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Keeping Love Alive During Deployment (Part 2 of 2)

Keeping Love Alive During Deployment (Part 2 of 2)

Authors Gary Chapman and Jocelyn Green offer advice and encouragement to couples whose marriage faces the strains of long-term separation due to military deployment. (Part 2 of 2)

Original Air Date: July 3, 2014

Opening:

John Fuller: When military life means living apart from your spouse for months at a time, how can you possibly keep that marriage healthy?

Excerpt:

Jocelyn Green: We all expect deployment to be hard. I don’t think that I had any idea that when he came back, that things would not be perfect. I think we all expect that when we have that reunion, it will feel like a honeymoon all over again. We will just pick up where we left off. But we had to learn how to be a couple again- rather than two individuals.

End of Excerpt

John: That’s Jocelyn Green from our last Focus on the Family broadcast with Focus president and author, Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller, and Jocelyn lived the military life for a number of years while her husband served as an XO, an executive officer, in the coast guard. And uh, Jim even when couples do their best to maintain a relationship when they’re separated, it sounds like the reunification process can be kinda tricky.

Jim Daly: Uh, yeah I think it could be if you think about the deployment. Especially with the wars that we’ve been fighting these last many years. And uh, I was really intrigued by what Jocelyn shared with us last time, and I’m interested in where she’s gonna take us today. Also joining us is Dr. Gary Chapman, uh he’s the author of the best- selling, The 5 Love Languages series. Uh, and together, Gary and Jocelyn have uh researched and written The 5 Love Languages: Military Edition, which addresses the unique aspects of deployment and reunification, what we’re talkin about today and last time. Um, how do you show love to someone who isn’t physically there? Many of us don’t even have to deal with that question. That’s where we’re headed today, and I wanna say thank you to both of you for being back with us.

Body:

Jocelyn: Thanks for having us back again.

Gary Chapman: Yeah, we’re glad to be here.

Jim: Well let’s uh, get back into it uh, Gary I’m wondering if generally speaking, there are a lot of uh friction points- I guess- when a-a spouse comes back from home deployment um, the daily routine that a spouse has, you know? You’re gettin the kids off to school, or making their lunches and doing what needs to be done and handling the discipline and makin sure they’re gettin their rooms clean.

All that daily routine, and then all of a sudden the spouse comes back after being gone for maybe six months, nine months and uh, where do they fit in? Everything’s seemingly running pretty smoothly. Um, talk to us about that dynamic and maybe you know, you think of these particularly men in a combat position where they’re coming back from some very traumatic environments. What’s that like?

Gary: I think most of us do not realize the stress under which military couples live. You know, I sat around the table with the wives of 20 Navy seals and I said, “Tell me what it’s like.” And one of those ladies said, “I know this is crazy, but every time I hear a door slam outside my house when my husband’s deployed, I listen to see if there’ll be a second door slamming, because I know if there’s been a casualty, two people will come to my door.”

Jim: Mmm.

Gary: Those of us who have a civilian life don’t live under that kind of stress, the awareness when your husband’s deployed, particularly if he’s in, you know, harm’s way, that that possibility’s there. Another lady said, “You know, I know this is crazy, but sometimes I lie in bed and plan my husband’s funeral.” So, I think, you know, the emotion that military couples live under and that’s why I, I say to those of us who are civilians, pray for the military, not only for their safety, but pray for their marriages and for their families, because it is stressful and particularly when there’s deployment.

Jim: Well, it’s a terrific reminder to do that and we should be doing that. Uh Jocelyn, I want to come back again to your situation. Uh, give us some of the practical advice. What did you and your husband do once you realized, here we are. We’re um … stuck in this expectation mode. What did you begin to do, even though you had not read The 5 Love Languages? Talk about how that began to play into your relationship when you became aware of ‘em. What things did you do just out of your natural heart—

Jocelyn: Right.

Jim: -to try to remedy this?

Jocelyn: We had to make adjustments to the ways in which we expressed and received love. I knew that I wanted quality time, quality conversations with Rob. So, one of the things that I tried to do in the beginning, was I had a blank journal and I – I wrote in it while he was gone. Uh, I wrote letters to him. I wrote what was going on. And when he came home, he could read it and then, I would like … I would’ve liked for him to take it with him and write in it back to me. But he was the XO and that was really not realistic.

Jim: ‘Cause…

Jocelyn: So …

Jim: -he’s just workin’ so hard.

Jocelyn: He’s working so hard. And he does not have time to write in a blank journal. I mean, come on. So, I had to adjust that expectation. I don’t know what happened to that journal. It’s probably still 99 percent blank to this day. Um … e-mail was good for us, because we could just be intentional about having those conversations when it was convenient for both of us. We did try some phone calls, but those were ss- worse than not having had the phone call at all for me.

Jim: In what way.

Jocelyn: The quality was so poor. There was a delay. There were also echoes, like ship echoes and-

Jim: Hm

Jocelyn: -people behind him. He was also still an XO-

Jim: Right.

Jocelyn: -at that moment. He was still in what I call “work mode.” And so, his – his words to me were very terse and short and to the point. It just didn’t feel very good.

Jim: Right.

Jocelyn: And so, we made the decision to just skip phone calls altogether because when I had the phone call, I thought now I’m gonna feel good, ‘cause now I’m connecting with him.

Jim: Oh.

Jocelyn: And I didn’t feel good.

John: Uh-huh

Jocelyn: I felt worse. So, I am not suggesting that people stop talking to your deployed spouse. I’m not suggesting that at all, but for me, it was better to just do it through e-mail, where we could be intentional with our words and do it when we felt like talking to each other.

Jim: Right. And … and that’s part of it, I would think, Gary, is identify how your communication styles fit with your love languages and see the best fit there.

Gary: Yeah and you know, ways of spending quality time when you are deployed are really important, particularly if one of you has that as your primary language. And yes, I think e-mails today can certain help. You know, we didn’t have that in World War II when my father was in the Navy. He wrote a letter to my mother whenever he could, my mother wrote a letter to him every day.

Jim: Ah.

Gary: Sometimes he got them three weeks all bundled together. You know, he was on a ship. Uh … but that was about all we had in those days. But now we do have e-mails. We do have Internet and it is a way of spending quality time even when you’re deployed.

Jim: I would think that’s one of the greatest things that you struggle with, because in your case, Jocelyn, your husband’s out to sea.

Jocelyn: Uh-hm.

Jim: Uh … you’re not out there. You don’t have the experience. You can’t talk about the beautiful sunrise that you saw over the Philippines or something like that.

Jocelyn: Right.

Jim: You’re distant from that. So, finding some common ground to–

Jocelyn: Definitely.

Jim: -really be able to communicate. In fact, there was an example of someone who used photos to communicate. They would take I think 10 pictures a day and send them to their spouse and they would talk about the pictures and what were, you know, kids were in ‘em, etc. Um, what are some clever ways that you can create that environment?

Jocelyn: Well, you can certainly do it with photos. You can do what Gary mentioned, go online and read an article. If you have a book, an e-book or a – a print book. You can read a chapter in that and discuss it. These are all things that are really helpful, because so many times the deployed spouse does not want to talk about what he or she has been doing during the day

John: Yeah, they’ve been in work mode so long.

Jocelyn: Right, or they’ve seen some things and they don’t want to share it with their spouse or they just need a break from that. And when I was the home front spouse, I felt like my life was a little on the dull side. And I did not want to spend all of our talking time with me saying, “Well, the washing machine broke and the dog is not doing well with his house training.” So, to have something else to talk about and to really go a little deeper is very helpful.

Jim: You know, we kinda smile at that, but you’re describing marriage. (Laughter) I mean, really, it, it’s true.

Jocelyn: Yeah.

Jim: And Gary, I want to ask you, because a lot of us just went, wow, that’s what our relationship, we’re not in the military, but that’s what our relationship is. My husband gets home from work and that’s what our conversation is. Speak to all of us in that regard. How do we ensure that our communication isn’t that simple, that it is just so perfunctory now, it’s did you mow the lawn? Yeah, I did. And that’s basically where you’re at. What’s for dinner? Meat loaf again and that’s where … you know, that’s kinda where the rela- what do we need to do to ensure that we keep it um … God-honoring?

Gary: You know, Jim, one of the things I’ve suggested for years to couples is that you share a book together.

Jim: Hm.

Gary: Each of you read the same chapter and on Friday night or Saturday, you spend a few minutes talking about what I learned out of this chapter. It brings in new ideas to each of you, but you’re both responding to the same ideas. And you both are gonna learn something different. Each of you will learn something different. But it gives you a topic to discuss with each other that you probably would not come up with on your own. If you read a book that has 10 chapters, you read a chapter a week, at the end of 10 weeks, the communication level in your relationship is gonna be greatly enhanced. If you didn’t read a book and you just discussed meat loaf (Laughter), the relationship is gonna be right where it was 10–

Jim: Well-

Gary: -weeks ago.

Jim: -it, it’ll be highly separate and that’s what so many of our relationships exhibit today. And again, whether it’s civilian or military, it’s accentuated in the military environment. Let me, let me ask this question. I mean, here at Focus on the Family, we’re all about marriage. We want to see marriages thrive, particularly in the Christian community. And I think as we look at where the world’s headed with more and more spiritual conflict, the ability for us to show what healthy, loving marriage looks like will actually be a great appeal to the unbeliever, because I think they’re gonna find less and less satisfaction in those relationships. Now that’s a bold and broad statement, but I think that could be a potential point of reaching people for Christ. Um, in the military again, is that applicable in Christian marriages in the military? Jocelyn, you lived it.

Jocelyn: Yes, definitely, definitely. And I think um, as we’re talking about quality time and how to do that and how it’s so difficult when there are deployments and separations that get in the way, another creative way to overcome that is to think about what activity your spouse might enjoy doing with you when he or she returns. If your spouse enjoys golf, take a few golf lessons. Give it …

Jim: What love language is that one? I, I, that’s my love language. (Laughter)

Jocelyn: Golf? Well, that could be quality time for one. If I were to take golf lessons, assuming my husband enjoys golf, which he doesn’t, um … that would be an act of service.

Jim: That would be.

Jocelyn: -wouldn’t it?

John: Hm … yes.

Jocelyn: But, and something that I did when he was apart, I knew that he really enjoyed volunteering at the nursing home. So, I did that in his absence-

Jim: Oh.

Jocelyn: -and so, then when he got home, we were able to volunteer at the nursing home together. We played Scrabble with the residents. We did karaoke with them. Not my thing. I’m an introvert. Maybe that was an act of service. But we were together and we were doing something that we felt was valuable.

Jim: Uh Gary, we talked about physical touch and Troy, my youngest being that, that kinda guy. And I see it. I see it so obviously. This has to be of the five love languages, I would think physical touch, just by its very nature when a spouse is deployed, it can’t happen. Um, how do they feed that primary love language of physical touch?

Gary: You would think it would be impossible, right?

Jim: Hm.

Gary: But it’s very interesting the things that we heard that couples have discovered. For example, one lady said to me, “My husband’s language is physical touch.” He was deployed. “I put my hand on a sheet of paper and I traced my hand and I mailed it to him with a note that said, ‘Put your hand on my hand. I want to hold your hand.’” And he told me later, “Dr. Chapman, when I put my hand on that paper, I felt her. I felt her.”

Jim: Oh.

Gary: It’s not literal touch; it’s emotional touch and that’s what we’re talkin’ about. Another husband said, uh … “My wife’s language is physical touch, so when I got ready to deploy, I said to her, ‘I’m gonna leave this jean jacket here in the closet. And when you want a hug, you put it on and I’ll hug you.

Jim: Oh, man.

Gary: And she said, “Every time I put it on, I felt his arms around me.” So, even if physical touch is your language, you can touch emotionally even when you’re deployed.

Jim: And that’s what’s happening. It’s something in the heart. It’s not-

Gary: Yeah, yeah.

Jim: -the act of, it’s what you’re experiencing in your heart and in your emotions.

Gary: Yeah.

Jim: That’s beautiful.

Gary: And we talked about such things as, another example was, a lady said, “I cut, when I cut my hair, instead of throwing it away, I put it in an envelope and I mailed it to him.”

Jim: Is that right? (Laughter)

Gary: “So, he’s touching a part of me.”

Jim: Man, it shows you the extent at which people miss each other. I mean, and that’s a beautiful thing, but it’s a difficult thing. Um … do you remember any particular moment, Jocelyn, when your husband was out and at sea and it was months and you were missing him?

Jocelyn: Oh, yes. I remember a very dark bleak day in November. Um, it may have been my birthday-

Jim: Oh.

Jocelyn: -and I really wanted him to tell me happy birthday and he didn’t have a chance to. I found out later that he had sent an e-mail, but because the ship didn’t have Internet connection where they were at the time, it got sent to me later. But I do remember. And of course, my bleak feelings were accentuated by the darkness of Alaska. So, we have to be aware of our surroundings. We have to make sure that we’re plugged in to community and, and I also had to give myself permission to just say, “This is a bad day. It’s one bad day.” It does not mean that our marriage is in trouble. It does not mean I’m slipping into depression, because I had been depressed years earlier and I was always afraid that that was gonna come back to haunt me. Um, but yes I remember that. But I do remember that there was an end to that day and that we can do things to get out of that.

Jim: It, um I appreciate that disclosure. I really do, because I think it helps a lot of us connect to the world you lived in at the time. Um, this is very thoughtful and very self-aware. Um, speak to the person that may not have that level of self-awareness. They’re in the military right now. Their spouse has been deployed. They’re over that edge of depression. They’re in it. What would you suggest some tools that they could use to get back to a healthy place?

Jocelyn: Well, the first thing is to be in community with other people. As I mentioned before, isolation breeds depression. So, even though the last thing you want is to be around other people, you have to do that. But-

Jim: Force yourself.

Jocelyn: Force yourself, but make sure that the people that you surround yourself with are healthy people, that will speak truth to you and love you. I’d also encourage you to write down all the thoughts that you’re having and take them captive to Christ. Which means, look at them and say, does this line up with Scripture? If it does not, throw it out. Now previously, I had gotten to a point where I needed more help than just praying harder, just going to church more. You know what I mean? I needed some counseling and some outside help and I got it. And I- the Lord healed me through that. But the biggest factor, the biggest aspect of my healing came from godly community.

Jim: Godly community.

Jocelyn: Yes.

Jim: That’s wonderfully said and that’s when it’s functioning in a healthy way-

Jocelyn: Yes.

Jim: -and working. I mean, that’s a beautiful picture that you paint. Um, as you did all the interviewing, what is something that jumps out to each of you that you heard with the military families that you interviewed?

Gary: I think one of the things that really stood out to me was the day I spent with those wives of those 20 Navy seals and just listening to them talk about what it was like to live with a husband who was in harm’s way and often they didn’t even know where they were or what was going on in their lives and listening to the pain and the hurt and seeing the faces of them. And yet, seeing the positive spirit that almost all of them had, that we’re here because this is our calling. This is our husband’s calling and we’re with him and, and they were committed to it. That just stands out emotionally in my mind, as the day I spent with them.

Jim: Uh, Jocelyn, I want to come and ask you that question as well. What stuck out in the research with the various couples?

Jocelyn: What really stood out to me was how hard some of these couples are working at keeping their marital connection alive, that emotional connection. So often in our culture, we have this certain idea of romance being the definition of love, with the roses and the chocolates and poetry. But when I hear from a couple where one of them has severe PTSD and I hear what they’re doing to overcome it, it really touches my heart.

For instance, an Army chaplain came home with PTSD, and his wife’s love language um, one of them is quality time. So they decided instead of having date night, they would have date day. They would go out for lunch, because there are more crowds in restaurants at night and that is not a good thing. It will be more likely to trigger-

Jim: Right.

Jocelyn: -someone with combat trauma. So they’re working at it that way. And this gentleman with PTSD knows that he wants to get something for his wife for Mother’s Day. And he’s got two little boys. And for him to take his two sons to the mall when everybody else is out there shopping for Mother’s Day gifts, that was a huge act of service for him to do that. And when she was able to get gifts from her husband and two sons on Mother’s Day and know what that put him through, to go into those crowds at his degree of PTSD, that is true love. That is a better picture of romance than anything you’ll see in Hollywood.

Jim: Well, and what’s so hard for us that have never been through that is to understand it. But you’ve described it so well. I mean that um, touches my heart, that a man would have to go through that, just to say I love you-

Jocelyn: Right

Jim: – to his wife. I mean, that’s, that’s what we don’t understand when you don’t go through it as a military serviceman.

Jocelyn: And he could’ve said, “You know I love you, Honey. It’s just too hard for me to go out there.” But he chose to speak her love language and I’m sure that that spoke to her for days, weeks, maybe longer.

John: Well that’s beautiful, Jocelyn, and I’m sure that those in our gallery outside of the studios here today who have served a tour of duty or two or multiple tours, can relate with that story. In fact, Jim as we did last time, we’re gonna open up for some questions from the military families who are here and have been listening in to the conversation. And they’ve each received a copy of The 5 Love Languages- Military Edition, and so after looking at that a little bit perhaps and listening along, I wonder if they have any questions.

Jim: Anyone have an example of where you reunified and there was some emotional tension in all of that, maybe beyond the chore list, but as your spouse and you reunified, there was tension? We have one couple kind of debating here I think.

John: (LAUGHING)

Joe: Good morning, uh, my name’s Joe. I’m an active duty officer. Uh, we just recently redeployed in October from a deployment. And because of some uh, reorganization within the Army, we’re deploying again possibly next year.

Jim: Hm.

Joe: Um, and the problem we see is, that not the deployment, because me and my wife have kind of, we have our systems in place. We know uh, how we’re gonna handle things. It’s coming back, having uh, the fifth baby due in July and a training tempo, which means I’m gone two to three weeks a month, from January into December and then uh, a deployment again.

So, really I guess what it, my question would be is, how do we identify that it’s not just the deployment, but the, the time in between where we- you anticipate, okay, I’m gonna have all this time home. And then you get home and don’t.

Jim: Yeah, it’s a great question, great question.

Joe: So much a question as it is a comment

Jim: That’s something most of us would not think about um, the fact that you’ve got those commitments to the military when you’re home-

Jocelyn: Right

Gary: Yeah

Jim: -and in that case, I mean, to be training two to three weeks a month, to be gone when you’re home. That’s not really feelin’ like you’re home.

Gary: Yeah. He’s still working full time when he’s at home, is the point he’s making. And for some, when that work requires him to be gone for two or three weeks a month while they’re home, it does pose another dynamic. Uh, I think it’s similar to what others would do who are working full-time, as well, and that is that we have to decide how we can speak each other’s language sufficiently, so that we both feel loved, even though his job is very demanding right now, even though he’s at home. And also with a new baby coming, that may mean talking about how can we get some relief when I’m not here for you, so that you’re not 24/7, you know, for a month at a time? Whom could we bring in that might help us with this? And this is where community becomes important because if you’re connected to a, a church community or a chapel community, sometimes they provide or help provide childcare for example, so a mother can have some free time to breathe, you know, and not sense that responsibility. So, I think working out all those dynamics uh, become really really important. But I think they can be worked out so that we both feel loved, even though it’s a stressful time and we don’t have much time together, we are speaking each other’s language. We’re staying connected and we’re figuring out how others may help us in this process.

Jim: And Gary, let me ask you this question uh, because you’re connected to your church there, Winston Salem, what can we do in a particular church to reach out to the military service men and women to help them?

Gary: Yeah, I think churches that are near military bases, many of them are doing wonderful things. Some of them are providing childcare, for example, a night a week in which they will have, you can bring your children to the church and leave them and you can go shopping or do whatever you want to do

Jim: That’s a great idea.

Gary: That’s a great help to those people. I think also, when there is sickness, many of those churches are moving in with meals, to help, help them even if the husband’s at home; they’re moving in to help with meals, which is always helpful. Uh, I think also, many churches are asking the spouse at home, you know, what can we do to help you? Or if you have problems with the washing machine or whatever, you know, here are some men in our church who are willing to help with that sort of thing, so that you don’t have to have the expense of calling in a professional to do it. So, I think those are the kind of things that churches that are near military bases can do. Now a lot of churches like mine, we’re not near a military base. But I think being aware and having a list, as it were of all the people in your church who are in the military and keeping up with these people, sending letters to them, having individuals in the church who are sending them gifts from time to time, particularly you know, homemade cookies and that sort of thing, or whatever else is needed. We have a group in our church, for example, that make cards that they send to the chaplains to be distributed to, to guys that he’s working with. So, those are the kind of things that I think churches can do. 

Jim: Hm. We’ve talked a lot, Gary about the five love languages, which the Lord uh, really gave to you many years ago and the way that it’s been applied here specifically with the military. I hope military families are listening. And I hope they’ll get a copy and I would love to offer the book for any donation, John. If someone, you know, if it’s just a dollar to cover the postage, that’s great. And uh, we want to make that available to people, so that it would help them to cope with their environment. Thank you so much for bein’ with us and for encouraging our military in this way. Thank you.

Gary: Thanks Jim, always good to be with you.

Jocelyn: Thank you for having us.

Closing: 

John: It really has been our pleasure, and it’s been time well spent the past couple of days. I think all of us have a greater appreciation after this for the unique circumstances and challenges that married couples in the military face. And I’d like to remind you as a listener, that Focus on the Family is here for you. Um, we’re listener supported, we’re grateful for your prayers and your financial support. Your pledge of a monthly donation allows us to plan and budget for programming to reach families with truths and answers for their difficult situations and everyday questions, and I’d like to encourage you to donate to the ministry today. It’s very easy, and uh you can do so at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or when you call 800-232-6459. 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. And, if you can make a monthly pledge of any amount today, we’ll say thanks by sending a complimentary copy of Dr. Chapman and Jocelyn Green’s book, The 5 Love Languages: Military Edition. And uh, perhaps you’re not in the spot to commit to a monthly amount, well that’s okay. Make a one- time gift of any amount, and we’ll say thanks by sending that book to you as well. Trusting you have a wonderful weekend, and that you can join us on Monday to hear from Pastor Ted Cunningham, he’s got some fun encouragement for every marriage, even if you’re not a perfect match.

Teaser:

Ted Cunningham: Here’s the bottom line, you will never find compatibility. You’ll never discover it. There’s not an algorithm in the world that can put you with someone compatible. Compatibility is something you choose. It’s something you create.

End of Teaser

 

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Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!