In This Series:
For six weeks I sat nearly disbelieving as I listened to [pastor] Tommy Nelson. He was teaching that God intended us to experience deep emotional, sexual, and spiritual satisfaction in marriage. He spoke about keeping romance alive, about growing closer together while resolving conflicts, about treating each other with respect. He explained how a marriage with God at the center looked completely different from a “worldly” or godless relationship. He was talking about a marriage filled with greater love, joy, and commitment than I’d ever known. I felt numb as it dawned on me that Jeff and I had lived our marriage very far from God’s plan. I had not even known God had a specific plan for marriage. This was all new to me. Relationships, God-style.Another way we miss the importance of this is to ignore it. We humans are prideful, and often think we can control our lives better than God can. We did this for years. Look where it got us, 10 shallow years of marriage, and seven years of painful divorce. What does a marriage focused on Christ offer? It offers us guidance from the Bible, such as insight on how to love one another, how Christ looks at our spouse as a broken sinner just like ourselves, direction on how to live out Scripture, and God’s wisdom and knowledge about how to love each other. The fullness of God’s plan and order works so well because God created it, “and God saw all that he had made, and it was very good” (Genesis 1:31). When we ignore God’s plan, we end up frustrated, trying to control our lives on our own. The focus in our marriage can become a form of, “if you scratch my back I will scratch yours.” It’s like we have an unwritten contract where each spouse maintains a list in the back of their mind, hoping their spouse will perform. Yet this only leads to anger, bitterness and frustration. When expectations are not met, conflict only grows. God’s plan for us is just the opposite. He wants each of us to forsake our own desires and live for Christ, not ourselves. A biblical marriage is one in which each spouse submits themselves to Christ and seeks after God’s purposes, not their own. In God’s order, Christ is the head of the husband, and the husband is the head of the wife. The wife then submits to her husband, who is called to lead and serve his wife while he simultaneously submits to Christ. Couples who follow these biblical roles in marriage give their marriage the opportunity for great blessing and fulfillment.
Put the Pieces of Your Marriage Back Together
You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.