Given the brevity of your message, it’s difficult to know exactly how to respond. On the whole, we get the impression (though this may come as a surprise to you) that you’re in a fairly positive place as regards the health and progress of your spiritual pilgrimage. Why do we say this? Because you’re obviously in the process of making your faith your own. That’s a good thing.
It’s wonderful to be raised by Christian parents in a Christian home, but it doesn’t necessarily make you a Christian. Before that can happen, you have to experience the grace of God for yourself on a deeply personal basis. Debates, “proofs,” and rational arguments for God’s existence may help you get moving in the right direction, but they can’t take you all the way there. That’s because God is a Person, not a set of facts to be established by logical discussion.
For some of us, a life-changing encounter with Christ happens in a flash, as it did for Paul on the Damascus Road. For others, it comes gradually and only after a long and difficult uphill journey. We have a feeling that you fit into this second category. We realize that this can be painful and frustrating. But we also believe that it’s worth the struggle if at the end of the road you’re able to say, “I know whom I have believed and am persuaded that He is able to keep what I have committed to Him until that day” (II Timothy 1:12).
Our advice to you, then, is “to keep on keeping on.” Persevere in the path you’ve begun to follow. Read the Bible, attend church, listen to lectures and debates. If possible, find a pastor, an elder, or an older and wiser Christian friend with whom you can discuss your doubts and difficulties on a personal level. Most importantly, lay your situation before the Lord in prayer, opening your heart to Him as honestly and straightforwardly as you can. And when you feel as if you’re only “giving God the benefit of the doubt,” or that you simply can’t believe no matter how hard you try, remember the words of the man who brought his epileptic son to Jesus for healing: “Lord, I believe; help my unbelief!” (Mark 9:24). Christ honored that tortured cry of faith, small and weak as it was. We believe He’ll do the same for you.
If you think it might be helpful to discuss your questions at greater length with a member of our team, call us. We have a staff of pastoral counselors who would love to speak with you over the phone.
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Christian Research Institute
Becoming a Christian