Custom CSS of Section contains Conditional Preview for See Life Campaign Elements

Choose the amount you'd like to give.
$
Choose the amount you'd like to give.
$

Focus on the Family Broadcast

Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on email
Share on facebook
Share on twitter
Share on pinterest
Share on email

Passing Your Faith On To Your Kids

Passing Your Faith On To Your Kids

Pastor Matt Chandler and Pastor Adam Griffin share relatable stories from their own families. They’ll encourage you with practical ways to disciple your children, as Jesus taught in Matthew 28:19-20, “Go and make disciples of all nations … teaching them to observe all I have commanded you.”
Original Air Date: May 5, 2022

Preview:

Matt Chandler: God’s design is so thorough and so effective that you are discipling your children right now. You, you are discipling them. You’re discipling your children. You’re discipling your grandchildren. There’s no way around it. God’s design is so thorough, so good that you are making disciples. The question is what are you discipling them in?

End of Preview

John Fuller: That’s pastor Matt Chandler describing the really important responsibility that God has given every mom and dad to, uh, and grandparent as well to disciple our children. Today on Focus on the Family, we’re going to be looking at how to pass on your faith to the next generation. And your host is focus president and author Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller

Jim Daly: And John we’re in Dallas. And, uh, great to be here.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: With two good friends and we’re going to address the number one concern that parents contact us at Focus on the Family and that’s, how can I pass on my faith to my kids and help train my kids and disciple my kids in the way of the Lord? You know, Deuteronomy 6 is so clear. Uh, it instructs us, no, it commands us to diligently train our kids. And as parents we’re called to do that, but in the hustle and bustle of life, and I talk to a lot of guys, how do I do that?

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: You know, between everything and everything else going on. So we’re going to put that tool in your hand today. And these gentlemen have written a wonderful book that I want to get into your hands.

John: Yeah. And, uh, let me just say many of us feel inadequate. Uh, we’re too busy. We don’t know how to start. And so, uh, maybe even we feel like I’m not really engaged at church. I’m not sure my kids are engaged. Now what do I do? And so, uh, we are glad to have, uh, a couple of guests with us or were their guests. I’m not sure Jim-

Jim: (Laughs)

John: How that works.

Jim: It is what it is.

John: We’re talking today to Matt Chandler. Matt Chandler is the lead pastor of the Village Church. And, uh, Adam Griffin is lead pastor at Eastside Community Church here in the Dallas area. Together, these, uh, gentlemen have written a book it’s called Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones. And we’ll encourage you to get a copy of, uh, this book from Focus on the Family. Uh, our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY, or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Matt and Adam, welcome to Focus on the Family.

Adam Griffin: Thanks for having us. So, glad to be here.

Matt: Kind of surreal to be sitting here.

Jim: It’s great-

Matt: Focus on the Family has been such a big deal.

Jim: Well, thanks for hosting us.

Matt: No, happy to do it. Happy to do it.

Jim: Let’s start with that fear and, you know, let me, uh, my wonderful wife, she would be a self-confessed perfectionist.

Matt: Sure.

Jim: And I think it’s in that category where a lot of Christian parents, you know, we can’t do it really well, we may shrink back from doing it at all.

Matt: Yeah.

Adam: Yeah.

Jim: And I can identify that. This idea of discipleship with your kids.

Adam: Yeah.

Jim: We don’t want to mess some up.

Matt: Right.

Adam: Totally.

Jim: So there’s a lot of fear that can be there, but man, we got to jump in, right?

Adam: Yes sir.

Matt: Absolutely.

Jim: So how do we do that?

Adam: Well, I think one of the important things to remember is we’re not trying to raise perfect kids. We’re raising kids prepared to be messed up. Right? All of us have sin in our lives. So if we present a picture to our kids, that you have to be perfect to be a Christian, then we’re presenting something unattainable for our kids. So it’s okay to let our kids see that mom and dad make mistakes too. It’s okay for mom and dad to confess and repent in front of their kids so that our kids can be prepared when they face a problem-

Matt: That’s right.

Adam: When they fall short to go, okay, is normal in the Christian life. This is how a Christian responds to their own personal failure.

Jim: Yeah.

Adam: And a parent demonstrating that actually is really powerful.

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: It’s so good. Why do you think Matt, why do we shrink back from that? I mean, we could probably do that every day-

Matt: Yeah, I-

Jim: multiple times. (Laughs)

Matt: Well, I think we, we’ve probably been poorly discipled ourselves. I think there’s probably a, um, reductionist view and understanding of the gospel. A lot of what Christian Smith called moralistic therapeutic deism has-

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: Uh, kind of leaked into the church. And so it’s, it’s much easier as a parent to just kind of say, “These are the rules don’t break them.” Than it is to, um, see our children through the lens of the gospel on their own journey, like we are. So if I look at my 19-year-old, 16-year-old and 12-year-old, so I’m quite a bit ahead of where Adam is right now in raising kids, I think the most profound, if they could come in today, probably the more profound shaping force of my life, uh, has not been that I’m always nailing it. But those times when I went into their room, after I blown it-

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: And just said, “Hey, all this stuff about Jesus, daddy needs it too.”

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: And what you just saw is that daddy’s not where he, the Lord wants him to be.

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: Or that he wants himself to be. And so I’m, I want to ask you to forgive me. I’m going to try to do better. I’ll probably blow it again, but will you forgive me? I, I think that more than anything else we did and the consistency, yeah, you said you could do it every day.

Jim: Yeah (laughs) right.

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: Um, the consistency at which-

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: We did that created a space of safety for our kids to not hide from us-

Adam: Good.

Matt: When they were struggling or doubting, or-

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: We became a safe container simply because we were willing to own our own shortcomings and failures.

Jim: And there’s so much in that. I can actually remember the first time I did that with Trent.

Matt: Sure.

Jim: And it may have been the reason I remember it was because of his response to it.

Adam: Really?

Jim: He’s 21 now. But I remember he was six years old, and he had done something wrong, and we had the discipline moment.

Matt: Sure.

Jim: And he then went off to bed and he was in his, the top bunk bed. Of course, he’s the older brother-

Matt: Come on.

Jim: So he gets the top, right?

Matt: (Laughs)

Jim: So I’m looking at him kind of eyeball to eyeball, and I said, “You know what? I’m just, I’m sorry. I overreacted to that situation. That was wrong of me.” And he had this big smile on his face. And I was like, “What? What’s so funny.”

Matt: (Laughs)

Adam: (Laughs)

Jim: And he goes, “I didn’t know, parents had to apologize.”

Matt: Come on, see?

Jim: Isn’t that amazing?

Adam: Yeah. It is.

Jim: Do you have that kind of moment?

Matt: Oh, absolutely. Yeah. I mean, like I said, I can think of one in particular where with my oldest daughter, we were in a season that, uh, we were scared. We, we looked like she was heading some spaces that were terrifying to us. There’d somehow… And it’s funny how it happens. Maybe this will be helpful. There felt like there, there became this kind of chasm, uh, between us, where we had been so kind of tightly knit together as a family. And I knew, I mean, I could feel that I was not safe for her.

Jim: Right.

Matt: Uh, I was reading into every little thing as defiance. I was, I, I had kind of grown hardened towards her. Then I just said, “Hey, I know I not a safe place for you right now-

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Wow.

Matt: “And I need you to forgive me.”

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: And she was like, “Well, dad, what happened?” I was like, “No, no, no, this isn’t about you. I, I don’t want to get into right or wrong. You, we’ll probably see that different ways. I’m saying I’m supposed to be a safe place for you to navigate this season of your life-

Jim: Wow.

Matt: And I have not been a safe place for you and I’m asking you to forgive me.

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Matt: And then she do has grabbed me and we both just wept for about… And that was a significant turning point-

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: In that season where, I think she was anxious and nervous trying to find her way. I was anxious and nervous as she was trying to find her way-

Adam: (Laughs)

Matt: But not finding her way, the way maybe I would like for her to find her way.

Jim: Yeah.

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Matt: And there’s real… Nothing’s more primal in us than our kids.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: Nothing can tap into that primal kind of protection, fear, instinct like our kids can. Like, nobody has that kind of power over us. And man, I’d played it really poorly and yet owning it, and that I can point to that moment as a significant marker. Not when we agreed about the behavior or the discipline, not when, you know, we kind of made peace about the way she was trying to work through it, simply by me saying, “I’m supposed to be safe and I’m not safe right now.”

Jim: Matt, as you describe that, what I’m sensing is the dad I’ll just-

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: Concentrate this comment on those dads that didn’t recognize that moment. That becomes kind of the bedrock of their relationship.

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: And it’s not a healthy one.

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: And then that little girl is 10 and then 13 and then 15. And if that dad has not rectified that yeah. There’s a whole lot of pain that’s out in front of you. And I think a lot of Christian homes, that’s one of the things I’m trying to say, formulas don’t work-

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Matt: They don’t.

Jim: Because there’s something called free will.

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: I’m sure when Jesus, you know, when God created at Adam and Eve, he was like, uh, the formula didn’t work-

Matt: (Laughs).

Adam: (Laughs)

Jim: Right?

Adam: Sure.

Jim: He’s the, he’s the father of a bunch of teenagers called us.

Matt: Still.

Jim: We all have free will. But in that context, what advice would you give that dad, he’s hearing this right now going, “Wow. I blew that chance.” What would you say to that dad with maybe slightly older kids now? How do you rewind that and say, okay-?

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: I heard something today.

Matt: Well, the first thing I would say is to hopefully breathe for a second and know we’ve all blown it.

Adam: Yeah

Jim: Right.

Matt: And so your, your instinct of, oh man, I’ve ruined this is not a good instinct. It’s the father of lies, it’s the enemy. Like what our God does is redeem.

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: And what is redemption except taking this broken thing, this stupid thing, this moronic thing you said, this, um, compulsion that you gave into rather than being wise and filled with the grace and mercy of Christ and, and now redemption is what? It’s owning it so that the forgiving, transforming power of Jesus through the holy spirit can fill it. Like I know even in our congregation, 60-year-old dads who go back to grown children now-

Jim: Right.

Matt: And say, “Hey, listen, I have just been made aware of this by the spirit. Will you please forgive me?” And, and if I could go back in time, I would do that so different. In fact, here’s how I would do that. If I could go back in time, but I can’t, and I know I hurt you and I should have been a safer place for you. Will you please forgive me?

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: The profound power of that on even a grown child and then on your grandchildren, um, is unbelievable. So you, you will not out sin the cross of Christ.

Adam: That’s right.

Matt: You’re just not going to be able to do it.

Adam: Right.

Matt: And what the enemy wants is for you to hyper fixate on the places that you blew it-

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Matt: So that you won’t step into what God has for you in the now.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: And so I, I tell every man I can, “Just own it.”

Adam: Yes.

Matt: Just own it. And well, I don’t think they’ll forgive me. You don’t get to control that; we don’t control outcomes. We control faithful obedience. So, don’t worry about the outcome, own it. If they want to hold onto it and hate you for it-

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Matt: They can ultimately, the holy spirit will deal with them in time.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: But own it and own all of it that you can.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: And then let the spirit do the Spirit’s work.

Jim: And of course, this is moms too.

Matt: Oh, absolutely.

Jim: I mean, not just dads, but moms too. Let me, let me get into the content of the book. You talk about indoctrination in there.

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Of course everybody, bristles, you know what indoctrination?

Adam: Right.

Jim: But as Christian parents, we are trying to indoctrinate, to give the doctrine of the gospel-

Matt: Mm-hmm.

Jim: To our kids. It’s not a bad word, right?

Matt: Yeah.

Adam: For sure. I, I think there’s a, a cultural sentiment that says you’re not parenting well, unless you’re letting your kid make decisions about their faith-

Matt: Yeah.

Adam: For themselves.

Jim: Right.

Adam: And when the reality is what kind of parent who calls himself a loving parent, wouldn’t tell their kid something they know is true or protect them from something they know is damaging. And so, as Christians, when we know that there’s a way, truth, and life, and it’s only through Jesus Christ, it would be so unloving-

Matt: So true.

Adam: Of the Christian to say, mm, indoctrination sounds like brainwashing to me.

Jim: Right.

Adam: So I’m not going to tell them the truth of Jesus Christ. When the reality is, everyone else is going to be trying to tell them the truth. Everyone else is going to be trying to something, trying to tell your kid something, counter to the gospel, something that will drag them away. And so for you, when you’re following the command of Christ to be the one loudest voice in their life-

Jim: Yeah.

Adam: To say, here’s, here’s where your foundation is, everything else is sinking sand and be unloving to give them anything different.

Matt: That’s right.

Jim: When you’re doing that, talk about volume.

Adam: Yeah.

Jim: You know, because some of us as parents, we can really raise the volume and think we’re being successful.

Matt: Yeah. Yeah.

Jim: I will say it louder and I would say it more often, but that’s not really what you’re saying. You got to connect to the heart.

Adam: Totally.

Jim: You got to, you got to disciple on the move. You got to do it in a way that’s engaging, not talking at them.

Adam: Well, something that Matt touched on that is crucial to this whole conversation, is that so much of what we want to talk about when it comes to content or what we talk about when it comes to theology, it should all be rooted in our efforts to cry- to try to create a safe relationship with our kids-

Matt: Yeah.

Adam: Where anything can be talked about.

Jim: Yeah, that’s good.

Adam: And there’s not a fear of confessing sin. There’s not a fear of saying here’s what I’m struggling with or here’s a word I don’t know what it means. I just fostering that kind of conversation from a very young age-

Matt: That’s right.

Adam: Is foundational to what we’re trying to do and discipling our kids.

Jim: Okay. Let me ask though-

Adam: Please.

Jim: For the parent that may not have that kind of relationship, what environment do I need to lay out there for that child to trust that they can say anything to me, and I will still love them.

Adam: Yeah.

Jim: Because I think that’s a risk-

Adam: I think cultivating-

Jim: For the child.

Adam: Absolutely. That’s why cultivating personal vulnerability is really important. And having a clear grace filled home where we can say, are there going to be consequences for mistakes? Sure. There’ll be consequences, but there’s going to be forgiveness as well.

Jim: Yeah.

Adam: Forgiveness and consequences are not mutually exclusive.

Jim: That’s right.

Adam: We can say, because this happened, we’re going to do this as a family-

Jim: Yes.

Adam: But my love for you is not at risk.

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: Right. That’s true.

Adam: The Lord’s love for you is not at risk. I am still with you for you. I’m trying to help you navigate difficult things. And it’s because of my love for you that we’re going to do these things. And then also to share vulnerably, mom and dad also have made, do make, will make similar mistakes that you have.

Jim: Matt, here is the golden question. You’re ready, John? This is it.

John: I’m ready for it.

Jim: You’re going to solve this. So-

Matt: Oh wow.

Jim: Jean and I with the kids, um, she did chemistry major. She makes pancakes precisely one cup-

Matt: Okay. (Laughs)

Jim: of flour, precisely a quarter cup of water, whatever. I’m like throw it together and it kind of looks right and put it. Yeah. So we, I mean, it’s funny, but that’s kind of how we approach family devotions. She wanted a 30-minute time together. Seven o’clock we’re going to do five minutes of songs.

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: We’re going to do five minutes of reading.

Matt: Using planning center.

Jim: Some Q&A-

Matt: (Laughs)

Jim: And then we’re going to wrap it in prayer and I’m like, uh-oh (laughs).

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: And it’s good. That stability is good. That is understanding is good. But having two boys, you got to know your kids too. They’re kinetic energy, right?

Matt: Oh absolutely.

Jim: Oh man-they’re going off the wall. So I, I’m like saying Jean, I think we got to kind of do it on the move. You know?

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: Let’s go outside. Let’s I’m doing that when I’m driving them to school-

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: Talking about the Lord, that’s our devotional time together. But you know, couples can get into a bit of a problem here-

Matt: Oh, absolutely.

Jim: Because one spouse wants devotions this way, the other wants, so okay. Solve the problem.

Matt: That’s great. Thank you.

Jim: (Laughs)

John: (Laughs)

Adam: (Laughs)

Matt: Um, I didn’t realize we were talking about marriage on this one.

Jim: Well it kind of does [inaudible]

Adam: Yeah, no it really does.

Matt: So, I, I think there can be, and Adam can speak to this also. Um, I think there can be a kind of hybrid, um, experience where what you’re looking for is, um, as best you can, the consistency to actually have some sort of devotional and what both parents, regardless of, I like it a little bit more free willing to, I got it down to the seconds, need to realize is the number of times that it comes off like you hope it comes off is rare-

Adam: Right.

Matt: And they’re hearing you more than you think they are.

Adam: Amen.

Jim: Right.

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: And so, one of the things when Adam and I were working on this, when he was actually here at TBC was, was this kind of fun conversation around like sometimes my goal in family devotional was just to be able to finish it before I had to send somebody to the room or hand out a whippin’-

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: (Laughs)

Adam: Right. Right.

Matt: Uh, I mean, it was just the goal. Like how can, like, all I want tonight is to actually do this and feel like anybody’s with me except our dog Woodrow-

Jim: (Laughs)

Matt: Who thinks that my Bible’s a snack.

John: Yeah.

Matt: Because no one else seems to be paying, not even Lauren, I lost Lauren (laughs).

Jim: (Laughs)

Matt: When did I lose Lauren? I thought this was good stuff. And so, but what I found over the years is they heard so much more than I thought they did.

Adam: That’s right.

Jim: Right.

Matt: And, and so I think it matters less, although I do think it’s good to know your kids-

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: The stage that they’re in, um, they’re kind of bents and compulsions. Uh, if there are better spaces, mornings, evenings, if there are times where they’re a little bit more quiet. My kids got, the closer we got to bedtime, the wilder they got, it felt like they wanted, like-

Jim: Right.

Matt: I will not sl- they were going to fight sleep. And so, evenings were terrible for us. They, because nobody would sit still because to sit still is to feel tired and to feel tired is to go to bed.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: And my kids all have what they got from their mama, a bad case of FOMO. What happens when we go to bed?

Adam: Yeah. (Laughs)

Matt: What are we missing out on? And so, evenings weren’t great for us.

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: So we had to find other times and other places and spaces and, uh, but-

Jim: What I’m hearing is flexibility.

Matt: Flexibility’s huge. And I do think you’re going to be frustrated if you think revival’s breaking out-

Jim: (Laughs)

Matt: Or that there’s going to be weeping and repentance in your family devotional.

Jim: But I like that idea of going in the same direction over a long haul.

Matt: Yeah. That’s it.

Jim: And saying, you know, these things that your kids will catch over time.

Matt: That’s right.

Jim: Even if you don’t think they’re listening to-

Matt: That’s right.

Jim: You at the moment. Adam, you also, you, you speak the book about choosing life versus for your kids.

Adam: Yes sir.

Jim: I, you know, I’d done that for myself. I never thought about that for my kids.

Adam: Yeah so-

Jim: That’s a great idea.

Matt: That’s a good idea.

Adam: Well, people, we started asking questions from people from the time our kids were infants, how can we disciple a kid who’s illiterate and doesn’t speak yet and all he does is scream at me, you know?

Jim: (Laughs)

Adam: And so-

Jim: And other things.

Adam: And other things. Yeah, you got to clean him up in every way. Uh, so we picked some verses for our sons. I have three boys and we started saying those verses over those kids, even before they could speak-

Jim: Wow.

Adam: And praying them over them now, and now they memorize them, recite them. And now even in moments of discipline, they’re what we rely on. So, I’ll just use my oldest son, for example. We talk about from the book of Corinthians, how he’s to be on the alert and stand firm in the faith, act like a man and be strong and let everything you do be done in love. And we come back to that all the time with, “Hey, do you feel like what you just did was done in love?” When we’re talking about his behavior.

Jim: Yeah.

Adam: When we’re talking about things that are around. Are you on the alert? Are you looking for the fact that every inclination of your heart may not be the wisest thing to pursue?

Jim: Yeah.

Adam: Beyond the alert, and then we’re going to stand firm in the faith? So it’s a verse we say over him as a blessing every night, but it’s also something we build his life upon. My words you guys know will pass away-

Jim: Yeah.

Adam: Anything that Matt and I put in this book will pass away. Except for those words of the word of God.

Matt: That’s true.

Adam: So we want to build our discipleship on for our kids.

John: I love the authenticity and the vulnerability. And we’re talking today on Focus on the Family with Matt Chandler and Adam Griffin. Uh, they’ve written a book, Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones. Uh, contact us for your copy. Uh, you can stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or give us a call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: Uh, Matt, you mentioned, uh, the power of spiritual lessons and milestones speak to the recognition as parents. How do we, uh, stay perceptive to that moment-

Matt: Yeah.

Jim: Identify a milestone and then I’ve done it.

Matt: Sure. So I, I think our hope in the book is to let any parent anywhere just to whisper in their ear, you can do this.

Adam: Amen. Yeah.

Matt: Like you can, this is not something that’s been set up for the spiritual elite. You, you can do this. And so, there are already built into your life as a person, significant milestones.

Jim: Right.

Matt: And so, what we did is look at the already milestones that are there and, and now let’s just build around it. And so, two that are most consistent for us is one, uh, I had, uh, terminal brain cancer that hadn’t been so terminal, uh, about 13 years ago.

Adam: Praise God.

Matt: Uh, and so we have like any, I had a go, I still have to go, I just went and got a scan on Monday. I have to go in and get scans still, uh, as they look to see, is this thing coming back or how do we keep an eye on this? And, and then my family is always on clear scan night, always had like a big kind of celebratory feast. So, where do you kids want to go? Where do you… And we just talk about the goodness of God and lengthening days-

Jim: Huh.

Matt: And his faithfulness. And so, that, that’s a milestone that’s just distinct to my family.

Adam: Right.

Matt: We all feel the anxiety of the scan. We, we all know what’s at stake. And so, to feast and to rejoice together over clear scans, or if it ever comes about which we don’t think it will, we think Jesus healed me, but the, if we ever get to that day of lament, then we’ve already got a rhythm of now we’re going to gather we’re going to lament.

Jim: Oh, that’s great.

Matt: We spent 13 years celebrating.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: And now we’re going to lament. But a huge one for us that actually has kind of become a part of our church family here now is, what, what’s been a true rite of passage party for our kids. So when my children have 13 years old, we have their party with their friends and do that whole thing. And then we have a rite of passage party that’s just grownups.

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Matt: And with my daughters, it’s, uh, a bunch of grown women that have been around them since they were born or know them best in this season. It can be either one of those.

Jim: Right.

Matt: And then I’m, I tend to be the only man. And then when my son turned 13, it was a bunch of men and then hit, you know, his mom, Lauren was the only woman in the room. And we want to take time that night to just speak into that child, the distinct God given beauty that God’s put into them. And they’re going to just call out, write in a letter, what they see in her and call it out. So, for my son, it was you are very aggressive, and you are very tender and please don’t ever one of those over the other.

Jim: Wow. That’s good.

Matt: And every man that’s spoken to his life had some version of that.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: Don’t fold into one or another to be a man is to have both. Now, here’s what’s crazy. He’s 16 right now. And at 15 he was just going through some struggles.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: So, I literally had him stand in the living room in front of me and his mom and read through three of those 10 letters that were written to him by men in his life. And you could watch him as he read, you could watch his chest come back out as he read. And he was reminded, this is you, Reid Chandler.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: This isn’t like, wherever we put you, this is what you’ll do.

Jim: I like that.

Matt: You are aggressive. And that shouldn’t be tamped down, be aggressive. And you’re kind and tender. Be that kind of man. Don’t let the world, the world’s going to want to take one of those from you.

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: Don’t let them ever take either one from you. And then we always close either with a specific gift or a lot of times, like with Reid, I just had him hold open his hand, and I just had all the men come and grab his hands, look him dead in his face and say, I’m on your team. So, Reid’s big into sports. And so, like, I’m flanking you, I’m on your side.

Jim: Right.

Matt: Let me know how I can serve you. And then we lay hands and we bless him.

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Matt: And not only have we done that now with our three kids, but all of our friends have done that. I’ve used that as an illustration from the stage multiple times. I’ve put it in the book and here at the Village, it’s kind of become a normal, um, hey rite of passage is 13. And then we, we have other ones, but that’s probably enough to get an idea of-

Jim: Oh, yeah.

Matt: Thirteen’s like you’re becoming a teenager.

Adam: Right.

Jim: Right.

Matt: So let’s mark that because being a teenager is different.

Jim: Right.

Matt: Um, it’s way different than being a third grader.

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: Or a fourth grader. I mean, there’s all sorts of biological things happening, hormonal things happening. They’re all sort of things happening. You do feel the pull of independence-

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: And the constraints of childhood.

Jim: Yeah. That’s so well said because that’s where a parent is at, you know?

Matt: Oh, absolutely.

Jim: And controlling parents will struggle.

Adam: Mm-hmm.

Jim: In that moment. So you’ve got to let go.

Matt: Oh, absolutely.

Jim: And then at the same time that child needs to take on that responsibility.

Matt: And to be able to a say in a time of peace and celebration, we’re going to get in some fights.

Jim: Yeah. And that’s normal.

Matt: And you need to know, I love you and we’re going to, we’re going to make our way through it.

Jim: Yeah. That is so good. Man the time has flown by, uh, this has been so good (laughs). That was like, wow, that’s a dose of parenting 101. And, uh, man, what a great book, Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones. And we just barely scratched it.

Matt: Come on.

Jim: So I hope folks will get a copy of the book and uh, you know, we’ll make that as easy as possible. Join us in ministry. Uh, we’ll send it as our way as saying thank you. If you can’t afford it, we’ll get it to you. I’m trusting others will cover the cost of that.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: So just get in touch with us. And uh, we believe in the resource and what these gentlemen have done to-

Adam: Oh, thank you.

Jim: Encourage parents to do the best job they can do in discipling their kids. Which as I said at the beginning is job number one.

Matt: Yeah.

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: And you can do it. Parents, you can do it. You can do it.

Adam: Yeah.

Matt: You can, I don’t care what your background is, what you’re struggling with right now, how much of a mess you feel, you can do this.

Adam: Amen.

Jim: You can do it. And if you’re struggling, call the counseling line.

Matt: Come on we’re here.

Jim: We also have counselors.

Adam: That’s right.

Jim: So call them and say, “Hey, I’m struggling.” And then they’ll give you some great ideas on how to move forward.

John: Yeah. Wherever you are in your parenting journey, uh, give us a call our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459. Or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And Jim, we should also, uh, mention our Live It Challenge, uh, campaign that we have here at Focus on the Family.

Jim: Yeah. This is connected to bring your Bible to school, which is the first Thursday of October.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And we’ve done it for several years and hundreds of thousands of kids participate. And the Live It Challenge is just to help these kids live it 365 days a year-

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Not just one day. So they can go to the website and learn more about that.

John: Yeah. So stop by the website, give us a call, donate as you can, and know that, uh, Focus on the Family is committed to helping you be the best parent you can be. Once again, our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.

Jim: Matt and Adam, it’s been great. Thanks for being here. Thanks for letting us come into your church here at the Village.

Matt: Oh, come on. Thank you, guys.

Jim: What a impressive facility.

Matt: Really?

Jim: Yeah.

Matt: Okay. I’ll take that.

Jim: (Laughs)

Matt: Not many people, not many people have said that, but we’ll take it (laughter).

John: Well on behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thank you for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller, inviting you back as we once again help you and your family thrive in Christ.

 

Today's Guests

Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones Book Cover

Family Discipleship: Leading Your Home Through Time, Moments, and Milestones

Receive the book Family Discipleship for your donation of any amount!

Recent Episodes

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Taking Courageous Steps to Save Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Ann White’s marriage was in desperate trouble, but she was terrified to let anyone know. She discusses how God helped her to break through dysfunctional patterns and finally ask for help. Hear this courageous story about a marriage restored. (Part 1 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Discovering Freedom In Your Faith

In this inspiring conversation, Gary Thomas describes the joy-filled pursuit of growing in the virtues and becoming more like Christ. Tune in to hear how foundational virtues like humility, surrender, and detachment can shape your family and relationships.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Taking a Health Journey With Your Spouse

Dave and Ashley Willis offer tips for you and your spouse to get healthy—mind, body, and spirit. With personal stories about Ashley’s journey through anxiety and depression and Dave’s health issues, you’ll see how your overall well-being affects your relationship.

You May Also Like

Being a Champion to Your Grandkids

Being a Champion to Your Grandkids

Pastor Carey Casey explains how grandfathers can utilize their unique role to have a positive and lasting influence on their grandchildren in a discussion based on his book Championship Grandfathering: How to Build a Winning Legacy.

Sara Hagerty, author of Every Bitter Thing is Sweet

Being Seen by God

Offering encouragement found in her book Unseen: The Gift of Being Hidden in a World That Loves to be Noticed, Sara Hagerty describes how we can experience God in ordinary, everyday moments, and how we can find our identity in Him apart from what we do.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you! 

Focus on the Family

Thank you for submitting this form. You will hear from us soon.