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Returning to a Godly Perspective on Sex and Romance (Part 2 of 2)

Returning to a Godly Perspective on Sex and Romance (Part 2 of 2)

Author Levi Lusko explores the challenges Christian families face in today's hyper-sexualized culture in which digital technology has made it easier than ever for young people to "hook up" and trade their future health and emotions for momentary pleasure. He offers encouragement to those who've been hurt by past mistakes and advice for how we can protect ourselves from temptation and compromise. (Part 2 of 2)
Original Air Date: November 8, 2017

John Fuller: Today on Focus on the Family, we’ll address some of the challenges that you and your children will face, or perhaps are already facing, navigating sexuality and purity in today’s ‘anything goes’ culture. And obviously as we tackle this topic, the conversation won’t be appropriate for younger children.

Excerpt:

Pastor Levi Lusko: Relationships and dating and sexuality is being brought into a mobile experience where many, many, many young people in big cities like Los Angeles or New York are using the app to facilitate a quick hookup. They’re not using it to date as much or get a boyfriend or girlfriend but just to find someone to have sex with for the evening. And then, in the words of one user, that the Vanity Fair article I read about it that kind of opened my eyes to it said he said people are looking for this app to help them “hit it and quit it.”

End of Excerpt

John: Pastor Levi Lusko is back with us today on Focus on the Family and your host is Focus president and author Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller. 

Jim Daly: John, we had a difficult, but really good, solid conversation last time with Pastor Lusko. And I would encourage you to get a copy of the CD or download the phone app, the smartphone app. And you can listen to it that way.

But it had so much meat in it about how to look at these things, human sexuality in our own lives, as a parent of young teens perhaps. But these are important subjects that we need to talk about within the Body of Christ. We tend to shy away from it, which is so, uh, harmful I believe. And I know if you’re listening now, you’re saying, man, you really wanna cover this? Yes, we do because we’re kind of tired. I’m kind of tired of giving it over to the enemy of our souls. And we need to talk about God’s design for human sexuality. We need to put out there for our young people a purpose in what God has put together. And that’s why we’re doing the program. Get a copy of the conversation last time.

In fact, we talked about how sex has become so devalued in our culture today and the dangers of pursuing pleasure at the expense of everything else. And our kids and, if I could be bold enough, ourselves – we are inundated with sexual temptation. We’re inundated with sexual images. It is so, uh, rampant in the culture. It’s hard to look away. And we have – as the Christian community, we’ve got to do the job of being equipped to manage this in our hearts and in our minds.

John: I appreciated, as well, something that Levi did yesterday in our conversation and that was very vulnerable and transparent. We’ve got to have that level of authenticity…

Jim: Yeah.

John: …In our walks to be able to say to each other and to our kids, I’m not perfect in this. I’m making progress. I’ll never be perfect this side of heaven.

Get a copy, uh, of the broadcast, as Jim said. But also get a copy of Levi Lusko’s book Swipe Right: The Life-and-Death Power of Sex and Romance. We’ve got the – the help for you, personally and as a parent, at focusonthefamily.com/radio or when you call 800-A-FAMILY. 

Jim: Levi, we covered this last time. But for those that are joining for the first time, the swipe right analogy in the title of the book refers to Tinder or those type of apps.

Levi: Yeah.

Jim: Explain it because I didn’t even know it. I mean, this is sad. I should know.

Levi: It’s amazing to think of what’s – how – just how quickly life’s changing. When I was a kid, Blockbuster video on Friday night…

Jim: (Laughter) Right?

Levi: You go walk in. You rent a movie. You rewind it. You return it.

John: And make sure it’s not late. (Laughter)

Levi: Or you pay the fine. Yeah, right. So just how much stuff is changing. And dating is changing as well. It started with, of course, the online website where you’d meet people that way. Now, it’s all become a mobile app. And you could virtually fire up in any city in America one of these apps, like Tinder, and find someone looking for a casual encounter by night’s end.

And many young people in our culture today are using these apps. They’re – they’re foregoing relationships. So, I’m 20. I’m 30. I’m a graphic designer. I don’t want a relationship. I don’t want a boyfriend or girlfriend. But I want to have sex. So, I’ll use this app. And it makes the experience of having sex with a stranger as easy as ordering an Uber. And this is what’s happening with sex in our day. It’s become a mobile thing.

Jim: Why do we run to that ledge so quickly? Why do we not have the sensibility to hold back and say, what is being done to us here? Why are they capitalizing on my visceral, kind of deep appetite?

Levi: Well, I think because it feels good in the moment. And I think we are an instant-gratification-obsessed culture. Everything faster. Amazon Prime takes too long, you know. (Laughter) And so I think we’re hoping for what we want right now. We don’t want to wait. We want to use a credit card to get what our parents could afford. You know, and now – and now, we’re applying that to sexuality as well.

And so, we’re not heeding the Biblical wisdom that, you know, really – what feels good in the moment is like the sowing of a seed. But whatever you sow, the same you’re going to reap. And Scripture says you have to lug what you load. And so, what I want to tell people is protect your future by living carefully right now.

John: Hm.

Jim: You have to lug what you load (laughter).

Levi: That’s exactly right.

Jim: I mean, that’s a great message.

Levi: Well, you think about that old tradition of hope chests is a beautiful thought. Parents would carve out a box for their daughter and pack it full of dishes and, you know, towels and linens. And it would kind of be this conversation, like this is going to be a blessing to you and your marriage one day. Well, the truth is all of us are packing a box that’s going to sit at the foot of our bed one day. We’re just not all going to like what’s in there because we’re going to bring our pornography addiction. We’re going to bring our bad habits. We’re going to bring our laziness into our marriage. And it’s gonna haunt us.

And so, I think we have to just realize that you don’t get a pass on what you do when you’re young. People say oh, just get it all out of your system. I’ll meet young people – their parents even tell them, you know, get it all out of your system – you know, the bachelor party, kind of like, you know, sow your wild oats. But the truth is, you don’t get things out of your system by doing them. You get them into your system. And they’ll be there in your system down the road to haunt you or to help you, depending on whether you live wisely or foolishly today.

Jim: Yeah, and that wise and foolish contest, if I could say it that way, we need to be equipped. We need instrumentation. In fact, you mention in the book a great analogy about the death of Kennedy Jr., JFK’s son.

Levi: That’s right.

Jim: And he died in a plane crash. Explain how you pulled that out of the…

Levi: Yeah, well, John F. Kennedy Jr. was not instrument rated. And he was flying a Piper Saratoga aircraft with his wife and his sister-in-law to Martha’s Vineyard. And as he took off, there was a haze. And they say that at a certain point, it becomes very difficult to get your sense of up and down…

Jim: Visual.

Levi: …Where there is no visual horizon. And so, as he was flying, he would have become, at some point, confused to where up felt like down and down felt like up. The – we know that when they finally found his plane in the bottom of the ocean, he was still strapped into his seat. And he had never issued an emergency call. So likely, he hit the water thinking he was pulling up and never knew what was going wrong until he was dead. He never was worried, in other words. He died calm because he was confused. He didn’t know how to trust his instruments. His aircraft had instruments that could have kept that from happening. But he didn’t know how to use them when it counted because he wasn’t instrument rated.

And I think a lot of us, we trust our feelings. But our feelings can lead us into disaster because the Bible says our hearts are deceitful and desperately wicked. Who can know it? And we’ve all seen that person dating that guy. And we’re like, the – he’s no good for you. Why don’t you see it? They don’t see it because they’re trusting their feelings. And when you have sex, it binds and blinds. It binds and blinds, meaning it binds you to them. The Bible says the two become one. There’s more to sex than mere skin on skin. So, there’s a…

Jim: Well, and to add to that, just – I mean, again, the physiology – it is a – there’s a bonding hormone that occurs, especially for women.

Levi: Serotonin, the happy hormone and gets released, yeah.

Jim: Yeah, it – you make that analogy of the sticky note.

Levi: Yup.

Jim: Explain that because it’s so good.

Levi: Yeah, well, the more times you stick a sticky note, the less sticky it becomes. And I think sex is that way. You know, God didn’t give us these rules to, like, ruin our fun. The devil loves to run it up the flag like, sex is my idea. You know, it’s like – God’s like I’ve got the patent for that on my wall in my office. (Laughter) You know, He invented it. And so, he knows how to use it.

We – it’s funny to me. People have an attitude when they hear of God’s plan for sex, which is one man, one woman, one lifetime. Therefore, a man shall leave his father and mother, be joined to his wife, the two shall become one flesh. That’s a statement on sexuality so short you could tweet the thing. But there’s so much in it. That’s the marriage bed. That’s the arena in which God wants sex to be contained not because he doesn’t want us to have fun but because he does. OK? So, what happens is we turn from there. And we start using sex with everybody – strangers, through pornography, random person I met on Tinder, guy I met at the club, coworker, whatever. Now, all of a sudden, we’re gluing ourselves to person after person, like the sticky note. The more times you stick yourself, the less sticky it’s going to become. Soon, it can become difficult to achieve that lasting, meaningful bond that God wanted you to have because you’ve become numb on the inside.

Jim: Man, I – I can feel people going, I am experiencing that. What you’re saying, Levi, is exactly where I’m at in my life.

Levi: Sure.

Jim: I mean, I’ve been through four, five, six, 10 guys. And it’s leaving me desperate. It’s not fulfilling.

Levi: Well, one – one director of a sex addiction center – he – he noted on the advent of Tinder and how people are now having a turnstile approach to sexuality. He said it wears down the parts of you on the inside that hope to achieve a meaningful relationship.

And really, that’s what the Bible tells us. You know, sin isn’t bad because it’s forbidden. God forbid it because it’s bad. He doesn’t want us to harm ourselves. Someone said every time God says don’t, you can finish it this way, don’t hurt yourself. And that’s why he gave us these rules. He doesn’t want you to, you know, be in a marriage bed filled with all of these previous partners in your mind and, you know, racked with all these thoughts and STDs. And he has our best interests at heart.

Jim: You know, Levi, I was, uh, at a book signing. And I was speaking to maybe 50 or 70 people. And there was a homosexual man in the audience. And he put his hand up. And he said when are you Christians going to get over your archaic understanding of human sexuality? It’s like you’re living in the 15th century.

Levi: Sure.

Jim: We’re in the 21st century. Why don’t you catch up to speed? And I smiled. And I said, you know, it’s great that you want to make me the editor of the book. I’m just a follower. And I fail at times in following the book. But it’s not up to me to edit the book. God has crafted this as guidelines, as you said, as the rules to live by for our blessing, not to curse us…

Levi: Yeah.

Jim: …But to help us live a fulfilled and wonderful life. How would you answer that person with what you know now and what you’ve gone through personally? Why don’t you just get caught up with the 21st century? Tinder is the way it is, Levi, I mean, even for the church. Come on.

Levi: Yep, well, I think first of all, you responded so well in the moment with kindness. And – but to say, with all due respect, I’m just delivering the message He gave to us. And who are we to change it? It’s not loving. It seems loving to do that. But it’s actually unloving. But I think when we look at our culture, the data does not point to our culture’s approach, to the instant gratification as being life-giving. You look at the higher rate of STDs. They say that 40 years ago, doctors only needed to know how to treat two STDs. Now, 25 they need to know because they’re commonly seeing.

John: Hm.

Jim: Think about it.

Levi: One out of four teenage girls has an STD. Look at sexual assault. It’s now estimated that 20 percent of college coeds, by the time they get out of college, will have experienced sexual assault.

Jim: Twenty percent.

Levi: Just think about this. That’s one out of five. When you look at the approach that says do whatever you feel like doing and it’s kind of like we said, a secular, humanistic approach, where whatever I feel like. It’s not Thy will be done. It’s my will be done.

Why are we surprised that that eventually, ultimately carried out to its highest, you know, ultimate expression leads to people taking advantage of other people?

In the animal world, one shark takes another shark. One bear takes another bear. No one flinches. I think we know more because we’ve been given more. We’ve been made in the image of God. So, when we see in, you know, 2 Samuel 13, Tamar raped by her brother, we’re appalled because we know that’s wrong. But ultimately, he was just doing what felt good in the moment.

Jim: Right, he was living out Darwin’s theory, right?

Levi: At the end of the day.

Jim: The – you mentioned the animal kingdom. So much of what God has created is a metaphor or a – or a point of training for us, isn’t it? You pull that point out in your book when it comes to sharks and your fascination with Discovery Channel.

Levi: Yeah.

Jim: You probably watch Shark Week like my boys and I love to do…

Levi: Oh, I love it.

Jim: …Because it’s just – you know, that’s guys’ TV right there!

Levi: Yeah.

Jim: But you were captivated about the shark and their mating habits.

Levi: Absolutely.

Jim: What was it?

Levi: I was watching this, uh, show about great white sharks breeding. And they showed a female great white shark. And they said, we know it’s a female. I was like, how do they know that? They all look the same to me, you know. And – and they said because their side is riddled with scars.

And that’s how the male shark holds on. He has to hold on somehow. So, he bites her on the side while he mates with her. And then he said the presence of scars means there’s been sex. And when I heard that, it just chilled me because I – that phrase, sex means scars. So often when we approach sexuality in the context that God did not tell us to, it leads to scars, the scars of heartbreak, the scars of abortion, the scars of – of – of STDs, of divorce.

We see scars – I think of people in my own life, those who – you know, the young person who sent sexually explicit pictures. And they got around the school. The person who cheated on his wife and it devastated both families. Sex means scars. And that’s why God intends something so much more for us.

Jim: Yeah.

John: And if what Levi’s talking about right now is really connecting with your heart and you’re thinking, I am scarred. I need help, give us a call here at Focus on the Family. We have trained Christian counselors. And they would be happy to have an initial consultation with you and one of our team members will get your name and number and have them call back just as soon as they can. Our number is 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY. Online, you can find help and Levi’s book Swipe Right at focusonthefamily.com/radio.

Jim: Levi, again, I so appreciate you coming to the – the studio and just illuminating for us, enlightening us about the topic. And I’m guilty of it. You know, I’m busy. And we cover a lot of this in our parenting, Jean and I. But to really know it is where you get credibility with your teenagers (laughter). You know, when you can talk in a way that they know that you know what their friends are facing, maybe what they’re facing. And I just – again, appreciate the boldness and the vulnerability that you’ve shown in your own addictions as a teenager, what God has led you through. And I love the fact that you embrace it as, um, you know, that pain being part of your passion, part of your platform.

Levi: Sure.

Jim: And you’ve done that so well. In Swipe Right, you mention a Stanford University study about the arousal addiction. Explain to us what – what you saw in that study.

Levi: Well, basically, there’s what they call “The Demise of Guys” happening in our day. I originally came across it in a CNN article. And it was literally called “The Demise of Guys.” I clicked it, of course. And they basically said in every regard, young men are doing worse than young women in our culture today. That’s just a fact…

Jim: So true.

Levi: …In every way, graduating high school, health, all of it.

Jim: College, grad school.

Levi: So, they point to, the Stanford study you mentioned, videogames and pornography as the two most likely culprits as those are, in their words, rewiring the brains of young men in our day, causing what they are dubbing an arousal addiction. Traditional drugs, you need more of the same. If I’m high on coke, I need more coke next time – the law of diminishing returns. With pornography and videogames, it’s more of the different, meaning I can’t just see more of the same. I need to see something new, a new scenario. And oftentimes, it gets darker. It gets more twisted, fetishes, etc.

I’m really disturbed. I recently just came – and I didn’t get to write about this in Swipe Right because it’s always evolving – there’s now these things out there called fan fiction, where they – basically, young kids that like books even – and it’s often young women who like a certain kind of Lord of the Rings book or Harry Potter, where were they write twisted versions of that book with pornographic details inside of them, basically erotic literature, which is – they call it ‘mommy porn.’ And it’s something like half of all paperback books sold is – is romance novels.

But it’s these very steamy scenarios. And they’re getting young girls hooked on this stuff even at a young age. But all that to say, I wrote this book so parents could transform that awkward sex talk that’s so clumsy into an ongoing dialogue that would lead to wide – wise choices.

Because we need to talk to our kids, not just “no” to pornography. Here’s why. Here’s what that will do to you. Here’s – here’s how that will cause your brain to need more. And eventually it causes you to be unable to perform sexually. The young men – Time magazine did an article about it – in our culture who are the most addicted to porn perform sexually the worst.

Jim: Right.

Levi: They’re unable to please their partner. And they’re actually, in some cases, unable to even get aroused with a real person there…

Jim: Yeah.

Levi: …Because they need a scenario that they now have worked their brain up to.

Jim: Levi, I love your animal analogies. And again, I think God puts that on display for us. And you have pulled it out in Swipe Right – I mean, the shark catch, (laughter) you might say. And then you also observe that idea between cheetahs and gazelles.

Levi: Yeah, I had the chance to go to South Africa. And I learned that cheetahs, they have the ability to run only until their brain hits 105 degrees.

Jim: Isn’t that something?

Levi: At 105, they either stop and pant, which is the mechanism that cools the brain. Or they will die. So, if they keep running, they’re going to die. But gazelles often elude the cheetah because they have a special compartment of air that cools any air coming to the brain. So, their brain can be at 109 but the cooling brings it down to 105. So, their body can be hotter than their brain is…

Jim: Right.

Levi: …Basically. So, they get that extra four degrees. So, they literally will prevail if they have a cooler head.

And so, in the book, I talk about how we should fight to limit our access to things that get our blood pumping, things that make it more difficult. Second Timothy 2:22 says flee also youthful lust. So, I think what we should do is when we get into a scenario when we’re seeing something that would make temptation harder, like David when he saw Bathsheba, he should have bolted. We should fight to keep our head cool because once all the blood is pumping, it’s more difficult to do a righteous thing.

Jim: Yeah, in fact, Genesis 39, you talk about Joseph in his situation. Explain it.

Levi: Yeah, here’s Potiphar’s wife. And she’s like, hey, let’s have sex. And Joseph, who had had a bad life by the way, if…

Jim: Yeah.

Levi: …He could’ve said you know what, God? You haven’t – you weren’t there for me. I didn’t deserve this.

Jim: He was basically sold into slavery by his brothers.

Levi: Let’s go. Hey, this is a gift. Thank you. But no, he chose to remember that God was there. And he pulled God’s presence in. And I think one of the most powerful things that you can do as a listener every day is to remember that God’s with you, everywhere you go. Psalm 139 says there’s nowhere you can go that he’s not. So whenever you tempted, just remember – and even whisper to him. I know that you’re here. And when you remember God’s presence, it’ll give you a new power.

Jim: Yeah, let’s keep with the biblical theme. Samson is another example you use in the book. How does that apply to our sexual appetites?

Levi: Well, Samson is a – an example I think of what is so true that your desires can keep you from your destiny — that you can have a strong desire in a moment. And he gave up so much of his power that he had because of his desire. And he ends up getting his eyes poked out, his hair cut, his strength gets taken away. But what I love so much is Judges 16:22, that says but before long, Samson’s hair began to grow back again.

And I think for the listener who feels so discouraged because you’ve given up so much. Maybe it costs you your marriage, the respect to your children, maybe your job, you know, the Ashley Madison scandal. You can – it’s so easy to make mistakes that have long-term impact. But I love that Samson teaches us that redemption can still come. You know, Samson’s most powerful ministry took place after his biggest failure.

Jim: Huh.

Levi: And so, no matter what you’ve done, you can begin to see God grow something new. It might be a little stubble on your scalp. But before long, it will be getting longer and longer and so will your strength.

Jim: Levi, there’s so much brokenness that comes in this area of sexuality for us as human beings, if you’re 14, 15, 16 years old, or you’re 50, 55, 70 years old.

John: Sure.

Jim: It can be painful. It can be harmful. Where do we get a bearing? I mean, we’ve been talking about it for two days now. But where can we go? I’ve heard you, Levi. I’m broken in this area. This has been the struggle of my lifetime. I don’t know what to do. Everything – it’s like a diet thing. It’s not worked for me. You know, I’ve done it all. I’ve exercised, but I – I’m just not losing weight.

Levi: Yup.

Jim: I’m just not losing that appetite sexually. I still have it. I still have that desire to look at things I shouldn’t look at.

Levi: Sure.

Jim: Maybe the affair I’ve had that nobody knows about – whatever it might be. Speak to the person who is still struggling. And they’re crying out to you, what can I do?

Levi: Yep.

Jim: I wanna honor God.

Levi: Yep.

Jim: But I’m not getting there.

Levi: Yep, I think first of all, we have to go to the cross. It’s not going to come in our own power. The Bible says, not by might, not by power, but by my Spirit, says the Lord. So, when we go back to the cross and we let the gospel be lived out anew, we have that resurrection power that the Holy Spirit gives to us. And then I think it’s God’s people. So not only going to God for the power, but also going to God’s people for the healing. The Bible says, if you confess your sins to God, you’ll be forgiven and to people, you’ll be healed.

Jim: OK, now speak to us as those people. What do we need to do to equip…

Levi: I think…

Jim: …And to come alongside people?

Levi: Speaking to your pastor, speaking to your small group leader, getting an army of people around you who are making the right decisions that you are. Life begets life, and darkness begets darkness. So, you can’t outlive your friends, so getting the right relationships in your life.

I would say a season, maybe even of separation, where you’re not dating at all, where you can really just focus on God and have that kind of hard reset inside your soul. Take drastic action. If it’s cable, if it’s Internet, be crazy. You know, sin wants to do something crazy to you. So, do something crazy to your sin. Jesus said chop your hand off. Man, cut that eye out. I – I’m saying, like, if you need to have a season where you have a dumb phone for a while, fine, have a dumb phone. You know, make – take drastic action because life is short. In just a moment, we’re going to be standing before God in heaven, receiving rewards for the deeds done in the body. And I would say life is far too short to live in a way where we’re hamstringed by sin.

John: Hm.

Jim: And, Levi, with that pain point that you’re talking about that you went through as a teenager addicted to pornography. And now it’s your mission, it’s your calling to help people out of that pit. Where’s that point of pain – I’m sure it’s different for every human being – where the pain is now greater, um, than the pleasure? Have you seen that in your counseling?

Levi: Absolutely.

Jim: And – and what can you say to that person, maybe – I’m still enjoying it. The pleasure is there. I know I shouldn’t be. Where does that equilibrium come where I now am feeling like it’s beyond good? It’s – it’s – it’s not good for me, and I’m recognizing that.

Levi: Well, I think when you take it to its ultimate extreme, you have to look at what sin wants to do to you. Sin will thrill you so it can kill you. It will fascinate you so it can assassinate you. And that transition will always come while you’re hypnotized.

And so, I think you want to make that shift far before you realize it’s too late. Look at the Proverbs. He follows her like a sheep towards the slaughterhouse, not knowing till the arrow pierces his liver. You know, all of her guests end up in hell. I think when we realize this is what sin’s agenda is – the devil does not have a plan to give you slightly worse of a life than God does. He wants to kill you and destroy you. He’s playing for keeps.

So, I – if you’re toying with sin, it’s going to get its foot in the door so it can get in the door all of the way. And so, when you sow that thought, you reaped the action. Sow the action, reap the habit. Sow the habit, reap the character. Sow the character, reap a destiny. So, I think you don’t – don’t play with fire. It will burn your house down. Instead, let the fire stay in the fireplace where God wanted it to be. And it will heat your life up.

Jim: I love that. Um, let’s end with this one cause it’s – it’s insightful, and it’s fun. But you mentioned in your book, Swipe Right this idea of being the snakebird. (Laughter) Yeah. I love it.

Levi: You know what, I love it – I love it.

Jim: My boys are going to love this, I’m telling you. Let’s talk about being a snakebird.

Levi: Matthew 10:16, Jesus said, behold I send you out, as sheep in the midst of wolves. So be as cunning as a serpent, but as harmless as a dove. So, he said, basically, if you’re going to try and be pure in a world full of the Internet, you’re going to try and date righteously in a world full of Tinder, then you know what, you have to know there’s wolves out there. And as college students, as young adults, you’re in the midst of wolves, so you need to be a little bit like a snake and a little bit like a bird. And I think what that means is, trust God but don’t be stupid… (Laughter)

Jim: Yeah, that’s well said.

Levi: You know, yes, pray, but also have a plan, you know? So, I talked to a guy and he’s like, my girlfriend and I slept together again. I’m like, well, tell me about it. Well, we were praying. Well, where were you? Well, we were in her bedroom. I was like, hey, listen, there’s two things that happen in a bed – sleeping and what you did. What do you think’s going to happen?

You know, this advice applies to all of life. I’m praying for a job. Did you apply? You know, I’m praying for a wife. Did you brush your teeth? I think we need to have an approach that’s theological…

Jim: (Laughter) There’s a message!

Levi: …Theological and logical. Be a snakebird.

Jim: Be a snakebird. I love it. Levi, this has been amazing, and, uh, thank you so much, uh, for being our guest here at Focus on the Family.

Levi: Thank you for having me.

Jim: I love your book, Swipe Right. And again, it’s that kind of equipping resource – that tool that everybody can learn from – teens as well as parents who are raising teens, as well as older couples, who may be still limping in this life, even though they’re trying.

Levi: I would say, don’t feel like you’ve given up the moral authority though. I speak to parents all the time. It’s like, I can’t talk to my kids about sex because I didn’t make good decisions, and I’d be a hypocrite. I would say, speak vulnerably and tell them, I didn’t do things God’s way. I wish I had, but you can. You’re not disqualified. Your mistakes are now a message. 

Jim: I love it. And what I want to do is just, say thank you. If you support the ministry of Focus on the Family with a gift of any amount, man, we want to put this tool in your hand, and we will send it to you. And we so appreciate your support of the ministry that literally touches hundreds of thousands of lives every year, so partner with us, and in doing that, equip yourself, uh, either for your own family or for a friend. 

John: And you can get Levi’s book, Swipe Right, when you donate at focusonthefamily.com/radio. Or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. You can also order the CD or audio download of our 2-day conversation with him and be sure to check out the free document on our website called, The Talk, which will help you initiate ongoing conversations with your kids about God’s design for sex and purity.

And then finally, if you’ve got teen girls growing up in your home, we have a terrific magazine, Brio, which provides Bible-based perspectives on dating, social media, beauty and fashion, and how to live out their faith every day. All of these great resources are at focusonthefamily.com/radio.

Coming up next time on this broadcast, helping mom prepare her daughter for a strong, happy marriage.

Teaser:

Mrs. Erin Smalley: …There’s times I’ll make comments and just think, oh, I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it like that. And I can just see her face just full of disappointment. And that is not the relationship I want to have with my daughter.

Today's Guests

Swipe Right

Receive a copy of Levi Lusko's book Swipe Right for your donation of any amount!

Recent Episodes

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Listening to the Heart of Your Kids

Becky Harling offers practical ways you can intentionally listen to your child. From learning to give her a voice to the importance of non-verbal communication to teaching him how to make wise decisions, you’ll see how listening is one of the most important components of parenting.

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Taking Courageous Steps to Save Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Ann White’s marriage was in desperate trouble, but she was terrified to let anyone know. She discusses how God helped her to break through dysfunctional patterns and finally ask for help. Hear this courageous story about a marriage restored. (Part 2 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Taking Courageous Steps to Save Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Ann White’s marriage was in desperate trouble, but she was terrified to let anyone know. She discusses how God helped her to break through dysfunctional patterns and finally ask for help. Hear this courageous story about a marriage restored. (Part 1 of 2)

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Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Pastor Dave Carder offers couples practical advice for protecting their marriages from adultery in a discussion based on his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. (Part 1 of 2)

Focus on the Family Broadcast logo

Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Pastor Dave Carder offers couples practical advice for protecting their marriages from adultery in a discussion based on his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. (Part 2 of 2)

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you! 

Focus on the Family

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