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Intimacy Requires Effort – and Creativity

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Perhaps you have been surprised, even disappointed, to find that sex isn't the ready-made gift you were anticipating. It takes a lot of effort - and a bit of creativity - to make it work.

Sex is a lot like LEGOs. OK, cut me some slack. As a mom of three boys, I think it’s a good analogy. Consider this: The first time a child sees a box of LEGOs, he might be naïve enough to think that the box actually contains a toy like the cool picture on the front. Imagine his disappointment when he opens the box to find hundreds of seemingly random pieces of plastic instead of the Batmobile that was shown on the box cover.

The genius and fun of LEGOs is creativity. First, a child follows the directions to build the design on the box. But then, who can resist the desire to tear the blocks apart and build something new?

Back to the issue of sex. Culture may have given you a picture on a box – one of bliss, exquisite pleasure and oneness. Perhaps you have been surprised, even disappointed, to find that sex isn’t the ready-made gift you were anticipating. It takes a lot of effort – and a bit of creativity – to make it work.

Most marriages experience some obstacle to physical intimacy: differences in desire, medical issues, recovery from sexual abuse, involvement with porn, a poor body image, to name a few. I’m sure you’ve had occasions, as I have, when you ask God: “Wasn’t this supposed to be a gift? With all due respect, God, I think the gift is broken.”

The Lord asks you and me to view sex as a gift of creating. Just like that LEGO set, the joy is found in building. Regardless of the frustration you and your spouse may face in physical intimacy, the Lord invites you to build something far more precious than a few moments of physical pleasure. Unselfishness, grace, forgiveness, unconditional acceptance … each can be developed while seeking the Lord through the challenges you face in the bedroom.

Of all the toys we have purchased for our boys over the years, only the LEGOs have avoided our garage sales. In fact, our boys seem to have grown fonder of their LEGO sets with each new creation they put together.

The gift of intimacy may require some effort, but it is designed to last and grow more deeply satisfying as the years go by.

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There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

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Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

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