Many parents struggle with this issue. Most of us naturally see our way as the right way. Every husband and wife must realize that both the mom way of parenting and the dad way of parenting are God-given gifts. By working together, you can arrive at the healthy and proper balance your children need. This is how God wired the parenting partnership.
Mothers and fathers both need to recognize the need for balance. The goal is to temper each other. If you have trouble with this, it might be a good idea to get some advice from family members or friends who have faced the same dilemma. Just make sure that your input comes from couples whom both of you trust and respect. If you don’t, you may be tempted to “choose sides” and end up with an unnecessary conflict on your hands.
The fact of the matter is that kids need both a mother’s and a father’s input. Dad takes an objective approach and provides his children with much needed instruction in the area of moral absolutes and the consequences of right and wrong actions. Mom, on the other hand, emphasizes compassion, empathy, relationship and the importance of appreciating the uniqueness of every individual. It’s important for youngsters to grow up under both of these influences.
We should add that you and your husband need to resolve this conflict for your own sakes as well as for your children. When you have differences of opinion concerning discipline or about things your kids should or should not be allowed to do, take some time to discuss your concerns and give reasons for your respective convictions. Be open to the possibility that your mate may have something to teach you in this area. Your assignment is to respect one another and work in tandem to complement each other in the application of discipline and correction.
If you’d like to talk about these ideas at greater length with a member of our staff, feel free to call Focus on the Family’s Counseling department. They offer this service free of charge, and they’d be pleased to assist you in any way they can.
Resources
If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.
The Well-Behaved Child: Discipline That Really Works
Focus on the Family Complete Guide to Baby & Child Care
You Can’t Make Me (But I Can Be Persuaded)
The New Strong-Willed Child Workbook
Boundaries With Kids: When to Say Yes, How to Say No, to Take Control of Your Life
Other books on Discipline
Referrals
John Rosemond: Parenting with Love and Leadership
Articles
Effective Biblical Discipline
