When Abortion Isn’t an Option

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A girl in pink shoes stands between three abortion options: yes, maybe, no.
Abortion Isn't an Option - Adobestock
I grew impatient as I gave the same reply over and over, “Because this is my baby!” In all the abortion discussions I had, I felt I was defending my daughter’s right to live.

Having an Abortion (or Not)

I wasn’t actually pregnant, was I

As I stared at the results of the pregnancy test, I leaned back against the wall and slid to the ground. Sitting on the bathroom floor, my situation felt more like a scene from a movie than my own, real life. It was the end of my senior year of high school. I was only 17. 

When the news broke, several well-intentioned friends and adults expressed their “support” of me getting an abortion. They explained, “You have so much opportunity ahead of you. You’re still so young.”

But I wasn’t interested in having an abortion. And, unfortunately, that didn’t go over so well. 

“No offense, but really, why don’t you have an abortion?” One of my classmates asked.

“Why won’t you just consider an abortion?” A friend told me.

It was as though they couldn’t hear their own words.

I grew impatient as I gave the same reply over and over, “Because this is my baby!” In all the abortion discussions I had, I felt I was defending my daughter’s right to live.

When I worked up the nerve to tell my parents, it felt more of a relief. I knew they would support me in choosing not to abort my baby.

Looking back, I have never once regretted or even questioned that decision. What boggles my mind, though, is how incredibly sure I was. Though young, I was unwavering in my resolve. What I didn’t realize until years later was that God had been preparing me for this event long before I was born.

God's Protection

In May of 1980, my mother was 25 and had a 2-year-old and newborn. Her community proposed building a “women’s clinic” that would perform abortions. My mother was in favor of it.

But, one day that month, while flipping through the channels, she stopped on a Christian television program she hadn’t seen before. She listened as a preacher shared about Jesus. Much of what he said was new to her. Following the program, she called the number on the screen to pray with someone. That afternoon, she gave her life to Christ and received the Holy Spirit. 

Something instantly changed within her. As if a fog lifted, she immediately understood that abortion was wrong. Of all the things the Holy Spirit might have opened her mind to understand, His first priority was to protect the life of my mother’s granddaughter.

My mother spent the next decade heavily involved in the pro-life movement. By the time I came along six years later, she was attending rallies and events and passing out information. She didn’t just do it alone—she brought her children. 

Abortion, Parenting, Adoption: An Important Decision

My mother never shied away from teaching me about the reality and tragedy of abortion. More importantly, she taught me, “Adoption is an option.” My mother had no clue what I would face at 17. She was simply following the convictions God’s Spirit placed in her heart. As a result, the truth was crystal clear to me, too.

Abortion was not an option in my mind. That was final. The only question that remained now was adoption. Over lunch one day, I told my mother I would probably make an adoption plan. In fact, I had already considered my older, married sister as a good candidate.

“Well, adoption is an option,” she said, “but it isn’t to be taken lightly. You need to be sure you’ll be okay with someone else raising your baby as their own.”

Next, my mother shared something that shifted the trajectory of everything: “You can do this. If you want to raise your baby, you can. And I’ll be here to help.”

I had been so concerned with defending the life of my baby, it hadn’t dawned on me that I could raise her. From that day on, I prepared to love her as my own.

Relevant Broadcast: Tonya Glasby and Claire Culwell

God's Preparation

On a cold January day in upstate New York, my daughter was born at a healthy 7 pounds, 15 ounces. The June following her first birthday, I married a handsome young man from church.

Fourteen years of marriage and four more kids later, we are now a happy family of seven. By God’s grace, we also have a wonderful relationship with my daughter’s birth father and his family. 

My daughter recently turned 16. I reminded her that her story didn’t just begin with her birth. It didn’t even begin with my birth. God was preparing for her that day He spoke to Grandma all those years before, and we are all so very glad He did.

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Your Teen Needs You Most of All

No parent of teens is perfect and even the best can learn how to better connect with their son or daughter. Get practical action steps to better connect with your teenager in 8 Essential Tips for Parenting Your Teen in this FREE video series!

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.

There Is Still Hope for Your Marriage

You may feel that there is no hope for your marriage and the hurt is too deep to restore the relationship and love that you once had. The truth is, your life and marriage can be better and stronger than it was before. In fact, thousands of marriages, situations as complex and painful as yours, have been transformed with the help of professionals who understand where you are right now and care deeply about you and your spouse’s future. You can restore and rebuild your marriage through a personalized, faith-based, intimate program called, Hope Restored.
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Understand How to Respect and Love your Son Well

Why doesn’t my son listen to me? Have you ever asked that question? The truth is, how you see your son and talk to him has a significant effect on how he thinks and acts. That’s why we want to help you. In fact, we’ve created a free five-part video series called “Recognizing Your Son’s Need for Respect” that will help you understand how showing respect, rather than shaming and badgering, will serve to motivate and guide your son.

Reconnected: The Digital Experience

Is the love there, but not the spark? Reawaken fun in your marriage and move from roommates to soulmates again with the help of this 7-part online video experience. Learn how to connect emotionally and spiritually as husband and wife using techniques such as dreaming together and establishing deep, heartfelt communication. The Digital Experience includes 7 teaching videos, an online study guide and access to additional tools and resources to help spouses reconnect.

Next Steps: Marriage Assessment

We want your marriage to be thriving and healthy. Take the free Marriage Assessment from Focus on the Family to learn how to strengthen your bond with your spouse and get the tools to help you need to grow closer together. 

Next Steps: Fruit of the Spirit Devotionals for Couples

The Fruit of the Spirit Devotional is a free series of nine short videos to get you into God’s Word and inspire you to seek the Holy Spirit’s help in loving your spouse.

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