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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Forming New Habits For Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Forming New Habits For Your Marriage (Part 2 of 2)

Dr. Randy Schroeder returns once more to FOF to discuss habits you can integrate into your marriage! Jim talks to Randy about pursuing the daily essentials of affection in your marriage, promoting emotional closeness, and leaving and cleaving properly. (Part 1 of 2)
Original Air Date: September 23, 2022

Preview:

Dr. Randy Schroeder: Praise creates positive energy in a marriage and it’s interesting to me every counseling session…. I’ve done thousands and thousands of counseling sessions with couples. Every session I begin with a couple, I have them appreciate each other.

End of Preivew

John Fuller: Dr. Randy Schroeder joins us again today on Focus on the Family, and we thank you for joining us. I’m John Fuller, and your host is Focus president and author, Jim Daly.

Jim Daly: John, I think we both agree the conversation last time was so helpful. There’s so many great little deposits of wisdom that Randy provides in his book, Simple Habits for Marital Happiness. I mean, you could just start taking little notes.

John: Yeah. He’s got a way to make things stand out and be remembered with some great hooks.

Jim: It’s perfect. We discuss simple choices that really strengthen your connection with your spouse. Who doesn’t want that? Things like saying thank you and reconnecting for two minutes at the end of the day. Saying I love you when you leave the house, saying I love you when you go to bed at night. They… You think of those as just, you know, you know, fluff, but couples that practice those habits have happier marriages. And it doesn’t take a lot, but it’s thoughtfulness that counts.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: And I’m looking forward to another part of that discussion today.

John: Yeah. And if you missed anything, uh, from the previous conversation, we’re available on YouTube. You can find us wherever podcasts are at. Stop by our website. Our number is 800 AFAMILY, 800-232-6459, and, uh, you’ll find us at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. And Dr. Randy Schroeder is a former seminary professor. He’s a pastor and a marriage and family counselor. He’s written a number of books and, uh, we’re gonna come back to one that’s, as Jim said, very, very accessible and very practical. It’s called Simple Habits for Marital Happiness. Uh, the subtitle is: Practical Skills and Tools That Build a Strong Satisfying Relationship.

Jim: Randy, welcome back to Focus.

Dr. Schroeder: Well, it’s a privilege to be with you and I look, uh, forward to talking more about habits that lead to successful, happy marriage.

Jim: Okay, let’s start. Uh, we’ll pick up last time and hopefully, folks, there are so much great practical information in the broadcast yesterday. I picked it up, like John said, smartphone apps are great way to get it, but let’s pick up from last time. Um, listening, uh, can be a man’s worst enemy. We’re kind of thinking of things and we’re not fully… I mean, the other night, I did this. Jean asked me. We’re at a fast-food restaurant. She said, “Can you get me a cup of ice?” And I went, got the cup, filled it with ice, and filled it with water, and I brought it back. And she said, “No, no. No, I just wanted a cup of ice.” “Oh, oh…” I go back, I throw the ice water away and bring her the cup back.

Dr. Schroeder: (laughs).

Jim: I’m serious. We were on a long drive. We were on a nine-

John: It must’ve been after, like, four or five o’clock in the afternoon.

Jim: … we were on a nine-hour drive, so maybe my mind was just spongy. And she said, “Oh, my. I just want a cup of ice.”

Dr. Schroeder: (laughs).

Jim: Well, thank you, let me go get that. I think I got it now-

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah.

Jim: … since the other two ways didn’t work for us here. But I mean, it was like a listening block. I literal-… I’ve never done something like that before, but I was not computing what she was saying.

Dr. Schroeder: (laughs) It happens to all of us and, uh, yeah, we need to strive to be world class listeners, and I think a good way to do that is to ask two questions of our spouse. You know, the first question is kind of a warmup question. You know, it could be, “How was your day today?” And the follow up question really makes our spouse feel special and valued, okay. And so, uh, the two consecutive guideline helps a lot of relationships and helps us listen well, because a lot of times, individuals, we see this even in life where I ask a question to you and say- say, “How was your day?” And you say, “Well, it didn’t go real well.” And rather than say what didn’t go well, they start talking about their day. And so two consecutive questions really forces spouses to express interest in their partner, and that makes a difference in the relationship.

Jim: Oh, I like that. Uh, you counseled a woman who corrected her husband all the time. I think this is very instructive too, because I think everybody could see a little bit of that in your relationship, I would think. I mean, that happens with Jean and I. Um, the question is how often (laughs) does that happen and to what degree? So, this is a great illustration of unhealthy correction.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah. And- and there’s a difference, I would say, between constructive correcting or criticizing and expressing wants and needs or expressing expectations. But a major predictor for an unhappiness, separation, and divorce is criticism, where one spouse is just critical and complaining all the time and- and- and they’re never satisfied, and often they’re perfectionistic. They’re- they can be critical of themselves, critical of their spouses, critical of their kids. And in fact, this couple that I mentioned in my book, uh, she criticized her husband all the time for everything. She criticized him on how he’d ate ice cream, if you can believe it.

Jim: I’d get out of the way. I wouldn’t criticize anybody on how to eat ice cream. Man, that’s dangerous territory.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah, that is. I mean-

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Schroeder: … it’s good you just wanna get it- get it down to your tummy. And so and- and she criticized him on how he put the trash liner in the trashcan, and so-

Jim: That will may make a little more sense (laughs).

Dr. Schroeder: And so I suggested, uh, to the couple, I said, “Let’s try an experiment.” I said, uh, because he was just beaten down, you know, and- and criticism will do that. And so, I suggested for one week they both avoid criticism, constructive corrections, complaining, and immediately, the husband said, “That’s a great idea.” And he s- he said- he said, “No, I wanna go two weeks.” He said, “No, I wanna go three weeks.” And he said, “No, I wanna go a whole month.”

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Schroeder: And the wife said, “That’s a dumb idea. I need to continue to correct him when he does things that I think are not right.” And she would not do it. Now, she also had adult kids that struggle. I mean, they’ve been married over 25 years and- and she was constantly criticizing pretty much everyone in her family.

Jim: Can I ask you this? Because, um, you know, it’s a great example of what not to do.

Dr. Schroeder: Mm-hmm.

Jim: As a counselor, where did she learn that, because it’s counterintuitive. It’s not a healthy way to do human relationships, certainly not a healthy way to do marriage, but do you ever find a commonality there as a child, what she was seeing? ‘Cause I think we- we grow up learning these habits from our own family of origin so often.

Dr. Schroeder: Oh, sure.

Jim: So, what do you think- what do you think her childhood was like?

Dr. Schroeder: Well, yeah, and you hit the nail on the head. You know, our parents did the best job they could. Uh, they had virtues, they had flaws. It’s good to recognize their positive attributes and bring those patri- attributes into our adult lives and into our adult relationships, including our marriages. But whatever flaws they had, we wanna try to overcome those flaws and not bring them into our personal life, our relationships. And I’m sure-

Jim: We need to create new flaws (laughs).

Dr. Schroeder: (laughs). I like your sense of humor, Jim. Uh, but- but, yeah, but not, you know, she-

Jim: But it’s true. It’s good. Bring the good stuff, leave the bad stuff.

Dr. Schroeder: She actually learned it from, uh, from her mom.

Jim: Yeah, I would think so.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah.

Jim: Let’s move, uh, on the husband side, uh, to another extreme. Husbands in that situation or whenever there’s that critical spirit, those things that you’re mentioning. Husbands tend… We tend to just withdraw. We did it as little boys and we do it as adult boys. You know, when we’re being criticized, we just go into a cocoon and hear, “Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa.” And we stare at the TV, watching our football game or whatever. Speak to that isolation emotionally and how dangerous that is.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah. It- it is very dangerous. In fact, research studies have found there’s four patterns that lead to divorce, and withdrawal is one of those patterns. And- and-

Jim: I would think that’s a typical husband. You know, correct me if I’m wrong but I would just think that more husbands withdraw than- than wives. Wives-

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah.

Jim: … can go on the attack.

Dr. Schroeder: No, you’re- you’re right. And- and, uh, husbands have a tough time discussing things.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Schroeder: You know, wives like to discuss things even hurts and disappointments, and so, yeah, you’re correct. Husbands have a tendency there. What’s really important, I think, is to go to Ephesians 4: “Speak the truth, God tells us in love.” And so, we need to use what I have, a speak the truth love formula. The first step is to identify words and behaviors. “When I heard you say this or when I saw you do that, I felt…” And it’s always good to use hurt and disappointed. Never underestimate… A couple can- should never underestimate the power of words. Do not use words like angry or mad or frustrated or resentful. Always, I suggest to couples use hurt or disappointed, so it’s when I heard you say this or when you heard you correct me all the time, I feel hurt and disappointed because I feel beaten down. And so, the fourth step is offer a solution. Like they say in the business world, don’t bring me a problem unless you have a solution. Well, then offer a solution. Now, the wife doesn’t have to agree, or the husband doesn’t have to agree with this solution, but that speak the truth and love formula overcomes what you just mentioned, Jim, withdrawal. So that they do talk about their hurts and disappointments, and yet offer a solution.

Jim: Randy, let me ask this question, too. Um, so often with the Christian context, you know, two committed people, we will evaluate the fact that we don’t disagree much, or we don’t ever argue as a spiritual virtue. And I would think in a counseling environment, as a counselor, that’s admirable but then you start asking yourself, “How deep is this going?” ‘Cause if they can live at that level, they’re obviously not occasionally bumping into each other emotionally, which means they may not be interacting as deeply as they should. So, speak to that and maybe even give an illustration where the couple is saying, “You know what? It’s Chris-…” And we- we get that kind of response here when we have a guest on who says, “You know, our marriage was rocky.” Well, if you’re a Christian and you’re in your marriage, you shouldn’t have rocky. And we’ve never argued. I mean, I can remember getting some of that correspondence here at Focus, and I thought, “Wow, that marriage might be in as much trouble as the other one. The just don’t know it.”

Dr. Schroeder: Exactly. You said it, uh, excellently. And they’re not emotionally close. You know, we’re gonna have hurts and disappoints. You know, it- it maybe we’re not getting enough hugs from our spouses or maybe, uh, we want, uh, more conversation and they’re not giving enough conversation. Uh, for, again, 25 years, I was a seminary professor. I remember a seminarian in my class, we were gonna talk about, uh, you know, how do you handle those hurts and disappointments. And he raised his hand, you know, again, married 25 years and he said, “Dr. Schroeder,” he said, “My wife and I have never had a disagreement.” And- and, you know, I wasn’t gonna embarrass him in front of the whole class, I just said, “Well, that’s nice. Thanks for sharing.”

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Schroeder: (laughs) But-

Jim: See you after class.

Dr. Schroeder: … I- I felt sad because he does not have a close relationship. Uh, we- we can respect each other’s differing opinions, differing viewpoints, we can respect each other when they- when they- our spouse will share a hurt with us, but that keeps us close to do that talking together about what we can do to make it better.

Jim: And I- I think it’s- it’s kind of when you have that, a- a healthy intensity in the relationship. It’s actually good. It’s what God intends. I mean, we are two imperfect people, but you should be colliding here and there, and working that out healthy, in a healthy context.

Dr. Schroeder: And- and I would say the “colliding” i- is respectful.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Schroeder: You know, yeah, you wanna- you wanna be respectful, disagree, yes; disrespect, no.

Jim: Let me also ask you, um, some will be familiar with this rule, but remind us the “I” messages as you’ve mentioned that a few times. I observe, I… What are the “I” messages versus the- the- the you messages?

Dr. Schroeder: Well, and that- that’s kind of it, the speak the truth and love, you know.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Schroeder: When- when I see you do this or when I hear you say that, you know, I feel hurt or disappointed, and we should never… We need to never begin with you unless we’re gonna praise our spouse.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Schroeder: If we’re gonna say, “You’re a wonderful Christian wife or you’re a wonderful Christian husband.” Uh, we wanna avoid you use attacking, that’s a three-letter word to forget. The word but, forget that one. And why also is attacking, and so we don’t wanna do that either.

John: Well, we’ve learned, uh, a lot along the way here. We still have more to come on this episode of Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. Our guest is Dr. Randy Schroeder, and, uh, we’re uncovering a lot from his book, Simple Habits for Marital Happiness: Practical Skills and Tools That Build a Strong Satisfying Relationship. Contact us today for your copy of that book and, uh, other helpful resources for your marriage. Our number is 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. Or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: Randy, you mentioned in the book, when you disagree with your spouse, you recommend a soft startup. Now, being Irish, I don’t know anything… What do you mean a soft startup? I wanna go right to the issue. Let’s go. Let’s tackle it. What’s a soft startup?

Dr. Schroeder: That- that- that is absolutely essential. And again-

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Schroeder: … I’ve done a lot of marriage research, uh, reading and, uh, harsh beginnings lead to hard endings almost 100% of the time.

Jim: Okay, this is a proverb now.

Dr. Schroeder: And that-

Jim: (laughs) That’s what it sounds like.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah, and harsh endings, uh, often lead to divorce, and so we need to have soft startups, as you just asked about. And, uh, what I should-

Jim: Yeah, what’s the example?

Dr. Schroeder: I should define a harsh beginning first. “You know, you always, you never, you’re stupid, you’re dumb, we need to talk. I got an issue. We’ve got a problem.” You know, that’s a harsh beginning and the other spouse have immediately puts up a defense wall. And so, a soft startup is, “I need your help.” As Christian people, the three of us wanna be helpful for others. That’s why you do what you do, serving our Lord Jesus here at Focus on the Family. And so I need your help is disarming, and I can’t tell you how many couples have said, “That made a huge positive difference in our marriage relationship to use those words, ‘I need your help.’” Now, if it’s not a good time to discuss, the other spouse can say, “Hey, this is just not a good time.” Spouses need to be in a pleasant mood, a decent mood so they’ll have the energy to look for solutions rather than attack and blame. And- and the other… I always call it the terrific three. Uh, couples need to have discussions after nine in the morning, before nine at night, they need to always sit down, they to… so they’re not standing and yelling at each other. And they need to always begin with, “I need your help.” And those three simple yet effective habits, I would say those alone, besides all the other habits in the book, have saved probably 500 marriages from divorce. I’ve-

Jim: That you’ve dealt with?

Dr. Schroeder: That I’ve counseled. Have said-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Schroeder: … have- have said to me, “Dr. Schroeder, those three simple yet very effective habits saved us- saved our marriage from divorce. Thank you.”

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: Randy, also, let me- let me move to another… You know, today it’s such a taboo metaphor, but the rifle approach. What are you going after with the rifle approach? You gotta be careful in talking about this.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah, that- that is another guideline, and in fact, uh, I have 16 guidelines on how couples can have respectful discussion. Uh, and that besides the stay inside the nines, always sit, I need your help, another guideline is take the rifle approach. The rifle has a single bullet, a shotgun shell has a lot of pellets, and- and so couples need to focus on one hurt or disappointment.

Jim: Okay, not a bunch?

Dr. Schroeder: Not a bunch because, uh, couples have a tendency to not just focus on issues at the time, but they’ll then go back in the past and- and just bring other things up. So, whatever the hurt or disappointment is, just focus on that solitary issue.

Jim: You encouraged couples, uh, to engage in dialogue, not monologue. This is probably a good parenting tip, too. I mean, uh, but the kind of the monologue doesn’t get you very far.

Dr. Schroeder: It… The monologue makes the other spouse feel talked and they feel, uh, almost treated like a child, that they’re being taught down to. And- and someone who doesn’t monologue wants to go on and on and on. There needs to be a nice ebb and flow when couples have a respectful disagreement discussion. Uh, it’s kind of like a tennis volley. You go out to get exercise, a husband and wife, and they hit the ball nicely back and forth to each other so they can keep it going and run around and- and get exercise and, uh, help their heart rate. And- and that likewise, that’s what needs to happen with a marriage relationship. That dialogue needs to be there where a spouse says three sentences, the other spouse echoes, “I heard you say, is that correct?” The spouse says another three sentences. “I heard you say, is that correct?” And then they exchange roles. This spouse becomes the speaker, that spouse becomes the listener within echo, “I heard you say. Is that correct?” I saw physician and his wife, and he would go for five minutes talking about a monologue (laughs). It’s almost a mini sermon. A- and- and his wife… Uh, he said, “I need to do that.” And I said, “Well, doc-

Jim: (laughs) He need to do that? That’s just funny hearing that.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah, I said, “Doc,” I said, “you keep doing that, your wife is moving further and further away from you emotionally-

Jim: Oh, that’s interesting, yeah.

Dr. Schroeder: … you know, she is feeling- she is feeling attacked and she’s feeling talked at.” A- and the wife then spoke up and she said, “That’s it. I don’t feel that he’s talking with me. He’s talking at me.” And I encouraged the doc to give up his monologues and start going to three sentences or less or, four, just to be brief, and immediately, their marriage improved. They started having real, healthy discussions, understanding each other’s viewpoint, perspective, and it was just remarkable how quickly their marriage got healthy.

Jim: I was gonna ask you about that because, you know, again, the discipline of doing this, it’s kind of where we started. It was hopefully a little bit humorous, but it is- it’s a discipline that you have to have, and so often when you got to a counselor and you use the “I” words and you’re trying to impart into those couples these principles that work because you gotta slow down, you gotta think about what you’re about to say, you gotta try not to be harmful, aim for a good outcome. And practically, Randy, what’s so hard, and I get this, you’re in the heat of the moment. I mean, it’s emotional and-

Dr. Schroeder: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … you’re trying to respond, and you feel under attack. And it’s like your brain has a hard time going to this place called “adult” (laughs) and think about what you’re doing. Ho- how do you discipline yourself to back up in the emotional moment and say, “Honey, okay. Let’s just stop for a minute and let’s recalibrate this discussion.”

Dr. Schroeder: And- and I- I think that’s a- a good- good point, Jim, and I… God doesn’t use the word discipline, but God uses the word self-control in the fruit of the spirit, right? So, in a sense, I would say self-control, self-discipline, they’re synonymous.

Jim: It fits.

Dr. Schroeder: And- and- but I think what happens and- and why Simple Habits for Marital Happiness has made a huge difference is, so often, couples just read books about concepts and principles. And so, you can’t slow yourself down because you do not have the ability to slow yourself down, uh, the- without specific words and actions and knowledge. Uh, and so, having the- these, uh, habits allows the spouse to develop self-control. Unbelievable how parents can develop self-control and spouses develop self-control when they have the tools and the skills.

Jim: It’s so good. Uh, let’s move outside of that, uh, husband and wife relationship. The other one that can impact the marriage from outside is unhealthy friendships. And describe what you see there in some of the counseling sessions that you’ve had and how does a couple build a proper fence around those more toxic relationships? I would think, too… I mean, when the one spouse sees it and the other one doesn’t, that’s hard-

Dr. Schroeder: Yes. Yes.

Jim: … ’cause then it- then it’s an internal battle. “You know, honey, Susan is not a healthy person (laughs) and she’s leaning on you.” “But I love Susan. Susan’s so wonderful.” Okay, take it away.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah. Well, and again-

Jim: (laughs).

Dr. Schroeder: … let’s go back to God’s word. You know, what is God’s word say in Proverbs? A- a wise walk with the wise and become wise. You know, walk with foolish people and you’re gonna suffer harm. And so God is telling us in word, “Watch your friendships. Your friendships can hurt your Christian walk. Your friendships can hurt your Christian marriage.” A- and so identify those friends because friendships should build up a marriage, not tear down a marriage. And it’s not just friends, it could be family members. You know, I’ve seen family members tear down a Christian marriage.

Jim: Randy, while I was reading the prep and looking at the book, uh, last night, actually, and doing the research I needed to do, I was talking to Troy and Jean. They were in the kitchen, and I was in the living room reading, and I got into that… I was reading that part about putting change, you know, five coins in your right pocket, and then every time you criticize or you’re critical of your spouse, take a coin out, put it in your left pocket. And then during the day, if you compliment your spouse or maybe your child in a parenting context, you take that coin out in your left pocket, put it in your right. And at the end of the day, how many coins you have in your right pocket, which is the goal. That’s a great… They both said, “That is brilliant.”

Dr. Schroeder: Well, and it- it’s a little different. I- I wanna start-

Jim: Okay, you can correct me.

Dr. Schroeder: … I wanna start out- I wanna start with the positive, Jim. So, yeah, every time they complement their spouse, then they get to move a coin from the right pocket to the left.

Jim: Okay. Yeah. Yeah, okay.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah. So, where you start out, we want them to start hopefully complimenting, not criticizing. Start out complimenting, and hopefully the goal, uh, they’ll move five coins quickly. Now, sometimes women don’t have pockets in their pants, and I say, “You know, put five coins when you’re at home on a kitchen counter. And every time you compliment, move it over to the left side and start putting the five coins over here.” But when they criticize or correct or complain, now they gotta take this coin and bring it back. They- they don’t get to keep it over here on the left pile. And so, uh, it really helps a couple find out, “Am I good finder or am I fault finder?” You know, how often am I using the “C’s”.

Jim: Yeah, no, that’s a good exercise.

Dr. Schroeder: And so often when couples come and say, you know, “My spouse is just not appreciating me,” well, I say, “Let’s do the five-coin idea.”

Jim: You know, Randy, and again, that’s a great… One of the many great concepts you have in your book. Um, at the close here, let’s make sure we hit this and address. I think the theme, the thread of what we’ve been talking about that a happy marriage is not spontaneous. And so many couples, when they get married, they live on that vapor of the honeymoon and that may last a year or two, and then you get into the- the normalcy of life, and the children come along and the job and promotions and responsibility and you got the house payment now. All that stuff.

Dr. Schroeder: Yeah. Yeah.

Jim: And the critical nature of that to make sure that you’re putting effort into your relationship, it’s not spontaneous. It does take thought. It does take dialogue. It does take love to do this better. And for us in the Christian in the community, we should be the best at this ’cause through the spirit, as you’ve said over and over, is really the basis for how we should deal with one another. And couples will say, “It’s easy for me to do that with my friend. It’s not so easy for me to do that with my spouse.” (laughs).

Dr. Schroeder: And- and- and Jim, I am so happy that you brought this up and we got to talk about this, because if there’s one word that points out the difference between a happy marriage and an unhappy marriage, it is planning. A marriage institute… I think it was in Philadelphia. It’s something I read probably over 30 years ago that wanted to determine what is the difference between a happy and unhappy marriages. And what they discovered the difference to be was that one word, planning. Happy couples planned time together, whereas unhappy couples let their good times happen by chance. You know, happy, successful couples plan to go to church on Sunday. They plan to give each other a meaningful hug, a meaningful kiss today. They plan how we’re gonna connect tonight. When are we gonna turn of the technology and look at each other in the eyes and just talk? They plan for dates together to strengthen their marriage relationship. And so, yeah, you’re exact-… I’m glad you brought that up. That is the key is planning. Now, that being said, we need to know, uh, how to- the words and the behaviors and the knowledge to plan for a happy marriage. We still have to have that-

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Schroeder: … but-

John: But yeah.

Dr. Schroeder: Planning is key.

Jim: And Randy, I mean, you have packed the book with so many very simple practical things to say and do in your marriage that get you the result that your heart is yearning for that kind of deep relationship. You just need to get your head moving in the right direction (laughs) and lead the way in so many ways to make sure the heart is blossoming. And I can’t stress it enough, I mean, this is one of the best resources I think we’ve come across when it comes to marriage. And if you want to, uh, again, correct a marriage that isn’t in desperate trouble, but you can do things to move it into a far healthier position, this is one of the top resources we could think of.  And if your marriage is in a more difficult spot, we want you to get a hold of us and these principles will help. And I’m sure Randy’s gonna shake his head. These are the things that can turn around your marriage, but you may need a little more intensive application right now. We have Hope Restored. You can get in touch with us. It’s a four-day intensive. It’s got an 80% post two years success rate. Really, many of the things that Randy has talked about, they help teach you to apply to your relationship and it’s one of the best things going on at Focus. But we wanna get Randy’s book into your hands. If you can make a gift of any amount, monthly is wonderful, to join us in the ministry to help more and more marriages, uh, be strengthened in Christ or a one-time gift, we’ll send you a copy of the book as our way of saying thank you. If you can’t afford it, we’re a Christian ministry, we’re gonna get this into your hands and trust that other believers will cover the cost of that.

John: And donate as you can when you call 800, the letter A, and the word FAMILY. 800-232-6459. Or stop by our website for all of these resources and opportunities to give to the ministry, um, we’re at focusonthefamily.com/broadcast. Have a restful weekend and, uh, plan to be with us on Monday as we discuss how you and your spouse can be more intentional about adding some fun to your marriage.

Preview:

Kathi Lipp: You could go for a month and not have a real in-depth conversation except about the bills or maybe the trouble your kids and at school. And if you’re not pouring into that relationship, those conversations are so draining, you could end up feeling like, “Wow, this is really tough.”

End of Preview

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Rod Dreher describes how you can teach your children to honor God, find fellowship and solidarity with other believers, and even discover value in suffering for the Gospel. He shares powerful stories of Christian dissidents under communism and encourages families to live counterculturally as radical disciples of Jesus Christ. (Part 2 of 2)

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Best of 2022: Embracing God’s Truth in a Hostile Culture (Part 1 of 2)

Rod Dreher describes how you can teach your children to honor God, find fellowship and solidarity with other believers, and even discover value in suffering for the Gospel. He shares powerful stories of Christian dissidents under communism and encourages families to live counterculturally as radical disciples of Jesus Christ. (Part 1 of 2)

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A Legacy of Music and Trusting the Lord

Popular Christian vocalist Larnelle Harris reflects on his five-decade music career, sharing the valuable life lessons he’s learned about putting his family first, allowing God to redeem a troubled past, recognizing those who’ve sacrificed for his benefit, and faithfully adhering to biblical principles amidst all the opportunities that have come his way.

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Accepting Your Imperfect Life

Amy Carroll shares how her perfectionism led to her being discontent in her marriage for over a decade, how she learned to find value in who Christ is, not in what she does, and practical ways everyone can accept the messiness of marriage and of life.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

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Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!