Today’s Scripture
“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye?” (Matthew 7:3, ESV)
Today’s Devotion
It doesn’t matter how long you’ve been married — 50 days or 50 years — chances are you’ve had a “discussion” or maybe even conflict over something small and silly.
Good Housekeeping compiled a list of common struggles couples face. Have you ever dealt with one of these:
- The right way to squeeze toothpaste
- The importance of reading instructions before putting things together
- The room temperature (too hot/too cold)
- The TV volume
- The proper use (and number) of paper towels
And yeah, toilet paper makes the list. Can you add a few more? Can you laugh about how silly they really are?
Why do we argue over the little stuff? It’s because we’re individuals with preferences and routines. So are our spouses. Sometimes those preferences clash. That’s OK. Healthy couples deal with the differences and learn how to create a win for the marriage team.
But the problem comes when those differences turn into “discussions,” and if unchecked, we let those discussions cause lasting damage.
How do you stop a simple issue from eroding your relationship?
While Jesus didn’t give instructions on how to squeeze a toothpaste tube in His Sermon on the Mount, He spoke about our tendency to exaggerate little issues and turn them into something destructive. “Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is a log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother’s eye” (Matthew 7:3, ESV).
Jesus uses a bit of hyperbole or “holy snark” (a speck of sawdust vs a tree branch) to challenge His followers to recognize their roles in a conflict and then remove the “log” from their own eye before “fixing” someone else.
That’s not easy to do. We like to fight for our rights. But what if — instead of fighting — you did this when the discussion gets heated:
- Call a timeout to cool off.
- Identify your emotions and processed what your spouse is saying. (Ask yourself, “What button just got pushed?”)
- Take that information to God, and ask Him for the truth so that you can reopen your heart to your spouse.
There’s always a “tube of toothpaste” in marriage. But the next time you and your spouse “discuss” the “right way” to squeeze it, remember Jesus’ word picture. Ask Him to show you the truth of the matter and remind you how to deal with it in a way that honors Him and keeps you laughing over the little things instead of letting them destroy your marriage.
Today’s Prayer
Heavenly Father, forgive us for the little fights — the selfish quibbles that come between us. Thank you for my spouse. Remind us to encourage and build each other up. Amen.
