12 Questions Every Father Should Ask His Future Son-In-Law

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What questions should you ask a young man who wants to marry your daughter? Answers to these 12 big, important, overarching questions might hold the key to your daughter's future happiness.

Your daughter’s boyfriend has asked you for her hand in marriage. What questions should you ask him before giving your blessing? Listen as Dr. Greg Smalley discusses this topic: Asking the Right Questions of Your Child’s Future Spouse.

Murphy isn’t just my daughter: She’s my princess.

I knew it the day she was born. I took her in my arms and rocked her. I looked into her eyes. And in that nanosecond, I knew I’d do anything and everything I could to protect her. Always.

I was the first man in Murphy’s life, and over the years we’ve experienced plenty of “firsts.” Her first birthday party. Her first bloody knee. Her first day of school. Her first broken heart. I’ve watched my little princess grow into a beautiful, godly young woman.

And then, before I knew it, I was faced with another first: a young man asking me if he can make my princess his queen.

Jordan asked for my permission before he even proposed — a wonderful gesture. But when he posed the question, I was filled with a jumble of emotions: happiness, gratitude and, yes, a little sadness. I also remembered that very first moment with Murphy — when I knew I’d do anything to protect her. And that included asking Jordan some very tough questions.

But what do I ask? It’s not like fathers or mothers are handed a set of questions in the maternity ward to ask a future son-in-law. We’re not given a standardized pamphlet. In Ephesians 5:32, the Apostle Paul calls this union between husband and wife “a profound mystery.”

And of course, it is. The bonding of two souls together will always be mysterious. But the questions you ask beforehand don’t need to be. Whether you’re the parent, grandparent, sibling, extended family member, mentor or close friend of this potential bride-to-be, I want to help take the “mystery” out of what to ask the man asking for her hand.

Before you open this critical conversation with this young man, you should — if possible —talk with three people.

The bride-to-be

Make sure she has peace about the young man. Does she want to marry him? Does she have any concerns? Does she feel tense, confused, uneasy or pressured to get engaged? You want to know that she’s paying attention to her gut and feels that getting married is the right decision.

If she feels she’s ready, ask her to put those emotions on paper and write what I call a “blessing letter” to her boyfriend.

Murphy’s letter to Jordan unpacked her own journey, from being a prayerful little girl to a purposeful young woman — one who spent years wondering what her future husband would be like. “You’re the one. You are the man that I’ve prayed for relentlessly throughout my life,” Murphy wrote.

 She continued:

You are everything that I have ever wanted and so much more than I ever thought I could find. Falling in love with you has been the greatest adventure of my life and getting to be your wife will be my greatest honor. I want to spend the rest of my life laughing, crying, and growing old right next to you. I choose you. Forever.

Your daughter’s mother

Many women seem to have an incredible intuition for people. They can often sense underlying issues — especially when it comes to someone’s character and maturity. It’s uncanny how they can discern deception and manipulation in ways that men often fail to notice. What does she think about this young man? Does she support this engagement? Does she have any concerns? Accept her influence, and if she raises some issues, discuss them with the man when you talk with him.

And if she doesn’t have serious concerns, ask her to write a letter of blessing, too. My wife, Erin, wrote one to Jordan, offering her unconditional support:

I wanted you to know that I 100% give you my blessing in asking for Murphy’s hand in marriage. I see what a good fit you are for our daughter and that not only are you good for her — but she is also good for you. I love how you care for one another and how you love one another. I love your sense of humor and that you fit right into our family. I especially love that you have loved not only our daughter, but also our entire family.

His parents

Even if your family is on board, is his? You want to make sure they are. What do they think of your daughter? Do they support this engagement? Do they have any concerns? If they do, pay attention and discuss these issues with your daughter’s potential fiance.

If his parents are not in the picture, ask him for the name of his pastor, mentor or a close friend — someone he trusts and confides in, and someone who knows him well.

If daughter, mom and his parents all offer their blessings, you’re ready to talk with the young man.

The questions

When Jordan asked for my blessing, I wanted to anchor our talk in something memorable. This conversation was too important to have over the phone.

Jordan and I hiked up to an alpine lake in the mountains of Colorado. It was a perfect place to fish and talk. Plus, I figured if I didn’t like what he had to say, I could always just, literally, tell him to jump in a lake. (Just kidding.)

But I wasn’t going to leave this important conversation to chance. I had 12 questions I wanted to ask. And I brought a printout of them for quick reference.


If you want a list of questions for reference while you’re having the conversation, you can download a printable version of just the questions.

You can also jump to a list of just the questions at the bottom of this article.


Here’s what I asked:

1. Are you united spiritually?

God isn’t a matchmaker. He doesn’t oversee the e-Heavenly dating service. There is no such thing as a soul mate or “The One” — the ideal person God picked just for you. Although 1 Corinthians 7:39 is talking about second marriages after a woman is widowed, it suggests we have free will when selecting a mate. But the NIV translation of that verse also goes on to say, “He must belong to the Lord.” In 2 Corinthians 6:14, Paul stresses again that marriage partners must be “equally yoked.” In other words, God expects Christians to marry other Christians.

This is the reason you want to understand this young man’s relationship with the Lord, so ask some follow-up questions:

  • Has he accepted Christ as his Savior?
  • Is he pursing a daily relationship with Christ?
  • Is he a Christian but fallen away from his faith?

Don’t be afraid to ask deep, even nosy, questions: He wants to marry your daughter, after all. You have a right to be nosy. “Have you had times where you felt distant from God?” you might ask. “How did you handle that season?” Or “What has God been teaching you lately?” “What church will you attend after you’re married?”

Don’t panic if the answer isn’t just what you’d like to hear. Sometimes, our walks of faith can be pretty bumpy. When I asked Jordan this question, I really appreciated that he talked about God being his top priority and walked me through his testimony. I’m so grateful that he has a passion to love and serve the Lord.

If this man isn’t a Christian, tell him that you have serious concerns about him and your daughter being unequally yoked. If it’s a big deal to God, it should be a big deal to you.

2. Are you ready to make a lifelong commitment?

Again, God isn’t a matchmaker, and you should emphasize that to your daughter’s potential fiance. He is freely choosing your daughter, and because it’s his decision, your prospective son-in-law needs to be prepared to do whatever it takes to make it work. You want to be sure that he believes that marriage is for a lifetime — that the word divorce isn’t in his vocabulary. You want to be certain that he understands he is making a covenant before God.

Ask questions like:

  • “What will this relationship look like when things get hard?” (Because most relationships go through hard times.)
  • “Are you willing to get help from a mentor, pastor or counselor when your marriage becomes difficult?”
  • “Are my grandkids going to be raised in an intact family?”

The man needs to be willing to fight for this marriage — that for him, it means “till death do us part.”

3. What do you see in my daughter that makes you want to marry her?

You want to know that he is drawn to your daughter’s inner character traits (such as integrity, generosity, kindness, loyalty and spirituality) over shallow or superficial things like her looks, her taste in fashion or a shared love of a particular sports team. You want to know that he values your daughter’s gifts, talents, passions, dreams and aspirations.

Make sure he knows that your daughter — as wonderful as she is — isn’t perfect, and he should know that from the start. You want to make sure that he values their differences and sees how their individual strengths and weaknesses complement each other.

4. Do you agree on core values and big dreams?

What are the man’s most important values? Does he value honesty? Commitment? Generosity? Sacrifice? Personal growth? Do he and your daughter agree on the “big stuff,” such as children, career goals and the like? Do they generally want the same things out of life? Ask if they’ve talked about each other’s passions, hopes and dreams for what the future might look like. Make sure they’re both heading in the same direction.

5. How do you plan to support my daughter?

Biblically, it’s critical that a man be able to support and provide for his family (1 Timothy 5:8). And as your daughter’s first protector, you owe it to both of them to get a sense of the fledgling couple’s financial landscape.

  • What is the man’s job situation? What are his career goals?
  • Is he bringing debt into the relationship? If so, what are his plans for getting out of it?
  • Is he financially independent now, or does he have plans to be so? What are they?

I think that newlyweds should be financially independent from their parents. An important part of marriage is God’s command to “leave your mother and father” (Genesis 2:24). A newly married couple cannot “leave” Mom and Dad if the couple still depends on them for housing or financial support. If the husband and wife can’t financially support themselves or live at their own place, I would question their readiness for marriage.

6. Would you marry … you?

This question surprised Jordan. Like studying for the SAT or ACT, Jordan had tried to prepare for our meeting. He read some of my online articles and perused a book that Erin and I had written for engaged couples called Ready To Wed. But he hadn’t anticipated this question. (I loved his surprised look!)

This question gets at maturity level. A healthy marriage requires two healthy individuals. Obviously, you’re not looking for perfection. He might be pretty young and still has to mature. Instead of perfection, you want to see if he’s aware of his weaknesses and areas of potential growth areas. You want to better understand how he has dealt with his personal “junk.” (We all have junk.)

  • Is he growing and moving forward in dealing with his weaknesses?
  • What are his experiences with pornography, alcohol, abuse or any other ticklish issues that many of us grapple with?
  • Is he still emotionally entangled with a past romance?
  • Does he have children from a previous relationship?

Help him understand that the question of whether he’d marry himself isn’t “pass” or “fail.” You aren’t asking for him to defend or rationalize his past mistakes. You aren’t going to judge him or repeat what he shares. He needs to feel safe to open up and deal with this question honestly and directly. To help facilitate that safe space, I’d encourage you to first share some of your struggles that you dealt with at his age.

Always be respectful. And then, when that safe space is created, start asking him those difficult questions:

  • “What area of your life needs the most improvement?”
  • “What are some of your weaknesses or growth areas?”
  • “What are some ways that you frustrate my daughter?”
  • “What do you guys fight about?”

And then, as you hear him out, gauge his willingness to grow from his mistakes. Has he gone to counseling? Is he willing to get help with his personal baggage?

7. What do you like about your relationship with my daughter?

Obviously, you’d like to assume that your daughter and the man who wants to marry her “like” each other and that they like spending time together. But why? Ask him if your daughter is one of his best friends. Just as important, ask him if they allow each other space, too — to be sincerely transparent with each other and reveal who they are inside.

8. Do you have meaningful communication?

Communication is the lifeblood of a marriage. How well do they communicate? Ask him what they talk about. Are their conversations mostly about “to-do” lists and schedules? Or do they talk about deeper emotional issues?

This is one of Jordan’s strengths. When I first met him, he asked me and Erin such meaningful questions. He is a great conversationalist and is genuinely interested in getting to know people at a deep level. I love that for my daughter — he emotionally pursues her through curiosity and asking questions.

Focus on whether he’s committed to being open and known. Are there off-limits topics that they can’t talk about? If they can’t talk about certain things — past relationships, personal struggles, finances — that might be a red flag.

9. How do you manage conflict?

The Apostle Paul tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:28 “[T]hose who marry will have worldly troubles.” Does your daughter’s potential fiance understand this?

More importantly, how do he and your daughter manage conflict? Is he respectful and loving when they disagree? Does he value her point of view and emotions? Are they able to repair their relationship after a fight? Do they find solutions that feel good to both of them — as teammates?

There is no such thing as a win-lose situation in marriage. A couple will either win together or lose together. Your goal is to better understand how they function as a team and to encourage your future son-in-law to always treat your daughter as an equal partner.

10. Do you and my daughter agree on biblical roles and responsibilities?

When I talked Jordan through this question, I pointed to Ephesians 4:22-33, and the 214 words Paul uses in it. Of those words, Paul spends 162 of them (76%) on a husband’s responsibilities to his wife. A husband needs to love his wife like Christ loves the church, Paul writes. And that means that a husband’s role is all about sacrificial leadership. But what does that mean?

As the husband, what does it mean to be the “leader” of the family? Do they both agree on the wife’s role within your marriage? What does biblical submission mean to them? In Ephesians 5:22-33, Paul instructs a wife to voluntarily follow her husband’s lead in response to her commitment to the Lord. She is accepting her husband’s role as the leader of their family; it isn’t mindless obedience.

It all gets back to the concept of being a relational team. The husband may lead, but that never means that he unilaterally makes decisions for his family. This would be a gross misuse of biblical leadership. Yes, husbands and wives have different roles and different gifts. But remember, they were created as “equals”— both made in the image of God and are joint heirs in the gracious gift of life (1 Peter 3:7).

11. Have you had a range of experiences together?

Experience is an important key to navigating anything life throws at you, and that’s especially true if you’re part of a team. To truly see how a couple works together, they need to see each other handle a variety of experiences and challenges, which allows the couple to see each other as real individuals and to learn how they cope with stress and crises.

Has your potential son-in-law seen your daughter when she’s stressed? Has she seen him when he’s grieving or frustrated? Ask if they’ve had a wide range of relationship experiences — if they’ve seen each other around family and friends, during day-to-day errands or big nights out, at weddings and funerals, and just sitting at a dinner table. Are they compatible in all those various situations?

Jordan had a great story when I asked him this question.

He and Murphy love to hike, but serious hiking in Colorado requires dedication. When they were set to hike up 14,275-foot Mt. Antero — a 16-mile hike with a 5,000-foot elevation gain — they woke up at 3 a.m. (Hikers try to polish off their hikes on these high mountains early, before the afternoon thunderstorms roll in.)

But just as they began to climb, a screw fell out of Jordan’s glasses. They searched for it for a while, but finding a tiny screw on a mountain trail is way more difficult than finding a needle in a haystack. So, after looking for a while, they decided to go on — Jordan pocketing his glasses and hiking with blurred vision.

At one point, they were crossing a rushing river, where Murphy placed her trust on the wrong rock and stumbled right into the frigid water. Thankfully, the water wasn’t deep, but that didn’t make it any more comfortable: She sloshed to the other side and sat down to empty the water out of her boot.

Jordan, being the gentleman he is, offered to wring out her stinky sock. (That’s when Murphy says she knew he loved her.) And the rest of the hike up the mountain went off without a hitch. Jordan couldn’t see that well and Murphy’s shoes still squished, but they made it to the top — talking and laughing along the way.

But the mountain wasn’t done with them yet.

At the top, while reaching into her pack for her “summit sandwich,” Murphy somehow deployed a can of bear spray all over her body. Now, any spray designed to repel bears isn’t that fun for humans, either, and it turns out the aerosolized cayenne pepper really burns. Murphy started tearing up.

Then the swelling, the stinging and the temporary blindness set in. And as my daughter was in a lot of discomfort, Jordan swallowed hard and admitted that the accident was kinda, sorta, maybe his fault. He had misplaced the bear spray’s safety cap. Turns out, they call it a “safety cap” for a reason.

After a few minutes of crippling fear that she was permanently injured, and a few choice words hurled at Jordan, Murphy determined that she would regain her sight and they laughed off the close call. (Here’s a bonus relational tip: Never douse your fiancee with bear spray!)

12. Are there any relational red flags?

Ask to hear their “love story” from his perspective. How did they meet and fall in love? This isn’t just an opportunity for him to walk down memory lane. You’re looking for negative themes that might crop up. For instance:

  • Have they broken up and gotten together multiple times?
  • Has there been any abuse or violence?
  • Do they live together?
  • Are they simply “sliding” into marriage (because they feel like they should)?
  • Is he trying to get away from his parents?
  • Are they hiding a pregnancy?
  • Does he think that marriage will fix the problems they’re already experiencing?

The list goes on. A proposal could hide any number of important issues. And while a red flag doesn’t necessarily mean a marriage is doomed before it even begins, it does mean that all parties should be extra cautious going forward. Encourage him to initiate individual and couples counseling before you give him your blessing.

Your blessing

I asked Jordan all my questions. He answered them all honestly and respectfully. I didn’t tell him to jump in the lake. In fact, I was ready to give him my blessing then and there.

After we returned to my car, I drove us to a nearby restaurant to celebrate. I had made a reservation at a local steakhouse near where we had gone hiking. I hadn’t noticed the name of the restaurant at the time; I was just looking for the closest steakhouse. But when we walked in, I noticed the restaurant’s name: Mary Murphy Steakhouse.

It was amazing. We had gone to Mary Murphy Steakhouse to celebrate my blessing for him to … marry Murphy.

It felt like a sign from the Lord.

At the end of the day, your daughter — not you — chooses her husband.

I’ve always told my daughters that I will walk them down the aisle and give them away to whomever they choose. They know that I’ll be honest about my concerns, and I hope that they would accept my influence. But God has given them free will, and I will honor that.

But that doesn’t mean I’ll bless the union. And if I couldn’t have given Jordan my blessing, I’d be honest with him. I’d tell him why, unpacking the details. I would encourage him to get help to deal with my concerns, and that I’d re-evaluate my position if and when he took those necessary steps. I would hope that he’d believe that my daughter was worth fighting for, and to do whatever he could to win not just her love, but mine as well. I would even offer to help mentor him if my daughter was open to that relationship.

But Jordan did earn my blessing. And while I had a good feeling about my future son-in-law long before I asked him those 12 questions, they not only confirmed what I saw in their (his and Murphy’s) relationship, but they bolstered ours (his and mine), as well.

Remember, you’re not looking for perfection in the answers to these 12 questions. But you should see a young man headed in the right direction. And asking these questions can have a positive impact on your relationship with your future son-in-law. We can talk about anything, they tell him. This leads to open communication and discipleship.

I love how Jordan feels comfortable to call me and that we can share a meal or hang out together — just the two of us. I believe that our hike and meal together paved the way for that relationship.

Once your daughter, her mother and his parents have given their blessing, and you’ve worked through these 12 questions, if you have peace about giving your blessing, then I encourage you to verbalize your affirmation or write your future son-in-law a letter. Here’s part of what I wrote to Jordan:

I’ve been praying for Murphy’s future husband for 24 years. Today, I truly believe that man is you.

In you, I see a man that has a deep passion for God and that has wholeheartedly committed his life to the Lord. I am confident that you will love Christ more than you will ever love Murphy.

In you, I see a man that recognizes my daughter’s inestimable value. You see in Murphy what I’ve treasured since the day she was placed into my arms.

In you, I see a man that will accept my daughter unconditionally and will love her for a lifetime.

In you, I see a man that is teachable and committed to growing both personally and relationally. It takes a humble heart to admit that you don’t have all the answers. Enjoy the journey as you learn more about you and Murphy throughout your life together.

I’ve been thinking about you for 24 years. And I can truly say that you are everything that I want for my daughter. Thank you for preparing yourself for the role of a lifetime — Murphy’s husband.

Today, I give you my blessing to ask Murphy for her hand in marriage. I welcome you into our family as my son.

I still mean those words today. Their relationship is strong. My relationship with both of them is strong, too. And, whenever they celebrate an anniversary, Erin and I will take them to Mary Murphy Steakhouse.

Encourage your future son-in-law to get premarital education. Focus on the Family has a program called Ready to Wed. We developed this for engaged couples to go through with a mentor couple. You can find more information at www.ReadyToWed.com.

12 Questions Every Father Should Ask His Future Son-in-Law

  1. Are you united spiritually?
  2. Are you ready to make a lifelong commitment?
  3. What do you see in my daughter that makes you want to marry her?
  4. Do you agree on core values and big dreams?
  5. How do you plan to support my daughter?
  6. Would you marry … you?
  7. What do you like about your relationship with my daughter?
  8. Do you have meaningful communication?
  9. How do you manage conflict?
  10. Do you and my daughter agree on biblical roles and responsibilities?
  11. Have you had a range of experiences together?
  12. Are there any relational red flags?

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Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!