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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Discovering Your Love Style (Part 1 of 2)

Discovering Your Love Style (Part 1 of 2)

Counselors Milan and Kay Yerkovich offer helpful insights on learning how you show love to others, particularly your spouse, and explain what steps you can take toward loving like God does and breaking negative patterns to create a deeper, richer marriage. (Part 1 of 2)
Original Air Date: July 7, 2016

Preview:

Kay Yerkovich: Until we understood the root was attachment and we started working at the root. Uh, and I took ownership of that avoider part of me. And he took ownership of the pleaser. And we begin to individually work on our sanctification in that way.

Milan Yerkovich: But iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. So we talked to each other about our fears, how we scared each other.

End of Preview

John Fuller: Milan and Kay Yerkovich describing how you can discover your love style. And they’re with us today on Focus on the Family. Your host is Focus President and author Jim Daly, and I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Okay, the first thing- it makes you chuckle to think about what’s your love style? (laughing) Remember, for those of us old enough, you think of the Love Boat or something like that. (laughter) But your love style is really important. And, you know, just like so many personality traits that we possess, each of us have a love style. Uh, we talked to Gary Chapman about, uh, your love language. And today we wanna talk about those things that are both positive and not so positive that tear your relationship apart.

John: And this is a really encouraging discussion I think we have ahead of us. Uh, so if you’re in what’s feeling like kind of a ho hum marriage, I think you’ll get some good tools to really take it, uh, a little deeper and, and to have greater intimacy. Uh, the Yerkovich’s have written extensively about this concept of love style. And, uh, the book that we’ll be, uh, talking about today most specifically is How We Love: Discover Your Love Style and Enhance Your Marriage.

Jim: Milan and Kay, welcome back to Focus on the Family.

Kay: Oh, thank you so much.

Milan: Thank you. We’re glad to be here.

Jim: Hey, let’s start right there. You know, at first, uh, I wanted to ask that question for that, uh, fairly newly married couple. But I think it applies to all of us. I mean, Jean and I have been married almost 30 years. And this kind of information is still very relevant and helpful to us. And I’m assuming even a couple married 50 years will benefit. But when you’re looking at, uh, the years that have gone by, it would’ve been so great to have this kind of discussion or to know about this information 20 years ago. You know, the first three, four-

Kay: Oh yes.

Jim: … 10 years of our marriage. So let’s talk about those styles that you’ve discovered in how we love, uh, talk about the five that you, um, express to couples to help them communicate better.

Milan: First, the secure attachment style is a person that has a decent sense of self, that they’re worthy of someone doing something for them and they can go and ask for help. They tend to see relationships as a place that they want to get relief. There are so many people in this world that don’t go to relationship for relief. They go to substances, addictions, to make those uncomfortable feelings go away. And if we look at the person of Christ, he could give to people, he could receive. He could say what he needed. He could ask for help. He was the secure attachment. And he’s our model as to what secure attachment looks like. And I think we, uh, don’t really appreciate that only a few of us would have an experience at our homes that would cause us to look like that as, as adolescents and adults. To have that-

Jim: Well, in fact, in-

Milan: … freedom.

Jim: … in your book you talk about how our childhood really does form these attitudes-

Milan: Yes.

Jim: … and, and behaviors in us. And, and we see that. I mean, that’s one of the things, uh, that we see here at Focus on the Family so often. How do we, uh, begin to arrest and understand that?

Milan: Well, I think the first thing we have to learn is that early experience, Kay, is what really sets us up for our future expectations. And we either had that secure attachment or we had one that wasn’t quite as secure.

Kay: I don’t think people really understand how important those formative years really are. Uh, we take everything in in those first two years of our life in a non-verbal way.

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Kay: We don’t have words yet. So we’re taking in facial expressions and voice tones. And they’re building implicit memories which are something that we remember in a feeling state in our body. They’re sort of wordless memories. We actually remember them for our entire lives. Uh, but they- they’re remembered in a, a state of feelings in response to other people. And so in the first two years of life, those are the implicit memories that they- they’re with us for the rest of our lives. And I was talking to a young man, uh, this week and he just had a new baby. And he couldn’t tolerate her crying. I mean, he literally went through the roof. And we, we begin to talk. And he says, I don’t understand my response. Well, as we begin to look at his own history, when he was two, he had a baby brother born that never stopped crying for two years. He was so difficult. And I said, “Can you imagine the feeling that you’re having in your body is almost like something you would feel as a two-year-old when you just wanted to hold your ears and scream?” And he started weeping.

Milan: Hm.

Kay: And he said, “I never thought of that.” But he said, “My mom told me that I used to go hide in the closet.” So these are the power of these early memories. And we, we don’t always know how they impact us later in life. So the secure connector is where we’re gonna head, but these broken love styles, um, come out of things that we often don’t even remember. And so they’re so normal to us that we don’t even know we’re doing it.

Jim: Um, Kay, uh, let me press you a little bit.

Kay: Sure.

Jim: Um, because folks that are listening are thinking, eh, psychology and scripture-

Kay: Right.

Jim: … and, you know, does that really count? I mean, I’m a two-year-old at that point. The Lord can work all that out. Talk about that blend from the outset here. Because so often, uh, you know, we in the Christian community can be critical of science-

Kay: Absolutely.

Jim: … but really, uh, what the Christian belief system does is prove what scientists are discovering. I mean, w- we-

Kay: Yes.

Jim: … uh, have an understanding as Christians about what scientists are looking at because we believe in the creator, we believe there’s order in the universe and those kinds of things. But talk about that junction for the skeptic right now that’s hearing us going this is psychobabble.

Milan: Well, we, we may not like science until we need a heart bypass and then we’ll-

Jim: Right.

Milan: … you know? And then we go, uh, sign me up. Because it h- it really hurts right now. But really all this is is observing how the mind should be developed. We don’t think of parents as, uh, brain shapers but they’re truly shaping the brain of the child. And the early experiences, God invented this. This is about God’s invention of attachment. The human being has the longest attachment period of all the mammals on the planet. And God created this extensive period of time where a child would be looked at with this l- lit up mom and the child would respond back. And so there’s a strong sense of togetherness that is built very early on, not just in our left brain, which is our cognitive reasoning, but in the right brain of feeling states. It feels comfortable to be next to you. Or it feels uncomfortable to be next to you.

Jim: Yeah.

Milan: So really all science has done is they’ve observed God’s creation of attachment.

Jim: Right.

Milan: And they have made studies to say what has gone really well? And when it doesn’t go so well, what are the ramifications in a person’s mind? And then that leads us to many things, of course, in the whole department of sin and brokenness. But one of the things it leads us to are these broken or wounded attachment styles.

Jim: Now we’ve talked about that, that secure attachment. Let’s talk about the others that are coming out of the pain. In fact, vacillator is another one. Talk about vacillator.

Milan: Sure.

Milan: Well a vacillator is a person who came from a home where perhaps they had intermittent connection with their parents. Intermittent connection meaning I see you. I give you attention. And then all of a sudden, I’ve pulled away from you and I’ve gone dark. I’ve gone dark because I’m inattentive, I’m preoccupied myself as a parent. Uh, I am busy. Uh, I am- have my own issues of- where I cannot see you because I’m preoccupied with something else. So the child never knows. Or I have an addiction or I’m fighting with the spouse. And so I, I then- the child feels alone. Then the parent re-engages with them at a time unpredictable to the child. And the child feels this ambivalence from the parent. And the ambivalence of I don’t know when I’m gonna be connected with. But they tend to value connection at a very high value. And that becomes their primary desire, is to have intense connection that never goes away. So when they grow up and enter into relationship, they enter into relationship with a very high expectation and hope of a connection that will never feel as though it’s going away, or will stop, or will cease or will be intermittent. And so they have an intense desire for perpetual connection. When their spouse averts their gaze, turns their back, is busy, they get very agitated on the inside. Then they get angry at the spouse for somehow abandoning them. Now they don’t use the word abandon. They just say, “I don’t like how I’m feeling right now, and you made me feel that way.” And so they get angry. They’re the protesters that say, “Why did you do that? Why did you make me feel this way?” So they are the love/hate, hot/cold, in/out, on/off spouses. Bright, dark. Uh, in a moment’s cha- kind of like the weather here in Colorado Springs. (laughter) You know, maybe, maybe on a- on a sunny day in the summer where it’s a beautiful day, then all of a sudden, the clouds come over and it’s dark.

Jim: Huh.

Milan: And this would be the vacillator imprint. It’s also in the literature called the ambivalent or preoccupied. Because I’m in and out, on and off, and I am preoccupied. Because I’m always thinking about, “What’s Jim thinking of me right now? Does he appreciate me? Does he value me? Does he wanna be with me? Does he not wanna be with me? He gave John a bigger hug-

John: These are my thoughts all the time.

Milan: Yeah, he gave John a bigger hug than he gave me. So maybe he likes John better. And so this preoccupation-

Jim: Huh.

Milan: … of relation, and they’re hyper vigilant, always watching.

Jim: Okay. So that’s the vacillator. Kay, y- you write in the book your own personal story of being the avoider.

Kay: Yes.

Jim: So as an expert in that category-

Kay: I’m an expert in the avoider.

Jim: What is avoider?

Kay: Well, I lived for 15 years with this love style, not really realizing that, um, my family didn’t really bond on any emotional level when I was growing up. My parents loved me. Um, we had nice dinners at my house. But we never had any personal conversations. And if I had a feeling- if I was sad, my dad said, “You better stop crying or I’m gonna give you something to cry about.”

Jim: Famous line (laughing).

Kay: Famous line. Or “Go to your room until you have your happy face.” And my mom just got highly anxious. So there was this underlying message of feelings are something we don’t do. Feelings are something that we dismiss. Feelings are something we don’t move into. We are always trying to fix them and move away from them. And so I got very good at, first of all, just not showing my feelings. And over time, not even really knowing what they were. So if you ask an avoider how they are, they really only have one answer. Fine.

Jim: Yeah.

Kay: Uh, and I can’t say that wasn’t true. I sort of existed in this, like, very midline kind of a, a level where I was never very happy, and I was never very sad-

Jim: So steady?

Kay: Steady. And a lot of people marry avoiders ’cause we’re very predictable and we’re very steady. And what people don’t realize until usually they marry us, is that we don’t really have any range of emotion. We really can’t connect on any emotional level. I don’t have memories of comfort from my childhood where a parent really noticed I was not doing well. And, and sought out to kind of understand what’s deep in my heart. And so I couldn’t describe what was deep in my heart. I had no words, uh, for internal experiences. And it was just a place that I never developed. And I, I didn’t realize until the 15-year mark that when you wanted closeness, Milan, I really didn’t know what you were talking about. Uh-

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Kay: … this was just a foreign concept to me. And a lot of people think their avoider spouses are holding out on them. And y- you know what I want. You just won’t give it to me. And honestly, avoiders don’t even know what they feel. They don’t know how to comfort you. Uh, they don’t know how to have empathy. Um, I mean, what was it like being married to me?

Jim: (laughter) I’m glad you asked that question-

Kay: Yeah. I was gonna say, I won’t- I- I’ll be brave and ask that.

Jim: Yeah (laughing)-

Milan: Well, it was hard to feel like I could capture you or that I could pull you into a place that I could feel as though there was something substantive and meaningful. I appreciate the point Kay made because a lot of times we- a person who’s married to an avoider would believe that they are just holding out. But truly, Kay did not have the words to be able to describe how she felt. She’s no longer an avoider, by the way. And I, I’m happy to announce that.

Kay: (laughs) Yeah. Worked hard my- to get-

Milan: Uh, she’s- she’s a recovered avoider-

Kay: … toward a secure connector.

Milan: She’s now that secure attachment.

Kay: That was my sanctification-

Jim: And that’s the goal for everybody.

Milan: That’s the goal for everybody, is to not stay in these wounded states. It’s to move out of that. And I would have to say that it- your, your distance from me was something that maybe we can talk about a little bit later, but it was the very thing that triggered my childhood, her distancing. So, uh, that was a part of the chase-

Jim: I mean, that was your wound-

Milan: Yeah, that was my wound-

Jim: … when someone was distanced-

Milan: Yeah, yeah.

Jim: Let me ask you about that because, um, it’s intriguing to me and in part I’m always asking are these mechanisms that God provides us for a period of time to cope with our environment?

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And I, I don’t know. ‘Cause we talk about them in positive and negative context. But for me, I, I would probably lean like you, Kay, toward the avoider ’cause of my childhood.

Kay: Right.

Jim: I mean, it’s total chaos-

Kay: I read your book. It’s, it was very hard.

Jim: A- yeah. Would you say that would be a classic-?

Kay: Yes.

Jim: So I mean, one of Jean’s things would be that, you know, I struggle being emotionally attached to her in certain ways.

Kay: Right.

Jim: And I’m mindful of that. But, but the difficulty in that is I’m always saying, well, Lord, those circumstances that I was in, um, did- was that a protection mechanism that you-

Kay: Yes, I-

Jim: … you’ve given me?

Kay: … I think all these are protective mechanisms. And they work. In my family, it was way more comfortable not to show my feelings. It was way more comfortable the few times I did cry, I went to my room. Um, I went on a walk. I always moved away from people when I was sad. Or when a feeling would be too much to handle and keep down. And of course I did that in my marriage for the first 15 years. He never saw me cry. So yes, as a child, they’re very protective. But they become so automatic, we don’t even know what’s animating us as an adult. And so I had to learn to develop a vocabulary for feelings. I had to learn to go back and repair the places where I just didn’t develop.

Jim: Ah.

Kay: And one of the huge things for me as an avoider was to learn to take a feeling word list and to refer to it often so that I could start to have a more of a knowledge about what do I feel because feelings link to needs.

Jim: Y- you gotta fill that in for me.

Kay: Okay. If you go to our website and you go to freebies, there’s a list, uh, a document there called Soul Words. And it’s also in our book. It’s just a list of words that are feelings that describe what’s inside a person.

Jim: Do you have some examples?

Kay: Oh my goodness. Um, sad, jealous, betrayed, um-

Milan: Humiliated, abandoned-

Kay: Ashamed. Um-

Jim: So are these things, I mean, literally you have a list, and you’ll say to Milan, I’m feeling this. And point to it or-

Kay: Well, for now, I can identify because … But for two years, I had that list in my journal. I had it in my bible. I had it in my car. I had it in my purse. And-

Jim: Wow.

Kay: … I, I purposed to look at it and say, okay, if I was feeling a feeling right now, what might it be? And at first, I was sort of guessing. But then I begin to learn to read my body because avoiders turn off their body, which is part of how we know what we’re feeling. Our body is usually the first signal that we’re feeling something. We get angry, we get a tight, tense, uh, shoulders. Or, or we’re sad and we, we start to feel an anxious stomach. So I begin to pay attention to my body. And at about the two-year mark, I actually started to realize, hey, I, I actually know what I feel right now.

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Kay: And I could put words to it. So this is a very important growth goal.

Milan: Mm.

Jim: We ask our audiences all the time does God have emotions from Genesis to Revelation? Do we see God i- you know, with his emotions? And everybody goes, yeah. And I go, lots of them? Yeah. Well, what are they? Jealous and envy. I have anger. I have hurt. I have sadness. I have grief. I have joy. God has all these feelings. I have love. And He, He knows how to name them. He knows why He has them. And He knows what He wants to do with them. And we’re made in the image and likeness of God, aren’t we? So for us to have access to our emotional selves, this is called emotional intelligence. Our God’s highly emotionally intelligent. This isn’t psychobabble. We’re just copying God.

Jim: Mm.

John: You’re listening to Milan and Kay Yerkovich today on Focus on the family. And you’ll find their book How We Love, and a number of other helpful resources, at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Let’s continue the conversation with Milan and Kay Yerkovich.

Jim: Okay. We’ve talked about that secure connector type. And that’s the goal. That’s where you wanna get to.

Kay: Right.

Jim: And we’re gonna talk more about how you do that.

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Jim: We’ve mentioned the, the vacillator, the avoider. Let’s talk about the pleaser. And what we’re doing here for you is identifying, perhaps through the description of these, what you might be-

Kay: Right.

Jim: … but there is that online survey you could take. And just go to, uh, our website and you’ll be able to do that. We’ll link to the Yerkovich’s, uh, survey that you can do. So talk about the pleaser.

Milan: Well, you were right a moment ago. I liked how you put it. These are stress management coping mechanisms for us as children. What serves us best to survive what we’re going through at the time? For me, I had an angry parent, an explosive parent, and so I found that to be quiet, to be a good boy, to try to do nice things around the house, to stay in and maybe clean or straighten things up, to really emotionally care take the parent. What happened to me was- is I would stay in for the purpose of trying to figure out are things improving? Are they getting better? Are they getting worse? What can I do? And so why do good kids come upon the scene? They’re trying to be good to manage what’s happening around them to make somebody happier. So that’s your point exactly, uh, Jim when you talk about how we cope. And it serves us well. So that’s what I did as a child. As a result of that, pleasers walk into adulthood, and they don’t have a strong sense of self. They’re very tuned into other. But if you ask them, well, where do you wanna go for lunch? They’ll say, well, wherever you wanna go for lunch. You know, they don’t have a strong sense of opinion. Secondly, they, they have very weak boundaries. If you need somebody to do something at the last minute, as a pleaser and they’ll get it done for you, you know, even if it’s midnight. Um, they don’t have a strong sense of the ability to say no. That’s boundaries. And then they won’t get angry. Why? Because anger’s a separating emotion.

Jim: Huh.

Milan: If I get angry at you, that means we’re gonna have some distance and separation. So pleasers, unlike Kay who could tolerate separateness, pleasers need closeness in order to feel okay. And I’m okay if you think I’m okay. So I’m very other dependent upon you to make me feel okay. If you’re smiling, then I can smile inside. So that’s what I grew up with. So it took a lot of work for me to get to a place where I could learn to be strong and autonomous by myself without your approval or yours or, or even Kay’s.

Kay: Aren’t you gonna ask me, like, how it was to be married to a pleaser? (laughter)

Milan: Well, I was just gonna- I was just gonna- [crosstalk 00:20:25] I was just gonna-

Jim: I- I wasn’t gonna ask that question.

Milan: Did you notice I was just turning this way? (laughter)

Kay: I was wondering. Okay. Very good.

Jim: Good conflict there. I like that.

Milan: So what was it like to be married to a- an unrecovered pleaser who had no idea he was.

Kay: You know, you were so nice, and I kept feeling like why does it bug me so much that you’re so nice-

Milan: It was nauseatingly nice, wasn’t it?

Kay: No I- as I look back now, you used to ask me all the time, “How are you? How are you?” And of course I only would answer, “Fine.”

Jim: (laughs)

Kay: But I could say now that I understand it. It never felt like it was really about me. It felt like it was more for you. Like if o- there was one right answer. I’m great, I’m fine, you’re amazing, you’re the most wonderful husband I could ever have.

Milan: So it was a disingenuous question. It was really not about you. It was really about me, wasn’t it?

Kay: Right.

Milan: How are you?

Kay: Right.

Jim: Oh, that’s interesting you picked that up-

Kay: I did pick that up-

Jim: … intuitively.

Kay: … on- yes.

Jim: Yeah.

Kay: So I think the other thing that was frustrating is, you know, the lack of boundaries, you know, you- you could be very overbooked trying to help everyone and, you know, be nice to everybody. And, uh, sometimes, uh, that took away some time that we might’ve had at the home. But-

Milan: And I’ve completely grown out of that, haven’t I?

Kay: (laughter) You- yeah, you have. (laughter) In fact, no one-

Jim: He’s winking.

Kay: … kind of the, the interesting things about these love styles is they’re, they’re kind of- we could also think of them as a stress response.

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Kay: So avoiders flee. You know, you have your fight, flight, freeze. Pleasers get-

Milan: Freeze.

Kay: … very- they freeze if you’re mad at them or there’s conflict. They get, you know, rattled. And, uh, vacillators just fight.

Milan: Vacillator’s fight. Mm-hmm.

Kay: So we have these stress responses that sort of go with certain reactions that are very predictable.

Jim: Right. And the last one, I think it’s the last one, is chaotic.

Kay: Yes.

Jim: Um, describe chaotic. That seems to be the worst possible state. I- I’m not sure that they’re measured-

Kay: It is.

Jim: … here.

Kay: No, it is.

Jim: That one looked more destructive than the others. But talk about the chaotic, uh, controller victim mentality.

Milan: Well, well Jim, just a little while ago, you said my childhood was so chaotic.

Jim: Right.

Milan: And what was- when we stop and say what was that like? And, and having read your book, it’s a home where there’s unpredictability, where a person doesn’t know they’re safe. Where the parents is supposed to bre- be providing security and safety, the parent is simultaneously dangerous, abusive, neglectful, harmful or so addicted or at a- such a mentally unhealthy place that they’re, perhaps, at a level or lower than the child.

Jim: Huh.

Milan: So what does the child do? The child doesn’t know what is predictable. There’s, if you will, another synonym for chaotic is disorganized. So there’s this disorganized attachment, not just a disorganized world, but a disorganized attachment experience. As one researcher coined it, it’s called fright without solutions. The child is in a frightened state without any solution to that. And the child is left in this unsettled state. And so they often then find themselves moving into one of two modes, a highly controlling mode where they can predict their world, which has high levels of rigidity to it. Because if I have a rigid, controlled world then I’m not left unsettled anymore because I know what’s gonna happen around me every day. It just means that you better do what I say so that you’re not doing something different that rattles me. Or they might end up more of a victim type.

Kay: Yeah. The victim is just somebody who learned to tolerate the intolerable.

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Kay: This is the more compliant child in this home that just learns if they stay under the radar, if they hide under the bed, um, that that’s their way of coping. The trouble is they; they have very little sense of self or boundaries and it’s very hard for them to stand up and and say no to someone who’s controlling or abusive themselves. Because they’ve already learned to tolerate the intolerable. That’s normal.

John: Such great insights from Milan and Kay Yerkovich today on Focus on the Family. And, uh, we’re gonna pause right there and bring the balance of the conversation to you tomorrow.

Jim: Milan and Kay have so much more good stuff to share on this topic of love styles. Uh, each of those, the avoider, the pleaser, the vacillator, the controller, and the victim all resonate with us in one way or another. And by discovering your love style and how it shapes your behavior, beliefs and expectations, you’re gonna be able to strengthen your marriage and make it thrive. And let me remind you that Focus on the Family is here for you. We know there are ups and downs in marriage. That’s just the way life is. And when those harder times come, we can help.

John: Yeah. We have a team of caring, Christian counselors who can listen to your situation. Uh, they’ll pray with you. They’ll offer some resources and help you get on the right path to healing.

Jim: We also have our Hope Restored program for relationships that are in real trouble. Uh, this is a four-day marriage intensive that offers hope and healing for you and your spouse. And people who have attended say it is life changing. How about that for a testimony?

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: In our survey work done two years after those who attend, 80% of those couples are still together and doing better. If you’re in a place of brokenness in your marriage, get in touch with us. The Lord does amazing things in those intensives. And we also have Milan and Kay’s book on the love styles we talked about today. It’s titled How We Love, and you can get that directly from Focus on the Family. In fact, when you make a monthly pledge, uh, to the ministry of Focus, of any amount, we’ll send you a copy as our way of saying thank you for partnering in ministry together. And if you can’t commit a monthly amount, uh, we understand. Uh, we’ll send that to you for a one-time gift as well.

John: Yeah. Donate as you can. Learn more about Hope Restored. Uh, schedule a time to talk with one of our counselors. And request your copy of the book How We Love. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459. Or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. We’ll be back tomorrow with more from the Yerkovich’s as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

Today's Guests

How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage

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Accepting Your Imperfect Life

Amy Carroll shares how her perfectionism led to her being discontent in her marriage for over a decade, how she learned to find value in who Christ is, not in what she does, and practical ways everyone can accept the messiness of marriage and of life.

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Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Pastor Dave Carder offers couples practical advice for protecting their marriages from adultery in a discussion based on his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. (Part 1 of 2)

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!