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Too Old to Foster?

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Am I too old to foster a child in the US?
How one couple helped a sibling group caught in the foster care system.

Ginny and Ted weren’t typical foster parents.

Finding each other later in life, they both had adult children and were in their 60s. “We were in good health,” Ginny says, “and I, particularly, wanted to give to children what my own foster family gave me.”

When a group of siblings—two boys, ages 8 and 3, and a 4-year-old girl—needed a place to stay, this couple took them in. The kids had been in six different homes in the previous two years. “The children wouldn’t even acknowledge us at first,” Ginny says.

God showed Ginny that a word like love might not have the same meaning to children who had experienced such pain. It had become an empty word.

Sitting with him

am I too older to foster in the US grandparent senior kid child

Ginny and Ted’s first priority was to address the violence between the children. Every day they prayed for God’s help and guidance, and they also tapped into the resources available to them. “It was serious,” Ginny says, “not just bickering. We would separate [them] and talk to them about treating others as they would like to be treated.”

The oldest brother’s violence was most concerning. Ginny says, “The psychologist suggested that I have [him] sit awhile to learn to calm himself.”

Ginny decided to sit with him and hold his hand for short periods of time, with no interference from his siblings. Eventually, the time increased to 20 minutes. The one-on-one time became important to him, and he even began reminding Ginny that he needed it.

“That was a great moment!” she says. “He was actually asking for our time together.”

On to adoption

Ginny and Ted faced other challenges with the children, but God provided the wisdom they needed to help the siblings heal. Eventually, all three were adopted into permanent homes—the younger two in one and the oldest in another. Though giving them up after being with them over a year was painful, Ginny knew they needed permanent families.

“Ted and I were too old to raise these little ones to adulthood,” she says.

 Now, more than a decade later, Ginny and Ted have remained in the children’s lives. Because of serious health problems, they have been unable to foster additional children. Still, they are grateful that God blessed them with these wonderful kids.

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