One of the best, but most underestimated, ways to connect with our 15-year-olds is to teach them to drive. Many parents dread it — and for good reason. I live in Illinois, and once a student driver gets his learner’s permit, the state requires him to log drive time with a parent or adult driver before he can take his test for his intermediate driver’s license. In our family, we required 100 hours, double the state’s requirement, just to make sure our boys developed the best possible safety habits. Once they got their learner’s permit, our boys were chafing to get on the road. They were asking, begging, to spend alone time with my wife or me. Imagine the possibilities:
- One hundred hours to listen, share and dream together.
- One hundred hours to talk about life, faith and the hard questions that surface.
- One hundred hours to touch on topics that have eternal impact.
Often kids this age find it easier to talk when they don’t have to look a parent in the eyes. Driving is perfect for that.
Our kids will make mistakes driving and show poor judgment. They may have a close call or two and get embarrassed. Sometimes they may even feel angry with themselves or be scared. But if parents want to connect, we’ll need to do all we can to make this driving time a positive experience. Here are ways we can do that:
Watch our tone, especially when correcting our kids. Say things in a kind way.
Stay encouraging. “Good job on that turn.” “Good job checking that lane before switching.”
Demonstrate patience, lots and lots of it. They’ll love to hear stories of how we messed up when we were learning to drive.
Be excited. We don’t want them to think taking them out driving is a chore for us.