After your church identifies a lead mentor couple for your Marriage 911 program, look for couples in your congregation who can serve as Marriage 911 mentors for couples in crisis. We recommend that you look for couples with these characteristics:
Spiritual Qualifications
- Both spouses have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ and are committed to becoming more like Him in their personal lives. “Be imitators of me, as I am of Christ.” (I Corinthians 11:1, ESV)
- Both spouses are dependent on the Holy Spirit to lead. “But the Helper, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, He will teach you all things and bring to your remembrance all that I have said to you.” (John 14:26, ESV)
- Spouses attend church regularly. “Not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.” (Hebrews 10:25, ESV)
- The couple has a strong, healthy, growing, Christ-centered (but not perfect) marriage. A mentor’s marriage should not be in crisis. Everyone’s marriage needs tuning up, but if a mentor’s marriage is in crisis, we recommend the mentor focus on their own marriage before helping another.
- Mentor couples should be committed to prayer. Mentors should regularly take time to pray for their marriage and for their mentee couple.
Personal Qualifications
- The couple must be at least a year out of a marriage crisis (and continuing to work toward a healthy marriage) before mentoring another couple. If the couple has gone through Marriage 911 and wants to mentor another couple, we recommend taking a full year to rebuild/restore their own marriage.
- The couple must demonstrate ongoing investment in their own marriage. For example, we recommend couples read at least one marriage book a year or attend one marriage conference annually.
- Spouses must have time available to work with a couple. Due to the weekly commitments required in Marriage 911, we recommend that the couple make this their primary (or only) ministry outreach for this season. Also, mentor couples will need to contact their mentee within 24 hours of receiving a Marriage 911 assignment.
- Couples should be willing to challenge their mentees to grow together. “As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 17:17, ESV)
- Mentors should be advocates for reconciliation. Every marriage can be saved, but not all will be saved. Reconciliation is dependent on the willingness of the individuals. In addition, this means mentors should not refer mentees to a single’s ministry or divorce recovery class if the mentee is still legally married. Remember, unless a spouse dies or remarries, couples can still reconcile. Let God work!
