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Drawing Closer to God and Each Other (Part 1 of 2)

Drawing Closer to God and Each Other (Part 1 of 2)

Author Gary Thomas explains how a husband and wife can foster oneness in their marriage by pursuing God together.  (Part 1 of 2)

Original Air Date: October 6, 2014

Opening:

Excerpt:

Gary Thomas: The best marriages I’ve seen are marriages where the two people live for something outside of themselves and that’s the kingdom of God. They have purpose. They don’t let the small stuff become the big stuff. Look, if you’re working on a task, if you’re seeing people’s lives change, these little things that husbands and wives so often fight about, they just don’t matter.

End of Excerpt

John Fuller: That’s Gary Thomas and you’ll hear more from him today on Focus on the Family about finding that common purpose with your spouse. Your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly, and I’m John Fuller.

Jim Daly: Uh… most of us get married because we want to be happy and we want to be loved. It’s very normal. God wants that for us, too. But He also wants so much more for us in our marriages, and that is to spur one another on in our relationship with God.

One reason marriages get stuck is because we want our spouse to change. To meet our needs instead of changing ourselves to meet our spouse’s needs. And that is the simple beauty, and the truth of marriage, in my opinion. 

Today, Gary is going to challenge us to take hold of a bigger vision for our marriages and become the husband or wife that our spouse needs. I think that’s a bold statement. Um… here at Focus on the Family we want to help you thrive in your marriage. We have so many articles, resources, and downloads to help you in your marriage, as well as a team of caring Christian counselors that are available on staff to talk with you and help you walk through whatever situation you may be facing.

John: Yeah. Our number, if you’d like to talk to somebody, is 800-A-FAMILY. 800-232-6459. And online, you’ll find these great resources at focusonthefamily.com/radio.

And Gary Thomas is typically, one of the most popular guests we feature here on Focus on the Family. He and his wife, Lisa, live in Houston, and have three grown children. He is a best-selling author of a number of books including A Lifelong Love: How to Have Lasting Friendship, Intimacy, and Purpose in Your Marriage. And with that, let’s go ahead and hear how the conversation got underway.

Body:

Jim: Gary, let’s start right there. It is a pretty uh … veiled selfish act, isn’t it? We marry people ‘cause they’re making us feel so good about ourselves when we’re courting.

Gary: Right. And in one sense, the … that’s understandable and I don’t think there’s necessarily anything wrong with that. But I look at it like this. That’s the whipped cream. Uh … go back to one of my favorite desserts, an ice cream sundae. They didn’t start building the ice cream sundae by saying, what can I put under the whipped cream? Or what could I put under a cherry? And then under the whipped cre … ? It starts out with an ice cream sundae is built on ice cream.

And I think our happiness and our fulfillment is sort of the whipped cream. But I want to call people back to the ice cream, which I actually think is worship. I think that’s the best foundation for a fulfilling life and a fulfilling marriage. So, we’ve taken the whipped cream and made it the main thing. I want to go back to the new substance that we sustain our marriages primarily through worship.

Jim: Before we really get there though, you had a … kind of a dramatic “ah-ha” moment in your own marriage. Describe how this revelation came to you.

Gary: I was praying one time and it … it was like a 2 x 4, Jim, when I realized I’d gotten married for primarily selfish reasons. [I] liked the way my wife looked. Uh … we laughed together. I thought she would be a good mom. And it’s understandable. You’ve gotta make those decisions when you’re deciding who to marry.

But when I looked at the fact that it was getting married because this is what you’ll bring to me and talking to so many couples, nobody has really questioned me. I said, “Didn’t you get married for primarily selfish reasons? You thought you’d have a better life married to this person than not, or married to this person instead of that person.”

And when we realize that selfishness is what draws most marriages together, and what I’m gonna suggest is, that perhaps God designed marriage to attack our selfishness. That’s when we realize we need to get on God’s page to really go deeper into our marriages and appreciate the fullness of marriage. Otherwise, what happens is, we have a great three years, while we fulfill our selfish needs and then a frustrating 30 years as we say, “What happened to what we used to have?”

Jim: I … you know, I’ve uh … realized that and I’d say only in the last couple of years, that idea that … that selfish core, that … what … maybe what God did here–and I always say it in a sense of humor– is bringing two opposite people together and then it helps you to work on your selflessness, to make us more like Him. That’s what you’re saying, isn’t it?

Gary: Absolutely. When I got married, I thought my greatest need was to be loved. I wanted to find somebody who would always have my back, who would always be there, who would always look well, who would never say a … a hurtful word or do a hurtful thing, because I thought that was my greatest need.

And when my marriage changed is when I realized that God has already met that need. I’m loved as well as anybody could be loved. I’m loved as well as it’s possible to be loved. God has created me. He adores me. He knows me. He has saved me. He has redeemed me. And so, my greatest need isn’t to be loved any more than somebody who’s just pushed back from a Thanksgiving table, has the greatest need to be fed. I mean, love is a need and being fed is a need. But when the need has been met, your greatest need is something very different.

And for me, I realized, now my greatest need is to learn how to love. And I started going through the Scriptures and I … I … and we could go through dozens of passages. Love extravagantly. Love your enemies. Your love for each other should be increasing, so many passages where the Bible says, your greatest need is to learn how to grow in love.

And when I realized my greatest need wasn’t to be loved, but to learn how to love, then I looked at my days very differently. When I thought my greatest need was to loved, a good day was when I was noticed, appreciated, cared for and shown affection.

Now a good day, if I believe my greatest need is to learn how to love, is when I can notice, when I can show affection, when I can serve. So, it completely changed the grid by which I look at my marriage or what constitutes a good day in marriage.

Jim: What keeps us from that revelation? I mean, why don’t most of us understand this? Is it be … simply because as human beings, we’ve very selfish?

Gary: I think selfish is a big one. I think pride is another. I honestly think most of us and I … look, I’m including myself here above all of this. I learned most of this stuff by messing up in the (Chuckling) area first. And—

Jim: How?

Gary: –for me … well …

Jim: I want a story.

Gary: Well, for … for me, it was … is pride. It was thinking that my marriage will be better when my spouse gets her stuff together. (Laughter) And … and most couples I talk to, Jim, uh … in pastoral counseling, that really is the moment where we have to come to that revelation. They come saying, “Will you please straighten out my spouse?” Instead of, “How can we bring God into this situation?”

Jim: In your book, A Lifelong Love, you talk about something. I love the term. It’s “magnificent obsession.”

Gary: Right.

Jim: Uh … it’s not a perfume. That’s good. (Laughter) But what uh … what do you mean by “magnificent obsession”?

Gary: The reality that we are married as two people who stumble in many ways, according to James 3:2 and that we have a lifelong love, addresses I think the two biggest challenges of marriage and that is frustration and boredom. Frustration that we’re called to love somebody who stumbles in many ways, not just a few ways, but in many ways. And then boredom, just because it’s the reality of human condition that frankly, none of us are so fascinating that we can keep somebody enchanted for five or six decades. (Laughter) 

And a magnificent obsession lifts our marriage up to another level. It’s going back to the ice cream instead of the whipped cream, where the more I have this Matthew 6:33, seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, my marriage just has a whole different tenor, because now my marriage is connected to worship.

And here’s what I found. Worship has become more important to me every year that I’ve lived. Uh … it becomes a part of who I am. I … I see God’s glory. I think the more you begin to taste and see God, the more you want of Him, the more you realize He’s even more beautiful than you imagined 10 years ago and even yet, more inviting. And so, when my love to my wife is connected to something that’s growing, i.e. worship of God, then my love for my wife grows.

Jim: Hm.

Gary: Now the part about boredom is just as simple. When Jesus says, seek first His kingdom, you can’t be satisfied with a selfish life, because we were created for more than that. If I got married for somebody to fulfill me, that’s even gonna get boring. Even if they’re fulfilling me, it’s gonna get boring. The way our brains operate, we just want something new.

But if we’re joined together to seek first God’s kingdom and we’re seeing God use us that that’s what we were made for, there’s no boredom in that. That’s as exciting as a marriage can get. Because if you accomplish the aim that God gave you, He’s got 100 other things He’s doing. He’s such an active God. He’s such a loving God.

The best marriages I’ve seen are marriages where the two people live for something outside of themselves and that’s the kingdom of God. They have purpose. They don’t let the small stuff become the big stuff. Look, if you’re working on a task, if you’re seeing people’s lives change, these little things that husbands and wives so often fight about, they just don’t matter so much.

Jim: Gary, we’ve gotta connect some of these dots, because you’re really … you … you put so much out there in just a few minutes. But uh … for that person that doesn’t understand that worship connection, uh … you need to describe that in terms of practical application. Uh … there have been times I know, especially in my 20’s and 30’s, when I just felt down and experienced that kind of worship and it brought my joy up. It brought my hope up. Um … you know, the Lord met me there in that point of need. Um … is that where you’re talking about, but to do it as a couple? What do you mean by worship in order to make your marriage healthy?

Gary: There was a moment in my marriage when I was not acting well as a husband. And I went to prayer and God Himself was convicting me, brought to mind, 1 John 3:1. “How great the love of the Father is for us, that we should be called children of God.” And when I realized that Lisa wasn’t just my wife, but she was His daughter that, that’s how He looks at her and that’s how He loves her and that’s who I was married to, from that moment on, everything about my marriage began to change.

Now having two daughters in their 20s, knowing how the greatest desire of my heart would be that they are loved well, knowing that I’m fully aware of how they stumble in many ways, the attitudes they can have, the actions that could be trying, if I saw a future son-in-law loving them in the midst of their faults, in the midst of their attitudes, literally nothing would please me more. There’s nothing they could do for me more than to love my girls, ‘cause they’ll always be my little girls.

And for me, when I realized how much God has given me, that I owe Him not only my life, but my new birth, my vision, my purpose, the grace that I live in so that I can look in the mirror even in the midst of all I’ve done and then God says to me, “And Gary, what I want you to do is love My little girl, like I’ve loved you.” How can I say no?

Jim: It changes …

Gary: I’m loving her out of reverence for God.

Jim: And it changes your perspective. I mean, that’s what you’re saying. It … it changes the way that you view that relationship, doesn’t it, profoundly.

Gary: I … I lost my earthly father-in-law and it was a terrible long drawn-out ordeal. He died of … of cancer, uh … which can be a terrible death. But the one thing cancer can give you, if I could put it this way, is you know it’s coming and you can have those conversations as opposed to an immediate heart attack or stroke.

And so, we would have conversations as the day was drawing nearer. And one I’ll never forget is actually a conversation we ended up having on the day he died. But before that he was talking about the rehearsal dinner that Lisa and I had had. Bill wasn’t a particularly sensitive guy. He didn’t cry a lot, but he broke down weeping at our rehearsal dinner.

And I had never seen him cry before that or really much after that and so, I was asking him about that. And he said, “Gary, when I looked at you standing next to Lisa at that dinner, I said to myself, ‘I don’t have to worry about Lisa. She’s gonna be okay. She’s found a man that’s gonna stand by her.’”

And now that I have two daughters in their 20’s. I … I get that. That’s the wish I think of every father. And so, when Bill asked to speak with me on the day he died, he … he literally asked me to pray that he could go home that day. He was just tired of fighting it. I just reminded him of that conversation, because I know as he knew, his eternal destiny was secure in Christ. If I was leaving that day to go with … be with Jesus, my one concern would be the family I’m leaving behind.

I reminded him and I said, “Bill, you don’t have to worry about Lisa. I’m gonna take care of her. I’m gonna love her. I’m gonna make sure she’s okay.” And realizing that, that’s how God looks at the wives that we married as His daughters. And women, that’s how God looks at your husbands who are His sons. Just as you so want your sons to be loved, not just in a stingy way, but generously, that’s how God wants your husbands to be loved through you. And so, when we worship a God Who is perfect, we’re motivated to love a spouse who’s imperfect out of reverence for the perfect God.

John: Well, some great thoughts from Gary Thomas on today’s “Focus on the Family.” And uh … this is the kind of program you’re going to want to get a copy of on CD or the download, so you can review it. Uh … I think, Jim, if … if I were to listen to this again, I’d glean all sorts of new insight that Gary is sharing here. There’s just so much.

Uh … the book that he’s written that addresses what we’re talkin’ about here today is A Lifelong Love. And you can find out more about it at www.focusonthefamily.com/radio .

Jim: Speak to that person who doesn’t know how to get unstuck. I mean, maybe he or she … they are bored. They are hitting that point in their marriage where it doesn’t seem to have the romance and the zip and you know, just the emotional connection anymore. Working hard, maybe they’re trying to save money, they just bought a house, whatever it might be, it just seems now to be the grind of life. Um … how do they lift their heads up and have their epiphany moment to say, “We could be living for so much more?”

Gary: What has helped me is to realize that even if I stop caring about my marriage, God cares about my marriage, because God cares so much about who I’m married to. 

And so, it’s recognizing how dear my wife is to God. And you might be married to this common woman or this common man and you seem ‘em in their most common moments, when they get out of bed and when they’re tired at the end of the day. But when you realize how dear they are to God, and it’s fine to say, “Lord, I need to recapture your heart for this person. I need to recapture your wonder for this person.” And God will help us do that when we understand God’s role, not just as our heavenly Father, but as a heavenly Father-in-law, because that’ what He is.

Jim: Gary, you talked in your book about the prosecuting attorney, you know, in relationships. Man, that … that resonated, because so often couples, and I do it, too, you get into discussions with your spouse and you do, you turn into the prosecuting attorney. What did you do? Why did you do it? How much did you spend? I mean, there’s so many ways to fill in the blank there.

Gary: Uh-hm.

Jim: Um … again, it seems so natural—

Gary: Yes.

Jim: –to our flesh to fall into that. And I would say some people would probably say, sometimes it’s practical. You have to have those discussions. How could you spend that much money on X? But um … you’re saying, refrain from doin’ that. Become the defense attorney. Talk about that.

Gary: I … I preached a sermon out at Second Baptist, Romans 8:31, “If God be for us, who can be against us?” And my goal in marriage is that I be as “for my spouse” as God is for me. And God is for me in the midst of my sin. Now He hates my sin. He wants the sin to stop, but there is never a moment when He stops being for me.

He’s a healing physician, not a prosecuting attorney. And so, He’s trying to woo me away from my sin. He’s convicting me in my sin. He’s saying, I don’t want that for you. It will destroy you. It will destroy your relationships. But He does it because He’s for me, not because of what it does to Him or for Him. And so, in the midst of my wife’s struggles or in the midst of my kids’ struggles, it’s how can I show you that I’m for you here? That I’m not lookin’ at this as how it aggrieves me or how it inconveniences me or how it embarrasses me, but because I want the best for you, as God wants the best for me.

And again, the only way I can get that is when I’m going to prayer and God forgives me and when I’m loved by God, I see how He loves me, which is why 1 John 4:19, we love … why? Because He first loved us. And when I realize, I have to bathe myself in God’s love. If I’m scrimping on worship, I become a much more demanding husband, because I’m not then living in the magnificent obsession. I’m like, look, I’m not getting what I need from God, so you’ve gotta start filling it up. And then it’s like, how do I fix my wife instead of how do I love my wife?

Jim: How do we close that gap though? I mean, you’re describing something that within Christendom particularly, there is what we want to be and then there’s reality when it comes to our Christian expression.  Gary: One, we have to be reminded of some of the same truths. One time uh … look, my wife and I have an agreement. When I give a marriage anecdote, I’m the bad guy. I mean, I … I would hate being married to a Christian writer or speaker (Laughter), because all your private stuff becomes public. So, usually when I give an analogy, it’s I’m the bad guy. But there’s one time when I was just frustrated with what my wife was doing. I … I could hear God’s voice so clearly. This is how your wife stumbles.

And I teach this. I preach on it just about every weekend, James 3:2, “We all stumble in many ways.” And God was saying, “Look, do you really believe this? I mean, you say you know it and then your wife stumbles and you’re like, why can’t I have a perfect wife?” And I would just say, look into your heart. Don’t you kind of resent the fact that your spouse isn’t perfect? Most of us do, but if we accept the scriptural reality, that we stumble in many ways and our spouse stumbles in many ways, it was helpful for me to say, okay, this is how my wife stumbles.

So, how do I help love her in the midst of that? Not denying it, but being sort of a healing presence in the midst of it. And I think that’s where love is built. I mean, love is built in understanding. Understanding isn’t blind. This is where we’re weak.

Uh .. one of the healthiest men I know, he’s really one of my best friends, he’s just so matter of fact. He goes, “Gary, that’s why I’m too harsh and that’s why you’re too passive.” You know, he just (Laughter) … he just throws that down. He didn’t sugar coat it and that’s why I still respect you. It’s just, look, I … I know you’re too passive. But he loves me and I respect him for it.

And I … I think that’s where you see real love in a marriage, when a husband can say, yeah, this is where my wife stumbles. Or a wife says, this is where my husband stumbles. But we love ‘em in the midst of it, because we know there are no perfect spouses to be found and so, then how do I be your partner in the midst of that?

Look, if I catch my now daughter-in-law, love and support my son in the midst of his stumbling, she still forgave him; she showed him grace. She lifted him up. She honored him. That would please me as much as anything that she could do. And that’s what I’m saying that we’re called to do for our own spouses. God looks at our spouses as His children and that’s really one of the best ways to honor Him, to worship Him, to serve Him, is to take care of His children. Nothing is dearer to God’s heart than His children, and we get the pleasure of being married to those children. Jim: To be able to do that though, Gary, it’s helpful to understand what’s causing us to be so quick to write a ticket for our spouse. I mean, why are we so quick to write a ticket when we’re not happy with an action of a statement or a purchase or whatever it might be. We’re quick with the ticket book. Why?

Gary: It goes back to, I believe, what we said earlier, that we think our greatest need is to be loved instead of to learn how to love. And when our spouse does something, we feel like, that’s not what I signed up for. You’re supposed to be fulfilling me. You’re supposed to be making me happy. If that’s why I got married and it’s not happening, then I’m frustrated. 

If I get married thinking my greatest need is to be loved and I’m not being loved, if my wife is having a bad day, if she’s tired, if she’s depressed, if she’s sick, I might even resent it. Jim, I’ve literally talked to husbands whose wives were laid out with a medical issue, feeling sorry for themselves, not for their wives, ‘cause now they have to step up to the challenge. That’s how selfish we can be. That’s how radical the love is that Jesus calls us to.

Jim: Hm.

Gary: And where this will cut so deeply for some of the listeners, where it will seem so pie-in-the-sky, is that Jesus just looks at our needs and our life so radically differently than we do. But here’s the thing. You can’t dress up selfishness. You can’t put a good coat on pride and say it looks attractive. Jesus wants to crucify our selfishness. He wants to crucify our pride. Until we want to crucify our selfishness and pride, we’ll resent when marriage puts a spotlight on it, rather than grow in the midst of that.

Jim: Hm.

Gary: In addition to recognizing our spouse stumbles in many ways, uh … the second question we need to ask is, why is my spouse the way they are? One woman one time was so frustrated with her husband the way he was acting. And she just went into prayer with that and at first, her prayers were, “Lord, why does he do this? Why is he that? Why is he this?” And she just finally … when she got to the end of her questions, she got to the beginning of God’s.

And she was blown away when God said, “Have you ever asked yourself, why he’s this way?” And she went back over his history, his recent history, how when they got married, his mom died soon thereafter, how he was in a successful business and his partners made some bad decisions that left him penniless and starting over and he was so humiliated he even had to move at middle age back into his dad’s house. And … and all of the things that happened and then she became disabled and she couldn’t help with the family budget and what not. And then all of a sudden, she said, “Of course, he’s acting out of stress. Of course he’s this. Of course he’s that.”

And I think so often that’s what we do. We become the prosecuting attorney and God wants us to be the defense attorney, where He’s saying, “Have you ever thought why they’re acting this way? What led them to …? Think about their parents. Think about their upbringing. Think about their hurts. Then we become part of the solution. Rather than laying down a sentence, we can be a healing presence in their life.

So, we recognize that every spouse stumbles in many ways. This is how my spouse stumbles. And then I have to ask, why does my spouse stumble this way, so that I can have the compassion and empathy, rather than resentment and frustration.

Jim: Well, and what we’re hearing is that heart. You have a heart. The Lord has opened these perspectives to you. Um … you know, there’s a couple of other concepts out of your book, A Lifelong Love, I’d like to cover, one which I think is funny, “A Monk’s Marriage.” And I’ll leave that there for next time, because I want you to come back next time to find out with me what a monk’s marriage analogy is all about. I’m intrigued by that. I didn’t know monks could be married. How about you, John?

John: (Laughing) Well, that could be the hook?

Jim: (Laughing) And then also the uh … the effect of the Holy Spirit in our lives, particularly in this of marriage and how we need to lean into the Holy Spirit. Um … so, let’s come back. Could we do that, Gary?

Gary: Yes, absolutely.

Jim: Let’s do it, come back and uh … talk about those concepts next time. 

Closing:

John: It’s always enjoyable having Gary Thomas in the studio with us. And if you’ve been inspired by the conversation to work on your relationship both with God, and your spouse, then we’re going to suggest you pick up a copy of A Lifelong Love, which weaves together historical understandings of marriage, as well as scripture, and some real wisdom applied to relationships.

Jim: Now, John, our conversation with Gary today, highlights why we exist here at Focus on the Family. Simply because, we want you to thrive in your marriage. We think it’s a wonderful testimony when Christians have that kind of marriage that others admire. 

Maybe you’ve been listening along today and your marriage is in a bad spot, or a tough spot, and you don’t know what to do. We have caring Christian counselors available on staff here, for free. They can give you an initial consultation, then refer you to someone in your local area.

They can also tell you about our Hope Restored program. This is a marriage intensive for couples on the brink of separation. Maybe you’ve even signed the divorce papers. Four out of five couples who go through this program, when surveyed two years later, are still together and doing better. So, it’s worth it to invest in your marriage if you’re in that spot.

John: Yeah. Take a step of faith if you’re struggling and call to find out more about Hope Restored or to talk to one of our counselors. 

Our number is 800, the letter “A,” and the word family. 800-232-6459.

Jim: And then for those of you who regularly appreciate and listen to the broadcast, would you make a donation for our work here? We have about six million listeners, and about 184 thousand folks support the ministry. 

So, if you’re listening and you haven’t supported Focus, can we count on you to help us? The money all goes back to producing programs like this one, and creating resources, including the counseling department, to be there for those couples who are hurting.

So, if you can, join our ministry team. Be part of what God is doing through Focus on the Family.

John: Make your donation. Join our team. And uh… help families world-wide. And uh… we’ll say “Thank you” by sending a copy of Lifelong Love to you. 

Our number is 800, the letter “A,” and the word family. Or online, you can donate and get resources at focusonthefamily.com/radio.

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Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Play Video

Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you! 

Focus on the Family

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