Fatherless Child Seeking Assistance

Can you help me deal with the pain of being abandoned by my father? He left the family when I was young. Now that I'm getting older and really need his input, he's not here for me. What should I do?

A starting point would be to tell your mom that you’re having a hard time right now. Even if she’s dealing with difficult emotions of her own, she may have important insights to share with you. If you’re wondering why your dad left, she might be able to answer your questions too. Did he have a problem with alcohol or drugs? That wouldn’t excuse his leaving, of course, but it might explain it.

Maybe you could talk to your mom about the possibility of writing your father a letter. Ask your mom if she has his address, or if there’s someone else who might know where he is. Perhaps his parents or siblings would be able to forward a letter to him for you.

After this discussion with your mom, you can begin writing to him when you feel ready. Express your feelings openly and honestly, and ask him any questions that are on your mind. Let him know how important it is that he responds. There’s no guarantee that he’ll answer, but it’s worth a try. The process of writing can be beneficial for you, too. It’s often a very healing experience to put our deepest thoughts and emotions down on paper.

Whatever happens, remember God loves you deeply and looks upon you as a favored child. You are His special, unique creation. He’s sad about the pain you’ve experienced as a result of being abandoned by your dad. Psalm 68:5 tells us that He is a “father to the fatherless.”

If you haven’t yet accepted Christ as your personal Lord and Savior, we’d encourage you to find out more about Him. He loves you, and He gave His life for you when He died on the cross. Get a Bible and begin reading the Gospel of John in the New Testament. Becoming a Christian won’t take away all your hurt, but it will help you cope with your situation as you begin to understand the depth of your Heavenly Father’s love.

If you’d like to talk to someone about this, our staff counselors would be more than happy to take your call. There’s no cost to you for this; it’s our way of showing that we care.


If a title is currently unavailable through Focus on the Family, we encourage you to use another retailer.

Overcoming Father Wounds

Healing the Father Wound (broadcast)

Overcoming the Father Wound (broadcast)

Learning to Forgive Others

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