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Throughout the centuries, multitudes of husbands have taken the admonition of the Apostle Paul to heart when he declares:
Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her… (Ephesians 5:25, ESV).
Every husband who desires to serve God must contemplate this verse and ask the vital question: “How did Christ love the church?”
Of course the answer is that Jesus showed His love for the church by dying for her.
The Christian husband must be willing to make the same sacrifice – both day by day through unselfish service – and, if necessary, by laying down his physical life.
Taking a stand for marriage
In this day of seeming disposable marriages, godly husbands – and wives as well – must do their part to uphold and defend the sanctity of this biblical institution. Strong marriages are at the heart of strong families. Strong families are at the heart of strong communities. Strong communities are at the heart of a strong and just society.
There are few in history who provide us with a clearer picture of a heroic defense of marriage than the person we celebrate every February 14th. That hero of faith and family is none other than Saint Valentine.
Tradition tells us that Valentine – or as he was known in his day, Valentinus – was a priest serving in Rome under Emperor Claudius II in the third century AD. In those times, Rome was entangled in several expensive and unpopular wars, both near and far.
As has often happened throughout history, when a nation overextends itself and fights unpopular wars the people tend to rebel against the government. Claudius faced similar uprisings and had difficulty recruiting soldiers to fight in his armies.
At the same time, Christianity began to emerge as a force of change and influence in Roman society – much to the annoyance of the pagan government officials. Suspecting disloyalty and subversion from the Christians, Claudius and other emperors of the era looked disparagingly on the followers of Jesus – and later openly persecuted them.
Frustrated by the dwindling numbers in the military, Claudius blamed Christian marriage as the reason that Roman men were unwilling to join the army. In the emperor’s mind, affection for and obligations to wives and families were keeping the men at home.
The attack and defense of marriage
To overcome this obstacle, Claudius banned all marriages in Rome. Claudius was going to have the quota of his armies filled, even if it meant a direct attack on Roman families.
As a Christian priest, Valentine knew he had to stand against this attack on the sanctity of marriage. Valentine understood his vocal defense of family could cost him everything. Heroically, Valentine defied the emperor and continued to secretly perform marriages for young lovers.
Soon word of Valentine’s defiance made its way to the Roman authorities. This valiant priest was arrested and placed into the custody of an aristocrat named Asterius.
Lisa Bitel, Professor of History and Religion at the University of Southern California relates the tale: “…Asterius made the mistake of letting the preacher talk. Father Valentinus went on and on about Christ leading pagans out of the shadow of darkness and into the light of truth and salvation. Asterius made a bargain with Valentinus: If the Christian could cure Asterius’s foster-daughter of blindness, he would convert. Valentinus put his hands over the girl’s eyes and chanted: ‘Lord Jesus Christ, en-lighten your handmaid, because you are God, the True Light.’”
To the astonishment of Asterius, a miracle took place and the child could see. True to his oath, Asterius and his whole family received Christ and were baptized. Soon the emperor heard the news of this miraculous conversion, and he ordered them all to be executed.
According to History.com, Claudius ordered Valentine to be beaten with clubs and stones and then beheaded. The execution took place on February 14, on or around 270 AD.
Just before facing his death, in a final act of love from his prison cell, Valentinus wrote a goodbye note to Asterius’ daughter. He signed it, “from your Valentine.”
Valentine and Romance
According to History.com, in 496 AD, Pope Gelasius questioned the true identity of Valentine, referring to the martyr and his acts as “being known only to God.” The name Valentinus was quite common in the third century, and there were questions as to who the real Saint Valentine was. At the same time, the pope believed the story of the heroic priest and cemented the legend by declaring that February 14 would be celebrated as St. Valentine’s Day.
According to Elizabeth Hanes of History.com, it was the medieval English poet Geoffrey Chaucer who tied the historical figure to the concept of romance that we think of today on Valentine’s Day. The writer may have inadvertently created our modern holiday in one of his poems.
“Chaucer often took liberties with history,” Hanes explains, “placing his poetic characters into fictitious historical contexts that he represented as real. No record exists of romantic celebrations on Valentine’s Day prior to a poem Chaucer wrote around 1375.”
“In his work ‘Parliament of Foules,’ he links a tradition of courtly love with the celebration of St. Valentine’s feast day – an association that didn’t exist until after his poem received widespread attention. The poem refers to February 14 as the day birds (and humans) come together to find a mate. When Chaucer wrote, ‘For this was sent on Seynt Valentyne’s day / Whan every foul cometh there to choose his mate,’ he may have invented the holiday we know today.”
Shakespeare carried the tradition further when he wrote about the lovestruck Ophelia who speaks of herself as Hamlet’s Valentine. “Tomorrow is Saint Valentine’s Day, all in the morning betime, and I a maid at your window, to be your Valentine.”
The name of Valentine will likely always be connected to the concept of love. At the same time, the heroic action of an ancient Christian priest name Valentinus is an important reminder that marriage is a sacred gift of God that must be courageously protected. Men and women alike can look to Valentine as they lay down their lives daily to serve one another as husbands and wives.
