Dr. Erwin Lutzer: So I wanna say to everyone today, bring your doubts to God. You know, you have questions, you have doubts, you have mysteries. Bring it to God.
John Fuller: Dr. Erwin Lutzer is with us today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller, and today we’re gonna be diving into a topic that every believer wrestles with at some point, and that is prayer. Stay with us for some great biblical insights and heart on this topic.
Jim Daly: John, frequently Christians and non-Christians will explore prayer. They’ll ask themselves, “Why do we do it? Does it really matter? Is God really there? Does He hear it? Does He answer?” And we’re gonna explore those tension points and, you know, sometimes there’s non-tension points as well. I remember playing football in high school, didn’t know whether I wanted to do college ball. I got scholarship offers. And I knelt down and prayed in that visiting locker room at Big Bear, California. I said, “Lord, you, if you don’t want me to play college ball, break a bone today, but don’t let it hurt.” Third quarter of that game, my collar bone got snapped in half. It didn’t hurt. I went, “Okay, I’m gonna take that as an answer-”
John: Answer.
Jim: “… to prayer.” As a 17-year-old boy.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: And, uh, you know, that was just the Lord’s way of saying, “I heard you. I’m with you. You want an answer? Here it is.” So that was a very direct answer to prayer that I received.
John: Yeah.
Jim: Sometimes it’s gonna happen like that, sometimes it won’t. And we want to help you think about why today with a very special guest.
John: Yeah, yeah. And I’ve got friends right now who are dealing with really deep difficulties in life, and God doesn’t seem to be answering the way they want or right away. And we’re gonna be talking about those kinds-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
John: … of circumstances as well. Dr. Erwin Lutzer is a theologian and pastor emeritus of The Moody Church in Chicago. He served there for 36 years as-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
John: … senior pastor. He’s, uh, on three radio programs with a thousand different outlets in the US and internationally, and online, and he’s authored more than 70 books. We’re so pleased to have him here to talk about this one called Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayers? A Biblical Guide to God’s Hidden Purposes.
Jim: Dr. Lutzer, welcome back. It’s always good to have you here.
Dr. Lutzer: So glad to be with you today, Jim. And we’re gonna be talking about a topic as you introduced it, namely, why doesn’t God answer our prayers? Now, I’m sure that this is your experience, it’s been mine. Where so many people deconstruct from the Christian faith because they pray something, they’re in desperation. God doesn’t seem to answer, and so they say, to quote the words of one man, “God isn’t worth a nickel to me.” So we’re gonna help people-
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: … to understand that God has hidden purposes. And we’re gonna use some biblical examples to help them to process as all of us need to, the whole issue of unanswered prayer.
Jim: Yeah. And that statement. I mean, on the one hand, that reality is good that people can express that and you can express it to the Lord. He’s big enough to hear your concerns and your complaints-
Dr. Lutzer: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … but far better to figure this out so that your expectations don’t lead to a disconnection, right? That you think, “Why doesn’t God answer my prayer or every prayer, et cetera?” You had an acquaintance who didn’t want to attend a prayer meeting, so I’m assuming that person was a Christian who was afraid-
Dr. Lutzer: Yeah. Yeah.
Jim: … that God wouldn’t answer his prayer.
Dr. Lutzer: Well, they prayed for their pastor. They had an all-night prayer meeting and this woman said, “If God didn’t answer all those prayers, I’m leaving Christianity.” Now, she is a Christian, and she’ll probably come back. But the deep disappointment in God, which is what we’re going to be talking about, is everywhere. And so, for example, when it comes to healing, and we can talk about that. About the fact that people frequently pray that they will be healed, as the example is that I’ve just given, and God doesn’t come through. And so, they are deeply disappointed and oftentimes it erodes their faith, and they stop praying about anything.
Jim: Well, let’s build the framework here. What, uh, or how would you describe the purpose of prayer?
Dr. Lutzer: That’s an excellent question. The purpose of prayer is to get us beyond our requests to fellowship with God, and that’s one of the mistakes that is often made. You know, we treat God like a slot machine. You know, “I need this, I need that.”
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Lutzer: But ultimately, why is it that we have so many needs? The answer is to bring us into God’s presence and to help us all to understand that we have a greater need for God and His presence than we do the answers to our prayers.
Jim: Let me ask you this, uh, Dr. Lutzer, because, you know, you go back 2000 years and what the early Christians were dealing with. So many creature comforts that didn’t exist. Indoor plumbing, just simple things. And it seems to me that, you know, most of those prayers were around physical need, you know. People couldn’t walk, people couldn’t see, people couldn’t hear and the, uh… Well, the Lord along with the disciples and those around them were able to pray for people and, you know, obviously the Book of Acts is full of stories where people were made whole.
In today’s environment, it feels like, you know, the needs are met, but we have a certain self… Higher self-orientation. You mentioned it as a slot machine. So, we’re just playing this kind of thing with the Lord where we want more or better, or something that brings us greater comfort. And that’s not the healthiest place spiritually (laughs) to be, I wouldn’t think.
Dr. Lutzer: And in the Book of Acts, of course, these miracles occurred because they were done by the apostles. Later on throughout church history, you don’t see the same miracles. But in answer to your question, Jim, many people treat prayer like they do an oxygen mask on an airplane.
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Lutzer: Now, when we flew here from Chicago, we didn’t need the oxygen mask-
Jim: (laughing). That’s good.
Dr. Lutzer: … for which we were grateful. But we were glad that it was there and many people say, “Well, now we’re in trouble. Now we need God.” Yes, you do, but actually it’s deeper than that. You have to understand that your fellowship with God has to continue despite the disappointment, people can spill out their hurt before God. God can take it. It’s oftentimes at the end of our rope when we tell God what we think of Him and do it reverently, hopefully, that God begins to pour grace into our souls and we experience His presence.
Jim: Yeah, that, and that’s so good to remember. And I think that point of relationship is the key. I mean, we’re created for relationship. So the evidence of that prayer life is to be in relationship with God, and we’re gonna get into so much of that. How can we embrace the mystery of prayer? I mean, prayer is rather a mystery. I mean, yes, sometimes, no often. Uh, what is the mystery of prayer?
Dr. Lutzer: I’m thinking of the early apostles and those who suffered for their faith. I’m sure that before they were burned at the stake or they were taken and crucified as Peter was, they were probably praying for deliverance. But here’s the key. There’s a difference between asking God for specific things and committing ourselves to God. I believe that there are many people who are listening right now who are going to find a change in their lives when they finally give their request to God and commit those requests to God, not demanding a certain answer, but being willing to receive whatever He gives them-
Jim: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Lutzer: … and that’s an important lesson for us to learn. So they didn’t always get the answer to their prayers either.
John: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: And, and we have to understand none of us can comprehend the mystery that you referred to because back behind God, so to speak, He’s working things that we don’t see and that’s where faith comes in.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Lutzer: So I wanna say to everyone today, “Bring your doubts to God.”
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: You know, you have questions, you have doubts, you have mysteries, bring it to God. It’s not wrong to doubt if you’re an honest doubter. Now, dishonest doubters, that’s a different thing.
Jim: Yeah. But in that, the, I mean, the end of that is critically important that God’s purposes may not be known to us. He had a-
Dr. Lutzer: Exactly.
Jim: … purpose for John.
Dr. Lutzer: Oh, and Jim, we’re gonna be giving some-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: … illustrations of that.
John: And before you move on, what was Jesus’ assurance to John there in the prison cell? What did He send back as a message?
Dr. Lutzer: Well, He sent back a message about the fact that miracles were being done and then Jesus said, “Blessed are those who are not offended because of me.” If I could give a very contemporary response to that, it would be, “Blessed are those who are not upset with the way I run my business.”
Jim: (laughing) And the way I run the shop.
Dr. Lutzer: Yes.
Jim: I mean, that’s funny, but accurate.
John: Wow.
Jim: And I think that’s the whole point. You know, again, so much of this life mirrors what God’s trying to teach us in a spiritual context. So you have marriage. What’s the biggest issue in marriage typically? Expectations that are unmet.
Dr. Lutzer: Right.
Jim: What I expect of my spouse. And then you spend a lifetime better understanding what the relationship should be. It is exactly the same thing with our relationship with the Lord. What are our expectations and what should be the proper, healthy expectations of our relationship with the Lord?
Dr. Lutzer: Blessed are those who have no reason to believe that’s visible, but yet they keep believing. That is indeed the height of faith.
Jim: Mm-hmm. And that’s every one of us that have proclaimed Christ are in that category in this century. I mean, we have to look back 2,000 years when He walked and say, “Okay, I believe. I believe He’s the Messiah. I believe He did everything He said. I believe the Word of God is true and, and right.” So let me ask you this. Uh, you had a great story in the book about a man you called Ted who wrote a letter about his unanswered prayers. Uh, share that story about Ted.
Dr. Lutzer: This is so critical to many people listening. Ted was listening to a word of faith evangelist who said that if you believe God, he’ll give you money. That’s the essence of it. And there are many who teach that thing. So Ted tried it. He’s a believer, he’s in prison, but he’s trusting God both for health because he had some health issues and for money. And none of it came to pass.
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: So he writes and says, “What’s wrong?” Well, of course, I answered, but here’s the point. I wanna speak about healing since that’s oftentimes a pressure point for people. Is healing in the atonement? Yes, of course, Jesus died for us body, soul and spirit. But, we don’t get our complete inheritance in this life. Jesus also came to abolish death, and that hasn’t happened. So yes, there’s physical healing that we shall receive, but we can’t insist on it now. Even faith healers who teach that you can have whatever you want if you have faith, they end up dying. And so what we need to do is to understand that you can name it, but you can’t always claim it.
Jim: Yeah. You know, and I appreciate that. One of the things that can be complicating for a non-believer or a new believer and probably some mature believers is this idea of God’s omniscience. He knows. He knows the day we’re gonna die. He knows the number of hairs on our head. I mean, that’s pretty profound. The point is, He knows everything. That’s what that scripture’s trying to say, in my opinion. But in that context, if He already knows everything in that way, again, prayer, is prayer really there to move Him or-
Dr. Lutzer: Jim, let’s go back to Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount. Jesus says this, “When you pray, don’t use repetition like the heathen do, for your Father knows in advance what you need.” And then what’s the next thing out of his mouth? “When you pray, pray thus, our Father who art in heaven,” and you end up with, you know, “give us this day our daily bread.” So Jesus acknowledged both on the one hand, God knows exactly what we need. On the other hand, we’re to ask for it.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: And we have to embrace that mystery.
John: Well, we’re talking about, uh, the essence of the Christian walk and what it means to fellowship with God in prayer and, uh, the mysteriousness of God’s nature and this whole process of prayer. Get a copy of this terrific resource from Dr. Erwin Lutzer. It covers so much about prayer. Uh, the title is Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayers? And you or someone you know needs this book. Uh, we have it here at the ministry, and you’ll find the link to get your copy of this book at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
And, uh, we’ve really centered on kind of individual prayers, but there’s an element of corporate prayer that I think a lot of us don’t experience because many in the Christian community are just kind of going solo. So how important is that and why?
Dr. Lutzer: Why should we pray with one another? It’s so important that we not only individually connect with God, but even as a corporate group, as a church. Why? What God wants to do is to help us to understand, number one: we can’t face life alone. It should be done in the company of other believers. As we run the race of life we run together. The other thing is, it’s so important for us to understand that we need the support of other believers in the midst of our distress. Now, we can’t get into the whole story right here, but John, do you remember Jesus in Gethsemane said to Peter, James and John, “Come and watch with me.” Now they blew it because they slept. But, the point is, even Jesus said, “I need people around me.” I remember a woman who was divorced and her husband actually kidnapped the child-
John: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: … a terrible situation, and she said, “I’m praying about it.” I said, “Do you have other believers to pray with you?” She said, “No, I don’t.” I said, “You have to have that.” You have to have people who sympathize with you, people who believe along with you because we are, after all, one body. So that’s why I think corporate prayer is so important. And one of my burdens actually as a pastor is to know the number of churches that no longer have prayer meetings.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Isn’t that something?
Dr. Lutzer: And I think that’s a tragedy.
Jim: Yeah, so much so. Uh, let’s talk about the benefits of prayer, um, that personal transformation that takes place when we pray. You know, so often, uh, we’re coaching those around us. I, we do that here at Focus. “Here’s how, when you’re in the heat of a battle in your marriage, here’s how to back up, take a deep breath, kind of deescalate, and approach the problem a little more godly. And you’ll have a better outcome.” I think prayer is just like that. When you come into prayer, and as we lay those burdens on the Lord, we share our burdens with God. Something does change our heart and our attitude. What is that change?
Dr. Lutzer: Jim, this is so critical. We must recognize that oftentimes people who pray, “Lord, help me,” should be praying, “Lord, transform me.”
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: And they are willing to pray for the Lord’s help but not for His transformation. The best example of this comes from the Book of James. James says, “You pray and you receive not because you ask amiss,” I think I’m quoting the King James here-
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: … “that you might consume it on your own lusts.” Now, James goes on and tells us exactly how to pray. He says, “Submit yourselves to God.” In other words, you’re not gonna tell God what to do, but you do give Him the desires of your heart. “Submit yourselves to God, resist the devil because he’s going to want to come after you and destroy-”
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Lutzer: … “your prayer life.” And then it says, “Humble yourselves in the presence of the Lord and He will raise you up. Draw near to God and He will draw near to you.” So here’s what I want to emphasize. It is not simply asking God for help. Every time we come, we should say, “Lord, what is it that you want me to change? What are you trying to say to me?” Because after all, prayer brings about transformation.
Jim: It’s so good. I mean, that’s, and it’s a posture, an emotional-
Dr. Lutzer: Yes.
Jim: … and spiritual posture before the Lord. Asking God questions is a good place to go. He is the Creator of the universe.
Dr. Lutzer: Yeah. (laughing)
Jim: Right?
Dr. Lutzer: Yes, He is.
Jim: I mean, we talk about standing in front of or being in a meeting with the richest man in the world, Elon Musk. What would you ask him? Uh, okay, let’s go up a few notches. The Creator of the universe-
Dr. Lutzer: Yeah.
Jim: … what are the questions that you have for Him?
Dr. Lutzer: And I believe that we honor God in our worship even though there’s a great deal of mystery. You know, as an older man, I spend a great deal of time contemplating God. I can’t get my mind around the eternality of God, but I meditate and contemplate anyway because I believe that that exalts the Lord. And while I’m on the topic, every morning I recite the same verses, “I will bless the Lord at all times. His praise shall continually be in my mouth.”
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: That’s the way I begin. So no matter what’s going on around me, and sometimes it’s good, sometimes I don’t see it as being good, but I accept it and I want to bless God anyway.
Jim: You know what’s critical in there, Erwin, and I want to highlight this, that attitude is all the difference. That’s the point. If you’re in a bad spot and you’re cursing the Lord. And that can be without language, that’s more like, “Why would you put me in this spot?” I mean, that to me is a little disrespectful rather than saying, “Lord, I don’t understand it. I don’t know why I’m in this circumstance, but I’m going to trust you.” Those are very different emotions.
Dr. Lutzer: Yeah. Blessed is the person who when he doesn’t receive from the Lord what he wants, nonetheless continues to worship.
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: And in doing that, we honor the Lord, and that’s the means of transformation.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: God wants to transform us, and so prayer is one of the means, but it can’t be just simply asking God for requests.
Jim: You know, I’m so grateful for the characters in the Bible. Whether that’s, you know, David or Peter. Yeah, I mean, everybody has their favorite misfit, right? (laughs) And I say that respectfully because they too are human, just like us. Abraham negotiates-
John: Mm.
Jim: … with the Lord when it comes to Sodom and Gomorrah. Speak to that.
Dr. Lutzer: Fascinating.
John: Yeah, (laughs) this is good.
Dr. Lutzer: Fascinating. The 18th chapter of Genesis. Now, Abraham wants to save Lot and his wife, and Lot’s daughters. So he begins by saying, “God, if you find 50 righteous, will you destroy Sodom and Gomorrah?” God says, “No.” And Abraham goes all the way down to 10, and says, “Lord, if there are 10 righteous in Sodom and Gomorrah, you won’t destroy it, will you?” And God says, “No, I won’t.” Abraham leaves, God leaves, now the drama begins. (laughs) He goes home and he speaks to Sarah and I’m using my imagination here and says, “Sarah, I just spared Sodom and Gomorrah judgment because I got God down to 10.”
John: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: And now let’s count them. Well, there’s Lot, there’s his wife, there’s his two daughters, which is four, but they are going to marry some young men, and so that’s six, and probably these young men come from godly parents. There are 10. Well, the next day Abraham goes out and Sodom and Gomorrah is burning. Obviously, he’s thinking Lot and his wife and family is not going to be spared. But here’s the lesson. God sometimes gives us the desires of our heart, but it doesn’t come like we expect it to.
Jim: Mm.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: That’s a good point.
Dr. Lutzer: He thought that Sodom and Gomorrah would not be burned, but lo and behold, it was burned, but Lot and his daughters were rescued. So let’s remember God has different ways of answering prayer.
Jim: Yeah, that, that is such a good point. I mean, again, we get dashed in our expectations of how God will answer a prayer, and that’s equally important. Right here at the end, uh, Habakkuk uh, is another great example in the Bible of a man who trusted God in tough circumstances. How did he respond to the knowledge that God was sending judgment on Israel? And let me just put that in the context of today. Many Christians believe that kind of judgment is coming to us in America.
Dr. Lutzer: Jim, this is so fascinating. It is such a blessing. Habakkuk is praying, “God, look at violence, do something.” God responds, “I am doing something. I’m bringing the Babylonians to destroy you.”
Jim: (laughing) Right?
Dr. Lutzer: And he responds and says, “Oh, my, I wish I wouldn’t have asked.” And God says, “I am doing something. I’m bringing the Babylonians to destroy you.”
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: So Habakkuk goes through all of this agony. How is he gonna manage this? He’s wrestling with the character of God, but then in the end, he begins to praise God because he begins to understand two attributes of God. Number one, His sovereignty and His justice, but also His care for His people. Now, this ends up with Habakkuk’s prayer. He says at the end of the book, chapter three, “I hear, my body trembles, my lips quiver at the sound, rottenness enters into my bones. My legs tremble beneath me,” so he’s in fear. “Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit beyond the vines, the produce of the olive fail, and the fields yield no food, the flocks be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet will I rejoice in the Lord? I will take joy in the God of my salvation. God is my strength. He makes my feet like the deer’s. He makes me tread on high places.”
And I say to everyone who is listening, if you have a pen or pencil, jot this down. As long as you have a pulse, you still have a praise, and Habakkuk proves that. Now, in the year 1700s, there was a man by the name of William Cowper who struggled with suicide. He took the prayer of Habakkuk, and in his writing, “Sometimes a Light Surprises,” this is what Habakkuk meant to him. “The vine, nor fig tree neither, their wonted fruit should bear, tho’ all the fields should wither, nor flocks, nor herds be there; yet God the same abiding, His praise shall tune my voice, for while in him confiding, I cannot but rejoice
.” So once again, my friend, if you have a pulse, you have a praise.
John: Mm.
Jim: And in that context, and I wanna punch this point right at the end, Dr. Lutzer. What you’re describing is a resiliency of faith, and you must, as a pastor, look around and go, “How much we need that right now.” It doesn’t feel like generally we as the church have great resilience of faith. It’s like we’re weak.
Dr. Lutzer: We sure are. And some of the reasons for this is the fact that many of us live in a country where there is prosperity. When you go to countries where there isn’t-
John: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: … you find this kind of faith, but it’s very difficult for us to trust God when everything under us falls apart.
Jim: And that’s really the ultimate test. When it falls apart, can you maintain your connection to God?
John: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: Yes.
Jim: That, that is Paul when he wrote, “In all things, I will be content in all circumstances,” not some, in all. And we seem not to be able to grasp that for ourselves, and it’s right there. Dr. Lutzer, this has been fantastic. I know people are being helped in understanding that relationship and their prayer life or lack thereof, attitude toward prayer. This has been great.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Let’s come back for a second day and cover more out of your great book, Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayers? Probably the number one question in the Christian and the non-Christian community. Can we do it?
Dr. Lutzer: We can.
Jim: Okay, let’s do that. And if this is striking a chord with you, which we hope it is, I don’t think really most people are satisfied in that prayer life. Uh, get a copy of Dr. Lutzer’s book directly from Focus on the Family. What’s so good about supporting the ministry, we’ll be able to send you the book to say thank you for being part of the ministry, and together we can help more people in their Christian journey to be stronger in Christ, better in their marriage, better as a parent, save a baby’s life. Why not do that when you get a great resource from us?
John: Yeah. In the past 12 months, Jim, we’ve helped almost one million people, uh, to grow stronger in their faith. That’s what your investment does in Focus on the Family.
Jim: (laughing) That’s a pretty good investment.
John: Donate today. We’ll say thanks, as Jim noted, by sending this, uh, wonderful resource. It’s rich in so many ways. Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayer? And you can, uh, donate over the phone when you call 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY, 800-232-6459, or online at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
And thanks for joining us for Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. I’m John Fuller inviting you back next time as we continue the conversation about prayer with Dr. Erwin Lutzer, and once again, help you and your family thrive in Christ.
Day Two:
Dr. Erwin Lutzer: I said, “Lord, thank you that you said no to the prayer of your Son. Thank you, because if you had said yes, we’d have not been redeemed.”
John Fuller: Dr. Erwin Lutzer is back for another powerful discussion about prayer. Why we pray, how God uses prayer to transform us and how we can learn to align our will with His. Today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly, we’re going deeper on the subject. I’m John Fuller.
Jim Daly: John, uh, we’re going to address one of the hardest areas of the Christian life and that’s when we turn to the Lord in prayer and it doesn’t get answered, it doesn’t get answered the way we expect, we feel silent or alienated from the Lord. That is okay to feel that way, but what we do with that is critical before the Lord. It’s our attitude and, uh, man, we covered so much great territory last time with Dr. Lutzer. It was good stuff.
John: It really was.
Jim: And, you know, one of the things in our journey together in this life is how do we go deeper into relationship with Christ? And I’m excited because I think day two will be power-packed again with how our attitude needs to reside within God’s heart and hands and then what are we learning in that process-
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: … to be deeper in Him.
John: Yeah, be sure to go back and listen to that previous episode with Dr. Lutzer. It’s, uh, easiest to find on our app and you can download that or you can go online or, uh, catch it on YouTube.
Now, Dr. Lutzer is Pastor Emeritus of The Moody Church in Chicago. He served there as senior pastor for 36 years and he’s got three radio programs in the US and internationally. He’s online. He’s a busy guy. He’s written over 70 books and we’re so pleased to have him back, uh, to talk about this one, Why doesn’t God Answer My Prayers? A Biblical Guide to God’s Hidden Purposes.
Jim: Dr. Lutzer, welcome back. What a great day we had yesterday.
Dr. Lutzer: Jim, the reason I’m so excited is because I think that people who have given up on God and given up on prayer are going to be encouraged to go to God with greater faith and greater understanding that His hidden purposes, though they are indeed hidden from us, are fully known by Him. And that even in unanswered prayer, there are tremendous issues that God is dealing with that is hidden from our sight.
Jim: Yeah. And it, again, is so good. So many lessons out of our discussion last time. You know, one of the biggest struggles that we can have is not an answer in our prayers, it’s silence. You know, we don’t hear from God or seemingly, we don’t hear from God when we’ve petitioned Him for whatever it might be, some pain that we have. Uh, I guess Paul experienced that, you know, he had the thorn in the flesh and, uh, at some point, he thought, okay, this is gonna stay and I’m not gonna pray anymore for that. (laughs) I’ve petitioned God. He basically said no and we’ll keep moving.
Job is another example of perhaps that silence that I’m talking about where he was hit hard. In fact, it’s a very intriguing thing and I’d love you to comment on this too, that Satan entered into the presence of God and said, “Give me your servant, Job. He’ll turn on you the minute he has a chance.” And God responds to Satan.
Dr. Lutzer: Here’s a very important lesson. Never interpret the silence of God as the indifference of God.
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: God may be silent, but He is not indifferent. Now, let me pick up on Job since you mentioned that. Here’s the remarkable thing that you have to understand, Job did not know the first two chapters of his book.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Lutzer: He didn’t know that God and Satan had had this dialogue and that he was gonna be tested. If he had known that, he’d have been able to endure this trial much better. All that he knows is for no apparent reason, he has 10 dead children on the hilltop. His wife is very skeptical. As we all know, Job’s wife is oftentimes highlighted. And Job does not understand any of that. He doesn’t know that the whole world is gonna hear about his faith later on through the Bible. All that is hidden from him. All that he knows is this. And since we’re speaking theology here, he doesn’t say, “The Lord gave and the devil took away.” He saw the sovereignty of God behind his experience and he said, “The Lord gave, and the Lord took away-”
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: “Blessed be the name of the Lord.” And he said that without any explanations as to what God was doing. That is real faith.
Jim: Yeah. Erwin, let me ask for that person that is suffering right now and they’ve, they’ve given their prayers over to God and they are interpreting it as, “I may not be important to Him. I don’t feel He sees me.” I mean, that’s one of the greatest desperations in humanity, not being seen. And then for those that have faith in God, if you translate it, unlike Job, if you translate it to, “He doesn’t care about me, He doesn’t see me in my affliction,” it’s exactly opposite of what scripture is telling us. But speak to the heart of that for that suffering person.
Dr. Lutzer: I want to emphasize the fact that the Apostle Paul, since you mentioned him at the beginning, the Apostle Paul goes to God because he has a thorn in the flesh from Satan, by the way.
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: That’s interesting. And three times he entreats the Lord and says, “Please take it away.” Twice, the Lord says nothing. The third time he says, “No, but I’ll give you grace.” And to the person who is suffering there, who has asked God for specific healing as the Apostle Paul did, we don’t know exactly what his thorn was, for the person who’s suffering there, could I give you that word of encouragement? Cleave to God’s grace.
We do not have God’s understanding, but we do have the assurance of grace and the fact that Jesus said that all things are known and He even said to His disciples, “Don’t worry about tomorrow because today has enough trouble.” And what He’s saying is the God who takes care of the birds is the God who is going to take care of you. And he says, “Are you not of much more value than many sparrows?”
So, my dear friend, bring your doubts to God, but at the same time know this, that God is on your side, He is there for you and He’s going to give you grace to endure. And grace is like a pillow upon which a weary traveler can lay his head. You don’t have to understand in order to believe.
Jim: Mm. Dr. Lutzer, I often have this thought of, uh, the disappointed Christian. I mean, if you were to take your last breath in that moment of angst, God hasn’t answered your prayer and you’re disappointed. And let’s just, that assumption that, poof! In the next second, you’re right in front of the Lord. You’re done with this life, it just happened, and you’re carrying that into that conversation with God. Man, I don’t wanna be there.
I would much rather be all the examples that you’ve given, you know, the Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away. Blessed be the name of the Lord. That’s how I would wanna enter into Heaven with my attitude. I feel like that’s a discipline of having… You know, thinking not in fear, this isn’t a fearful thought, but I’m gonna face the Lord. Each one of us is gonna face the Lord. Wouldn’t you much rather face Him with an attitude of gratitude as opposed to, “I’ve got 10 questions for you, Lord.”
Dr. Lutzer: (laughs) Yeah. And, uh, whether or not those questions will be relevant once you die-
Jim: Yeah. (laughs).
Dr. Lutzer: … that’s a question we don’t have an answer to.
Jim: Right.
Dr. Lutzer: But I wanna say this, Jim, to the person who is dying with doubts, even though they are true believers, we are not promised an easy journey.
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: We are only promised a safe landing.
John: Mm-hmm.
Dr. Lutzer: So when you arrive in Heaven, you will arrive there with the knowledge that you were bought by Christ, you belong to Him and you’re going to be with Him forever. Because we as human beings oftentimes, I mean, if you were before a firing squad, it might not be a happy experience where you say, “Oh, Lord, I’m so glad for this.” It may be very difficult, it is fearful, but as a believer, you will arrive at your destination, and Jesus is gonna be there for you even as He was for Stephen who was stoned.
Jim: Mm.
John Fulller: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: And that’s a very interesting insight into eternity. Stephen is stoned. He looks up into heaven. Jesus is standing, the only time in the New Testament when Jesus is standing, He’s always seated at the right hand of God. And Jesus is saying, “Stephen, these stones are gonna hurt. You’re gonna go through a lot of suffering, but I just want you to know that when you die, I’m gonna be here for you.”
Jim: Yeah. That’s exactly the point I was trying to make, but it… You gotta contemplate this ’cause it’s big. Are you capable of going down like Stephen?
Dr. Lutzer: Well-
Jim: Attitudinally, maybe not being stoned in the roughness of that, but even, man, even in our attitude to be able to go down with, “Your will be done, Lord.”
Dr. Lutzer: And yeah, “Into thy hands I commit my spirit.”
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: That phrase was on the lips of most people, most martyrs who died for the faith.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: Imitating Jesus whose last words on the cross were, “Father, into thy hands, I commit my spirit.” And that would be the ideal attitude with which we should die.
Jim: You know, an interesting story that I’ve come across, I was out visiting a donor who builds 911 rescue boats in the Seattle area. And, uh, wonderful man and I, he asked me to come down and just spend a day with them at the factory and watch how they do it. And I, I’m always… It’s like how it’s made.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: And he said, “I don’t know if Joe’s here today, but Joe’s got a pretty interesting testimony you’re gonna need to hear.” So I’m thinking the whole time. So we’re almost three quarters of the way through the day and here comes this man running at me and I’m thinking, “This must be Joe.” And Joe runs up and he was on the assembly line in some capacity, but he came up to me and said, “Hey, I’m Joe. I love Focus on the Family, Mr. Daly. Thanks for being here today.”
And I said, “Joe, I’ve heard you, you’ve got quite a testimony.” He goes, “Yeah, yeah. I got a diagnosis of cancer, but cancer, who cares? We’re all gonna go down. I don’t care how we go.” I was like, “Okay, that’s an interesting statement.” I said, “What happened?” And he said, “Well, I, you know, I had stage four cancer and that night, I’m already in the hospital getting a chemo treatment.” And he said, “The brightest light, when everybody left the room, the brightest light appeared at the end of my bed, and it was so pure. Pure love. It felt like I was gonna pop.”
And he, he went through that story and that wasn’t even the most relevant part. He just said, “I don’t care what gets me. Something’s gonna get all of us. I can’t wait to be tapped into that source of love once again.”
John: Mm.
Jim: Wow.
Dr. Lutzer: Yes, Jim, you know, the statistics on death are very impressive.
Jim: (laughs)
Dr. Lutzer: And I remember sitting with a man who would die 40 days later. He said to me, “If I could sign something to get out of this, I would.” But he said, and he was 64 years old, he said, “I would have to come back to this moment anyway because there’s no way to get out of death.” And so if it happens when you’re younger or it happens when you’re older, it may not matter much to you. Of course, those who are left behind, they struggle. But, you know, in the book of Hebrews, it says that Jesus died to deliver those who, through fear of death, were all their lifetime subject to bondage. So to the person out there who’s a true believer, just know this, yes, we can’t avoid death. We can prepare for it, but the simple fact is this: you are going to arrive in glory.
John: Yeah.
Jim: Wow. (laughs)
John: Yeah. What an assurance, what a confidence we can have in our faith in Christ. Dr. Erwin Lutzer is our guest today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly and, uh, such great insights, such powerful scriptures and examples to help you in your doubts and in your struggles in prayer. We wanna equip you to thrive in Christ. That’s why we’re here as a ministry. And so get a copy of this book. It’s gonna help you do that. Uh, we’ve got it at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
Jim: Dr. Lutzer, I have been bursting at the seams here to ask you this question and, uh, I think it’s one of the most important questions as an example and you’ve done a great job giving us, you know, Abraham and Job and Paul and others in scripture. Let’s go to the source, Jesus. I mean, He goes into the Garden of Gethsemane. He’s, He knows what’s coming. He knows His death is imminent, and it’s gonna be horrible, scourging, hanging on a Cross, and He prays to the Father. What do we take away from how He prayed?
Dr. Lutzer: Jim, I want to share my heart with you and with everyone else who is listening, because when I studied this, it was so transforming. Here’s the thing. First of all, Jesus is in agony. He asks Peter, James and John to join him. They, of course, fall asleep and He goes, according to Matthew, face down on the ground and He is in great agony. Why? Because He has to drink the cup that His father gave Him. And we know that the cup is the cup of God’s wrath.
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: I want everyone to visualize this. Imagine all of the sin of the world all compressed and all of the judgment of God on sin compressed into three hours and Jesus is going to endure that. For a period of time, He’s going to be separated from the Father. Fellowship will be broken. The ontological relationship of the Trinity will be totally intact. But Jesus is going to have to say, “My God, my God.” The only time in the New Testament where he called God, God, and not His father. “My God, my God, why has thou forsaken me?”
All right, He needs the help of the disciples. So, Jesus is going through unbelievable agony. And by the way, if all depression and fear were sinful, Jesus would sin, but He’s sinless. I mean, these kinds of experiences are common to all of us.
Jim: So grief, that kind of grief is okay. That’s in the scope of-
Dr. Lutzer: Yes. Yes.
Jim: … being godly. It’s not ungodly.
Dr. Lutzer: Now, Jesus goes and three times He prays to the Father and this is in Mark chapter 14. Jesus says, “Father, all things are possible for you. Remove this cup from me.” And He prays that three times. And then Jesus says, nonetheless, whatever you will, let your will be done.
Jim, when I realized this, I left my computer desk and I got on the floor before God, because what I’m going to share was so transforming. Our salvation was founded on an unanswered prayer.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: What if God had said, “Yeah, okay, from what I’ve seen of the human race, let’s abort the plan. It’s not worth it. These human beings, they’re sinners. They love their sin. Let them go and be damned.” You and I would not be redeemed. It’s because the Father said no to the Son. “You have to drink the cup.” That is the basis of our salvation.
And I, if I could shout this to everyone who’s listening, I would say this, that God may be doing greater things through unanswered prayer than He is through answered prayer. And if I might take the time to just draw a couple of lessons about this. First of all, it’s very evident that today’s prayerless Christians become tomorrow’s backsliders. Here’s Peter, James and John who fell asleep along with the other disciples. They weren’t praying with Christ and before the chapter ends, you discover that they’ve all forsaken Him. And so if you’re a prayerless Christian, this certainly could happen to you. And Jesus said, “Watch and pray.” Jim, you know that the reason we have to watch is to watch for enemies, right?
Jim: Mm.
Dr. Lutzer: Because they’re enemies and in our homes today, we have to watch for the enemies, the internet and everything that comes to us. “Watch and pray that you enter not into temptation. The spirit is willing but the flesh is weak,” and we’ve certainly all experienced that. But here’s the thing. Though Jesus Christ’s prayer was not answered in the affirmative, His prayer was heard. If you go to Hebrews chapter five, you discover that Christ, in His flesh, offered prayers and supplications to God, and He was heard in that He feared.
Now eventually, of course, Jesus was raised from the dead. But notice this, according to Greek scholars, the word heard is positive. He was heard. And I want to say to all those who are listening, even your unanswered prayers are heard by God. I remember in Bible college visiting a home, we were doing some home visitation, and a woman came to the door, and she was wiping her tears from her cheeks. I still remember it vividly though it was many years ago. And she said, “Oh, forgive me. I’ve just been praying for my son.” Now here’s the thing, I don’t know what happened to her son, but I do know this, that her prayer was heard.
So, remember this, in Revelation chapter five, it says that the 24 elders fell down before the Lord and it says each of them had a golden bowl filled with incense, which is the prayers of the saints. So my dear friend, keep praying, keep trusting. Even if your prayer isn’t answered, remember this, God may have a hidden agenda and let us begin to thank Him for unanswered prayers because we know that if they are unanswered, there must be a good reason even if we don’t know what that reason is. To be very clear, we have to live by promises not explanations.
Jim: Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: And so, you and I must recognize here that our Savior experienced unanswered prayer and thank God He did. When I was on the floor before the Lord, when this finally hit me, I said, “Lord, thank you that you said no to the prayer of your Son. Thank you, because if you had said yes, we’d have not been redeemed.” So to repeat, God may have agendas that are much greater than our experience and what we need to do is to lean into that and say, “We don’t have to understand in order to keep believing. This is the trial of your faith.”
Jim: Right. And that greater is wiser as well. God has wisdom beyond what we could imagine.
Dr. Lutzer: To everyone listening, at the end of the day, it’s not my will, it’s not your will. Accept the will of God for you, even though it’s very different than God’s will for somebody else and say, “Nevertheless, not my will but thine.”
Jim: Powerful words and a powerful revelation actually, that we’re saved through an unanswered prayer. What a statement. That had to be the biggest “aha-”
Dr. Lutzer: Well, not only that.
Jim: … in writing this book.
Dr. Lutzer: For a moment, I shuddered.
Jim: Yeah. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Dr. Lutzer: “Oh, God. Thank you, Father, that you did not answer the prayer of your Son.”
Jim: Think of the, think of the pain of that.
Dr. Lutzer: Yeah. And then Jesus drank the cup, and the cup came from the Father. I need to explain this. Wicked hands crucified Christ, but there’s a limit to what wicked hands can do. There comes a time when wicked hands can no longer do anything and we are in God’s hands. So, Jesus experienced all of the wickedness of Herod, of course, and the Romans and the Jews and all that, but that was okay. That was the cup that was given to Him by his Father.
And I’m speaking to people today who are going through suffering at the hands of unbelievers, maybe also the hands of believers. They need to see that this cup has been given to them of God. The source may be evil, but ultimately, because it’s under God’s control, God is using that for good.
Jim: Huh.
Dr. Lutzer: And so Jesus drank the cup and thank God He did.
Jim: Yeah. Powerful words. Right at the end here, uh, Dr. Lutzer, Joni Eareckson Tada is a person that we all know, her and her husband, Ken. Terrible teenage diving accident left her a paraplegic. She’s probably one of the most amazing living inspirations in the world. I mean, she just wakes up gritting through the pain and all the suffering that she deals with to sing for the Lord to paint. But she has to wake up every day with that willingness. Speak to the power of her testimony.
Dr. Lutzer: I heard her say, and this of course, is a paraphrase, that when that accident happened so many years ago. First of all, she wanted to die. She wanted to commit suicide. She couldn’t do that, thankfully. And then she said she went to healing services and everyone told her that John chapter five is the story for you. It’s the story of the man at the pool of Bethesda.
About 40 years later, she’s taken to Israel. Of course, she’s in a wheelchair and she goes to the pool of Bethesda. And she said that when she sat there, she thanked God that she had not been healed 40 years earlier because of all the good that God did through her as a result of her suffering. Thank God even when your prayers are unanswered because God may have a bigger vision to do in you and through you than you will ever find out about in this life.
Jim: So true. And, uh, you know, Joni, if you’re listening, we love you and thank you for that witness.
Dr. Lutzer: Yeah.
Jim: That’s what we mean by being a witness for Christ. And sometimes it’s the short straw, but she’s lived it so well.
Dr. Lutzer: Yeah.
Jim: So well. Dr. Lutzer, this has been so good. Uh, there’s so much more in the book, we can’t cover it all. And, uh, man, everybody needs a copy of this great resource. So thank you for being with us these past two days. Really good, good insights. Thank you.
Dr. Lutzer: Thank you, Jim and John.
Jim: Yeah, so appreciate it. Uh, let me turn to you and say, have you been praying? Do you have a habit of prayer? Have you made it important in your life? If the answer’s no, and I’m not laying guilt on you, I’m just saying prayer is powerful. Prayer’s important. I’m so grateful that Jean and I are able to start days mostly with prayer. Not every day, to be honest, but we should be every day and, uh, together as a couple and certainly as an individual.
So it’s a discipline. It’s a habit that you need to form for all the right reasons. And I know you’ve heard that through the great answers that Dr. Lutzer has provided through the questions, and I hope you’ll be wanting to get a copy of this book. Uh, be a partner in ministry with us. Just make a gift of any amount. If you cannot afford it, call us. I’m willing to put my neck out there to say we’ll do that, trusting others will cover the cost of that if you need it. And everybody again should have a copy.
John: Mm-hmm.
Jim: Money shouldn’t be the issue and let’s not make it the issue. Get ahold of us, get a copy. If you can support us, we’ll send it as our way of saying thank you. If you can’t, we’re gonna send it and, uh, help you.
John: Hm. Yeah. Get in touch today to get this wonderfully rich practical book by Dr. Erwin Lutzer called Why Doesn’t God Answer My Prayers? Our number is 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY, where you can find the details at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.
Next time, Dannah Gresh will speak about the powerful connection between moms and their daughters.
Dannah Gresh: And this teenage girl said, “My mom looks in the mirror and tells herself out loud every day how ugly and fat she is.” And she’s in tears and she’s like, “I think my mom’s beautiful and I look just like her.”
