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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Finding Strength in Each Other’s Differences (Part 2 of 2)

Finding Strength in Each Other’s Differences (Part 2 of 2)

In a discussion based on their book Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti, Bill and Pam Farrel explain how a husband and wife can understand and appreciate one another's differences. (Part 2 of 2)
Original Air Date: April 13, 2011

Opening:

Recap:

Bill Farrel: What I see shuts guys down all the time is too much criticism, because you know, as guys, we’re all kinda awkward. And it’s easy in a person that you spend your whole time with, it’s easy to find things to criticize. And when a man gets too much criticism, he just starts to conclude, “I can’t succeed in this relationship, so I’m not gonna try.”

End of Recap

John Fuller: Well, it’s important to have some good strong conversations about how you’re wired and how you’re communication could be having a negative impact on your spouse. And we’ve got some great conversation starters for you and ways to better understand your mate on today’s “Focus on the Family” with Jim Daly.

I’m John Fuller and we’re continuing our conversation with Bill and Pam Farrel, who’ve written the book, Men are Like Waffles and Women are Like Spaghetti [FYI: Men are Like Waffles, Women are Like Spaghetti]

Jim Daly: (Chuckling) It takes you a minute to think that through, doesn’t it? Hey, men and women are just different. That’s the way we are. We’ve been created differently and there’s no way around that. And too many times we feel so comfortable with our spouse that we feel the freedom to point out the shortcomings and the inadequacies of our mate and that is unwise. We end up alienating the very person that we love the most without even intending to do it. Instead of trying to change our spouse to communicate like we want them to, we simply need to understand how God has wired our bride or our groom so we can strengthen that relationship. And I’m tellin’ you, Bill and Pam Farrel have been helping couples see the value in those differences for more than 30 years. They joined us last time and we’re comin’ back to their thoughts again today.

John: And if you missed any of the previous conversation or you can’t stick around for the entire discussion today, get the download or a CD or better, get our app for your phone or tablet, so you can listen on the go at any time. Now the Farrels have come up with that analogy of waffles and spaghetti and it does take a moment to kind of grab onto that, but as you listen, it’ll make sense and I so appreciate their vulnerability. This is not a couple that claims perfection. They just have some great insights. Let’s go ahead and hear more from Bill and Pam Farrel on today’s “Focus on the Family.”

Body:

Jim: Pam, we talked a lot last time about the spaghetti side of things understanding how our wives integrate and connect all the different parts of their lives together like a bunch of spaghetti. But men in contrast, we tend to compartmentalize. We’re like the top of a waffle with a bunch of little boxes and nothing’s really touching anything else. How do you counsel couples who feel like they’re just at the end of their rope in trying to understand one another and be understood?

Pam Farrel: Well, I think one of the tips is just to keep the overall picture of valuing those differences. Bill likes to quote his favorite theologian.

Bill: It’s Rocky Balboa.

John: Oh, yeah. (Laughter) Well known as a theologian.

Jim: (Laughing) Rocky!

Bill: Right, he was dating Adrian. You know, Adrian’s brother, Paulie, got concerned about the relationship, so [he] asked Rocky one day, “Hey what are you doin’ with my sister?” And Rocky’s response was something like, “I got gaps; she got gaps. Together we fill gaps.” (Laughter)

Jim: (Laughing) I remember.

Bill: Which is pretty good relationship advice, ’cause we all married people with gaps.

Jim: Yeah.

Bill: And God puts us in each other’s lives to kind of fill some of those gaps and make the total picture better than the individual picture.

Pam: So, to realize you know, my man has value and to get to that value sometimes, I’ll have to get at it a different way. And like the No. 1 question I’m asked when I do women’s conferences or marriage and family conferences, the girls always say, “Okay, how do I get my man to open up?” How do I get my dad to open up, my son to open up, my husband to open up, my boyfriend? How do I get them to share with me?

And here’s the deal. We women have, you know, way more words per day than the average male, so we can basically just outtalk the guys. And so, because of that, a lot of times we sell guys short, you know, because they don’t respond to life like we respond to life, we think something’s wrong with them.

And I think the best way to get to a man’s heart is to go to his favorite box. And if we know what our husband loves, then we can go and park ourself [sic] in that favorite box, whether it’s fishing, whether it’s sports. It tends to be, if you can get a guy in a car he’ll open up. Like this one girl, she came to me. She was engaged and she said, “Pam, I’m like really excited about getting married to my fiancé. I mean, he’s such a good moral man and he’s such a great provider. And he’s just a good guy, but I’m kind of afraid, too.”

And I said, “Well, why are you afraid, girlfriend?” And she said, “Well, I think something’s wrong with him. I think he’s broken. I think it’s called ’emotionally shallow.’” And I started to laugh, because I thought, oh, she just hasn’t found the key to unlocking a guy’s heart.

And so, I asked her, “Whatch’ your fiancé like to do?” She’s like, “He’s a sports car driver.” I said, “Okay. Go into the garage and when you get in the garage, just go in. Listen to his heart and repeat key phrases that he’s saying.”

So, she goes into the garage and he’s workin’ on the race car, of course. And so, he’s tweakin’ this and he’s torquing that. And he’s talking about rods and pistons and fly wheels and she’s repeating back all those car parts. She doesn’t have a clue what she’s saying, but she’s repeating back the car parts. And all of a sudden he comes out from the car and he said, “Wow! Nobody’s ever cared about my life like this. Nobody’s ever loved me like this. Nobody’s ever taken the time. Honey, I’m so excited to get married to you. I want to build us a big three-bedroom, two-bath house and put a balcony out back. And I want to hang up a front porch swing so that every night when I come home from work, I can just hold you in my arms and we can watch the sun set and I can just listen to your heart.” She told me later, “I never want to leave the garage again!” (Laughter)

Jim: Yeah.

Pam: Found the key to his heart.

John: And you’re not talking about doing this superficially. I mean it would be easy to fake that kind of interest. You’re–

Pam: Right.

John: –you’re saying, make it genuine.

Pam: Care, yeah.

Bill: Again, we’re fighting our tendencies on this, because the complaint I hear from men all the time is, “I started this conversation with my wife and she just took it over and we were running somewhere else. I don’t know how we got there.” Because once a woman sees an issue in a man’s life, she also sees the six issues that are attached to that and she wants to explore all of them.

Pam: So, our gift that we can give is to stay in the box. If he brings up a subject to talk about, it’s actually that subject that he wants to talk about. So, if we can stay in the box and repeat back those key phrases, we’re gonna go down to that deeper level and that’s where the best of who a guy is. It’s just kinda like how syrup sinks down to the very bottom of every waffle box compartment. The sweetest part of a guy is in the very bottom of every one of those compartments. If we become a good listener, we’ll be able to get down to the very best of who our man is.

And you know, it’s not as hard as one might think. Our son, Brock, is a football coach. And so, he was the quarterback for Liberty University. I mean, the guy lives and breathes football. And he married a sweetheart of a girl, Hannah, who really didn’t know much about football when they got together.

But we came to their house one night and Brock was at a coaching meeting. And Hannah was watching reruns of highlight films from one of the station[s], what’s that station where they–

Jim: ESPN?

Pam: –watch, yeah (Laughter), you know, the best of games. There was no male in there. She was just watching it. She had learned to love his background..

Bill: Well, and I asked her. I said, “Hannah, what are you doing?” She said, “Well, if I’m gonna be married to a coach, I gotta learn to love football.”

Pam: And she has.

Jim: So, it’s an active interest. That’s what you’re saying there.

Bill: And these differences, Jim, they apply to all relationships. So, it applies to a relationship with mom and dad, brothers and sisters–

Pam: Parenting.

Bill: –workplace. And so, it’s just those of us who are married know it gets more intense because you deal with it every day–

Jim: Well, and–

Bill: –over everything.

Jim: –and in marriage, I mean, one of the big [issues], in addition to communication struggles and things like that, is intimacy.

Pam and Bill: Uh-hm.

Jim: I mean, that is an awkward thing for many married couples.

Bill: Yes.

Jim: Talk to us about that. How does “spaghetti” and “waffles” work into the intimate marriage relationship?

Pam: Well, you kinda have to go back to the way that we process stress and that will lead into romance, in that we women talk our way through stress. But guys like to go to their favorite easy boxes to rest and recharge. It’s kinda like a battery in a battery recharger. When you look at a battery sitting in a battery recharger, what does it look like it’s doing?

Bill: Nothing.

Pam: Nothing. But it’s doing something; it’s recharging. So God kinda helped us girls out, so we could recognize these favorite easy boxes of men and that most of them are shaped like boxes. The TV screen is shaped like a box. The computer screen is shaped like a box. The garage is shaped like a box, football field is shaped like a box, a baseball diamond. The refrigerator is shaped like a box and the bed is shaped like a box. In fact–

Jim: That’s an interesting observation. (Laughter)

Pam: –yeah, that sex box (Laughter), that “red hot monogamy box” as we like to call it, is the favorite box for a guy to go to on his waffle when he’s all stressed out especially. And a guy can get to that box. It’s like the free square in the middle of a bingo card and guys can get there from every other square on their waffle.

Bill: And so, when guys look at intimacy, it’s one of the boxes on their waffle.

Jim: Right.

Bill: That I’m gonna do what it takes to get my wife’s attention. We’re gonna enjoy each other and it’s gonna lead to sexual intimacy. Like so, we just view it as, that’s a part of our life.

Jim: Step one, two, three.

Bill: Yes. And women don’t see it as a part of their life.

Pam: It’s all of life. Like, if you don’t vacuum, there’s not gonna be a lot of red hot monogamy. If I ask you to dust, I’m sorry and you didn’t dust, man, I’m not feeling very amorous. So, it’s all connected up together. What do you mean, you forgot to pick up the dry cleaning? Ah, she just falls out of the mood.

Bill: And so, again, we both need to learn to adjust. You know, as guys, we need to learn that everything we do is part of the intimacy formula in our marriage. And we just need to start thinking. We’re never gonna get it perfect. We’re never gonna do it all right. I mean, it’s guaranteed, all of us are gonna fall short. But we need to learn that, you know, what we say at breakfast and the phone call we make in the middle of the day and the e-mail that we send and how we treat our kids, that it all ties in. So, we want to do our best to keep respect high in our marriage relationship.

But the wives need to adjust also, because again, we can’t get it perfect in our relationship. And so, the ladies need to adjust and to kind of just address our needs.

Pam: Right and sometimes we need to schedule in that red hot monogamy and it’s a box that we can look forward to. It’s the light at the end of the tunnel and it can just bless our husband. And you know, if we want to wow each other, then we need to take into account the differences.

For example, when you can lower a man’s stress and raise his ability to succeed, he perceives that as romance. I shared that at one university. The men in the audience when I said to the girls, “Girls, what guys are looking for is a low maintenance woman who can help them relieve stress and succeed in life,” they gave me a standing ovation.

Jim: Hm.

Pam: I mean, they don’t change just because they get married either. That’s really how they perceive romance. And so, if I want to romance Bill, that means I want to tie together his favorite easy boxes. So, the girls in the audience would just be wrackin’ their brain right now. Okay, what were the three favorite boxes of my husband? ‘Cause that’s what will make a great date. Obviously, you’ve heard our boys played football, so box No. 1 might be a couple tickets to a football game. Box No. 2, Bill loves great gourmet food, so takin’ him to his favorite restaurant. Box No. 3 would be every guy’s favorite box–

Bill: Bingo.

Pam: –that bingo box. And he would give you two the tickets to the football game if he can make sure that box No. 3 was gonna happen that day. So, that’s how you wow a guy.

John: What are some of the common ways, Bill and Pam, that husbands and wives sabotage this part of life? I mean, I’m just thinking everybody’s busy and so, busyness and stress can get in the way of understanding and recognizing those differences and working toward productive goals and even sexual intimacy in marriage. What are some other things that get in the way?

Pam: I think one of the things that gets in the way is when we have conflict come into our marriage or stress–hard circumstances–we process them differently. For example, we women, we are the first ones to reach out for a third party to help. Instinctively studies say that women are the one to pick up the phone and call for the counselor or a pastor or a mentor couple.

But guys oftentimes, it appears like they’re not doing anything. Like the family’s fallin’ apart. We walk in. He’s watching TV, ESPN. He’s on the computer. We’re like, “Can’t you see the world is falling apart? Don’t you care?” He does care. Studies say that men, when a family’s under crisis, when a marriage is on the rocks, a man feels it at a deeper level than the woman. But–

John: Really.

Pam: –we don’t know that, ’cause they don’t talk about it.

Bill: Right, because he gets emotionally flooded and doesn’t know how to process it.

Pam: They just shove it down, shove it down and shove it down. And we perceive that, is that they don’t care.

Jim: They’re disconnected.

Pam: Exactly, but they do care. They just have heart–

Bill: They’re just overwhelmed.

Pam: –attacks and strokes instead.

Bill: Yeah.

Pam: That’s how they manage it. And we want our guys to be around. And so, it really is a gift when things are not going well, if you girls go out of your way to try to relieve the stress in your man’s life.

John: Uh-hm.

Bill: And Jim, the two things I see that really sabotage this whole intimacy connection is one, as guys, we forget the little things. And the little things are the things that work over time. Like I kiss Pam every time we pray. And it doesn’t matter how I feel about her or it doesn’t matter how we’re doing. If we pray together, I kiss her, because it’s one of those little things I’ve committed to do every time for the rest of our life.

And what I see shuts guys down all the time is too much criticism. Because you know, as guys, we’re all kinda awkward. It’s where we all start. Our romantic things tend to be awkward to begin with and if we get criticized too much, we just shut that down and say, “Well, we’re not very good at it, so never mind.”

And it’s easy in a person that you spend your whole time with, it’s easy to find things to criticize. And when a man gets too much criticism, he just starts to conclude, “I can’t succeed in this relationship, so I’m not gonna try.”

And so, for instance, I mean, a lot of times the way Pam approaches stuff, it’s confusing to me. Like after 31 years of marriage, I still have a hard time telling if we had a discussion or we made a decision.

John: (Laughing)

Bill: Because you know, we’re guys that go, “Okay, we decided.” But in the next day, the topic’s back on the table. I’m like, “Well, I thought we made a [decision].” And that gets confusing to me. And what I see a lot of guys do is, we get critical at that point. We start to, you know, complain about our wives at that point. We start to say they’re wrong in the way they do things.

Pam: And so, now we just have a code word, “green light,” “yellow light,” “red light,” so we know what status that decision is in.

John: Hm.

Pam: And that’s really helped. And it kinda goes back to one of the concepts we encourage couples to have is a password when they are in conflict, when they’re not gettin’ along, when somethin’ like … when they’re tryin’ to understand each other, but have you ever had one of those conversations where you’re talking and then you start arguing and then going (Laughter), know what you are arguing about, okay–

Jim: I’ve never had one–

Pam: –seriously.

Jim: –of those (Laughter). Have you had one of those, John? (Laughter)

John: No, never. (Laughter)

Bill: Never.

John: No, I haven’t, no.

Pam: And so, did you just gotta-

John: Somebody out there did.

Pam: –yeah, regroup.

Bill: Well, and it’s usually related to something you love about your spouse.

Pam: Right, the thing that–

Bill: Like …

Pam: –you first fell in love with can drive you crazy after a while.

Jim: You said that with emphasis by the way. (Laughter)

Bill: A good thing I love about Pam, it’s been one of my favorite things of her life is, she’s very creative. And so, I’ve had a lot more fun in my life because I’m married to her than I would’ve ever figured out on my own.

But I didn’t realize it applied to everything, that it’s a constant process. And she also tends to be pretty ambitious, so she has big ideas. So, the first 10 years of our marriage, a lot of our really nice evenings ended really rough, because we’d get together. Pam would think, “I’ve got Bill’s attention. I’m gonna start sharing my ideas with him.” Well, I thought I had to do something with all those ideas, ’cause that’s how I would’ve shared.

John and Jim: Uh-hm.

Bill: If I share an idea, it’s ’cause I want to know, should we take action? So, she shared the first idea and I would think, “Okay, I think we could work with this one.” And then she’d share the second idea and I was alike, “Whoa! Okay, two big ideas. We[‘ve] got a lot of energy, so maybe we can go after this, but it’s gonna squeeze our budget, but I trust her. She walks with Jes[us].” And then she’d share the third idea and I’d think, “Well, how in the world can we do all three of these ideas? This is not even possible. The first two were at our limit there.” And then she’d share the fourth idea and I would think, this woman is out of her mind and if I don’t stop her, she’s gonna ruin our life. And so, a lot of our really nice–

John: So, you’d stop her.

Bill: –evenings, yeah, ended with this real harsh tension between the two of us.

Jim: Now one thing you do on your date night or whatever evening you get together, you do talk about household business, don’t you?

Pam: We have two different date nights and one’s to deal with the business and one is to deal with romance. And so, that way you’re not on a romantic, you know, encounter talking about the bills and the IRS. It kinda like ruins the mood.

John: Those are two–

Pam: Yeah.

John: –mutually exclusive kinds of things–

Pam: Exactly.

John: –there.

Jim: Yeah.

Bill: But we plan both–

Pam: Exactly.

Bill: –so that they don’t run into each other.

Jim: On a weekly basis.

Bill: Weekly basis.

Pam: We do, on a weekly basis we have both of ’em. And when Bill and I were goin’ out for those meals and they would just shut down with tension, Bill learned, okay, this is–

Bill: Right.

Pam: –not really workin’ for us. We need a new method here. So, he came to me.

Bill: I said, “Pam, are all these ideas you share with me important?” (Laughter)

Pam: I said, “Of course, they’re my ideas.” (Laughter)

Bill: Okay, wrong question. What I really want to know is, do I have to do something with every idea that you share?”

Pam: I don’t even do anything with most of my ideas. No, that’s okay.

Bill: Okay, so, if you share an idea that I don’t want to do anything with, can I say, “Pam, that is a great idea.”

Pam: That’s a great idea, Hon.

John: And that’s all she’s looking for right there, right?

Pam: Yeah.

Bill: And that became our password, that phrase, “A great idea–“

Jim: For that transaction.

Bill: –took a lot of the tension out of our conversation, because it gave me the freedom not to take on responsibility for all of her ideas. And it gave her freedom to share ideas, knowing that I didn’t have to do anything with ’em.

Pam: Right, like even that “password” thing was huge in our relationship, ’cause Bill married a drama queen. I mean, my dad was a[n] alcoholic and so, I had trust issues all over the place. And so, Bill would say something. It would hurt my feelings. I’m like, “Oh! You don’t love me anymore!” Ran to the bedroom, slammed the door, looked back, waiting to see if he’d followed me.

Bill: So, like do your dads tell you what to do with stuff like that when–

Jim: Yeah.

Bill: –it happens–

Jim: It’s not part–

Bill: –in marriage?

Jim: –of the training.

John: No. (Laughter)

Pam: One man at a conference said, “Run, Forrest, run!” (Laughter)

Bill: So, I did my best. You know, I did my best to encourage Pam and go, “No, I’m in this thing with you. Hey, you can trust me. I’m in, 100 percent.” But it still just kinda you know, carried on.

Pam: And so, one day my brother was having dinner with us and Bill said something that hurt my feelings. I ran to the room, slammed the door, threw myself across the bed, but instead of Bill, Bret walked in applauding. And he took a trophy down and was like, “Now for best actress, we have Pam Farrel.” (Laughter)

Jim: Oh man.

Bill: And I thought, we are in so much trouble. (Laughter) Like this is funny, but we are in so much trouble!

Jim: You’re dead.

Pam: But instead of being angry, I’m like, “Oh, my brother so knows me.” I started laughing and Bill’s like, “Whoa! Humor helps.” So, he’s like, okay, tied to a good memory, we like the Rocky movie.

Bill: And–

Pam: Humor helps.

Bill: –so, you remember when Rocky was trying to get Adrian’s attention, she was workin’ at a pet store. He’d walk into the pet store, same day and same joke every day.

Jim: Right.

Bill: “Yo, Adrian, you know what you get when you tap a turtle on the back? You get shell shock, get it? Shell shock.” (Laughter)

Pam: So, the next time Bill hurt my feelings, I ran into the room, slammed the door, threw myself across the bed, in walks Bill.

Bill: Yo, Pam, you know what you get when you tap a turtle on the back? You get shell shocked, get it? (Laughter)

Pam: It’s like a bad imitation. It’s a stupid joke. It still works to this day. Like if somethin’ happened in the studio right now and I needed encouragement, you’d see Bill tapping his little wrist looking like the turtle, tappin’ the turtle on the back.

Jim: So, that’s your password.

Pam: It’s our password and we can be at a big ol’ argument, intense fellowship and Bill can just say, “Yo” or one of us can start tappin’ the turtle and it gives a little bit of humor. You can restart. You can regroup and we really encourage every couple to have a password, because there are just times when you’ll start arguing and you don’t want to be arguing. Or you just don’t understand each other. Or the differences get in the way and so, think back to a happy time, an inside joke, a day that you laughed together and see if maybe you can create a password–

John: Hm.

Pam: –from that happy memory.

Bill: Because not everything that feels like a problem is a problem. Sometimes it’s just your differences got you off track.

John: Hm.

Jim: Well, I would say that’s the core at most marital difficulty right there. But let’s summarize. A couple is not communicating; they’ve lost that in their marriage. There’s no intimacy or it’s coerced, you know. The man’s tryin’ to find a way to manipulate that in order to meet that happy box.

Pam: (Laughing) The bingo box.

Jim: We’ve said a lot here, but what’s the kernel? If you’re in that situation right now, what do you say to that couple that’s desperate? There’s nothing happening. They’re ready to divorce.

Pam: The Bible says, serve one another in love. And when we invite God to be a part of the equation, God will tell us what to do to solve that dilemma. And I think the biggest picture of that was actually on our honeymoon. You know, I mentioned that Bill married a drama queen.

Well, I stepped out of the shower and I was blow drying my hair. I was looking in the mirror, pointing out all the flaws that I thought were in my 20-year-old frame.

Bill: And I started gettin’ pretty frustrated. You know, here I am on my honeymoon and I’m thinking, this is a great thing. There’s Pam criticizing herself in the mirror and I’m thinking, this is not gonna go well. She’s gonna get self-conscious and depressed and like, our honeymoon is a mess now.

And I said, “God, You got anything for me? ‘Cause I don’t know what to do here.” And the thought that crossed my mind was, “Bill, you could do better than the mirror’s doin’.”

Pam: And so, instead of becoming angry at me, he came over and he wrapped his arms around me and took my face in his hands and he said …

Bill: Pam, let me be your mirror. If you need to know how beautiful you are, what a great woman you are, you come see me and I’ll tell you. And if I have to break every mirror in our house to get you to believe me, I will, ’cause from now on I will be your mirror.

And I learned a couple of important things that day. One is, our words count. Like she just changed right in front of me and I was like, “Whoa! Okay, Bill, pay attention, because when God gives you an idea like this, it’s amazing how fast it works.”

Second thing I didn’t know that I was learning at that point, but it was the beginning of [my] understanding that all marriages are one breakthrough away from great success.

Jim: Hm.

Bill: And those couples that feel like we’ve got nothin’. It’s dead. There’s nothin’ goin’ on. You know, our marriages are a reflection of salvation. And the way salvation works is it’s a breakthrough, that you’re lost one day; you’re found the next. You go from being God’s enemy to being God’s friend. And God works in breakthroughs. So, every marriage is one breakthrough away.

And the other thing that I learned that day is that in the midst of any situation, God makes something obvious. That like, marriages can get very confusing. You can see all kinds of problems and all kinds of issues and all kinds of stuff floating around. In the midst of it, God will make one thing obvious. Okay, I want you to do this; try saying this. And it’s often that one thing that starts setting the stage for the breakthrough.

Like one couple we know, they were in such bad shape. She was gonna issue divorce papers to him on his birthday, so that every year he would have a reminder of what a jerk she thought he was.

Jim and John: Hm.

Bill: And that–

John: Wow.

Bill: –couple experienced the breakthrough and two years after that day, she threw another birthday party to announce to all of her friends the miracle that God had done and the breakthrough they had experienced.

Jim: Hm.

Bill: So, every couple, I know it seems like there’s some couples out there that can’t make it, but every couple is one breakthrough away and it starts by doing what’s obvious, not getting lost in all the confusion.

Pam: What Bill did that day for me as I looked in the mirror is he reflected back to me my worth and value from heaven’s point of view. And that’s really at the core of Men Are Like Waffles, Women [Are] Like Spaghetti is, when we recognize the value of who God gave to us in our mate and in our spouse. And we can use those differences for us and for our relationship.

Closing:

John: Well, what a great way to end these past couple of days with Bill and Pam Farrel on “Focus on the Family.” Every couple is just one breakthrough aw

Today's Guests

Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti

Receive a copy of the Farrels' book Men Are Like Waffles, Women Are Like Spaghetti for your donation of any amount!

Recent Episodes

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Celebrating Advent as a Family

When the Christmas season rolls around, we often place expectations that it will be “the best Christmas ever,” but we end up disappointed, stressed out and exhausted. Josh and Christi Straub urge us all to remember the true meaning of the Advent season, offering ways to sidestep the stress by being fully present with family and reflecting on the joy of the season.

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Caring for the Forgotten Generation

Chaplain Bill Goodrich of God Cares Ministry describes the vibrant opportunity to befriend and share Christ with the elderly in your community. He shares his heart for this forgotten generation of precious people who deserve our love and attention.

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Reflecting on Our Blessings at Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is a time to reflect on the blessings God has given us and express our gratitude for His bountiful grace and mercy. Becky Kopitzke will share fun ideas to incorporate gratitude into your family’s Thanksgiving traditions.

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Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Pastor Dave Carder offers couples practical advice for protecting their marriages from adultery in a discussion based on his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. (Part 1 of 2)

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Affair-Proof Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Pastor Dave Carder offers couples practical advice for protecting their marriages from adultery in a discussion based on his book Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them. (Part 2 of 2)

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Balancing Gender Differences in Your Marriage (Part 1 of 2)

Robert and Pamela Crosby help married couples understand and celebrate their gender differences so that they can enjoy a stronger bond and deeper intimacy. Our guests offer practical tips for improved communication, successful conflict resolution and offering affirmation to your spouse. (Part 1 of 2)

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!