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A Marriage Health Checkup Plan

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a couple checking their marriage health
Luke Flowers
To determine marriage health, couples need to monitor their relational fitness to catch problems they might miss. Here are some questions to help you.

 

We’ve all seen athletes check their pulses. Joggers sometimes wear heart-rate monitors around their chests. Cyclers might put two fingers to their necks. If you’re like me, you might not see the need for all this pulse checking. I figure if my heart’s still beating at all after a little exercise, I’m doing pretty good!

But these athletes are onto something important. Monitoring their pulse not only helps them increase their fitness level, but it can also identify serious problems.

Every couple needs to do regular “pulse checks” to check their marriage health, as well. Couples need to monitor their relational fitness to catch problems they might otherwise miss.

That’s especially true with the hectic lives we lead. Sometimes, our hectic lives are the cause of our problems. We forget to be intentional in our relationships.

Author Nell Frizzell explains the devastating impact small things can have on relationships. Frizzell points out that couples don’t usually break up over the big stuff, but it’s “the small, daily incivilities — the apologies unspoken, the kisses that go unkissed, the meals that pass in silence, the money that is wasted — [that] lay the groundwork for the big things to erupt.”

Clearly, a relational pulse check is critical for good marriage health. But instead of using a heart-rate monitor, you can check your marriage by asking your spouse some simple questions. For instance: What’s working well in our marriage?

What’s one thing I did this last week that made you feel loved?

What should I be doing? On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate our marriage over the past week? Why?

These are my favorite questions, but feel free to come up with your own. Just set aside 20 minutes every week to ask them and listen to the answers.

How you react to the answers your spouse gives is as important as the questions themselves. Listen carefully to what he or she has to say. Don’t try to defend yourself. And if your spouse is critical, take time with the Lord to ask for guidance on how to love your spouse better.

 

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Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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