Opening:
Excerpt:
Dave Ramsey: When theyโre four and they clean up their room, we know, I cleaned up most of the room. He picked up a little bit of it but he gets all of the high-five, โatta-boysโ, youโre the best room cleaner that God has ever made. You are a rock star room cleaner! And he walks around with his little chest stuck out with two one dollar bills in his hand. Something just happened.
End of Excerpt
John Fuller: Well indeed, something did just happen. Thatโs Dave Ramsey. And heโs our guest today on Focus on the Family. And heโs gonna help you teach your children about managing money. Your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly. And Iโm John Fuller.
Jim Daly: Hey, John, thereโs nobody Iโd rather talk to about finances than Dave Ramsey. Heโs an expert. Heโs the financial guru in this country, and we had the opportunity to be with him in Nashville, Tennessee, where heโs based, to discuss money management for children. And here at Focus on the Family, we want to equip you, the parent, to do the best job you can – and if youโre a grandparent, to help you help your grandkids, to teach younger children how to handle money. And it starts when theyโre very young.
John: Yeah and of course, we have a lot of great resources for you. Just stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. And Dave Ramsey is the radio host of a nationally syndicated program,ย The Dave Ramsey Show. Heโs a best-selling author, and heโs got aย Financial Peace Jr.ย edition that really ties into todayโs conversation. Letโs go ahead and listen in to todayโs episode of Focus on the Family as we talk with Dave Ramsey in his own studios.
Body:
Jim: Hey, Dave, welcome back to Focus in Nashville.
Dave: Well, thank you. Itโs an honor to be with you guys, an honor to have you in our home. Weโre glad youโre here with us – obviously, not my home, but it is our – our offices.
Jim: Close enough. You…
Dave: Southern hospitality counts, so…
Jim: You probably live nearby, right?
Dave: Oh, about seven minutes. Thatโs my commute, yeah. But…
Jim: Okay, now weโre jealous. But, uh, letโs go right there with kids that are launching today, younger kids. It breaks your heart, I know, that kids are going off to college or maybe going off for vocational training – theyโre just not prepared to manage money. Theyโre getting into debt way too soon. Whatโs happening in the psychology of the country that kids are messing up so quickly in that area of finances?
Dave: Well, thereโs a whole lot of things going on, obviously. And, um, I think itโs kind of ironic that I get to do this with you guys. I mean, when I first met God, I was in my early 20s, and, uh, I didnโt know beans about anything. I was dumber than a rock. And, um, I turned on Christian radio. And thereโs this thing on there called Focus on the Family, and, um, started teaching me how to be a good dad. And I bought a book calledย Strong-Willed Childย because I had one.
Jim: Thatโs right, Dr. Dobson.
Dave: And that strong-willed child is Rachel Cruze, and she is now a New York Timesโ best-selling author and speaks all over the world, and…
Jim: Working with you.
Dave: It worked out. She works on the team here. Sheโs one of our Ramsey personalities. So itโs quite an honor for me to get to sit here with you guys. Thank you.
Jim: Well, we so appreciate that.
Dave: Thatโs 30 years ago, you know?
Jim: Yeah.
Dave: And here I am, the fruit of this ministry – in a very real way, our family is. So youโre right, kids are under attack, just like people are under attack, when it comes to the money subject. And, um, the problems are – theyโre just that we live in the most marketed-to culture in the history of the world, and kids are no exception. And moms and dads are out of control with their money, and so they donโt feel qualified to teach their own kids how to handle money.
Jim: Right.
Dave: They are qualified, but they donโt feel qualified.
Jim: Well, letโs start right there because I think, uh, in your material, thatโs what youโre saying. Mom and Dad have to kind of get their act together if their kids are gonna to see a good model, right?
Dave: Exactly. Rachel and I did a book together calledย Smart Money, Smart Kids. And itโs the book for parents on teaching your kids how to handle money. Itโs the implementation of the stuff in theย Financial Peace Jr. Kit, in a way. And in that, Rachel says, โMore is caught than taught.โ And how many of us have opened our mouth, and our mom or our dad came out?
(LAUGHTER)
Jim: Yeah, right.
Dave: You know? No matter how many times I said I was never going to do that, I did it. I just did that. I just did that. And the sameโs true with money. If your mom and dad are living in control with money, and theyโre showing you how theyโre doing that – Momโs a couponer, they do a budget, we saved up and paid cash for this vacation and itโs a privilege to get to go on this vacation, um. Or if every time – the opposite of that, of course, is every time thereโs stress, Mom goes and does retail therapy and runs up the credit card debt, or Dad goes and impulses a new car and says to Mom, look what I did, then thereโs a big fight about money. You know, both think both types of families are out there.
Jim: Right.
Dave: And the little people are watching. Theyโre watching. And theyโre going to do what you do. So the first thing parents can do to is teach your kids out of money to get their own act together.
Jim: And thatโs a good first step right there. Um, you actually believe that teaching your kids about money can be fun. Now, we got to explore that because most parents will say, โReally, itโs fun to do that?โ Why is it fun?
Dave: Well, because having some money gives you the option to do some stuff. Giving is fun. It really is fun. And what little kid doesnโt light up when they give? What little kid doesnโt light up when they get to go buy Celebration Barbie at Toys โRโ Them, you know? Buying stuffโs fun. It is. So money is fun. The trick is that we are teaching our kids not to be great children, but to become great adults. And if we teach our kids how to be great adults, that means we teach the fruits of the spirit, like self-control. And so the whole money thing is woven into a character development process that we need to teach our kids anyway. Most parents teach their kids to, you know, clean up the room. Why not attach some economic fun to that, you know?
Jim: Sure.
Dave: Most kids – teach the kid to mow the grass. I mean, my dad had me mowing the grass when I could just barely push the lawnmower, you know? Probably dangerous, but probably broke some child labor laws, but – you know? – but it didnโt kill me. It helped me learn how to work, how to sweat, how to get things done, you know?
Jim: Absolutely.
Dave: And so those kinds of things are just hugely valuable, and they are fun – if you donโt turn it into a formal – weโre going to have a mutual fund seminar on Tuesday night. Well, no 4-year-old wants to go to that.
John: It sounds, though – I can hear somebody saying, โWell, I shouldnโt have to pay my kid to clean their room. They should do it because itโs the right thing to do.โ
Dave: They should, they should. I agree. We always had chores at our house that were three things. Uh, one was just โcause I said so, and we need some help. One was itโs an act of love to your mom. And then some stuff we did because we wanted to attach an economic value to it, because we want to, even a 4-year-old year old, to say, โWhen I do work, thereโs money attached to that.โ The eco – emotional tie between money and work can start really, really early. And I meet 54-year-olds that still donโt have that emotional tie. They still donโt know money comes from work, you know? Iโm talking to โem, theyโre going, I got money problems. Well, you got an income problem โcause you donโt work much, you know?
(LAUGHTER)
Jim: Right.
Dave: And itโs like, you couldโve taught them that at 4. But some things you do just โcause youโre loving your mom well, and some things you do โcause youโre part of the family, uh, because we just need some help, and Iโm gonna do some things for you that way because Iโm your dad.
Jim: I really like that.
Dave: And some things you do because Iโm trying to create a teachable moment where that tie between the money and the work – money caused – is caused by work. Weโre not sending them into the salt mines. When theyโre 4 and they clean up their room, we know I cleaned up most of the room.
(LAUGHTER)
He picked up a little bit of it, but he gets all the high-five, โattaboysโ, youโre the best room cleaner that God has ever made, you are a rock-star room cleaner. And he walks around with his little chest stuck out with two $1 bills in his hand. Something just happened.
Jim: Let me ask you this because some parents will have a more perfectionistic orientation, and they struggle with that. If the roomโs not done well…
Dave: Yeah.
Jim: …Then you failed. And they can communicate that in so many ways. This is more of a parenting issue than a finance issue.
Dave: Yeah.
Jim: But even in this area of finances, we can really crush our little kidsโ spirits, canโt we?
Dave: Youโve got to be age-appropriate is what it amounts to. Iโm gonna expect a lot more excellence from a 12-year-old than I am a 4-year-old, you know?
Jim: Rightfully.
Dave: And a whole lot more from an 18-year-old. โCause youโre getting ready to leave, and we hope you stay gone. So…
(LAUGHTER)
Jim: But age-appropriate, uh, yeah. Age-appropriate is the rule, yeah.
Dave: Weโre not sending the 4-year – Iโm not going to – thereโs a lot of grace with a little kid. Iโm just trying to get the concept in. And I meet these moms who are like, โNo, he didnโt save up for the tax, heโs 4, and so he didnโt get to buy the toy.โ Oh, my goodness, lady, lighten up…
Jim: Right.
Dave: …You financial Pharisee. Unbelievable, you know? Itโs a little kid.
Jim: Well, letโs move into that a bit. You donโt like the word โallowanceโ, if I read the material correctly. I mean, you like more of a contract. This is the job, Iโm hiring you. You set up a – a day – a payday for your kids.
Dave: Mmhmm. Mmhmm.
Jim: Just go through that methodology a little bit. Why is allowance, as a word or a term, uh, something you shy away from?
Dave: Well, words are powerful. They deliver a message. If I make allowance for you, it means you are deficit. It means that youโre lacking. Youโre not capable. You donโt have dignity. You donโt have ability. So I have to make allowance for you. And, uh, I donโt want my kids thinking that way. Iโm an entrepreneur, uh, and so we put our kids on commission. Work, get paid. Donโt work, donโt get paid.
John: So – so thatโs the difference between commission and allowance?
Dave: No, a lot of parents pay allowance just exactly like that.
John: Okay.
Dave: Itโs just a word, but to me, that word nuance transfers something in our culture. It doesnโt help the 4-year-old, but it helps the parents go, โThis is about performance on this particular thing.โ Weโre going to have some grace on the 4-year-old, weโre going to be tougher on the 14-year-old, but this is about performance because, guess what – when you – everyone is on straight commission. All of you that think youโre on a salary, try not going to work for two weeks, see if they keep paying you, okay? Unless you take vacation time, you get paid when you go to work. You donโt go to work, you donโt get paid.
Jim: And this underlying theme, again, is to help your child launch as a young adult.
Dave: Exactly. And, you know, you put character traits in place child developmentally in this process that cause them to be able to win. So yeah, itโs just a simple thing. But then you have to have the discussion, even with the 6-year-old who didnโt feed the dog, and I had to feed the dog otherwise dogโs gonna get skinny, you know, โI had to do your dadgum work this week, kiddo. So you know what, you donโt get paid on the dog feeding part.โ
Jim: And thatโs great. Now some parents…
Dave: You want him to feel it a little bit.
Jim: You know, again, weโve got to represent the parents out there, โThat is too brutal, Dave. Man, really, cโmon – thatโs too brutal.โ
Dave: Itโs not brutal.
(LAUGHTER)
Itโs $2. Heโs 6, he gets it. He knows what he didnโt do.
Jim: Right. And that reinforces it.
Dave: She knows – she knows she didnโt do that. Just like you donโt allow them to walk around and get Dโs and Fโs in school. Youโre going to enforce some homework. They need to take a bath, and every 9-year-old boy lies about that…
Jim: At least every other day.
Dave: …You know, you need to teach them to bathe, right? I mean, these are parent basic life skills that weโre teaching them. And teaching someone to work, to give, to save and to spend appropriately are life skills. Age-appropriately, you develop that and more and more sophisticated as they go along, and ding, ding, youโve got an adult that can function.
Jim: Now, letโs get practical. The 3 to 5 – letโs go through some of those ages and stages and things that you recommend. So 3 to 5, what are the chores that those kids can be expected to perform, generally?
Dave: Most of the time one thing or two things, maybe a room cleaning. And, again, Mom and Dad are really involved and actually doing the work, okay? So itโs – itโs a pep rally about room cleaning. Itโs not, go to your room and clean it, you 3-year-old. What? You know. So you just do it age-appropriately, kid-appropriate – train up a child in the way he should go, and the way he is bent…
Jim: Right.
Dave: … The old King James says.
Jim: Sure.
Dave: The way heโs designed. And so you do it differently with different kids. But, again, something simple, and itโs just like, youโre 3 years old, you just did something that instantaneously, you donโt wait for a payday on a 3-year-old – right then. They did the work, hereโs a little money. And itโs just a dollar. Wad it up, Iโm gonna put it in a clear jar so it takes up space. You know, I want it to take – visually grow in front of you, and – โcause weโre trying to create a lesson. This is not an economic transfer. This is a lesson is all it is. Itโs weโre trying to get a spiritual and philosophical something ingrained here.
Jim: Right, and again, two or three things, very simple, for the week that they can do. Six to 8? What about that age?
Dave: Iโm gonna crank it up a little bit. At that age, I had a little chore list. And, uh, with our kids, we had about five things for them to do, and they got like, a buck a thing. Uh, inflation – you might be two bucks a thing now, I donโt know, but our kids are 30, so. A buck a thing. Feed the dog when you get up this week, you get your buck – dollar. You know, clean your room, you get your dollar. You help in the kitchen because you love your mom, thatโs not on the list. You know, you got some other stuff here. And, uh, some parents put on there some behavior things as well, like language, um, or talking back or something, if they want to put something else on there. But Iโve basically put little chores of some kind on there, five things, and if you missed one of them, then you got $4. If you miss two of โem, you got $3. And we had payday on Sunday night, and we didnโt always do payday – sometimes we were busy, sometimes we forgot, sometimes I didnโt have enough $1 bills laying around. You know, so…
Jim: Now youโre talking my language.
Dave: My kids, actually, I had grace on me, in other words. But our kids actually, if you ask them, to this day, they think we did it every Sunday night. I donโt know how they think that, because we didnโt. We really werenโt that consistent.
Jim: Right.
Dave: But we just did it enough, and it was tied to it, and there was always a discussion – sit down on the couch, sit down on the floor, count out the ones. Okay, now get your little envelopes out.
Jim: So really involved?
Dave: Yeah, yeah, weโre going to have a little meeting here, and weโre going to call you out, and, you know, you didnโt do this, and so you donโt get paid on that. Good job on this. Last week you didnโt do it, you picked it up this week, and so high-five on that, kiddo. And, you know, theyโre trash talking each other a little bit, you know.
(LAUGHTER)
I mean, itโs fun. And we just had a good time with it. It was 10 minutes.
Jim: Yeah.
Dave: But we had a little chore chart, and we check off if you did it or not. And if you didnโt do the work, you didnโt get paid. Youโre on commission.
Jim: And it gets them used to that environment. This is it.
Dave: Because if you donโt work, you donโt get paid in the real world.
John: Dave Ramsey is our guest today on Focus on the Family. Weโre talking about training your children to learn more about money and how to manage it well. And our discussion is based on Daveโsย Financial Peace Jr., which offers hands-on nuts and bolts, age-appropriate content. And youโll find that at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or when you call 800-A-FAMILY – 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.
Jim: Hey, Dave, we got to finish that train of thought now. Weโve got 3 to 5, 6 to 8. Youโre ramping it up a little bit. What about 9 to 12?
Dave: Um, Iโm going to add some complication to the chore. Feeding the dog is a very simple thing, but I want a complication to the chore where you actually have to think through the concept, not just a task.
Jim: Huh.
Dave: And so something a little bit more complicated. Um, if it were, for instance, yardwork, um, you not only have to cut the grass, you got to weed eat. You got to make sure the beds are mulched, and you got to make sure theyโre weeded. And, um, you know, a little bit of a trimminโ of the bushes. You need to think ahead of me and anticipate what Iโm going to want if I want a great yard. And so Iโm going to ratchet up my expectation there a little bit, get some conceptual thinking instead of just some concrete singular thinking. And thatโs what weโre trying to encourage there. And that opens up their ability to do critical thought around the subject of economics.
Jim: Right.
Dave: Around the subject of money.
Jim: You also talk about, uh, developing your own small businesses for these kids – for the kids to do that. Is that harder today? I mean, Iโm thinking our – our paper person drives a car, and, you know, tosses the paper out their window. Are there opportunities for kids still today to do those little things?
Dave: You know, itโs easier in some ways because theyโve got, uh, the internet tools available to โem. And so, um, a teenager that wants to babysit can jump on Craigslist.
Jim: Thatโs true.
Dave: And, um, they donโt have to walk door-to-door and hand out fliers like we would have done. Um, same thing if you wanted to do a dog walking service in the neighborhood, or, you know, whatโs really big in – in a wealthy neighborhood or a semi-wealthy neighborhood is people going on vacation, and they want the kid to come up and babysit the dog at their house and check the house.
Jim: Right.
Dave: And theyโll pay a lot for that because if you priced a kennel while youโre on vacation, versus having the local kid come up, we got two or three kids in our neighborhood right now. We keep them busy when weโre gone…
Jim: Yeah.
Dave: With our puppies, you know?
Jim: Thatโs good. And to encourage it. Uh, what about the shy child? I mean, weโre doing that – kind of not the self-starter in that way, theyโre a little more withdrawn just because of the way theyโre made. How do you motivate a child that, โYeah, that sounds good, but I really donโt want to do thatโ?
Dave: Theyโre not necessarily – you donโt have to be some kind of extrovert, um, you know, uh, miniature entrepreneur nerd kid to pull this off. You know, sometimes a shyer child can do something within their strengths. It could be writing. It could be something that they do in an introverted environment that still creates money. It doesnโt necessarily mean that thereโs people interaction every time money is created because thatโs also true in the real world. Weโve got shy children that work on our team now called adults. But they, uh, you know, a lot of them are our creatives. A lot of them are our content team. A lot of them are developers. And so, um, youโd be amazed what kind of web stuff a 14-year-old introverted kid can pull off.
Jim: Right.
Dave: And how much code they can write.
Jim: Let me…
Dave: They can probably build websites better than some adults.
Jim: So true. And, I guess, the more critical question is that self-starter mentality. Thatโs something a parent…
Dave: Thatโs not an inherent introvert thing.
Jim: Right. Thatโs something all parents…
Dave: Initiative is independent of character style.
Jim: Right.
Dave: Initiative is something you want to teach.
Jim: Right.
Dave: Um, and so that, you know, the world doesnโt owe you a living kind of stuff – old-school stuff, right? The world doesnโt owe you a living. Youโre not a victim. Youโre not stuck. If itโs to be, itโs up to me. You got to leave the cave, kill something and drag it home, bubba.
Jim: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
Dave: I mean, youโve got to walk them through that because thatโs gonna be their reality.
Jim: Oh, without a doubt.
Dave: And where our kids are so disappointed – if you talk to someone in their 20s today, who is so disappointed – is that they were set with an expectation that this was gonna be easy – this thing called life. And itโs not. It doesnโt have to be harsh, but itโs not easy.
Jim: Well, and children learn so much through a valley, right? And as a parent, if you can create that valley in such a way that will teach the lesson without terrible severity…
Dave: Yes.
Jim: …Thatโs a good thing.
Dave: Yeah, I want to do that because the severity – if you donโt teach them how to run their checkbook when theyโre 16, theyโll learn it when theyโre 36, and itโs very expensive.
Jim: Exactly right. I do want, on behalf of the listeners – for those parents or grandparents that are noticing their child or grandchild who doesnโt want to do chores, itโs more of a behavioral issue – what can you do to move them in a better direction? What did you do to motivate your kids that were maybe sluggish doing the chores?
Dave: Well, the way we looked at it was, weโre going to make it fun. Weโre going to tie some money to it. And if that doesnโt move the needle, we got a problem later, okay? So weโre going to try all that stuff first. So letโs go back to our example of sitting in the living room floor on Sunday night paying out the commissions, and the dog hasnโt been fed for the third week in a row. Now what Iโve got is not an economic issue – Iโve not got a financial lesson problem – now Iโve got an obstinate kid thatโs not doing what theyโre told.
Jim: Exactly right.
Dave: And so this is like, three days in a row you havenโt brushed your teeth. As your dad, I love you so much, I am going to make you learn lessons that allow you to be successful as an adult. Those include doing your studies at school. Those include being kind to your sister. Those include work. And so this is no longer about whether Iโm going to pay you or not. That didnโt seem to work. Now youโre just gonna feed the dog…
(LAUGHTER)
…Or you and I are going to have a different kind of problem…
Jim: So you just lay it out there.
Dave: …And you donโt want to have that problem. So because itโs my job as your dad to make sure you learn these lessons, honey, and if I allow you to just continually – I donโt wanna do it, I donโt wanna do it, I donโt wanna do it – at some point, I donโt want to do it when it comes to brushing your teeth, I donโt care. Youโre brushing them anyway. I donโt want to do it. I donโt want to study. I donโt care, youโre going to study. I donโt wanna do my chores. At some point, youโre not learning the lesson I need you to learn as your dad. Itโs not that I need the dog fed. I can probably handle that, okay? Itโs that I need you, as my son, as my daughter, to learn to work and tie that to money. And so at the end the day, it becomes a parenting thing of, are the inmates in charge or not?
Jim: Exactly right. Now, weโve talked about that age-appropriate application and that approach to the appropriate chores, appropriate dollars. What do you think is reasonable today when youโre talking about that younger set – a dollar or two?
Dave: Yeah. You know, it – the funny thing is it doesnโt matter, you know? In that little bit, in those little ones, a buck for cleaning the room…
Jim: Right.
Dave: …Right then, a dollar right then, the $5 I did 30 years ago might still work. If you want to double it, you could double it. I donโt care. Some people say, you know, the amount of age you are, you know, per month or per week – your 14-year-old gets $14 a week or whatever – I didnโt do all that. By the time our kids got above 12, there was a lot more money involved in everything because their life was touching a lot more things. It gets more expensive…
Jim: It gets more expensive.
Dave: Right. You know, 3-year-olds donโt do the same stuff 13-year-olds do.
Jim: Maybe 20, 30 bucks – something like that.
Dave: Yeah, yeah. But I donโt want to turn into an ATM for the teenager.
Jim: Right.
Dave: So Iโve got to scale this up as they go along. So that 13-year-old – itโs not the first time they ever heard, โOh, you have to work for money.โ Theyโve been hearing it since they were 3. So itโs not a new lesson. Itโs just a new discussion of the same lesson. And thatโs the problem. If you surprise a teenager whoโs never had to do anything that now suddenly they have to do work, that – youโre going to have a problem.
Jim: Yeah.
Dave: You know, youโre gonna have a rebellion on your hands because itโs brand new information to them.
Jim: Now the fun part is spending.
Dave: Yeah.
Jim: So youโve mentioned that. So how do we get to the spending part – the fun part – the โWeee!โ part?
Dave: Well, what we did inย Financial Peace Jr.ย was we put the chore chart in there for your refrigerator, so itโs dry-erase, so you can check off the chores. Then you have that payday, so work equals money. Then when you have the payday, you divide the money into three categories. Thereโs three envelopes in there – an envelope that says โSavingโ, an envelope that says โGivingโ, and an envelope that says โSpendingโ. So you get to spend your spending money. Now hereโs where parents that are little too hardcore need to really have a lot of grace – let them blow their spending money.
Jim: Yeah. A lot of…
Dave: Let them mess up.
Jim: A lot of parents just went, โWhat?!โ
Dave: Yeah. โThatโs not a good thing!โ
(LAUGHTER)
And they had this long discussion with this 8-year-old. Shut up, let them blow it. Let them just enjoy money a little bit. And now, if they get ready to buy something and they got two things, you go, โOkay, hereโs something to think about. If you buy the cheap one, itโs gonna break in three weeks. If you wait a couple of weeks, you can buy the better built one, and youโll probably have it to give to your kids.โ Now, and you – then let them do it. Let them make the mistake. Let them make the mistake.
Jim: Yeah.
Dave: And if they buy the cheap one, when it breaks, you go, โTold you so. Now next time Iโm giving you advice, Iโm here to help ya. Iโm not here to punish ya. Iโm here to help – Iโm guiding ya. Iโm the older guy whoโs been there, done that.โ So youโd walk them through value propositions, but then let them mess up, as long as you help them learn the lesson while theyโre messing up. Theyโre not gonna die over it. And the economics of the household are not gonna fall apart because they bought the wrong Barbie.
John: But Dave, thereโs a whole โnother program there because โLet them mess upโ might be one personโs approach to that child. But the spouse may not have the same perspective. In other words, this could be a marital conflict in the making. If Iโm saying, โGo ahead and blow it, kid, I donโt care,โ and my wife is saying, โWell, wait a minute, thatโs not teaching him good – good responsibility.โ
Dave: No, Iโm not saying, blow it, kid, I donโt care. Iโm saying, I care, I donโt think thatโs a good idea, honey, but Iโm gonna let you do it anyway because youโre gonna mess up. And Iโm gonna remind you when you messed up because Iโm teaching you on your spending. Itโs not that I donโt care. Itโs not laissez faire. Iโm stepping back. But all parenting is a potential marital conflict.
(LAUGHTER)
Jim: And we all know that. Itโs called pillow talk after the kids are in bed.
John: Yeah, I was speaking on behalf of – I was talking about a friend of mine.
Dave: Yeah, I know this guy. I know this guy.
John: Not me. Iโve never had this problem, yeah.
Jim: Yeah, without a doubt – Dave, this has been so good. Thereโs more questions we gotta get to. And, uh, letโs come back next time and cover more detail in this area. I, uh, so appreciate what youโve done for adults and what youโre doing for children throughย Financial Peace Jr.ย And Iโve got teenagers, and I still need to apply some of these great ideas to their environment at 15 and 17. Could we do that? Could we come back next time?
Dave: Absolutely. I would be more than honored. Iโm honored to be with you guys. Thanks for being here.
Closing:
John: And youโll hear one last question from Jim to Dave in just a minute about what to do if you have a teenager and you havenโt taught them money management. Jim, are you there?
Jim: Yeah, Iโm right there. Hey, I love Daveโs fresh and fun approach and I know Iโve been inspired, and I hope you have too to take a more active role with my kids when it comes to finances.
And as weโre kicking off a new year and making new financial goals, for our own kids and families, weโre also making them for Focus on the Family. And one of those goals is to get more friends like you to become a monthly supporter to Focus. When you commit to donating on a regular basis, you allow us to syndicate this broadcast, which means you allow us to pay the bills to air on stations around the country and around the world. You also allow us to expand our ministry by developing more online audio resources through our podcasting efforts to reach a younger generation, those 20 and 30 something married couples and moms and dads.
So if you listen regularly, but have never considered being a monthly supporter, could I ask you to pray about it? And if you can, support the ministry here at Focus on the Family to touch more lives. And if you make a monthly pledge today of any amount, I want to send you a copy ofย Financial Peace Jr.ย as a thank you gift. And as Dave mentioned, this includes a magnetic chore board, which I have found helpful when the kids were a little younger, envelopes to keep the dollars organized and an activity guide and stickers and guidelines for each age group. This is a great exercise to teach your kids or your grandkids about finances.
John: And if youโre not able to make a monthly pledge right now, perhaps you can make a one-time gift and weโll gladly send you the kit,ย Financial Peace Jr.ย You can also get a download of the free resource called, โAvoiding Chore Warsโ with your kids at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY.
Letโs go ahead Jim and hear that last question that you had for Dave Ramsey.
Jim: Dave, right at the end, the parents that are saying, we have blown it – we have that 14, 15-year-old, we havenโt done these things, they donโt handle money well, weโve always looked the other way. What hope do they have? What can they do?
Dave: If you had blown it with your 14 or 15-year-old in another area of parenting and you ignored that area up until this time, what would you do? I know what I would do. I would sit down with them and go, โGuys, Iโve really messed up. Youโre 14 and I never talked to you about this. I should have been talking to you about this since you were 4. Iโm so sorry. The bad news is your dad is messed up. The good news is Iโm going to fix it. And the bad news is that means youโre going to have some problems. Iโm getting ready to bring some problems into your life because I just discovered that I have goofed up as a dad, and Iโm going to fix that but youโre not going to like it. So here we go. Get ready to ride.โ
Jim: I love it. I love it.
Dave: โI apologize for the mess up, but that doesnโt mean I surrender my rights as a dad. As a matter of fact, Iโm taking my job as Dad really seriously, my job as Mom really seriously, going forward. And itโs stuff youโve never done, and youโre going to be uncomfortable. Iโm probably going to be uncomfortable doing it. But, dude, I got to teach you this because youโre not going to be a man, youโre not going to be a full grown woman if I donโt teach you these skills. And I – weโre late to the party, but weโre going to the party.โ
John: Some great concluding thoughts from Dave Ramsey and I hope youโll join us tomorrow for more. On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, Iโm John Fuller thanking you for tuning in and inviting you back again as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ.



