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Dishwashing: A Secret Love Language

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Lovely couple doing the dishes together in the kitchen.
Adobe Stock/luckybusiness
Can washing dishes or folding laundry improve your marriage? Dr. Greg Smalley explains.

Today’s Scripture

“Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests by each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3-4, NIV).

Today’s Devotion

Sometimes when I’m washing the dishes, I’m not sure if I’m scraping dried asparagus off a plate or clearing the remains of a chemical disaster. That’s when I remind myself I’m washing dishes because I love Erin. And it’s a bonus if I start glowing in the dark. Right?

Dishes are my chore. And laundry. I chose those chores because Erin doesn’t enjoy doing those things. She does other chores. We’re a team. This is one way we can serve each other and have a tidy house.

We weren’t always like this. For a time, chores were a bone of contention. I thought one thing about chores while Erin thought another. Most couples have similar struggles.

The shift happened gradually. When I started taking over dishes without being asked, I noticed Erin’s shoulders relax a little. When she didn’t have to think about laundry, she had more energy for the things that matter to both of us.

With back-to-school chaos underway, teamwork in household tasks becomes even more crucial. You don’t have to wait years to make a change! You can choose today to serve your spouse and work as a team. Here’s what transformed our approach: Philippians 2:3-4 tells us to “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (NIV).

Erin is God’s gift to me. I want to honor her, serve her, and show her how much I value her. And if that means washing dirty dishes and folding laundry, then I’m glad to do it!

Today’s Prayer

Heavenly Father, thank you for my spouse. Give me grace to serve them and honor them. And in the process, remind me that I’m serving and honoring you as well. Amen.

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