Custom CSS of Section contains Conditional Preview for See Life Campaign Elements

Share Your Story Header CTA is Shown by Optimize Experiment in FOTF Container

Focus on the Family Broadcast

Rethinking Your Parenting Strategies (Part 2 of 2)

Rethinking Your Parenting Strategies (Part 2 of 2)

Psychologist Michael Anderson and Dr. Timothy Johanson explain how many parents waste time and energy on parenting strategies that don't work, and offer practical suggestions for more effectively disciplining children and raising them to become well-adjusted adults. (Part 2 of 2) 
Original Air Date: May 11, 2016

Opening:

Excerpt:

Jim Daly: You have a kind of bucket list for children which are the difficult experiences you think they need to have in order to be ready for life. Now I gotta tell you as a parent, I’m thinking, I’ve got to keep them from difficult experiences, but what’s on that list?

Michael Anderson: Yeah, a lot of the things we instinctively try to keep our kids from are things they need to be ready for adulthood, ‘cause adulthood isn’t gonna be easy. Some of those things would be like not being invited to a birthday party. And we don’t need to jump in and try to get them invited or call the mom (Laughter). Those are experiences we need. The death of a pet or working hard on a paper and getting a poor grade or being fired from a job. It’s not always a bad thing for a young kid to be fired from a job, especially if they need to learn more responsibility. It might be the only thing that’ll get ‘em to take it seriously.

End of Excerpt

John Fuller: Well, that’s Michael Anderson. He’s a licensed psychologist and he’s one of the two guests we have on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly today. Timothy Johanson is a pediatrician. He’s also in the studio with us. Together these gentlemen speak. They write and they’ve got a great book called GIST: The Essence of Raising Life-Ready Kids and Jim, you hinted that. We try to protect our children so much from difficulty in life and the program we began last time, the conversation, it had a lot to do with kind of reframing my parental mind-set so I’m a little bit more inclined to let life teach my kids. But (Sigh) that’s so hard.

Jim: Well, it is and I think it’s counterintuitive to what we’re taught in this environment and this day and age about parenting, which is create boundaries; hold the line, which are important things. But what I love about what our guests are talkin’ about is think a little differently.

You know, those disappointments, as we just heard, actually will teach your kids responsibility and doing the right thing in a way that doesn’t force you to give up the relational equity that you have. And I’m hearin’ this as much as a dad as I think you are in the listenership.

John: And I hope you’ll call us if you missed last time. We’ve got a CD of that. We have the book, as well, Gist and we’d be happy to tell you more when you call 800-A-FAMILY.

And Jim, that quote, “bucket list” of things that kids need to experience, I mentioned this to my daughter last night (Laughter), my 16-year-old. I said, “Yeah, well, they … they said things like, you know, miss making the team and not getting invited to a birthday party and the death of a pet.” And she said, “Not the death of a pet!” (Laughter) “No, that’s too hard.” And I said, “I think that’s the point, is that you should experience those things when you’re in the home.”

Jim: Well, I … I mean, I gotta confess it, too, because I was here. Jean and I came to the office one evening. The boys were doing homework. The whole family was here. And Trent with his learner’s permit wanted to go out and drive in the parking lot. There’s nobody here. It’s like 7:30.

John: We have a pretty big parking lot here.

Jim: Yeah, it’s a big parking lot and … but Jean was just mortified at that and she said, “What if he hits something?” And I remember saying, “Yeah, so what? It’ll be, you know, like a light post or somethin’, be a dent in the bumper.” “How could you say that?” (Laughing) But it’s true; sometimes you need to let your kid just have a little accident. You don’t want ‘em to have a big accident, but it’s something they’ll remember the rest of their lives, isn’t it?

Dr. Timothy Johanson: I think that’s very true. We talk about allowing your kid to climb an apple tree, but you have to be willing to allow them to fall and break their arm.

Jim: Now that doesn’t sound right. Every mom just cringed. Why would you put your child in that kind of danger?

Timothy: Because they need to learn how to climb an apple tree, too.

John: And it’s not just moms. I remember, Jim, I’m a firstborn, so I … and I grew up. My dad was … was in management at a paper mill and so, safety was always, you know, in any manufacturing situation, safety’s a big deal.

Jim: Hard hats.

John: I was not in favor of the boys climbing trees and Dena was like, “Oh, what’s the worst that can happen?” So (Laughter)—

Jim: There you go.

John: –sometimes it’s us guys who are—

Jim: Shoe … yeah—

John: –more [cautious].

Jim: –shoes on the other foot. I like that.

Jim: Well, let me formally welcome you back to the program.

Timothy and Michael: Thank you.

Body:

Jim: I thought the last conversation was very interesting, engaging. As we talked about a moment ago, these things that cause us pain, that cause us suffering, I mean, the book of Romans right there, Paul says it, right–

Michael: Right.

Jim: –how these things help build our character.

Michael: And that’s just where it leads from. If you looked at Romans 5 backwards, you’d say, the goal is to have hope in adversity and where does that come from? Character. Where does that come from? Perseverance. And where does that come from? Suffering. So, suffering is the first step to getting towards what we all want, which is character and hope in adversity.

Jim: Michael, that … it’s laid out right in Scripture there but you know how foreign a concept that sounds to a Western ear—

Michael: Yeah.

Jim: –a Western listener? We’re trying to do everything we can to avoid the first step. We don’t want to suffer in any way. Our whole culture is built on reducing suffering and pain.

Michael: And what we’re learning is that it’s very dangerous to try to keep your child too safe.

Timothy: And I think that’s a really important thing for parents to hear, is that you cannot protect your kids from everything. You should not. You cannot create their path so that they don’t have any adversity or hardship. You shouldn’t, as a matter of fact. You need to allow them to make their mistakes, stumble and be alongside them to help them get up and teach them along the way that this is the nature of life.

Michael: The great lyricist and poet, Jackson Brown, put it this way. I just love this. He said, “I would keep her here if I were able to lock her safe behind an open door.”

Jim and John: Uh … hm.

Michael: And you can’t lock somebody safe behind an open door and that’s the dilemma that every parent faces.

Jim: Things are gonna happen and you need to be ready to respond with that.

Michael: Life is not gonna be easy. We … Tim and I talked, gave a talk about … a while back and just on the spur of the moment there were about 70 parents there, mostly between 40 and 60. And I asked, “How many of you[r] lives have gone harder than you thought they would go? And 90 percent of those parents raised their hand. And that was chilling to me and that’s the world we have to prepare our kids for. It’s, for most our kids, their life will be more difficult than they anticipate and it’s our job to get them resilient enough to face that.

Jim: Well, that’s a good term, that resiliency and when you’re parenting, that is what you want your children to walk away from their childhood with is, that resiliency to be able to endure.

Michael: Right and we don’t celebrate that enough.

Jim: We don’t—

Timothy: Right.

Jim: –not at all.

Michael: No, getting back up, you know, your kid writes half of an English paper on the computer and the power goes out and they lose the paper. The thing to applaud there is getting up and rewriting the paper. It doesn’t matter the grade.

Jim: Right.

Michael: It was the resiliency that we need to applaud.

Timothy: But a lot of parents participate in the “victimness” of that.

Jim: Explain that. What’s an illustration?

Timothy: If that would happen, the parents are gonna get all upset and mad and angry at the fact that they just spend two hours writing half a paper that’s been lost. But the parents need to think about this differently and say to themselves, “Hey, this could be on my child’s checklist to adulthood.”

John: But most parents, I’m guessing, most of our listeners are gonna be trying to figure out how to problem solve for that child. Okay, let’s see now; how can we do this? I’ve found myself doing this. Well, surely there’s a backup and we spend 15 minutes trying to see if there was an autosave somewhere. And eventually we get to the realization that there’s not. I’m guessin’ a lot of parents would say then, “Well, I’m gonna call the teacher and explain why my child doesn’t have the paper done.”

Timothy: And they shouldn’t.

John: Why … okay, they shouldn’t, why?

Timothy: Because the kid needs to understand that, you know, things like this happen in life and I need to now deal with it. I need not to complain about it and sit and mope about it or have an adult in my life feeling sorry for me. I need to do what needs to be done.

Jim: Well, and to that problem-solving energy, if we want to call it that, in fact, in GIST, your book, you talk about a child breaking a window and what happened in that context? I mean, that’s where I would jump in and call the neighbor and start—

Michael: Well—

Jim: –working it out.

Michael: –where solid parenting transfers into joy of parenting is when you get excited about watching how your kid’s gonna handle this. We just talked about a kid losing half an English paper. The instant that happens, to think this is gonna be amazing to watch how my boy handles this. And in the story you were talking about, a girl breaks the neighbor’s window and your first thought is, okay, how long’s it gonna take her to go ring the doorbell next door? What is my daughter and Mrs. Johnson gonna decide about the window? Who’s gonna pay for it? Who’s gonna fix it? And to discipline yourself to stay back until you need to step in.

Jim: That sounds so foreign to so many parents, but it’s a good thing to do. I get the outcome of it.

Michael: One of the tenets of our approach is to train yourself to step back and let things transpire a little bit.

Jim: That is …

Timothy: And then ask yourself, how is this gonna turn out? And just watch in wonder and amazement at—

Jim: That sounds—

Timothy: –what’s gonna happen.

Jim: –so easy, but I’m tellin’ ya, I can’t do it.

Michael: Is there anything I really need to do here?

John: Yeah, there are a lot of … okay, so Jim, you and I have had these conversations. I think our wives are wired kind of similarly. There’s a lot of projection about what could go wrong right here. So, you know, my child just broke a window. He or she won’t take responsibility for that and then, they’re gonna end up with further incursions into criminal behavior (Laughter) and so then, you know what’s gonna happen. We’re gonna be visiting our child in prison because they’re there and it’s all because—

Jim: ‘Cause window breaking.

John: –I didn’t step in and do something.

Michael: Right and you might need to step in. If the neighbor is very cantankerous, difficult, shaming, you might need to step in, but you don’t need to until you see how that’s going. There couldn’t be a better scenario than for her to knock on the neighbor’s door, for the neighbor to bring the child in, to look at the glass, to have a cookie and a cup of coffee and the two of them discuss how they’re gonna move ahead with this. That’s what we want. That’s what we’re looking for.

John: Hm.

Jim: Again, we’re runnin’ down this freeway called “parenting” and there’s this off ramp that you’re talkin’ about, which is the modern word would be “chill.” I mean, that’s what comes to my mind. It’s hard to get off on that off ramp though. (Laughter) I want to keep goin’ down the freeway to make sure that I do everything I can as a parent to create the environment for my child to thrive. But you’re saying that’s dangerous.

Michael: It is and we’ve gotten to know in the last year one … a dean of student[s] at Stanford University and she’s talked about how immature today’s freshmen are compared to 20 years ago.

Jim: Now that’s interesting ‘cause that’s an objective perspective. It’s happening and I’ve heard that from other college professors—

Michael: Right.

Jim: –as well.

Michael: And she’s—

Jim: And what …

Michael: –she’s been there 23 years and she said today’s freshmen are so far behind 20 years ago and part of that is from that mind-set that you’re talking about, is mom and dad are always gonna be involved. They’re gonna be there.

Timothy: Mom’s going to fix it.

John: Yeah.

Timothy: Parents really need to learn this issue of patience. It’s an underlying theme of this book.

Michael: And this is true.

Timothy: Back off; let it happen. Let life play itself out.

Michael: And this is really true at just about any age.

John: Yeah.

Jim & John: Hm.

John: Well, our guests on Focus on the Family today are Michael Anderson. He’s a licensed psychologist and Timothy Johanson. He’s a pediatrician and together these men are bringing some great biblical wisdom to the parenting journey and letting go, that’s so very difficult. But Jim, I remember a previous Focus on the Family radio program where we had some college presidents and one of them said something that I still remember. He said my biggest cha … one of my biggest challenges as a college president is dealing with kids who don’t know how to fail. They come to college and they struggle, because this is their first ever failure in life. And I think that’s what our guests are talkin’ about right here is, let your child fail before they get to college.

Michael: That’s right.

Jim: In your book, you also talk about the “What’s Next Principle.” Fill us in on what that means. What’s the “What’s Next Principle?”

Timothy: We call it, “What’s the Two Things.” That’s the name of the chapter and the two things really helps [sic] parents cone down just a couple of things that they’re gonna work on helping their kids learn about themselves, life, relationships, whatever that happens to be.

Jim: What’s an example of that?

Timothy: So, a 5-year-old needs to start maybe to learn how to load the dishwasher and how to pick up their room. Those are the two things that parents should put all their energies into until those things are mastered by that child.

Jim: What does mastering it look like? That when they’re asked to do it, they do it? Or they know Wednesday night, they load.

Timothy: Exactly, that they are self-regulated, that they are self-governed around the issue of doing what their responsibility is.

Jim: Okay, so over the course of what, 15 years (Laughing) you finally get ‘em in the right place?

John: You start at 5 and finish at 20. (Laughter)

Timothy: Well, once their two things are done, then you go on to the next two things—

Jim: Really?

Timothy: –and the next two things—

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: –and the next two things. And over 15, 18 years, you’ve clicked off hundreds of things, but you’re coning it down to a manageable job. Parents who try to change everything and I have a list as long as my arm with each of our three kids, what they need to learn next, but I can’t work on 50 things with three kids.

Jim: Yeah.

Michael: I have to cone down to two things. For one of our daughters, one of those two things right now is to teach her how to budget. That’s one of the big two things.

Jim: Yeah.

Michael: And that’s what we’re working on. We’ve been working on it for two months.

Jim: In the book, GIST, do you give age-appropriate two things to work on?

Timothy: Absolutely.

Jim: Is that connection there?

Timothy: Yep.

Jim: So, give us a snippet of that. You’ve got the 5-year-old loading the dishwasher. What should the 10-year-old be able to do?

Timothy: Well, let’s take a 15-year-old who is not getting his homework assignments in and not showing up at the time that he’s supposed to be home in the evening, that 11 o’clock curfew. Those are two big things, but parents should focus on those things and then, forget about his room being clean. Forget him about, you know, vacuuming this or taking the garbage out.

And Mike has a … some great scripting that he’s done with parents in what to say to your kid when you’re just working on two things. Mike, maybe you want to share that.

Michael: Well, yeah, one of the things that I found really troubling to me is how many kids even in their mid to late teens, mom or dad are still waking them up in the morning. So, I tell parents, it’s really hard for your child at 17 to feel like a young man, if he’s still getting up the same way he did when he was 4.

Jim: Huh.

Michael: And so, one of the two things I suggest for them is, that we’re gonna start next Monday. I always give them, tell the child a week from Monday or 10 days from now there’s gonna be a new policy, not starting now. (Laughter) Parents love starting now.

Jim: That’s a good rule. I’m laughing because that’s my default.

Timothy: And what … what I think a lot of parents find, is if they give that five, seven, 10 day-thing, sometimes it takes care of itself before you ever start–

Jim: Right.

Timothy: –because the kid knows that they’re gonna work on that.

Michael: So, you would say to a child, “Look, you’ve got about eight things you need to do around the house, but right now you’re behind in math and you’re not getting up on yourselves. We’re gonna focus all out attention on that. Those are the next two things you need to learn on your journey towards adulthood. And you’re … [it’s]still your job to unload the dishwasher or shovel the sidewalk or whatever it is, but we’re gonna back off on that, because we don’t want you to get confused about what we’re focusing on.

John: So, you’re saying, we’re gonna suspend all other things for right now for you as a child.

Michael: Suspe … not suspend them like you don’t need to do ‘em, but—

Jim: You–

Michael: –you don’t …

Jim: –don’t focus on ‘em.

Michael: We’re not gonna focus on ‘em because we don’t want you … one of your excuses to be, you expect so much of me. We’re expecting you to get all your math assignments in and get up on time for the next five weeks.

Jim: So what happens in the end? So, you do this two at a time, one at a time, maybe you can even squeeze three at a time occasionally, but what happens at the end? What’s the benefit? You think they’re—

Michael: Then you—

Jim: –getting it.

Michael: –then you say to your child, “I’m so proud of you. I just went online and checked and all your assignments are in and nine of the last 10 days, you got up on your own. And so, we’re gonna do this for one more week, then we’re gonna drop that off and maybe look for a couple other things for you to work on.”

Jim: (Laughing) Would you ever get the response, “It’s always another couple things, dad.”

Michael: Yeah.

Jim: “It never ends.”

Michael: Well, that’s a really … that’s a really good point and one of the … our parenting approach, we believe you have to convey that you’re for the kid. And if you don’t do that, you’re not gonna be able to pull it off. Too many kids that I see, see their parents in a … as an adversary.

Jim: Right.

Michael: And if you’re for them, you’ll structure your sentences like this, “Because I know how important it is for you to be caught up in math, I’m gonna back off on a couple other things to set you up for success.”

Jim: Hm. That … that is—

Timothy: That is really–

Jim: –really—

Timothy: –like grace.

Jim: –yeah, that—

Timothy: It does.

Jim: –really is important for us as parents to capture this topic here, this very thing, because again, I think our instincts are to drill in and be punitive, rather than to back up and reward on the small things that are going well, so that the child really, so that their sense of well-being and even healthy self-esteem spiritually speaking, I mean, good self-esteem, starts to develop, right?

Michael: Right and what I want parents to do is, to say to their child, “You know, you are just nailing fifth grade. I am so amazed at how you’re doing fifth grade. You’ve got great friends. You’ve got a great grade point. I’m gonna back off a little bit and give you some space.”

Michael: One of the biggest problems I see with kids is, when they’re making bad decisions, their life doesn’t go that much different[ly] than when they’re making good decisions.

John: Hm.

Michael: And we really need—

John: Because of us, as parents?

Timothy: It does.

Michael: –yeah. And it’s partly the culture and it’s partly the parents, but we have to make sure that a kid’s life goes radically different when they’re making bad decisions than good decisions. That’s how we learn. That’s the environment. I run into kids all the time that I’ll say to them in September, “How was your summer? Tell me about the best day of your summer.” And they’ll say, “Well, I went to a buddy’s cabin and we stole a boat and we did this.” And the very night that they made the most bad decisions is the night they had the most fun.” That’s a setup for poor learning.

Jim: Yeah.

Michael: And what I … I have … my wife and I had three kids of our own and 13 foster kids and what I always said is, I am not gonna sit back and let you fail, but if you are succeeding, I will cheer you on.

Timothy: Imagine a 10th grader who gets a message from their parents, “You are really doing well in school. You’re thriving in life. You’ve got great friends. We’re really enjoying watching you. And we don’t really have anything we can think of that we need to work on with you.”

Jim: Yeah. (Laughing)

Timothy: Can you imagine a 10th grader getting that message from their parents?

Jim: Yeah. Well, I … yeah, and I was gonna ask this. Sometimes siblings act differently, oftentimes.

Timothy: Oh, sure.

Jim: So, you may have a younger sibling that’s displaying greater responsibility than an older sibling.

Timothy: Right.

Jim: How do you manage that as a parent, to not go too far overboard in kind of coincidentally shaming the older one who’s not up to the task?

Timothy: Kind of indirectly.

Jim: Yeah, kind of indirectly shaming them.

Michael: I think if this is the call … the vocabulary of your home, the vocabulary of your home, they’re not gonna be confused. They’ll be used to that and you’ll say to this one, “Your weakness right now is responsibility, but you’re great socially. Your sister, on the other hand, is great responsibly, but she’s weak socially. So, we want her to have at least two friends over a month. And we want you to stay home and do your homework.”

Jim: (Chuckling) Right.

Michael: And … and don’t look at each other. The rules are different for everybody here.

Jim: Yeah and I really appreciate it, that encouragement you’re giving to parents and to me right now, so let’s talk about spiritual training of children, because this is an area where a lot of families can experience challenges. I’m thinkin’ about the teen years especially, probably ‘cause I’m living there, where going to church has become a bit of a struggle. They don’t always want to get up on Sunday.

Let’s say my teen boy or girl just doesn’t want to go. They find it boring or they lack the interest, whatever the excuse they may give. How do we re-energize them? How do we encourage them that this is somethin’ the family does. It’s important and we need to do it, just like we need to have dinner every night? What would you suggest?

Michael: Well, one of the things about that is that when we use as Christians modeling, Christian modeling as a parenting technique, we’re giving our kids a lot of ammunition they know how to hurt us. It’s almost like a cheat sheet on how to push our buttons.

Jim: Huh.

Michael: So, if they know that church is really important and how our family looks at our church is important and that we’re on the missions committee, they can refuse to go just to dig us back, you know. But every family has to decide that for themselves. What I would suggest when your kid’s in their late teens is, “I’m a reasonable person and because of that, one or maybe two Sundays a month you can stay home. But I’m still your parent and you’re still a minor and you can go to our church three times a month.

And you don’t have to believe what they say, but you have to be polite. You have to listen. You have to participate, but you’re getting to be close to adulthood, so what you believe is up to you. But I … you know, I’ve given my life to Christ. I believe it more than anything else. It’s my job to raise you and like it or not, that’s how I’m raising you.”

Jim: Yeah.

Timothy: And I think that brings in the Proverbs 22:6 really strongly. It’s been a very important verse for me as a dad. I desire nothing more tha[n] my three kids will all be believers in Jesus Christ and follow Him. And my wife would say the same thing.

But we also understand that kids and when they get to a certain age, their brains think differently. We did, too. We didn’t always think the same way as we think now. And parents need, especially Christian parents, need to be patient in the process of raising your kids the way they should go, in a biblical way, knowing full well that many of them, in fact, the majority will probably fall away from their faith in the teenage or early adulthood years.

But through prayer and through trusting God’s promise in this, know that they will come back and my wife and I have certainly experienced that with our kids.

Jim: And most importantly, we’ve touched on it, that good modeling that they can see faith in action in you as mom and dad, that’s not disconnected. They’re not seeing you act differently than what you tell them to act like.

Timothy: Right and the transparency of the discussions are so important. There were … there was a time where one of our children, if we would even bring up anything in faith, you know faith-related question, she just couldn’t hear it. She couldn’t listen to it. She was in a really tough phase of her life. She had some woundedness from some decisions she’d made and it was so hard for both my wife and I, especially my wife, to just let that go for a couple of years. And now she has come back full circle and is a completely devoted follower to Jesus—

Jim: Wow.

Timothy: –and is on fire where she’s at.

Jim: Well—

Timothy: It’s just wonderful.

Jim: –and that’s a great place to end, because that in essence, is the whole story, that they end up in the place they need to be. And as parents, that’s what we want ultimately. The journey may be all over the place, but we want to …

Michael: I’m not sure why, but it seems sometimes deeper faith follows when camp faith or Sunday school faith fails. It … there has to be … that child-like faith has to dissipate and come back as an adult, mature faith.

Jim: And sometimes the wilderness is what happens.

Michael: And we hate to see that as parents. It’s hard to watch.

Timothy: Yeah, we call it a collision at our house when our kids have had collisions of their faith with life and what life has dealt them. That’s when things really change and it becomes internalized and it’s their faith, not our faith. They own it.

Jim: Yeah. At that point …

Timothy: And that’s a joyous time for my wife and I, when we’ve seen that happen.

Jim: Well, that’s great. Michael Anderson and Dr. Timothy Johanson, authors of the book, GIST: The Essence of Raising Life-Ready Kids, great to have you with us.

Michael: Great to be here.

Timothy: Thank you.

John: And that’s how we concluded this 2-day conversation with our guests. And please make sure you get in touch to get a copy of their book, GIST, our number is 800 – the letter “A” and the word – FAMILY. 800-232-6459 or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Closing:

Jim: I hope you appreciated the insights that Michael and Tim shared with us today and last time. There were so many good things and as parents, we really need to get behind the eyes of our children to understand what they’re thinking and what they’re feeling. Especially when there’s conflict or a problem where we’re more likely to react than look for a better way to respond.

And let me add, if you’re facing a parenting challenge like we’ve described today, whether it’s a discipline issue or something more painful — like a prodigal child — I hope you’ll contact us here at Focus on the Family.

We want to be your “go-to” resource for advice and encouragement. We have lots of tools for you — like our team of Christian counselors, or the free parenting survey we have at our website. And broadcasts like this one, and resources like the GIST book that we’ve talked about today.

We’re here to help you any way we can. And I’d like to put a copy of this book, GIST, into your hands when you send a gift of any amount to Focus on the Family today. That’s our way of saying “thank you” for partnering with us to strengthen today’s families.

John: I hope you’ll make a monthly pledge to this family ministry — that will help us better prepare for the tens of thousands of parents who will contact us in the months to come. But even a one-time gift can be so helpful. And we really appreciate your generosity.

Donate at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast, or when you call 800 the letter – “A”- and the word FAMILY.

Coming up next time on this broadcast, why Gary Thomas wants to protect Christians from toxic people!

Teaser:

Gary Thomas: But when I realized that Jesus was willing to walk away and let other people walk away, it changed my life. And I could see Jesus letting toxic or close-minded people go and then investing in the reliable people – his disciples.

End of Teaser

Today's Guests

Book Cover: GIST: The Essence of Raising Life-Ready Kids

GIST: The Essence of Raising Life-Ready Kids

Receive the book GIST for your donation of any amount! Plus, receive member-exclusive benefits when you make a recurring gift today. Your monthly support helps families thrive.

Recent Episodes

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Abortion Pill Reversal

Rebekah Buell Hagan shares her powerful story of pursuing a chemically-induced abortion and then experiencing a change of heart which led to saving her baby’s life. Dr. Bill Lile, a pro-life OB/GYN, explains how the abortion pill works, how its effects may be reversed, and how this option is being provided to women and teen girls who have second thoughts about having an abortion.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Living For an Audience of One (Part 2 of 2)

Karen Ehman’s journey as a recovering people-pleaser began when she realized she was seeking others’ approval more than God’s. In this conversation, Karen shares practical guidance on healthy boundaries and encourages you to serve God intentionally in the areas he’s called you to serve.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Living For an Audience of One (Part 1 of 2)

Karen Ehman’s journey as a recovering people-pleaser began when she realized she was seeking others’ approval more than God’s. In this conversation, Karen shares practical guidance on healthy boundaries and encourages you to serve God intentionally in the areas he’s called you to serve.

You May Also Like

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

A Legacy of Music and Trusting the Lord

Popular Christian vocalist Larnelle Harris reflects on his five-decade music career, sharing the valuable life lessons he’s learned about putting his family first, allowing God to redeem a troubled past, recognizing those who’ve sacrificed for his benefit, and faithfully adhering to biblical principles amidst all the opportunities that have come his way.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Accepting Your Imperfect Life

Amy Carroll shares how her perfectionism led to her being discontent in her marriage for over a decade, how she learned to find value in who Christ is, not in what she does, and practical ways everyone can accept the messiness of marriage and of life.

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Avoiding Shame-Based Parenting

Psychologist Dr. Kelly Flanagan discusses the origins of shame, the search for self-worth in all the wrong places, and the importance of extending grace to ourselves. He also explains how parents can help their kids find their own sense of self-worth, belonging and purpose.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video about see life episode 4 normal version

Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video about see life episode 5 normal version

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!