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Discovering Your Love Style (Part 2 of 2)

Discovering Your Love Style (Part 2 of 2)

Counselors Milan and Kay Yerkovich offer helpful insights on learning how you show love to others, particularly your spouse, and explain what steps you can take toward loving like God does and breaking negative patterns to create a deeper, richer marriage. (Part 2 of 2)
Original Air Date: July 8, 2016

Preview:

Milan Yerkovich: Well, it was hard to feel like I could capture you or that I could pull you into a place that I could feel as though there was something substantive and meaningful. I appreciate the point, Kay, made because a lot of times we… A person who’s married to an avoider would believe that they are just holding out that truly, Kay, did not have the words to be able to describe how she felt.

End of Preview

John Fuller: That’s Milan Yerkovich and he’s reflecting on how he and his wife, Kay, got kind of stuck in their marriage as a result of something that they call their love style. And, uh, you’ll find out more about love styles and improving your marital relationship today on Focus on the Family with your host Focus president and author Jim Daly. Thanks for joining us, I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Hey, John, last time I learned so much. And if, uh, you didn’t hear the discussion we had last time with the Yerkovich’s you should go back and listen to it, because it sets the kind of the basis for the, uh, further discussion we’re going to have today. And we talked about those love styles that John referred to. And it really is an interesting way to look at the conflict that you’re having probably in your marriage. Now, we know there are great marriages. You guys are probably doing the right thing, whether you know it or not, if your relationship is strong. Uh, but we talked about those things that we learn in our childhood that really anchor us down. They weigh us down. I think the Apostle Paul is talking out that. But when we’re new in Christ, this is the area where the Lord wants to, uh, help us grow, to become more secure in who we are, made in the image of God. And, uh, it is a refreshing way to look at those things that the enemy wants to use against us. And if we can acknowledge them and learn to grow more secure in who we are, uh, we can have stronger marriages and stronger relationships. And that’s what it’s all about.

John: And Milan and Kay have written and spoken extensively on this subject. And, uh, they’ve been married themselves almost 40 years. Uh, they counsel couples. And one of the books they’ve written is called How We Love, Discover your Love Style and Enhance Your Marriage. And Jim, we should mention there’s a love style assessment. And, uh, our listeners can find a link for that on our website.

Jim: Well, let me welcome you both back.

Kay Yerkovich: Oh, thank you.

Milan: Thank you.

Kay: It’s good to be here

Jim: It was so interesting last time to, to talk about these styles. And for those who did not hear them, uh, can I ask you to quickly recap those? There’s five. Kay, why don’t you hit them?

Kay: All right. The avoider is the emotionally distant and detached person. The pleaser is the, the nice, good spouse who always wants harmony and doesn’t want to really do anything that’s too difficult emotionally. They don’t like conflict. The vacillator is the protestor. They have very ideal, um, standards. And when they’re disappointed, they’re upset, they protest, and they want to always get right back up to ideal. So they can be moody. It’s all good or it’s all bad. There’s not a lot of middle ground. And then we ended, uh, talking about the controller and the victim. And these folks come from really difficult homes where there’s abuse, there’s neglect. And the kind of feisty kids become controllers and the more compliant kids, and these homes can become victims. And, uh, they have a hard time asserting themselves as adults.

Jim: And all these things that we learned in childhood, we then take into marriages (laughs), which is the problem.

Kay: That’s exactly right. And often I, I was the avoider for 15 years and didn’t even understand that that was what was animating me because I, I never really looked back to my childhood to say, was there an emotional connection in my family or not?

Jim: And in, in all of that, we talked last time about, uh, seeing God and his hand in all of this. And, uh, again, if you didn’t hear that, you really need to download it or get the CD. Uh, the one, the goal is the secure attached person. Talk about that quickly.

Kay: Well, the goal is to, when we identify our broken style, is to move in a process of sanctification towards a secure connector who really is Christ. But the secure connector, we want a great model of it, we look at Jesus. Um, he wasn’t emotionally avoidant. Um, he connected to people from heart to heart. He talked about his own feelings in the garden. He asked for people to be with him. He didn’t suffer alone. And, um, Jesus also wasn’t the pleaser. He could stand up to the Pharisees and say, no. Uh, Jesus, wasn’t the… He could protest appropriately, but he, he wasn’t critical and always pointing the finger somewhere else as though someone else is the problem. And then as the controller, the victim, um, Jesus was only the victim one day. And that was on the cross, and it was because he chose to be. So when you look at Jesus, he’s really, doesn’t… None of these styles exemplify who we want to become like. And so we’re, we’re growing towards the secure connector who’s like Christ.

Jim: Yeah. Um, we left off last time and I mentioned that vacillator. And that in your book, How We Love, you mentioned the vacillator is most prone to that affair. That really was interesting to me. The vacillator, as you just described, is that person that’s hot or cold-

Kay: Mm-hmm.

Jim: …highly emotional in one way or the other. Why are they more prone, Milan, to an affair?

Milan: Well, what happens is, is the vacillator starts off looking at all relationships in a highly idealistic mode. If they fall in love with someone, and again, this isn’t about gender, this is male or female, if they fall in love with somebody, they are the most amazing thing on the planet. no, there’s nothing wrong with them, there’s no red flags. And so they’re all in, and they’re really intoxicated with this falling in love state. And really not knowing this, the vacillator male or female is in love with being in love. They love the euphoria of being in love. And what happens is, is that these euphoric states don’t last forever. And then if you all of a sudden start doing things that disappoint me and fall short of my ideals, then I can think I got duped, I can think that you fooled me, I can think that you beguiled me, that you, you just hooked me in only to find out there’s really a bait and switch here. When that happens, the vacillator devalues their spouse to typically in all bad place. And John Gottman, who’s done a ton of research in the area of, of marriage, one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse that they referred to is the horseman of contempt and this contemptuousness and this disdain begins to kick in. So if you’ve made your spouse all bad, then basically it leaves you very susceptible to finding a new ideal person.

Jim: What are those phrases that the vacillator will use in that state? Give me that example.

Milan: Well, they’ll say that, you know, you’re all bad, you were not the person I was… You know, you’re, you’re not the soulmate I thought you were, uh, you have disappointed me chronically, what I thought you were is not what you are. The idealized version of how I had imagined you in reality is now no longer what I see you to be. So now what they do is they do a good/bad split, and now you’re all bad. In that state, they’re sitting in church and they’re watching a person lead worship, and they think, wow, that person would be great, that person looks ideal. And, uh… Or the preacher, he is so amazing, or she is such a great teacher. And all of a sudden, they start to fall in love with an ideal again. And so they just start the process all over again. And, and so they’re very prone to affairs because of the idealism and the level of contempt and disdain to which they take their spouses. They struggle to have this middle ground of good and bad both in themselves and others.

Jim: So let’s talk about those combos, um, when they marry. Uh, last time you self-disclosed that you were a avoider/pleaser in your marriage combo.

Milan: Recovering.

Jim: Recovering, right? Okay. Um, I think Jean and I probably fit in that category as well.

Milan: Okay.

Jim: Although I think we have our secure moments. And that’s one of the qualifiers though, because you can tend to operate at least where I’m sitting and maybe that’s one of my issues. As you can tend to see yourself operate with any one of these attributes at any given time. And that might, might be my chaotic past. I don’t know.

Kay: I, I think, yeah, people from really difficult backgrounds got good at trying everything.

Jim: (laughs). Right.

Kay: And it really makes sense. Now that’s not a bad thing. It, it actually shows me that’s a child with a lot of… A smart child who’s really trying everything they can to survive in a very difficult environment. But I think in a marriage relationship, generally, you have one thing that dominates, that causes this core pattern.

Jim: So let’s talk about a few of those that you’ve seen in your counseling. Uh, just begin to express them and John and I will jump in with questions.

Milan: Okay.

Kay: Well, let’s talk about what is a core pattern.

Milan: Okay, go ahead.

Kay: A core pattern is two histories colliding.

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Kay: So my history caused me to be an avoider, your history caused you to be a pleaser. And when those collide in marriage, you get a very predictable core pattern. And for us, that pattern was you’re always chasing me around and asking me, how am I? Am I mad? Am I fine? And my answer was constantly,

Jim: And you’re irritated.

Kay: fine, I’m good, why do you keep asking me that? I just said it five minutes ago. I’m good. And then-

Milan: But, but why did I chase? You see Kay was an… Is, is an introvert and was an avoider. Okay. So avoider/introvert would be two things that would pull a person away. In that state, she was quiet. In my home growing up, quiet meant there was a storm coming or quiet meant that it was the five days after the storm where nobody talked. So if Kay was quiet or distant, it began to trigger me. That’s why I chased you around to ask you, how are you? Are you mad at me? Is everything okay? Are you sure you’re, okay? And that was this nauseating chase scene of the pursuer/distancer, and it was born out of fear and getting triggered until I could turn to Kay and say, “Your silence triggers me and terrifies me.” And she looked at me and she said, “What?”

Kay: Yeah.

Milan: “My introvertism or my need to be quiet.”

Jim: Yeah, it’s-

Milan: Terrifies you?

Jim: Yeah, I could, I could feel that.

Milan: And, and I could, I, I feel even teary right now saying that because it, it was so terrifying to have silence. Her silence really caused me to feel this terror and dread.

Jim: Which catapults you into asking that question more and more, which frustrates you more and more.

Kay: Absolutely.

John: You felt suffocated by the constant question, right?

Kay: There we have the core pattern.

Jim: And then you’re in that cycle of destruction, really.

Kay: 15 years of it. And we, he was a pastor, we did Bible studies, we prayed, we worked on these superficial symptoms. I tried to be more affectionate. He tried to ask me less often, but until we understood the root was attachment and we started working at the root, uh, and I took ownership of that avoider part of me, and he took ownership of the pleaser, and we began to individually work on our sanctification in that way.

Milan: But iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. So we talked to each other about our fears, how we scared each other. We entered into very real dialogues up with using that feeling word list we talked about in the last broadcast, a soul word list to say, what am I feeling? I could use words like terrified and scared and anxious and overwhelmed. And all these different feelings that I feel when you, when you turn your back and walk in the other direction. And then one day I saw, I said, “God, I need to understand Kay better.” And I tell this story in the book, but I ask God to help me see Kay differently. And then that day God was one of the most miraculous answers to prayer I ever had. I saw the little girl, seven-year-old little girl sitting on the end of her bed all by herself, nobody to talk to, highly sensitive, nobody asking her how she was. And I realized she learned to be alone, she learned not to engage. And that’s who was inside the adult, Kay.

Jim: Yeah.

Milan: She was still inside. Help me love her Lord, there.

Jim: Yeah. And you know, again, those that had painful childhoods that understand this, our heart feels what you’re saying. Others that may have had different experiences, um, they’re more skeptical. You can really come on. Those childhood experiences really? Is it that simple? But you’re saying, yes, it is, actually.

Kay: Well, we say you should have a PhD in your spouse’s childhood.

Jim: Interesting.

Kay: And I’ll tell you why. You are the sum total of your history. And for the first 15 years of our marriage, I have to say we never had any discussions about our childhood or how it related to our current relationship. And that was the key that unlocked compassion, because when I heard those memories and I understood how really frightened he was, instead of being annoyed by his pursuing, I began to feel compassion, well, oh, no wonder you do that. So I think understanding your spouse’s history is the key to having compassion because usually the thing that they do that just bugs you the most has a childhood wound sitting under it.

Jim: Yeah. There is that challenge, I think in a lot of relationships that you think you know each other, um, and you, you tolerate that level of knowing each other.

Kay: Right.

Jim: But to have true intimacy, and that’s what you’re talking about, Godlike intimacy. You know, the scripture says he knows everything about our heart.

Kay: Right.

Jim: He knows our thoughts.

Kay: Right.

Jim: And all of that.

Kay: Right.

Jim: So what you’re really going for is a deeper level of intimacy in the marriage. So you are vulnerable toward each other, trusting of each other. And therefore you end up, I think, more in love with each other.

Milan: Oh, that’s absolutely true. One of the biggest mistakes the church makes is believing that, in 2 Corinthians, if any man is in Christ, he’s a new creature. The old things have passed away, behold new things have come. Well, God doesn’t erase your “C” drive. He doesn’t erase your history. He doesn’t clear out all those box cars. We bring our entire history, we bring our educations, we bring our experience, you know, we bring our regional accents with us, wherever we go that isn’t gone. Our position in Christ is new, completely new. And positionally, he has erased and eradicated our sin. But these histories we bring with us. So when you say we have colliding histories, Kay, it is all of us that collides.

Kay: And we have to learn how to grow out of those. And until we identify what’s broken, how do we grow out?

John: This is Focus on the Family. That’s Kay Yerkovich. And she and her husband, Milan, are the authors of the book, How We Love. And you can find out more about that when you go online. Look for us at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And as we pick it back up with Milan and Kay, I had just shared, um, how a few days earlier, my wife, Dena, and I had a little disagreement and she called me out for going silent on her. Now, Jim asked Kay to explain my reaction.

Kay: Well, my guess is you learned to go silent way before you met your wife.

Jim: laughs.

John: Possibly. Yeah.

Kay: And so, you know, when you think about, well, where did I first learn to go silent and why was I learning to go silent? You know, and you go back in history because generally we tell couples all the time, look, your marriage problems didn’t start in your marriage-

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Kay: …they started way before you even knew your spouse or met your spouse. You developed these relational styles before you married.

John: Yeah. I think in that moment, I had made a quick assessment and determined that it’s a no-win situation so just be quiet.

Jim: Take your ball and go home.

John: Yeah. And, and somewhere… You’re saying somewhere in my past that imprint was kind of made and I’ve carried that into the relationship. Obviously, we, we don’t live there, but that was a moment where we’re living there.

Kay: Sure. Absolutely. And we all have our ways of coping. And that’s just one way of coping, that works as a child, that just doesn’t work as an adult.

Jim: Huh. Give us another combinations that you’ve seen where there’s trouble.

Milan: The number one couple to come into a couple’s counseling session is the vacillator/avoider. And the vacillator/avoider is the number one couple because one’s proximity seeker and the other one is a distancer. And the avoider, like John, I flee, I go, I shut down, the, the vacillator wants to pursue. Do you want to role play that really quick?

Jim: Do it.

Kay: Oh sure.

Milan: Hey, I’m home.

Kay: Hi, hi, I can’t wait to show you something.

Milan: You know what? Um, I’m looking for the mail, uh, (laughs).

Kay: I’ve been waiting all day, honey, come here, I want to show you something.

Milan: Wait a minute. It, it is, it’s from the mortgage company. It has mortgage on the top.

Kay: I know, I know, you always look at the mail. That’s the first thing every day.

Milan: I know, but this is really time sensitive. I have, I have to send this in today.

Kay: I’ve been waiting all day.

Milan: You know what? Sometimes you throw the mail away.

Kay: Are you kidding me right now?

Jim: (laughs). Okay. This is way too close.

Kay: Okay. Wait a minute. You know what? I know.

Milan: We have to sign it and we have to fax it tonight. So I know you’re excited about something now. Let me look in the trash here.

Kay: You know what? I get it. I’ll become a piece of mail. Then you’ll notice me. Oh, okay, I’m a piece of mail. Now, do you see me?

Milan: Look, I just-

Kay: Okay. You know what? I don’t want to show you anything. Never mind. I’m done. Forget it.

Milan: Look, I just need this, this mail. I know she threw it away.

Jim: Huh.

Milan: Uh, I wonder if she’s going to have sex tonight.

Kay: No (laughs)

Milan: (laughs).

Jim: You don’t need a letter in the mail to answer that question. That is powerful. I mean, everybody’s identifying with a portion of that, I’m sure.

Kay: Okay. Well, I’m the vacillator. I am, I’ve been ruminating all day about homecoming and how’s that going to look and what I’m going to show him and how excited I am and-

Jim: How excited he’ll be.

Kay: And how excited he’ll be.

Milan: I’ll match her excitement.

Jim: Yeah.

Milan: And I didn’t. And she’s deeply disappointed.

Kay: So now it’s like, forget it, I’m done, I’m not going to show you. I don’t know why vacillators love those two words. I’m done, they say it all the time.

John: Those opposite qualities were attractive-

Kay: Absolutely.

John: …in the first place. Why?

Kay: Well, vacillators marry avoiders because they’re consistent and they’re predictable. And vacillators want predictable connection.

Milan: When we’re dating, we’re both involved in this intoxicated state called “in love”. And we have these chemicals going in our brain. And so there is every time we see each other, there’s this delight and our brain’s light up with delight. Reality sets in and there’s refinanced papers to sign and there’s stuff to do and there’s life to manage. And what happens is I avert my gaze from the vacillator, and the averted gaze causes them to get triggered.

Jim: Huh.

Milan: It’s as though-

Kay: That’s their childhood.

Milan: …that’s their childhood triggered the averted gaze. I turn for audiences when we speak all over the United States and in the world. At a moment within that presentation, Kay and I will turn our backs on the whole audience and say, what, what do you feel right now? We’ll turn our back on the audience. And we get words like betrayed, duped-

Kay: Unseen.

Milan: …abandoned, unseen-

Kay: Invisible.

Milan: Invisible, disrespected.

Kay: All the vacillators answer the question. It’s really interesting.

Milan: And we say, well, you just personalized our behavior, didn’t you? I was just looking at the drum set really behind me on the stage, but you personalized it. You felt as though I was personally rejecting you. And in that personal rejection state, there’s this high level of volatility and reactivity that causes this, this vibration to occur, that then sets this friction into motion.

Jim: Again, what a great way to have discussion, I mean, in your marriage. These are the tools that people need to observe their behavior, know their own heart better.

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Jim: I love that quote that, uh, one of the things for us as Christians, um, is to know our heart as best as possible-

Kay: Yes.

Jim: …so that we can be true. And I think objective in knowing ourselves and knowing where our strengths are and where our weaknesses are. And this is one way to do it. Uh, How We Love you talk about also that devastating combination of controller, uh, who marries victim.

Milan: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Talk about that combination.

Milan: Well, Kay. Maybe you could say a few words about this as well, but they’re a natural couple to come together because they both came from that chaotic background. And they’re used to the dynamics of disorganization, of control, anger, addiction, etc. Why don’t you comment on that?

Kay: Well, the controller looks attractive because generally in early dating, they make all the decisions, they, um, you know, they decide where you’re going to go, it looks like you’re really being taken care of. And, of course, that’s very attractive to the victim who doesn’t have any really, really voice or doesn’t have, have much of a sense of self of where they want to go. Uh, and yet, you know, early into a relationship, these poor folks just didn’t have anything to really build on from their childhoods. Instead of getting a lot of good examples, they got a lot of negative examples. So, you know, we say your marriage is probably going to be as easy or as difficult as your childhood, which sort of makes sense. So these folks come together and they’re many times lacking just the basic stress regulation skills that you need.

Jim: What does that conflict look like in their marriage?

Kay: If anyone in the family doesn’t comply, the controller will be angry and intimidating to regain control. And generally there’s then this explosion at some point where everybody in the family is afraid and, and scared. And then the cycle of abuse, there’s this little window where the controller may come back and apologize, and say, I’m sorry, that’s never going to happen again, and the victim always takes them back and the whole cycle repeats over and over and over again. So it’s-

Milan: So that cycle of abuse, Kay, can involve yelling and screaming and rage. The abuse can involve physical altercations, hitting, excessive disciplinary tactics. There was a sad story just a couple of years ago, uh, where, uh, a highly rigid controlling father was angry at his adopted daughter for not complying. She was having a hard time fitting in, and he made her sleep outside. There was a cold snap. She froze to death, she died and this guy just, you know, had to discipline her, but it was unreasonable, you see. This unreasonableness, which there isn’t any way to regulate reason or the reactivity levels. That’s exceptionally high in this home, the chaotic, disorganized home. There’s no filters and there’s no way to regulate or modulate the ways in which we control our lives and lives of others.

Kay: It’s a result of trauma.

Milan: It’s a result of trauma. I have no regulation filters.

Kay: Right.

Milan: I can’t control my reactivity.

Jim: When you think of, when you think of that, the, the sins of the father being visited upon the next generation, I mean, it’s kind of an insight into what the Lord is saying there.

Kay: It is an insight.

Jim: These are the behavior patterns that cause children to react.

Kay: That’s exactly right.

Jim: And they grew up and have their issues.

Kay: And the sad part is the, the healing is difficult because this group has more unresolved trauma than any other group. And when we have a lot of unresolved trauma, we’re not going to do well, regulate our, our own stress or setting boundaries. We just go to extremes of rage or extremes of dissociation and not being fully present. And the healing is really going back and remembering what it was like to be a child and finding people in your life who can comfort you and give you what you never got as a kid, someone who cares.

John: I really appreciate learning the concepts, uh, about these love styles that Milan and Kay Yerkovich have been sharing. Uh, this is Focus on the Family and what a great program today!

Jim: It is. It’s solid material. And when you start to think about and grasp your love style, you can really get in tune with your behavior in your relationship and make your marriage stronger, which is a good thing. Uh, this is why Focus on the Family exists. We want to help you have the best marriage possible for the sake of Christ. Let’s say it that way.

John: Mm-hmm. Right.

Jim: And, of course, uh, challenges arise. That’s being human and living a sinful world, but we can help you. We have caring Christian counselors on staff that will listen to you, pray with you, and offer insights on how you can move forward.

John: And beyond that, for those who are really struggling, we have our Hope Restored Marriage Intensives. Uh, those are really unparalleled. Uh, I might add that Dena and I had an opportunity attend one of those intensive sessions and it really helped, it changed our relationship, I think, for the rest of our lives for the better.

Jim: Well, we hear that, uh, time and again, John, about couples who have gone through those intensives. I love hearing about the marriages that have been saved through Hope Restored. God is doing some amazing things in that program. Couples on the brink of divorce come back stronger and better than ever. And again, the most important data point is that after two years we go back and survey those who attend and over 80% of them are still married and doing better. That’s outstanding. So if you need help in your marriage, uh, don’t shrink back, get in touch with us. Today may be the day that everything changes for you. Uh, we also have Milan and Kay’s great book, How We Love. You can order that directly from Focus on the Family and the proceeds all go back into ministry. We don’t pay shareholder dividends. When you sign up for a monthly pledge of any amount today, we’ll send you a copy of that book as our way of saying thank you for your support. And if that monthly commitment is too much, uh, we get that. We’ll send it to you for a one-time gift. And no amount is too small when it comes to saving marriages and helping families thrive.

John: And you can learn more about Hope Restored, uh, getting a copy of that book, How We Love and so much more when you get in touch with us here. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY, 800-232-6459, or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Now, tomorrow we’re going to be hearing about how to pass your faith on to your children.

Preview:

Adam Griffin: So it’s okay to let our kids see that mom and dad make mistakes too. It’s okay for mom and dad to confess and repent in front of their kids so that our kids can be prepared when they face a problem, when they fall short to go, okay, this is normal.

End of Preview

Today's Guests

How We Love: Discover Your Love Style, Enhance Your Marriage

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Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you! 

Focus on the Family

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