brainstorm your options. Feel free to add new possibilities to the list.
  • Select a win-win solution.
  • Go for it!

Step 3: Relax and unwind. Ready to answer a few questions?

  • Evaluate your win-win solution. Were you both happy with your choice?
  • What was your favorite part of the evening?
  • What is the one thing you learned tonight that you didn’t know about me before?
  • How can we work together in the weeks and months ahead to turn conflicts, arguments, or difficult decisions into a source of new strength and understanding in our marriage?

Step 4: Home sweet home. Let’s plan our next date!

  • Think about additional ways you can maximize the benefits of win-win conflict resolution in the days to come.

© 2015 Focus on the Family.

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