“Heartbreak is a powerful thing,” says Lexie, a witty 10-year-old whose pre-adoption life is shrouded in mystery. “I had heartbreak, and it was really hard to fix.”
When she was seven years old, Lexie began to notice she was different than the rest of her family. Her hair and skin were darker, her eyes were almond-shaped, and she had a bump on her lip leftover from cleft palate surgeries. Lexie began to ask why.
Lexie’s adoptive family never hid the fact that they adopted her. When she wanted to learn more about her birth family, they were happy to fill Lexie in on whatever facts they knew about her life and family in China. However, they had limited knowledge. The only known fact about Lexie’s birth mother was that she had swaddled baby Lexie in a towel and left her on the steps of a police station.
For as long as she could remember, Lexie was confident that her adoptive family loved her. Still, she wanted to know more regarding her adoption journey. Questions came up about her birth mother which then led to doubts about her individual self-worth. Concerns seemed to multiply as time passed. Soon, Lexie found herself riddled with questions, some with potentially disheartening answers.
“Why did my mother give me up?”
“Did she not want me?”
“Did she not love me?”
Seeing Life Through A Broken Heart
Lexie’s greatest fear began to play out like a video in her mind. She would imagine the day she’d finally find her birth mother. From across a busy street, they’d make eye-contact. Right away, Lexie would know her: the woman who gave Lexie her black hair and almond eyes. It would be just like in the movies. She’d run for her mother, flinging her arms open for a big hug… but then the scene would turn dark. Her mother would suddenly push her away, angrily, and yell, “I gave you up because I didn’t want you! Why did you look for me?”
On the other hand, her mother might have placed her out of necessity because of China’s one-child policy. Lexie also knew that if her mother was poor, she might not have had the resources to provide Lexie with proper medical care. Still, the unanswered questions were enough to reduce Lexie to tears at the mention of China. Small things would trigger a rush of intense emotions. When her youth group would pray for the Christians in China, shame and guilt, mixed with anger and sadness overwhelmed her.
It wasn’t until Lexie attended a local church service that she found the cure for her broken heart — the truth, as spoken by God. In an interview with Focus on the Family, Lexie illustrates how the truth of God’s love helped heal her heart.
Scriptures for Healing A Broken Heart
The healing that Lexie received isn’t limited to her situation. Nor is it limited to only those who have experienced feelings of rejection after adoption. The Bible is full of scriptures that give us hope for God healing a broken heart, no matter the trauma that created it. Because of the love and relationship extended to us through the work of Jesus Christ, we have hope for total freedom and healing.
“Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? And not one of them will fall to the ground apart from your Father. But even the hairs of your head are all numbered.. Fear not, therefore; you are of more value than many sparrows..” — Matthew 10:29-31
“But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for his own possession, that you may proclaim the excellencies of him who called you out of darkness into his marvelous light. Once you were not a people, but now you are God’s people; once you had not received mercy, but now you have received mercy.” — 1 Peter 2:9-10
“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” — Psalm 34:18
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.” — Psalm 147:3
“My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever.” — Psalm 73:26
“For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” — Jeremiah 29:11
“Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28
“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.” — Revelation 21:4
“We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not driven to despair; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed; always carrying in the body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be manifested in our bodies.” — 2 Corinthians 4:8-10
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give to you. Not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your hearts be troubled, neither let them be afraid.” — John 14:27
Life After Healing
Lexie says she still has questions. She wonders if her birth mom and dad are still alive or if she has any siblings. Sometimes, she still daydreams about what it will be like to meet her birth mother. However, equipped with the truth of Scripture, her feelings do not control her now. Lexie is confident in how to deal with rejection and any other hard feelings that come up.