(Print this out and take it on your date!)
No Losers.
Step 1: Go someplace different for dinner.
Step 2: Seven Steps to Win-Win.
Come to dinner with written lists of things that each of you would like to do for the remainder of the evening. Use the Seven Steps to Win-Win to decide on an option that both of you love:
- Establish a no-losers policy. Decide up front that neither one of you will settle for an option that the other one doesn’t love.
- Heart-talk the question. Listen carefully to one another and try to understand each other’s feelings.
- Pray about it together.
- Use “blue-sky thinking” – nothing’s off-limits – to brainstorm your options. Feel free to add new possibilities to the list.
- Select a win-win solution.
- Go for it!
Step 3: Relax and unwind. Ready to answer a few questions?
- Evaluate your win-win solution. Were you both happy with your choice?
- What was your favorite part of the evening?
- What is the one thing you learned tonight that you didn’t know about me before?
- How can we work together in the weeks and months ahead to turn conflicts, arguments, or difficult decisions into a source of new strength and understanding in our marriage?
Step 4: Home sweet home. Let’s plan our next date!
- Think about additional ways you can maximize the benefits of win-win conflict resolution in the days to come.
