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Focus on the Family Broadcast

Raising Kids With Healthy Boundaries (Part 2 of 2)

Raising Kids With Healthy Boundaries (Part 2 of 2)

Psychologist and author Dr. Henry Cloud describes how parents can strengthen their children's character by teaching them to take responsibility for themselves. (Part 2 of 2)
Original Air Date: January 27, 2016

Preview:

Dr. Henry Cloud: You don’t make up a strategy on the battlefield. You know, what general ever said, okay, let’s go fight the war. And when we get out there, we’ll figure out what to do?

End of Preview

Jim Daly: (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: That’s not what you do. What you do is you sit down, first of all, the generals sit down, and they figure out what’s the war we’re trying to win here and what battles do we need to make sure we’re gonna to win and what battles are we not gonna fight? Because that becomes a very important part of any strategy, what you’re not gonna do.

John Fuller: Well, it takes a lot of thought and effort and energy and time to be a good parent. And we’ve got a great program for you today on Focus on the Family with Jim Daly. We’re gonna feature that man there, Dr. Henry Cloud, as he helps us define appropriate boundaries in our parenting. Thanks for joining us today. I’m John Fuller.

Jim: John, you know, last time I learned a lot as a dad on things I could do differently, and I hope all of you did as well. If you didn’t hear the program last time, get the download you know, smart phone app, whatever you need to do. Order the CD and listen to the program because I think there were a lot of great nuggets of wisdom that Dr. Cloud brought to the parenting effort. Today we want to turn back to his book, Boundaries with Kids. He and Dr. John Townsend wrote that book a few years ago but there are so many good things in there. We’re gonna talk about the law of motivation today and several of the other laws that they uncovered there for us as parents. So I’m looking forward to the time.

John: And Dr. Cloud has been here a number of times. He is a well-known author and speaker and he’s a psychologist who is really offering Biblical insights. I think that’s one of the things I really appreciate about him, Jim. He integrates the scripture into what he says here about parenting.

Jim: Yeah, definitely. Henry, welcome back to the program.

Dr. Cloud: It’s good to be with you guys. And, and one of the reasons I love this topic with you guys is we’re all in at this time.

Jim: (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: We all have, have kids at, at these ages and it’s fun.

Jim: It makes it fun. It’s kind of like an experiment, right? I loved what you said-

John: It’s our parenting support group.

Jim: (laughs) Yeah. This is it, right here. So everybody can listen in to this. But it is, you said it so well, a parent said to me, “Every stage has been better than the one before.” So when you have the toddlers… I’ve enjoyed it. I’ve seen those things. There’s work in each one. There are some things that are a little more troubling. But by and large I’m looking forward to the next few years I’ve got with my boys before they go off to do what they’re gonna do, college or vocation, whatever they might do. And I want to help them in that phase of both of our lives in a strong way because I want to launch them in a way that they are ready to go…

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: … for the Lord, for their future spouses and for their role as fathers. And it’s great to have you here to talk about that.

Dr. Cloud: You know it, if we can keep that sentence in mind, parenting is always about the future.

Jim: It’s hard to keep it mind.

Dr. Cloud: It’s hard to keep it mind. But when you’re talking about whether or not your kid, you know, has done their homework, it’s not about the homework, it’s about the IRS 20 years from now.

Jim: (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: Because the IRS is gonna want to know, did they do their homework? Right?

Jim: Right.

Dr. Cloud: And so that’s what you’re trying to teach them. Not about the math or the science.

Jim: Well, and it’s so true, those habits that you want to see. One of the difficulties, and again, we talked about this in a variety of ways last time is in,  developing those habits, how do we have the right throttle emotionally as the parent to lay down the law and help them live to it? And then not be too overwhelming when it comes to their failures, but to use them as moments to teach them.

Dr. Cloud: Jim, you just gave an entire course on systematic theology.

Jim: (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: No, seriously. I wish we could go back and hear this because what you said is lay down the law and help them to, I think you said, to live up to it without killing them in some way. You know, becoming overbearing or something. Okay, so in that, this is the whole message of the Bible. So, because what a lot of parents do is they lay down the law and then what they do is they watch for the infractions, and they spank the infractions or yell at the infractions or they say, “No, no,” and they call that parenting. What you said was you lay down the law and you help them to live up to it. So that is not only the way the Bible says to do life…

Jim: Mm.

Dr. Cloud: … the way God did it with us. It’s also the way you run companies, it’s the way you run families, it’s the way you run every aspect of life, that God gives us ways and standards. But he doesn’t give us ways and standards and then just punishes every time we break it. In fact, he realizes… he gives us the ways and standards that are above our ability to do them…

Jim: Mm.

Dr. Cloud: … that’s what growth is. But then he comes down and he helps us to live up to them. So parenting is about all of that. It’s about figuring out what are the standards we’re trying to live up to and he or she, our kids, are going to need help to live up to those. That’s parenting. The other way is the law that just, you know, as Paul says, the law never works anyway, just laying down the law and, you know, punishing people for when they don’t do it. It never works. They need help to get there.

Jim: Well, that is really interesting. In your book, Boundaries with Kids, you and doctor…

Dr. Cloud: And, again, I did not say don’t have any rules.

Jim: Right. (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: You must have rules.

John: Just to clarify.

Jim: There’s the clarifying moment.

Dr. Cloud: You can have too many rules, but you must have rules. But what you got to figure out is this, rules do not build the capacity in the child to live up to the rules.

Jim: Well, let’s talk about how you do that. Because one of laws in your book is the law of motivation and that motivation is to help them live up to the rules. So talk about the law of motivation. How do I get that little guy or gal to live up to rules, the law of motivation? Motivate them.

Dr. Cloud: Okay. Very interesting sentence, how do I get that little guy to live up to the rules? What if we just said this, how do it get that little guy to get that little guy to live up to the rules?

Jim: That’s better.

Dr. Cloud: Because that’s what we want, right? And so, what we have to realize is basically that we, have two drives in us. You know, we have a drive for pain, and we have a drive for pleasure, and there are different things that feel good  to us, et cetera, et cetera. Now, what we know is that in all of us there is a certain drive for what feels good that’s not good. In other words, it feels good for me to not do my homework, right? It feels good for me to not have consequences if I do something wrong. What the Bible tells us is all discipline for the moment seems not to be joyful but sorrowful. But in the end, it produces the peaceful fruit of righteousness. So the question becomes for parents, you know, we’re talking about how to motive them. What, what we’re really trying to do is we’re trying to tap into the motivation that God gave all of us, which is for a good life.

Jim: Mm.

Dr. Cloud: Right? For… because our brains are wired to, we’re supposed to enjoy life. We have pleasure centers and all this kind of stuff. But what we’ve got to is we’ve got to make sure that we organize the environment around them to where doing good things gets them a good life. And doing bad things, I don’t really like the life I get when I do bad things because I go to toddler purgatory for a while…

Jim: Right.

Dr. Cloud: … and that doesn’t feel good. And so what we’re doing is we are entering in a relationship, and we are going to prevent them from doing what feels good to them that will produce death. And we’re going to give them a lot of options to do what is good for them that will produce life. Now, notice in there what I’m talking about is I want them to learn to make the right choices that produce life or death in their own experience. Here’s one of the biggest flaws I see out there in parenting today, this whole emphasis on redirection as a total parenting strategy. I see it all the time. If your kid is upset over here or doing this you know, if they want that toy, give them another choice or, and they’re always… look, sometimes one of the best things that any of us have to learn is we have to learn to salute the word no, and realize that sometimes I don’t have an option that I want. Sometimes I don’t… you know, I’m not in control. Because they’re gonna go to work and the boss is gonna say, “I want you to do this,” and they’re gonna throw a temper tantrum. And you think the boss is gonna say, “Oh, gosh. Well, that upsets him. Well, let me find something else he likes to.” No, it’s not like that. You know, obviously we want choices and there are diversions and different choices, you can do this, you can’t do that. But you know what? One of the most important gifts you can give to your children is to learn to live within a limit and like it. When my kids were little, I remember at the parent toddler preschool, we had a great song they taught the kids. You know what it was? You get what you get and you don’t get upset.

Jim: (Laughs). That was it?

Dr. Cloud: And they learned that.

Jim: (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: And sometimes, “Can I go do this?” “No.” And they go, “And what do you say?” “Well, you get what you get and you can’t get upset.” And it normalized, I don’t get everything I want. And we don’t have enough of that today, I think.

Jim: Well, that’s interesting. You know, the other toddler environment will be (laughs), especially if you have two kids close in age, which we did and do, is, that’s mine.

John: Mm-hmm.

Jim: You know, the toddler saying that’s mine.

Dr. Cloud: Yeah.

Jim: And how do you engage that to say well, you know what?

Dr. Cloud: Sometimes it is.

Jim: Sometimes it’s true but sometimes it’s not.

Dr. Cloud: Sometimes it’s not. See that’s the thing is the whole concept of boundaries are about our property line. Our boundaries are property line. This is your yard; this is my yard. Okay? So yeah, you’re right. That is yours. Okay, now what you can’t do is use what’s yours to step over the property line. The Bible calls that a trespass. Now you stepped into my yard with your little hammer, and you can’t go take your hammer and break out the windows in the kitchen. That’s not okay. This is your hammer. You can play in your yard, and you can do whatever you want to in this circle of boundaries. But you trespass is when you step over that line into somebody else’s property and that’s the basic concept that God has always outlined.

John: We’re talking about a number of parenting principles and getting some great insights from Dr. Henry Cloud today on Focus on the Family, with Jim Daly. And Dr. Cloud and his co-author Dr. John Townsend have written a book called Boundaries with Kids. And we have that and a CD or a download of this program. Call us for details. We can tell you more. The number is 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY. (800)232-6459 or stop by focusonthefamily.com/broadcast.

Jim: You know this is such nuts-and-bolts advice, Henry. I so appreciate it. And you know, just scribbling, making notes here myself. I hope all of you are as well, because, again, this is the right stuff when it comes to the parenting expectation, what you need to be concentrating on.

Dr. Cloud: And it’s not easy either, Jim.

Jim: It’s not, it’s work.

Dr. Cloud: Yeah. Because one of the biggest boundaries that I’ve discovered about parenting, not only the people I work with but me, is the first boundary is I’ve got to set some boundaries on my own anxiety.

Jim: (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: Because, you know, at every stage there are things that our kids are gonna do, and actually sometimes things that they need to do that make us anxious, you know, in some way. And one of worst things that we can do, one of the worst things we can do is use our own anxiety as the value system (laughs) of what we’re gonna say yes or no to. Sometimes we have say okay, I don’t really feel good about this. You know, daddy needs a time out to go think about this.

Jim: Mm.

Dr. Cloud: Right? You know, judges go into their chambers, right? They don’t have to make decisions all at the moment. I need to go think about this. And sometimes I get off and reflect and I think, you know, this kind of worries me a little bit the more I think about. When I really think about it this is… you know, it’s not gonna kill them and this is something that they need to go do. And if they make good choices, certain things will happen. If they don’t, it won’t. But this is… I need to loosen up here and I need to deal with my own anxiety. Okay? At other times I have anxiety about that, and that’s a really good anxiety because why am I afraid of this? Because A, B, and C. Which A, B, and C should never happen and that’s where I’m gonna set a limit. But we… you know, God gave us senses and feeling. In the book of Hebrews it says this, it says, “Solid food is for the mature.” And we would all say that parenting is solid food, right?

Jim: Right.

Dr. Cloud: “Solid food is for the mature who through practice have had their senses trained to do discern good from evil.” See, God gave us senses. He gave us this feeling or no, I don’t like that, or this, you know. I see this and I don’t like it. Now I have this uneasy feeling. But those senses have to be trained. And sometimes, you know, what good parenting is about is our training our sensibilities and our senses and our insights and all this to sometimes we have to put off some of the patterns that were ingrained in us from the traditions of the elders. Jesus talked often about the traditions of the elders that are not the ways of God. And we can get things from our own dysfunctional families. You know, and I often ask an audience, “Who came from a dysfunctional family?”

Jim: Everybody’s hand goes up.

Dr. Cloud: Well, we all did because we’re all from the family of Adam.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Cloud: We’re from Adam’s family. Remember, it’s kooky and it’s crazy, right?

John: (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: And so we’ve inherited this. And God tells us, “Look, you’ve inherited ways and generational patterns that are not good, and you must,” and this is something that we don’t often hear about. But God told the people, you know, confess the sins of your fathers, and turn from them. So if I was parented in certain ways that are good, I want to carry that forward. But sometimes I have to ask myself, what fit a different time or what was actually just wrong…

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Cloud: … that was not good that I’ve got to be the generation that breaks that. And that’s one of the key things to parenting. Before we ever go into the parenting thing, we need our own training. You don’t send a solider off to war without going to bootcamp and training. And we got to look at our own senses and our own, our own issues first. The best parents are the one that have dealt with their own issues, so they don’t pass them on.

Jim: Well, and that’s where the resources and the tools from your efforts and John Townsend and Focus on the Family. That’s where we’re all trying to help, I think, in this area of parenting. And it’s a privilege to be able to do it. Let me get to a specific. Again, in the book you warned parents not to, as an example of what not to do, not to over identify with our child’s pain.

Dr. Cloud: Oh.

Jim: Um-

Dr. Cloud: (Laughs).

Jim: I mean, I think that’s one of the big issues today…

Dr. Cloud: Oh.

Jim: … especially for moms. Not to pick on moms, but moms have such nurturing spirits…

Dr. Cloud: And it.

Jim: …you can identify with your child. You don’t want to but talk about the danger of that.

Dr. Cloud: In the book we have a bunch of laws of parenting, right?

Jim: (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: And one of them is the law of evaluation of pain. And it goes like this, just because someone’s screaming doesn’t mean that something bad is happening.

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Cloud: And what that means is that in parenting sometimes you’re going to set some limits, or you’re going to have push them to do something, or you’re going to require something and you’re gonna get some screaming. And it can be in the passive version of that, tears, and pain and woundedness and sullenness, and this kind of stuff. And in the aggressive version of that it can be anger and push back and, you know, kind of fighting. Both of them have to do with a kid learning a very important lesson. They’re learning I’m not in control of the universe. That’s something that you’ll want them to know for their bosses, for their spouses, for the traffic laws, for a bunch of stuff, that they aren’t God. Now, when you do that, they are going to not like it. Okay? But that doesn’t mean something bad is happening.
I had an example of this recently. My, youngest daughter, Lucy, signed up for camp. And she’s been to camp, you know, a lot of times. But she does have a little thing. Sometimes in looking for things that are out there and a lot of separateness, and she’s gonna be away from home, she’ll get a little anxious. And then she found out about camp that there was gonna be no one there in her grade. It was a church camp. And there were gonna be no eighth graders. They were all gonna be either seventh graders or ninth graders which meant she didn’t have any friends.

Jim: Uh.

Dr. Cloud: She was gonna go to camp with a bunch of strangers. And when she first found that out, it was total melt down.

Jim: She didn’t want to do go.

Dr. Cloud: She didn’t. “I’m not going. I’m not going. I’m not going,” and all this. So, you know…

Jim: (Laughs).

Dr. Cloud: … we’re in the car because we found out at church and it was just drama and, “I don’t have to. You’re not gonna make me go.” You know, all this kind of stuff. And so I just said, “Well, we don’t know. Let’s find out. Gosh, it is scary.” You know, just kind of empathized with it and didn’t, didn’t do anything, but just, you know, “Well, we’ll go think about, you know.” “Well, no. You can’t…” “Well, you know, I know it’s upsetting but we’re gonna go think about this.” So, so I didn’t deal with it then, but I already knew she’s going to camp. And the reason she’s going to camp is because I want her to have to learn to go into situations that are unfamiliar and use her skills to make friends and to learn how to cope with that.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Cloud: She’s gonna do this.

Jim: So there was outcome you were looking for?

Dr. Cloud: There was an outcome I was looking for. Now, what I did was kind of you know, you do this in stages, right? And I’m not gonna get that across to her when’s she’s freaking out and all of her drama. But ultimately through all the discussions, you know, what I told her was, I said, “Luc, I understand you don’t want to do go and it is gonna scare you. You know, it’s gonna be, gonna be sort of scary. But I also know this, you know what? If you were unable to make friends and people didn’t like you and you were walking into something that was gonna be awful, the last thing I would do is to send you into it. But actually I believe that you can do this because you always do. And I know it scares you, but I think you’re gonna have a great time. And what I want you to do is I want you to go, and I want you to make a bunch a friends and I want you to have a great time. And when you come back, you’re gonna tell me how that went.” And ultimately, I mean, she had to adapt to the limit. Look, you paid for it. You signed up. You’re going.
So sometimes we have to… and she did not like it, especially in the beginning, but we got there. And this was interesting. As we were praying about it, she gets an email from one of the counselors at the camp that said, “Lucy, I just saw your name. You’re gonna be in my cabin and I can’t wait to do the music studio thing with you that we did last year.” And all of a sudden, you know, God provided a way.

Jim: So she got more interested?

Dr. Cloud: And she got a little more interested. But the point was I knew my job was to push her into discomfort and not allow the regression. And parents have two things you have to guard against. One is your children are gonna want to do things they’re not ready for. Don’t give a toddler the keys to the car. Okay? Even though they want to drive. So we’re go to guard them from their omnipotence where they want to have more control than they should have. But the other things are we’ve got to guard them from their regression because each new step is gonna be anxious and we got to put a limit behind them so they can’t go backwards and they have to go forward to learn the next debility, and that’s distressing to kids.

Jim: Well, it’s true. And the example, it’s a simple example but I remember when Trent was probably five, I signed him up for tee ball for the first time. So he’s my first-born son. And I’m thinking, “Okay, this is it. The beginning of the sports dad activities.” So we go and, you know, balls are going by and he’s just kind of looking around. He doesn’t want to go chase the ball (laughs). And I noticed he just has zero interest in this. It’s not that he was being defiant or anything, he just didn’t want to be there.

Dr. Cloud: Yeah.

Jim: And so I kind of looked at him and I said, “Would you rather go get a chocolate shake.” And he’s like, “Yeah. Let’s go do that.”

Dr. Cloud: (Laughs).

Jim: And so, you know, we went and did that. He’s never had an interest in baseball. He did pick up football and basketball. But I felt like I, I didn’t want to push him…

Dr. Cloud: Right.

Jim: … in that regard.

Dr. Cloud: Well, let me say something about that. Because here’s the principle. What you want is you want a kid that is an involved kid in life. Okay? Baseball might not be life giving to him…

Jim: Right.

Dr. Cloud: … but maybe music is…

Jim: Yeah.

Dr. Cloud: … or maybe basketball is. Now, if he were the kind of kid that, “I’m not doing anything. I just want to sit on the couch for the rest of my life,” that’s not okay.

Jim: Right.

Dr. Cloud: You want to limit the not doing anything. But they should have choices just the way that God gives us choices that go with our makeup and giftedness and all of that. They should have choices to go do that. What we’re not gonna allow is a disengagement from life. What we are gonna allow is exactly what Proverbs says, a person’s path comes from their heart and God directs their steps. So in your heart there’s this path and one kid loves this and they don’t like this. Now in the beginning, just like vegetables, what I want to do is I want to expose them to a whole menu and then see what they like. What you can’t do is not eat anything, but you do get to choose (laughs)-

Jim: Right.

Dr. Cloud: … you know whether you want the broccoli or the green beans sometimes. So, it’s both and, it’s not either/or.

Jim: No, that’s really good. And, you know, we’re at the end. I think, again, people can see the value of this tool, this resource, Boundaries with Kids. You’ve done a great job of identifying the core things that parents need to be mindful of and work on.

Dr. Cloud: Right.

Jim: And folks, guess what? Yeah, parenting is a job. It’s work.

Dr. Cloud: Well if I can say one more thing about identifying with the pain. You know, it’s not just that we require them to do something that’s hard for them and not have empathy for that it’s hard, because you said something earlier. Look, I’m gonna require her to go to camp in this instance, but I’m not gonna be harsh and say, “Shut up, you got to do it. I don’t want to talk about it anymore.”

Jim: Right.

Dr. Cloud: What we’re gonna do is we’re gonna require it and have empathy for how hard it is for her and say, “Okay. So let’s get a plan. What can you do when you get there? How can I help you?” And, and so we’re building the ability to perform the law that we’re requiring and that’s the difference. God gives us the law, but he gives us the ability and the power and the body and the help and the strengthening to get there.

Jim: Yeah. That’s a very good point. Let, let’s end with this one. I’m sure there’s a parent who is listening who feels that maybe it’s too late. They’re into the 15, 16, 17-year-old stage and they just have never heard this, they haven’t thought about it. These are new concepts for them and they’re feeling like the relationship with their teenager is already so wounded, so brittle that they don’t even know if there’s hope. Speak to that parent directly about what they can do to begin to change that ship even though they may only have a year or two years left.

Dr. Cloud: Mm-hmm. Well, I’ve got some really good news for you. And the good news is that you used to hear things both from scientists and psychologists as well as, you know, from the layperson, and its sort of like, well, it’s set and it’s formed early. And once it’s formed, you can’t change it. Right? This character thing and all this. Brain research has come up with a term for what the Bible, I think, refers to as sanctification and there is always growth. And, and what we know is that any age new patterns can form, it’s called neuroplasticity.

Jim: Mm-hmm.

Dr. Cloud: And that at any age we can change because if there is life brought to something, if you take a plant that’s wilted and you take a plant that as, as long as it’s not dead and you start to water it, and you start to fertilize it, and you start to do what it needs, what will you see? You will see growth. So enter into your child’s world. And here’s the other concept, what’s you’re gonna find in that 15-year-old where you feel like it’s too late is development gets arrested so you might find some toddler maturity in that 15-year-old and you might need to realize, gosh, you know, sometimes I’m not dealing with a 15-year-old, I’m dealing with somebody much younger than that that has a 15-year-old costume on. But I’ve got to understand that and I’ve gotta appropriately do with them what they need in the moment.

Jim: Wow. That is really good stuff. Dr. Henry Cloud, author of the book Boundaries with Kids. I think every parent should have this in their arsenal. Thanks for being with us.

Dr. Cloud: It’s always good to be with you guys and God bless what you do.

John: What an informative, helpful conversation. It’s given me a lot to think about in my role as a dad. And if you feel the same, get a copy of this excellent book Boundaries with Kids, which covers the 10 boundaries that your kids need most to become healthy adults. We couldn’t cover all of the content in our conversation the past couple of days.

Jim: John, this was one of those eye-opening and important conversations. It’s so vital for us to remember as parents the impact we have on our children. We may not want to look like the bad guy by implementing strict boundaries with our children, but sometimes boundaries are necessary to help guide them on their way to becoming Godly, responsible adults. And we hope you’ll request a copy of this book, and we’d love to get into your hands. If you can make a monthly pledge, that really helps us out here at Focus to do ministry together. But a one-time gift is also appreciated. And in either case, we’ll send you copy of the book as our way of saying thank you when you make that contribution.

John: Yeah. Contribute to the work of Focus today. Donate at our website focusonthefamily.com/broadcast or when you call 800, the letter A and the word FAMILY. (800)232-6459.

On behalf of Jim Daly and the entire team, thanks for joining us today for Focus on the Family. I’m John Fuller inviting you back as we once more help you and your family thrive in Christ.

 

 

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Removing the Barriers Between You and Your Prodigal Child

When someone you love makes poor choices in their lifestyle, relationships, or moral decision-making, there IS hope! Phil Waldrep provides concrete steps to removing any barriers that might stop your prodigal child from coming back to the Lord.

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A Legacy of Music and Trusting the Lord

Popular Christian vocalist Larnelle Harris reflects on his five-decade music career, sharing the valuable life lessons he’s learned about putting his family first, allowing God to redeem a troubled past, recognizing those who’ve sacrificed for his benefit, and faithfully adhering to biblical principles amidst all the opportunities that have come his way.

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Accepting Your Imperfect Life

Amy Carroll shares how her perfectionism led to her being discontent in her marriage for over a decade, how she learned to find value in who Christ is, not in what she does, and practical ways everyone can accept the messiness of marriage and of life.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 2

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

Cherishing Your Spouse Every Day

Do you love your spouse, or do you truly cherish them? Gary Thomas encourages couples to make a daily effort to go beyond the ‘duty’ of love, and combat the natural inclination to drift apart, by choosing to see the best in their spouse.

Mr. Gary Thomas

Gary Thomas is an international speaker and best-selling, award-winning author whose books include Married SexSacred Marriage and Sacred Parenting. He has also written numerous articles for several prominent national magazines. Gary and his wife, Lisa, reside in Texas and have three children. You can learn more about Gary by visiting his website, www.garythomas.com.

cherish front cover

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

“Most marriages survive by gritting teeth and holding on. But marriages can and will not only survive but thrive when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another.” Those are the powerful words of bestselling author Gary Thomas in his newest book–Cherish. And in a world desperate for marriage redemption, it is needed now more than ever. Thomas shows that although there are a countless number of marriages consisting of two people just going through the motions, there are real ways this pattern can be reversed: when husbands and wives learn to cherish one another in proven, loving, and everyday actions and words.

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Newest Release - Episode 2: Heroes Providing Hope

Discover the amazing work our PRC’s Directors, Nurses, and Volunteers are making in their communities! You’ll see firsthand testimonies of a PRC in action, and that there are other options outside of abortions! You’ll also discover how your family can support your local PRC!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 4: Sometimes the Choice is Hard

Hear real life stories of parents who have made the decision to choose life even though the circumstances were overwhelming. You’ll see why “ALL” life is precious to God and why choosing life is always the right decision!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 3: The Power of a Picture

Have you ever wondered what a baby looked like in the womb? With today’s technology, Moms and Dads can see the baby’s heartbeat, facial expressions, and movements! You’ll find out why more women choose life once they hear their baby’s heartbeat and realize it’s a real living human!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 5: It’s Going to be Amazing!

After a couple has chosen life, hear the heartwarming stories of children that culture would have cast aside, yet are making tremendous impacts in their communities. Whether the diagnosis was adverse or the circumstances were difficult, these stories will inspire you to come along side of families who have chosen life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

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Newest Release - Episode 6: Families Helping Families!

So, after all you’ve seen through the SeeLife ‘21 Episodic journey; what can you do now? We’ll share how you can partner with some amazing organizations that are making significant impacts in the pro-life movement! You want to Celebrate Life!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 2

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Effective Habits to Embrace in Parenting

To be an effective parent, you must be a leader in your child’s life, guiding with a gentle hand and setting a solid example. Dr. Randy Schroeder provides the insight you need to be a leader-parent. As he explores the foundational Rs—relationship, routines, responsibilities, and rules—you’ll better understand the role you play in your child’s life. You’ll learn great phrases to employ such as “Either/Or/You Decide” and “When You/Then You”. While there is no perfect parent, this nuts-and-bolts material will equip you to lead your child in a loving, confident manner.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder

Dr. Randy Schroeder has spent more than four decades writing, counseling, speaking, and teaching. For nearly 25 years, he was Vice President of Student Personnel Services, Dean of Students, and a professor of pastoral counseling at Concordia Theological Seminary in Fort Wayne, Ind. He’s also led a successful counseling practice helping individuals, couples, and families to thrive in their lives and relationships.

Cover image of Dr. Randall Schroeder's book "Simple Habits for Effective Parenting"

Simple Habits for Effective Parenting

Effective parenting is now within your grasp! With this inspiring how-to comprehensive book, achieve extraordinary results in raising a child to be self-assured, self-reliant, and responsible! You will be able to successfully lead and lovingly encourage your child toward a Godly life!

The Spiritual Battle for Your Marriage

God designed marriage to reflect His love to the world; and because of this, the enemy wants to destroy God’s beautiful design. Based on his book, Defending Your Marriage, Dr. Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff share about the reality of spiritual warfare against marriages, and how to combat the enemy’s lies with the truth of God. Couples will be encouraged that they’re not alone in the fight for a godly marriage and better equipped to be a shining example for the world around them.

Tim and Noreen Muehlhoff Cropped

Dr. Tim and Mrs. Noreen Muehlhoff

Dr. Tim Muehlhoff is a professor of communication at Biola University in La Mirada, California where he teaches classes in family communication, interpersonal communication, apologetics, gender, and conflict resolution.  Tim and his wife, Noreen, are both on staff with Biola’s Center for Marriage and Relationships  where he is a co-host of The Art of Relationship podcast. 

Defending Your Marriage

Is your marriage under attack? Sometimes it can feel like the world is trying to tear your marriage apart. Internal conflicts or external pressures might make you wonder if something sinister is going on. How can you tell if you’re facing spiritual opposition? And what can you do about it? Tim Muehlhoff provides a straightforward resource for protecting your marriage from the threats of the evil one. He looks at what Scripture says about spiritual warfare and how our everyday struggles have deeper spiritual realities. And he provides practical steps for guarding our marriages with the whole armor of God.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 1

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Reigniting Your Passion for Jesus - Part 2

For those of faith whose passion has waned over time, Kim Meeder will reinspire you in your relationship with Jesus Christ as she tells powerful, true stories about God that will spark renewed joy in your heart and encourage you to share the Gospel with others.

Headshot photo of author Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder

Kim Meeder and her husband, Troy, are the co-founders of Crystal Peaks Youth Ranch, a non-profit organization in Bend, Oregon, that rescues abused horses and pairs them with hurting kids for mutual healing. Kim is a popular motivational speaker and the author of a half dozen books including Hope Rising and Bridge Called Hope, which feature inspirational stories from her ranch.

Revival Rising

With enthusiasm that will set ablaze your passion to reach the hurting, Kim Meeder encourages you to let the holy fire of God’s presence fill your heart, soul, mind and strength. As your fear and pride melt away, those around you who are losing their battle for hope will be transformed by encountering His redeeming love in you. This–this is revival rising.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 2

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage - Part 2

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 2

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Embracing Your Role as a Spouse

As a spouse, you have three roles to play—a friend, a partner, and a lover. On this one-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Pastor Kevin A. Thompson explores those different roles and challenges you to live them out by investing emotionally, physically, and mentally in your relationship. As friends, he suggests we learn to play and laugh together. As partners, he equips us with solid ways to handle conflict and communication. As lovers, he offers some thoughts on how to bring back the sizzle. He shares five keys to saving your marriage: humility, respect, mercy, communication, and resilience. You’ll be encouraged to intentionally invest in your marriage.

Headshot of Kevin Thompson

Pastor Kevin Thompson

Kevin A. Thompson (MDiv, Beeson Divinity School) is lead pastor at Community Bible Church, a growing multi-site church with four locations in western Arkansas. Every year he meets with nearly one hundred couples with a range of needs, from pre-marital counseling to navigating the most serious betrayals. A marriage and parenting conference speaker, he and his wife, Jenny, have two children and live in Fort Smith, Arkansas. He blogs at kevinathompson.com.

Cover image of Kevin Thompson's book "Friends, Partners & Lovers"

Friends, Partners, and Lovers: What It Takes to Make Your Marriage Work

With engaging stories and clear, simple language, pastor Kevin Thompson shows how to live out three distinct roles in marraige. Using solid biblical principles, he helps you and your spouse grow your friendship, be supportive partners through the good times and the bad, and develop a healthy and satisfying sex life.

Sharing Your Faith with Grace and Purpose

You can confidently and lovingly share your faith—you just need to learn some new tactics to do so! In this Focus on the Family Daily Broadcast, apologist Greg Koukl outlines the “Columbo” tactic of asking questions, the “self-defeating argument” tactic to find holes in your opponent’s arguments, and other specific methods for engaging in faith-building conversations with others. Greg pulls from his over 30 years of experience debating atheists and agnostics to help you share your faith with grace and truth.

Mr. Greg Koukl

Greg Koukl is a writer, public speaker and talk show host who’s spent 30 years advocating for and defending the Christian worldview. Greg has written or contributed to 15 books, including The Story of RealityTactics, and Precious Unborn Human Persons. Greg has published nearly 230 articles and has spoken on 80 college and university campuses in the U.S. and abroad.

Tactics front cover

Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition: A Game Plan for Discussing Your Christian Convictions

In a world increasingly indifferent to Christian truth, followers of Christ need to be equipped to communicate with those who do not speak their language or accept their source of authority. In Tactics, 10th Anniversary Edition, Gregory Koukl demonstrates how to artfully regain control of conversations, keeping them moving forward in constructive ways through thoughtful diplomacy. You’ll learn how to stop challengers in their tracks and how to turn the tables on questions or provocative statements. Most important, you’ll learn how to get people thinking about Jesus.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 1

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

How a Former Abortion Doctor Became Pro-Life

As an abortion doctor at Planned Parenthood, Dr. Patti Giebink believed she was helping women. Later, she began reading scripture and God gradually changed her heart on the abortion issue. Patti tells the story of her long journey from abortion doctor to pro-life and encourages listeners to share the message of life with compassion.

Headshot image of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. Patti Giebink

Mrs. Patti Giebink

Dr. Patti Giebink is an OB-GYN who serves on the board of the Alpha Center, a well-known pregnancy center located in Sioux Falls, S.D. She also travels intermittently to work in mission hospitals in Pakistan and other countries. After completing her medical training, Dr. Giebink worked for Planned Parenthood from 1995-1997, during which she was the only abortion-provider in the state of South Dakota. She eventually experienced a radical change of heart on the issue of abortion after receiving God’s grace, forgiveness, and love, and she is now a passionate advocate for the pro-life movement.

Cover image of the book "Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life"

Unexpected Choice: An Abortion Doctor’s Journey to Pro-Life

Unexpected Choice is told from the perspective of a doctor who actually performed abortions through Planned Parenthood. The book chronicles her journey from being a pro-choice physician to someone speaking on behalf of the pro-life movement.

Giving up Sugar, Tasting God's Goodness

As a latchkey kid, Wendy Speake turned to sugar for comfort. Every Friday, she would pedal to the candy show and use her allowance to fill her bag with candy. And one day, when she was older and a mom of three young boys, she came to realize that she was still “pedaling” away from her stress and using sugar as comfort, instead of turning to Jesus. She was joyless, worn out, tired, and in need of a change. In this interview, Wendy will challenge Christians to take 40 days to focus on fasting from something they turn to instead of Jesus for comfort. She invited people to break free from a dependence on sugar and taste the goodness of God.

Author Wendy Speake smiling as she holds up her book "The 40-Day Social Media Fast"

Mrs. Wendy Speake

With a background in Hollywood as a trained actress, Wendy Speake ministers to women as a bible teacher by applying the power of drama, poetry and comedy to the study of Scripture and real-life application of biblical truths. She has co-authored two books with Amber Lia titled Triggers: Exchanging Parents’ Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses and their latest, Parenting Scripts: When What You’re Saying Isn’t Working, Say Something New. Wendy is also the co-author (with Kelli Stuart) of Life Creative: Inspiration for Today’s Renaissance Mom.

Cover image of the book "The 40-Day Sugar Fast"

The 40-Day Sugar Fast: Where Physical Detox Meets Spiritual Transformation

Welcome to the 40-Day Sugar Fast, a fast that begins with us giving Jesus our sugar and ends with Jesus giving us himself–the only thing that can ever truly satisfy our soul’s deep hunger. On this 40-day journey you’ll learn how to stop fixating on food and other things you use to fill the voids in life and instead fix your eyes on Christ. Anyone who runs to sugar for comfort or a reward, who eats mindlessly or out of boredom, who feels physically and spiritually lethargic, or who struggles with self-control will discover here not only freedom from their cravings but an entirely new appetite for the good things God has for us.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 1

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Understanding the Root of Your Child's Misbehavior - Part 2

Often, children act out because they are used to getting attention through bad behavior. Dr. Kevin Leman offers advice to help parents transform their child’s behavior. He discusses the benefits of allowing your kids to learn from real-life consequences and describes the importance of understanding your child’s temperament based on his birth order.

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman

Dr. Kevin Leman is an internationally known family psychologist and an award-winning, New York Times best-selling author. He is also a popular public speaker and media personality who has made countless guest appearances on numerous radio and TV programs. Dr. Leman has written more than 50 books including The Birth Order BookHave a New Kid by Friday and Making Children Mind Without Losing Yours.

Bundle of Why Your Kids Misbehave

Why Your Kids Misbehave and What to Do about It

Tantrums. Talking back. Throwing toys or food. Meltdowns. Slamming doors. Kids know just how to push your buttons. You’ve tried all sorts of methods, but nothing seems to work. In this book, Dr. Kevin Leman reveals exactly why kids misbehave and how you can turn that behavior around with practical, no-nonsense strategies that really work . . . and are a long-term win for both of you.

Loving Your Spouse Through the Seasons of Marriage - Part 2

Debra Fileta has identified the four seasons of marriage that correspond with our natural seasons – spring (new life and new love), summer (things get hot!), fall (showing our true colors), and winter (long days ahead). In this interview, she will help couples better understand the four seasons of healthy relationships, what to expect during each one, and how to carefully navigate them for a stronger marriage.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage.

Love in Every Season: Understanding the Four Stages of a Healthy Relationship

Every relationship goes through four life-changing seasons: Spring. Summer. Fall. Winter. Each season plays an important role in taking your relationship to the next level. And depending on how you navigate each season, your relationship will either flourish and grow, or it will slowly die. Whether you’re single, dating, engaged or married, join licensed professional counselor and relationship expert, Debra Fileta as she takes you on an eye-opening psychological and spiritual journey through the four seasons that she has observed in every healthy relationship.

Reconciling Faith and Science in a Medical Crisis

Dr. Lee Warren is a neurosurgeon who has faced many heavy challenges in his life – from serving in the Iraq War to removing deadly brain tumors to experiencing the loss of a teenage son. He’ll share about his difficult quest to find answers to some of life’s toughest questions, while holding onto his faith in God and the sure hope of heaven

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Dr. W. Lee Warren

Dr. Lee Warren

W. Lee Warren, M.D., is a brain surgeon , inventor, Iraq War veteran, and author of I’ve Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon’s Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know, winner of the Christian Book Award®. His previous book, No Place to Hide, was included on the 2015 U.S. Air Force Chief of Staff’s Recommended Reading List. Dr. Warren has appeared on The 700 Club and the CBS Evening News, and his writings have been featured in Guideposts magazine. His Dr. Lee Warren Podcast, which is heard in more than 60 countries, helps listeners use the power of neuroscience, faith, and common sense to change their lives.

Cover image of Dr. Lee Warren's book "I've Seen the End of You"

I've Seen the End of You: A Neurosurgeon's Look at Faith, Doubt, and the Things We Think We Know

This gripping inspirational memoir grapples with the tension between faith and science—and between death and hope—as a seasoned neurosurgeon faces insurmountable odds and grief both in the office and at home.

Praying Scripture Over Your Child’s Life - Part 1

Jodie Berndt loves to pray for her children. She’s been doing that for the past thirty years. Now she helps other parents to talk to God, asking for the salvation of their kids, and for wisdom, self-discipline, purpose, a future and much more. She offers fun and practical encouragement that moms and dads can put to work immediately in their daily lives as they prepare their children for a life in Christ.

Headshot of Focus on the Family broadcast guest Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt

Jodie Berndt is a public speaker, a Bible teacher, and the the author of 10 books. Find out more about Jodie and get some free resources (including printable prayer cards and calendars) at her website, jodieberndt.com.

Cover image of Jodie Berndt's book "Praying the Scriptures for Your Children"

Praying the Scriptures Over Your Children

You will discover how using the Bible to shape your desires and requests opens the door to God’s provision—and frees us from things like worry and fear in our parenting! This expanded edition of the bestseller features updated content on issues like technology and identity, and comes with new material designed to invite children into the family prayer circle. Purchase now and receive 10% off your product.

Mothers and Sons: Being a Godly Influence - Part 1

Rhonda Stoppe describes her early motherhood challenges of raising a son, which was intimidating to her. She found help through group of older women mentors. She urges moms to see their role as ministry in shaping sons to be good and godly men. Rhonda outlines several practical suggestions to moms about spiritual training, how to communicate with boys, and supporting the father-son relationship as a wife.

Headshot of Rhonda Stoppe

Rhonda Stoppe

Drawing upon 35 years of experience as a mentor, pastor’s wife, and homeschool mom, Rhonda Stoppe offers encouragement and guidance to women as an author and public speaker. She is popularly known as the “No Regrets Woman,” as she is especially passionate about helping women live life without regrets. Rhonda’s books include Moms Raising Sons to Be MenReal Life Romance, and The Marriage Mentor, which she co-authored with her husband, Steve.

Cover image of Rhonda Stoppe's book "Moms Raising Sons to be Men"

Moms Raising Sons to Be Men

Mothers of boys have the special calling to shape future men of God. Popular speaker Rhonda Stoppe, mom to two sons, knows this opportunity is a challenge, a joy, and probably the most important work of a woman’s life. Drawing from years of experience, this inspirational resource will revive the faithfulness and fortitude a woman needs to partner with God as they shape the character and heart of a future godly man.

Identifying Triggers in Your Marriage Part 1

They were both convinced they had married the wrong person. From almost the very beginning of their marriage, Amber and Guy Lia experienced various tensions and personality clashes related to house cleaning, backseat driving, workaholism, and intimacy. In this two-day Focus on the Family broadcast, Amber and Guy discuss how they bravely faced the triggers head-on, and committed to working on their own relationships with Jesus. As you listen to the Lia’s story, you’ll feel hope that you, too, can see real marriage transformation!

Headshot of Guy and Amber Lia

Mr. and Mrs. Guy and Amber Lia and Mrs. Jean Daly

Amber Lia is a work-at-home mom, blogger, public speaker, and co-author of two best-selling books. Her husband, Guy, is a former TV, feature film, and VFX development and production executive who has worked on popular TV shows and films. Guy and Amber own Storehouse Media Group, a faith- and family-friendly TV and film production company based in Los Angeles,

Cover image of the book "Marriage Triggers" by Guy and Amber Lia

Marriage Triggers: How You and Your Spouse Can Exchange Angry Reactions for Gentle Biblical Responses

A husband-wife team offers practical advice for married couples to end the cycle of reactionary arguments by examining the most common issues that trigger disagreements and apply God’s Word to radically transform relationships.

What to Do When You're Not Okay - Part 1

Life can be pretty stressful. Between work, relationships, and other obligations, the pressure builds, and we lose sight of who we are. Counselor Debra Fileta helps you better understand your emotions, assess your mental, physical, and spiritual health, and intentionally pursue a path to wellbeing. In dealing with anxiety, depression, and panic attacks, Debra understands the importance of self-examination as well as the benefits of seeking professional help. She offers biblically-based advice, tools, and encouragement to help you get on a path toward healing and wholeness.

Author Debra Fileta in the Focus on the Family broadcast studio

Mrs. Debra Fileta

Debra Fileta is a licensed professional counselor specializing in relationship and marital issues. She is also a public speaker and the author of multiple books, including Married SexChoosing Marriage: Why It Has to Start With We > Me, Love in Every Season, and Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are, How You’re Doing, and Why It Matters. Debra’s popular relationship advice blog, TrueLoveDates.com, and her Love + Relationships podcast reach millions of people each year offering guidance on topics including love, sex, and marriage. Debra resides in Pennsylvania with her husband, John, and their four children.

Are You Really Okay?

Are You Really OK: Getting Real About Who You Are

In Are You Really OK? author and licensed counselor Debra Fileta challenges you to get real with who you are and how you’re doing spiritually, emotionally, mentally, and physically so you can recognize where you need growth and healing.

Navigating a Toxic Culture with Your Daughter - Part 1

As a pediatrician, Dr. Meg Meeker has seen thousands of girls come through her office through the years. They struggle with eating issues, sexual identity, social media…and many other challenges in this toxic culture. Dr. Meeker will encourage parents to invest love and time in their daughters and develop their character to give them the best opportunity for a bright future, all rooted in a spiritual foundation. The discussion also includes healthy feminism vs. toxic feminism

Mrs. Meg Meeker

Dr. Meg Meeker is a pediatrician who is widely recognized as one of the country’s leading authorities on parenting, teens and children’s health. With appearances on numerous nationally syndicated radio and TV programs, her popularity as a an expert on key issues confronting families has created a strong following across America. Her work with countless families over the years served as the inspiration behind her best-selling books which include Strong Fathers, Strong DaughtersStrong Mothers, Strong Sons and The Ten Habits of Happy Mothers

Cover image of Dr. Meg Meeker's book "Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture"

Raising a Strong Daughter in a Toxic Culture: 11 Steps to Keep Her Happy, Healthy, and Safe

Meg Meeker has been a pediatrician for more than thirty years, is a mother and a grandmother, and has seen it all. She knows what makes for strong, happy, healthy young women–and what puts our daughters at risk. Combining that experience with her famous common sense, she explains the eleven steps that will help your daughter–whether she’s a toddler or a troubled teen–to achieve her full human potential.

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Newest Release - Episode 1: The Truth About Life!

In this episode, we will tackle tough questions like, “When does life begin?” and “What does the Bible
say about Life?” You’ll discover and understand the stages of pre-born life and that babies are more than
just a clump of cells!

Yes, I Promise to Pray for the Pre-born and Their Moms!

Will you pray for the pre-born and moms that are facing unexpected pregnancies? We will send you a 7-day prayer guide that will help guide you along this journey with us!! You can even choose to receive this great resource by text!

Thank you for committing to pray for the pre-born!

Sign up below for your free seven-day prayer guide. This daily guide will help give direction to your prayers for the pro-life movement. We will be praying with you!